I Dont Get Offended At White People Jokes Even Though Im White Because: 

Maglor from the Silmarillion

Finrod and Beor at a girls night

Jod na nawood: I lived in a hole in the ground when she (a jedi) found me!!!!

Me: 🤨 in a hole in the ground??? There lived a hobbit????

NOOOOOO CRACKER BARREL GOLF PEG GAME I AM NOT AN EG-NA-RAY-MOOSE NOOOOOO PLEASE IM NOT AN IGNORAMUS NOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

You know which two characters I’d love to watch interact? Fëanor and Bilbo. I just know that Bilbo would put the fear of god in Fëanor. The guy would change his name to Fëarnor after ten minutes in a room with Bilbo. Bilbo says completely out-of-pocket things every five minutes like it’s his day job. He once stabbed a pillar in Elrond’s house just to show Frodo that his sword was actually sharp as if there was no other way to do it.

That Hobbit would take one look at the Silmarils and ask Fëanor why he threw away his immortal soul for “what to me looks like a glorified matchstick, my dear fellow”. He would write a five page poem about all of Fëanor’s misdeeds from the time he broke a window as an elfling to the kinslaying, and then recite it to his face and make him give constructive criticism on the rhyme and meter. He’d say Nerdanel should have “gone for the smart one, not the pretty one”. He would say “my dear father is dead too but you don’t see me going around screaming like a banshee and killing everyone, do you?” He would tell Fëanor that many problems of the psyche can be traced to trapped wind, and inquire as to whether or not he ate anything “bean-adjacent” on the morning he made the Oath. He would ask him if he’d never heard of contraception, and suggest that he try breathing exercises next time he feels the urge to burn a ship or two. He’s mansplain Tengwar to him. He’d write a letter to Finwë telling him all this was the result of not disciplining his child at the age of five and send him a list of Supernanny-type childcare tips, “in case you want to try again, because I don’t think this world can handle underpopulation”. He’d have Fëanor crying in two minutes, I know it, I know it in my bones.

I'd sell my favorite fork for a semicolon

In my humble opinion

Kind as summer, gender-bent Luthien in physical description.

Okay Tolkien fans name your favourite character without giving their name.

I'll start: Has such bad daddy issues that he fell for an obvious lie, ended up dangling by his wrist for a long while, then made a someone turn into a bird over some jewellery. Oh! and Kidnapping. Can't forget the kidnapping.

Helo.

I have just had double stuff oreos for the first time.

I now firmly believe that they simply have TOO MUCH stuff.

Cannot imagine how crazy those mega stuff oreos are gonna be.

what do you mean elon musk did a nazi salute on live tv at the united states presidential inauguration twice and is now erasing the evidence off the internet by replacing the footage with the crowd cheering instead?

would be a shame if people reblogged this, wouldn’t it?