This Is Worth Doing, No Matter What Outwardly-visible, Culturally-acknowledged Things I Do Or Don’t

your bare minimum isn’t actually that bare or minimum. my dad once told me that there’s nothing in this world that’s easy and that’s true tbh. everything we do takes energy, time, and effort. even the little things. if you feel like you’re not doing enough please try to think about your circumstances and what’s currently available to you: chances are, there’s something that’s diverting or otherwise draining you. and to pull away from that and get something done regardless? well, i think that’s really admirable! please try to take pride in the things you do accomplish in a day, no matter how small or trifling you perceive them to be. you can’t be proud of your growth if you don’t notice where you already are!

I’ll try and respond to this later, I do have Some Things! (but not enough time or spoons to spare, just now)

hey… do any of my fellow avpd-ers have advice on making yourself Do Things that you Really Need To Fucking Do (ie adult things like emails/phone calls) and, on that note, how to explain your avoidant tendencies to people esp authority figures so that you don’t sound like a lazy asshole

Mary Oliver, from “the fourth sign of the zodiac” published in Blue Horses

The one thing you can control is how you treat yourself. And that one thing can change everything.

Leeana Tankersley (via psych2go)

If you’re struggling, here’s some words from Angry Prayers for Furious Survivors 

It’s okay to be annoyed at social distancing. It’s okay to be disappointed your favorite event was canceled or frustrated with online classes or online work. It’s okay, feel the way you’re feeling, we need room for that.

But remember, herd action is a powerful thing, we aren’t doing this for just you or me or one single person. We’re doing this for the elderly and immunecompromised, we’re doing this for the health care professionals so they don’t get too overwhelmed. We’re doing this for more than just ourselves. This is collective action at work.

And it is the group that lifts that barn when no one person can

it is the group that takes turns talking to the man down during the worst day of his life

it’s the group that gets out the wet wipes and quietly takes down hate symbols

and we don’t do that for ourselves. We do that because there is a love for strangers, a love for people we don’t know, and a dedication to others that is more than just “me” and “survive” and us vs them.

It is easy to feel alone in these times when we are literally meant to be alone, but this too is a means of care, this too is an act of love. And I think, I really do, I think that’s worth holding onto.

Adult realization: you will make mistakes, you will act irrationally. You will commit some wrongs that cannot be fully righted. People will dislike you and misunderstand you for all sorts of reasons. None of these make you a bad person. All you can do is try your best to be kind and just to people, grow and learn.

Oh gosh, that feel. Figuring out when my "back off" anger is appropriate or an overreaction is something I still struggle with.

I almost always check what other people think, to see how my reactions correspond ... But some of the people around me have issues with boundaries, too, so that isn't always a reliable measure. Sometimes, negative stuff gets normalized, and that's hard.

But I'm getting to the point where I'll stick to my own opinion even if someone else says I'm overreacting. Because the thing is, even if something is "objectively" okay, it might not be okay for ME. And my individual needs & preferences are important.

The people in my life should care about and respect what I need. And if they don't want to, that's their shortcoming, not mine.

I’m so wary of people in my life and I feel like they are violating my space and privacy (if that’s true then that’s fucked up???) I can’t tell if I’m being paranoid but it’s causing me so much discomfort that I just want everyone to leave!! me!! alone!!!

I think… one of the interesting things about online messaging and texting is that sometimes, writing out your feelings to someone is actually so much easier than speaking them. Like, I cannot easily express myself through verbal words. I stutter, I panic, I say “nevermind” because I can’t bring myself to admit the words out loud. But with online messaging, I can blabber on the keyboard like a stream of consciousness, and I can express myself to my friends in a way that’s sometimes very hard for me to do irl

Which is why I’m so defensive about this whole belief that face to face communication is more real than online interactions. In a way, yeah, it is, because it’s more literally “real,” and im not at all gonna deny the value in irl relationships. But online communication has genuinely allowed me, a socially anxious person with a fear of opening up, to develop meaningful relationships with people, and you don’t understand how grateful I am for that