I Myself Am An Ashtray. I Keep Lighting Up And

Yeah bro, I'm totally good! My heart just hurts, like all the time, ya know?

“I fall too fast, crash too hard, forgive too easily and care too much.”

— unknown (quote of the day 2)

Stop guilt tripping the suicidal

People need to stop guilt tripping suicidal people. We feel enough guilt from our brain telling us what pieces of shit we are. Guilting us by saying we’re going to cause heart ache to those around us is unproductive. Instead of wanting me to stay alive due to your selfish reasons try and help me stay alive for myself. Just like cancer is part of the body attacking itself mental illness is the brain attacking the body and most of us who are suicidal or end up going through with it didn’t do so willingly. We lost a battle with our own brain. Please be kind and careful when talking to suicidal people like we try and be kind and careful to not hurt you with our feelings. We don’t want to hurt others. We are fighting within ourselves whether to release ourselves from such horrible pain or continue trotting on for the sake of others. We try our hardest. We’re not all successful. And while it’s heartbreaking when someone loses a battle to depression it isn’t their will or desire to hurt others. It’s this yearning to finally find inner peace, and it’s the body’s way of obtaining it.

So you’re confused because I took it personally? Bitch yeah I took it personally. I stayed, I was always there, I was your best friend. And you just threw me to the curb when someone better came along? Yeah I took it personally, because I never would’ve done that to you.

And I don't want to be okay. I'm used to it.

Fucking hell I’m not okay

I never was

I relapsed today..

everythings just been getting worse and worse. i couldn’t take the empty feeling in my chest any longer. i picked up one of my old blades and it took away all the sadness i felt:/. i feel happy n at peace now… things really are getting worse.