HHEEELLLOOOOOO For All My Peeps Who Haven’t Seen This, There’s An Absolutely Baller Group Of Works

Aizawa, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Present Mic: …

Present Mic: What’s in the box?

Aizawa: What woul-

Present Mic: Shouta, what’s in the box?

Aizawa: I think you know

I don't know if anyone said this before, but, I think the one thing that would put the fear of an alien god into an alien would be just how territorial humans are.

Humans generally have small territories tightly packed against others, sometimes even on top of each other. They are social creatures, after all, and seem to enjoy inviting each other to their territories that might even contain other species!

So, you would think they would welcome other visitors, right?

Wrong. Humans are wildly territorial to the point even something as harmless as a fruit fly is murdered on sight. Then, surely they must allow other predators that repel such creatures, right? Wrong again, even 'useful' ones likes spiders are shown no mercy.

Alien: I apologize but I'm struggling to grasp this concept. You said you killed that arachnid as there was a possibility it could come in contact with your sleeping quarters. Doesn't your feline companion frequent there? I'm sure it couldn't do more damage than an apex predator?

Human: Uhh, okay let me rephrase that; it isn't about coming in contact with my stuff. It's about me allowing it. Mr. Pickle Jar is allowed to be here and touch my things, that spider isn't. So, it needs to die.

Alien, writing DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING UNLESS SAID OTHERWISE in big bold letters in the notepad: Ah, I see. Thanks for sharing.

"Hey guys I got whooping cough."

"OH! OHOHOH! BEGONE SICKLY ONE! QUARENTINE RIGHT F*CKING NOW I CAN'T BE GETTING THAT."

"Woah calm down--"

"Do not tell me to calm down! Do you have any idea how contagious this shit is?!?!"

"Well, I heard but I'm wearing a mask and I'm literally on the other side of the glass wall, talking to you on the phone right now!"

"Like I give a rat's ass! I work at the child centre!! I. CAN'T. GET. WHOOPING. COUGH. BEGONE. NOW."

"Okay okay okay! I get it, going now! only like 8 of the kids could get it anyways...not even the same species."

"Love you!! I'll make you some cabbage soup!" with that she goes back to her lunch. Oblivious to the strange looks from her co-workers.

"Uh, what's whooping cough?" asked Op reaching for the salt with her tail.

"A very contagious human disease that gives you a nasty cough for several days to a few weeks."

"Oh, that doesn't sound too bad."

"Yeah but it can make you feel just awful and is actually very dangerous for infants, young children, and the elderly."

"How dangerous?" Fenrir asked

"Well...they could die."

*silence*

"Its not often though, usually rare, they're just more at risk. I mean I had it when I was a baby and look! I'm perfectly fine."

For a while no one said anything. Just eating. Until Fenrir asked another question.

"Why is it called whooping cough?"

"Because that's what it sounds like. The inhale sounds like a whooping noise. But according to my parents I sounded more like a barking seal."

"What does a seal sound like?"

"Hold on." she fishes out her phone and finds a video of a seal barking.

*Seal noises*

"...and what does whooping cough sound like?"

*Whooping coughing noises, which honestly sounds like someone coughing up their heart and soul*

"...how the f*ck are you alive???"

"I second that."

"My Dad tucked me into his coat and walked out in the winter air so that it would clear my lungs."

"That's it?!"

"Cold air is what saved you from death?!"

"...I mean I probably had some antibiotics but yeah. There's no real cure, just a vaccine."

"THERE'S NO CURE FOR THAT?!"

Aizawa: Father's Day is just a ploy made by capitalist in order to increase revenue by building sentiment over a relationship which will only bring you pain and abandonm-

Eri: i made you a card! :D

Aizawa, tearing up: you did?

Hori literally serving up so many hard drawings after BNHA ending, like did we only get crumbs the whole time 😭😂

[we can always meet again within one for all. romantic, right?]

Ice scream.

There's not really a punchline or a joke to this one just a bad financial decision.

Another piece for my IbAU feat my beautiful malewife ♥

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Realized on CSP Glazed with Glaze Made with LOVE ♥

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Goge-&-Shark art: Please don't repost and/or claim as yours my artwork

"Stop talking!" (Kiss Day 2021)

Kim and Max and the adventures of running an alien child care centre

"Human Max I'd like you to meet Ezshi, they will be joining you soon in the youngling centre."

"Oh hey there buddy, nice to meet you!"

"Now, what do we say Ezshi?"

*croc sounding hissing and snarling*

"Ezshi! You apologize right this instant!!"

"...oh boy"

days later~

"I don't know what to do! The kid won't stop hissing at me everytime they see me! As soon as they spot me they flare up and won't stop hissing at me, they almost bit me when I tried giving them their chocolate milk!! I don't know how I'll survive this year Kim."

"That's rough buddy," she gives sympathy pats to him. "but why don't you try my method? Y'know, the one I used with my siblings and cousins."

"Kim if I did that I would get fired."

"Yes, in an earth school you would without question buuut...here?"

"...here I wouldn't! Kim you genius!"

later....

"Ah, human Kim, I am here to pick up Ezshi early today. May you point me to them?"

"Yeah sure, right over there with Max." she points to a large crowd of children and parents.

"Thank you Human Kim."

"Of course....maybe I should've stalled them for a bit...shoot."

"Ezshi! Where are you? Ah, there you-- oh my."

In the middle of the crowd is Ezshi and Max both hissing and snarling at each other. The young reptilian slowly advancing towards the human, eyes slitted.

"EZSHI! Youngling you will stop this at--!"

"Wait Mx. Ezshi's Bubba! Maxie is okay, look look!"

"Youngling Human please release your tiny hands off me, I must save your 'Maxee'...huh."

Max advances as well but more predatory like, circling around the youngling until their back hits a table. Jumping onto it thinking it'll make them look more intimidating, Ezshi hisses down at the lowly human. No one interferes, especially the other reptilian and predator like species.

"Okay now here it comes Max, remember not too much spit and be aggressive!"

Back straight, toes pointed, chin up, the young man closes the gap between them with a headbutt while releasing a roar. Silence. Until finally, with eyes dilated, Ezshi chirps and bows their little head.

"Aw, its okay buddy. Now go get your stuff, your Bubba is here."

"Thank you caretaker Maxee! Lets do that again!"

"Human Max how did you know how to assert dominance among my people? Was it Tarlak's family? Tigihalaxes and Repilixes do share similar customs..." they muse.

"Oh it was Kim."

"Yep!"

"And how, may I ask, do you know how to assert dominance among my people Human Kim?"

"My siblings and cousins."

"....you were taught by your human kin?"

"Some of them started to roar and hiss while we goofed around and to make sure they still listened to me while we did this I would 'assert dominance' by doing exactly what Max did."

"I thought humans did not have displays of dominance and that everyone is to be treated equally, like a herd."

"Yes thats right."

"But you just said..."

"Oh that was just us playing around. We still do it every now and then, just over the holidays my little sister and me did the equivalent of the gorlazitics display of dominance."

"For fun??? And not to be the new leader? No one was killed?"

"Save for our mother's opinion of us, no."

"Are you sure you two are herbivores?"

"The proper term is vegetarian, which is what I am, Kim is a pescatarian."

"May the fish forgive me for finding them so delicious in sushi form."