Wonderweasley - If I Am A Sword, I Am Made Of Glass

Eddie's a Douche

Roommate!Eddie Munson x Reader

A/N: Thinking silly Eddie thoughts after a long day of writing porn Eddie thots

Warnings: sex talk, period talk, cramps, written in tumblr app, Eddie has a douchebag jar like in New Girl

Masterlist

"Okaaaayyy," he grumbles, rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in exasperation. "I will have sex with you."

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"Huh?"

"What the hell...did you just say, Eddie," you incredulously ask over the chorus of complaints from Steve and Robin.

Nodding his head, gesticulating like he's placating you. "I will have sex with you. Urrggh, twist my arm, why don't you," he complains, bobbing his head with played up frustration.

"I didn't ask to have sex with you. All I said was my cramps are bad today." You look at him like the insane person he is.

"Okay...," he looks around like you're missing the point. "But do you wanna?"

"Jar," you all shout in unison, pointing to the glass jar on the coffee table-the jar specifically labeled 'Eddie's a Douche.'

make me choose ↳ niles crane or frasier crane (asked by anonymous)

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hogwarts legacy // incorrect quotes ft. my mc 🐍

Weasley Family Dinner

Modern!George Weasley x Reader 

Plot: You and your fiance George get ready for and go to family dinner at the Weasley house. (Takes place in modern times, and does not feature magic or the magic world.)

Author’s Note: My first post, so feel free to message me with requests, compliments, or any criticisms you might have. All are appreciated! Enjoy!

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“George, have you seen my phone?” you called out to your fiance of six months. 

“On the counter, love,” he replied without taking his eyes off the soccer game on television. You grabbed your cell phone off the kitchen counter, then thanked George and kissed his cheek. 

“We’re going to your parents’ as soon as the game is over, so you’d better be ready,” you warned. Molly was not happy with the two of you the last time you were late to family dinner- she’d gone on an hour long tirade and forced both of you to apologize to the entire family for pushing back their dinnertime by a whole 15 minutes. You still shudder even thinking about it. 

As the match came to an end, you and George said goodbye to your pets and headed outside to your car, preparing for the hour’s drive to the Weasley household. 

The home George had grown up in was nothing special; unfortunately, his family had more children than they could really afford, but they managed. Their home was far off in the country and was quite large, equally as rundown, but full of love and laughter. And you loved every bit of it.

Mere seconds after pulling into their driveway, George’s twin brother Fred stepped outside the house to greet you both.

“Well, well, well...look who managed to make it to dinner on time for once,” he smirked. You gave him a light punch to the arm in retaliation. 

“It was one time!” You exclaimed. “And after what happened last time, I’ll never be late again! I still have nightmares!” Fred and George gave the same chuckle, and the three of you headed inside to say your hellos to the rest of the Weasley clan. Once that was finished, you entered the kitchen to see if Molly needed help with dinner. Based on her frantic chopping of vegetables, you assumed the answer was yes, so you grabbed a knife and started chopping carrots to go into the stew she was making. 

“Oh, thank you, dear. I’ve been trying to get Arthur to help me, but he’s off talking Harry’s ear off about who-knows-what,” she rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. 

“Men, right?”

Between the two of you, the vegetables for dinner were all chopped in record time, and before you knew it, dinner was ready. Everyone took their seat at the table, and (as usual) all hell broke loose. Food was being passed around from person to person, hands reached across the table to grab the salt and pepper, and the chatter was loud enough to rival that of a rock concert. 

You and George caught up with all of his siblings and their significant others, including one of your best friends, Hermione. Within minutes (to no one’s surprise), Mrs. Weasley interrogated you about your wedding plans. 

“Surely you have a date in mind, (Y/N).” She continued, “And I say the sooner the better!” 

“Actually, Mum,” George interrupted, “we were thinking about next spring.” You nodded, smiling at George. He smiled back in return, his sweet, freckled smile. 

Molly Weasley, also grinning, could not have been happier, and at this moment, neither could you. 

forgive yourself. whether you fail a test, eat too many cookies, say the wrong thing, fail a class, or spend a whole day in bed — learn to forgive yourself. the next day will be better. the next day will be a day closer to your next success. you can do it.

Having your main anxiety response be Avoidance is crazy cause you'll think you're chillin and then one day you're like waitttt I've been paralyzed with fear this whole time. Damn

person: what’s your type

me: fictional

oh my fuuuu--

(source: j_kaluzhnaya on Twitter)