Difference Between Promises And Memories?

It’s been a few hours, you’ve just been hanging there. You’ve been quiet, too quiet. Usually there’s music playing, or your foot steps could be heard. But today, you’re quiet. Your little sister, who doesn’t normally come to greet you because you lock yourself away, decides to see what you’re doing. She assumes you’re taking a nap, or doing some homework quietly. She runs up the stairs, eager to see, but she comes to an immediate halt. You’re not doing your homework, nor taking a nap. Your music isn’t playing and you aren’t walking around. You’re hanging there, completely still, now just like her. At this moment, her whole world shatters. Everything she has ever known, looked up to, loved, is hanging there by a thread. At this moment, her life has been changed forever. At this moment, she wishes she was hanging with you.

Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.” No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.” No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.” They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever could. They will cry, scream, and break down. They’ll believe it’s all just a dream, praying to wake up. Except, they won’t feel that for a few seconds, or a few days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day they die. Everyday will be hell. They’ll think of you ever second. They’ll hate themselves for not being able to help or save you. They’ll wish they could die too. They’ll want to give up, just to be with you. They won’t be ever be happy again. They won’t smile. They won’t go back to their daily routine. They’ll die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of you, or think of a memory with you. They’ll think, but stay quiet. They’ll visit your grave, feeling a knife go through their chest every time. And every morning when they wake up, no matter how long it’s been, they’ll wake up to thinking they’ll see you, only to be let down once again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they refuse to admit it, know you’re gone forever.

Before you decide to take your life, think of your family, burying you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral. It’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. They’ll have to call the cops, sign a death certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket, pick out flower arrangements, and more; All for their child’s funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought didn’t need you, or didn’t care, are waiting in line to see you. They aren’t waiting in line at a party, or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. They’re waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a casket.

Before you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be hurting. Don’t you dare say no one, because absolutely everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, won’t have a grandchild anymore. Your parents, won’t have a child anymore. Your brother or sister, won’t have a sibling anymore. Your pet, won’t have an owner anymore. That person you sit next to in class, won’t feel your presence anymore. Your teacher, won’t have a student anymore. That time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever, thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking if they didn’t yell at you, you would still be here. That time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves, because they believe you would still be alive if they said they loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead, you would be here. That teacher that said you didn’t meet her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here.

Before you decide to take your life, think. Don’t just think of yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No one’s life will be the same again. That person who God made specially for you, won’t have you. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your pain, but you’ll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.

If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out:

My ask is open, and I’m always here. I’ll never judge you. I’ll try to help you.

If you are thinking of taking your life, call:

1-800-784-2433

1-800-SUICIDE

Suing my parents.

I'm suing my parents for giving birth to me without my consent.

i’m actively suicidal and i really can’t see why that’s a bad thing

Same.

I keep finding myself missing those fresh streaks of scarlet lining my arms, feeling the warmth as I watch my blood ooze from my skin. I miss the healing cuts that turn different shades of red, brown, and purple. I miss the roughness of the scabs catching the fabric of my shirts, the twinge of pain that accompanied it. The soreness the day after a relapse, the sting when I wash them in the shower. The itch when the scabs start falling off showing the fresh new scars underneath.

I miss it, and yet I hate it. I hate it so much. I’m disgusting.

Never tell someone who’s been through shit that others have had it worse. That will makes them feel like their feelings, emotions, illness, experiences/trauma, etc. aren’t valid or good enough. It will make them feel like they don’t have a right to feel the way the do. You can’t compare other people’s struggles, everyone has been through different things. everyone is a different person.

Whatever you are going through, whatever you’ve been through, it’s valid. You have a right to feel the way you do. You have every right. Don’t let someone else make you feel guilty for the things that you feel or have been through.

And most importantly, don’t let yourself convince you that your feelings aren’t valid and that you have no right. Everyone struggles with their own shit, don’t compare yourself to others.

I myself am an ashtray. I keep lighting up and

stubbing myself out.

I take a breath and consume my own smoke.

Poison after poison,

my knack for self-preservation outweighs

my self-destruction by a single ash.

Where do I keep these butts of hope?

Half charred reminders that I almost

burnt out completely, twenty times over.

I paint it from every angle, but the truth remains:

Self-inflicted damage won’t disguise the

marks someone else left.

The Man

The man you called ‘dad’,

The man who turned his back 

The man who left you alone to grow by yourself.

The man you no longer call dad,

The man who turned back,

Like years hadn’t pass.

Now the man that never calls back,

Asks why you never call back.

Makes you laugh,like he isn’t the man who left you alone to grow by yourself…

I relapsed today..

everythings just been getting worse and worse. i couldn’t take the empty feeling in my chest any longer. i picked up one of my old blades and it took away all the sadness i felt:/. i feel happy n at peace now… things really are getting worse.