I Just Want To Be Beautiful

Can my body just stop functioning so I can die?

BAHAHAHAAAHAH ME

me at literally any minor inconvenience…

me: i want to kill myself

best friend: wtf?! why??

me: i spilled milk

best friend:…so clean it?

me: no, you don’t understand…i must die now

“Teach me how to feel this skin without wanting to tear it from my bones.”

- Skin and Bones

This.

Everybody thinks I’m so happy.

And I’m like : « Ok, but I won’t show you my arms and my thighs. You won’t see me crying the whole night and fall asleep at 4am. Neither when I can’t breathe because of my anxiety. Neither when I go to the toilets to cry. Neither when I have a binge eating episode. Or when I throw up in the toilets. Neither when I put a fake smile on my face when I have to meet people. Neither when I wake up and think about dying. You will never see this part of me. »

Same.

Do you ever just want someone to punch in your face, crack a few of your ribs and cut open your skin?

“And all I want to do is make you happy, but I can’t even do that right.”

How do I befriend myself?  I am [after all] the now who hurt me the most.