Cumplan

imagine shen qingqiu and shang qinghua getting sad about missing stuff from the modern world and mobei jun being like “i don’t know what a dorito is but i will find it and slay it to bring home for my wives at once”.

three days later

MBJ, with a monster head in his hands: as you requested, i have brought a dorito. SQQ: …. YOU ACTUALLY NAMED ONE OF YOUR FUCKING MONSTERS “DORITO”??? SQH: IDK MAN I DONT REMEMBER THIS SHIT I PROBABLY THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD NOTICE THESE THINGS MBJ: is this not the right beast? i can go and- SQQ and SQH: nope no no more monsters we are good this is indeed a dorito MBJ: i see MBJ: good. MBJ: so how do we cook it to get it to become “cool ranch”. SQQ and SQH: …..

Shen Yuan who accidentally becomes Shang Qinghua's roommate after inviting him over so many times that he already has his toothbrush there.

His whole family thinks they are a couple.

His sis thinks that they are even in very advanced steps of their relationship, like, already engaged or something because of their level of intimacy and closeness.

His brothers think that Shang Qinghua is a vermin who takes advantage of their little Yuan-er's money, until they come across Shang Qinghua grocery shopping and notice all the care he takes in choosing products that won't harm Shen Yuan despite his own comments about love those spicy instant noodles so much (noodles that he don't add to his shopping cart. Everything there is healthy, nutritious and free of agrochemicals).

Eventually, his parents accept Shang Qinghua as well. Sometimes they start calling him "son" and so. As long as Shen Yuan is happy...

Shen Yuan doesn't understand why his family is so weird. He, in love with that pathetic author? What's wrong with them? They live together so that idiot doesn't have to pay rent and prostitute his novel!! Let him write a happy ending without the demands of a jerk-off audience for Luo Binghe!!!

Eventually, PIDW's comments also start to believe for some reason that Airplane and Peerless Cucumber have become boyfriends. Shen Yuan is resigned. Fuck you all.

average moshenshang exchange: Shen Qingqiu: do you literally have zero care for bro code???? Shang Qinghua: SORRY BRO I ONLY KNOW HTML AND SOME BASIC PYTHON Mobei-Jun: qinghua,,,, can talk to snakes?????? 

this is the sqx + pei ming friendship I believe in. (Delusional)

THEY’RE MARRIED.

To whom it may concern,

Sub: Why Wen Ning Pairings make me uncomfortable

I love Wen Ning. I really do.

But it makes me deeply uncomfortable to find him in any kind of romantic pairing in the fanfics.

And I have realised why.

Because, he has yet to encounter someone who recognises him as the independent person that he is, not a little brother, not a rescue case, not a weapon, not a pet.

He has to go out there in the world, and find that person for himself.

Because nobody that has been mentioned in-verse deserves him. Not. A. Single. Body.

Thanks.

shang qinghua trying to have a movie night with his boyfriends and failing.“a yuan can you please stop criticizing the inconsistent characterisation and just watch the movie.” “MY KING STOP TRYING TO SKIP TO THE END JUST BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS- OH MY GOD”

i just believe in mbj (no media literacy) being confused about the moral and emotional drama in stuff and just being like “if they were like 50% more okay with murder this would be over so much faster” vs sqq (way too much media literacy) overanalyzing every detail and jumping to wild conclusions

Mobei Jun knows both of his wives are terrible at self care and will go days without sleeping or eating if not monitored, so he's gotten used to taking care of them the same way people take care of plants. Has wife one fallen asleep while writing again? Better bring him blankets to keep his environment at optimal temperature for growth. Wife two is too busy grading assignments and skipping meals? Bring extra nutrients and water to him. Happy wife, happy life, and Mobei Jun did not put his whole mobussy into all this demon king shit to be a depressed bitch

Shen yuan. I wanna kiss her.

LEVERAGE AU - how each member of the team approaches grifting

Meng Yao:

Lan Xichen:

Nie Huaisang:

Nie Mingjue:

Jiang Cheng:

(based on this text post)