Fuck It *domesticates Your Supervillain*

Do you think aliens would get freaked out when we crack our joints?

*human stands up after too long spent hunched over the computer, all joints cracking*

*alien coworker whose only experience with human anatomy comes from movies where crack = broken bone*

eraser merch part 5

"Hey guys I got whooping cough."

"OH! OHOHOH! BEGONE SICKLY ONE! QUARENTINE RIGHT F*CKING NOW I CAN'T BE GETTING THAT."

"Woah calm down--"

"Do not tell me to calm down! Do you have any idea how contagious this shit is?!?!"

"Well, I heard but I'm wearing a mask and I'm literally on the other side of the glass wall, talking to you on the phone right now!"

"Like I give a rat's ass! I work at the child centre!! I. CAN'T. GET. WHOOPING. COUGH. BEGONE. NOW."

"Okay okay okay! I get it, going now! only like 8 of the kids could get it anyways...not even the same species."

"Love you!! I'll make you some cabbage soup!" with that she goes back to her lunch. Oblivious to the strange looks from her co-workers.

"Uh, what's whooping cough?" asked Op reaching for the salt with her tail.

"A very contagious human disease that gives you a nasty cough for several days to a few weeks."

"Oh, that doesn't sound too bad."

"Yeah but it can make you feel just awful and is actually very dangerous for infants, young children, and the elderly."

"How dangerous?" Fenrir asked

"Well...they could die."

*silence*

"Its not often though, usually rare, they're just more at risk. I mean I had it when I was a baby and look! I'm perfectly fine."

For a while no one said anything. Just eating. Until Fenrir asked another question.

"Why is it called whooping cough?"

"Because that's what it sounds like. The inhale sounds like a whooping noise. But according to my parents I sounded more like a barking seal."

"What does a seal sound like?"

"Hold on." she fishes out her phone and finds a video of a seal barking.

*Seal noises*

"...and what does whooping cough sound like?"

*Whooping coughing noises, which honestly sounds like someone coughing up their heart and soul*

"...how the f*ck are you alive???"

"I second that."

"My Dad tucked me into his coat and walked out in the winter air so that it would clear my lungs."

"That's it?!"

"Cold air is what saved you from death?!"

"...I mean I probably had some antibiotics but yeah. There's no real cure, just a vaccine."

"THERE'S NO CURE FOR THAT?!"

Simpler Times

Summary: A four year old Yoichi just wanted to prove that people are nice. Turns out he was very wrong but at least he knows he is safe as there someone that will make sure nothing ever happens to him.

_______________________

Since Yoichi could remember all he ever knew was his brother. White hair and white eyes that seem to stare at the world with fear and hostility. He always noticed people steered clear of his older brother.

But they weren’t kind to him either.

They didn’t fear Yoichi like his brother, but they didn’t offer a hand to him when he is near. They look at his hair and their face would scrunch in disgust when they realize he is different.

Unlike the fear they feel at his brother when they look at him, they look at him with contempt. He just didn’t understand that look considering he was only four years old sheltered by his brother. Always protected from the worse of it but his eyes still holding the light of innocence.

As he has seen adults being nice to kids, so maybe they will be nice if they see he needs something?

“Look at this little freak, is he looking at us?” One spoke, Yoichi could barely understand their words as he walked over to the group of guys. He had approached because he didn’t believe his brother when he said people would hurt them. People couldn't possibly be that mean but then he never really interacted with many people. He shifts in place as he realizes there were several adults, his green eyes looking up at them hungry.

Slowly he holds his hand out to the adult as he tries to remember the words to express his hunger.

“F-Food?” Yoichi stuttered wanting to prove to his brother they can ask for help. His green eyes looked hopeful as the three guys looked at him with confusion. For a moment, he thought they were considering helping as they looked among each other.

He was naive.

“Hell no!” One screamed and before Yoichi could even realize the danger he was in. He felt a sharp kick to his stomach as his reward for his bravery. A harsh gasp escaped as he fell to his knees before being kicked in the face.

“Damn you actually kicked the kid. What if he had some creepy powers and skewered your ass!” Another of the men questioned but Yoichi was on the floor gasping. He didn’t understand what he had even done wrong; he was just asking. His eyes were filled with tears as his teeth ached, instinctively his hands moved to his mouth since had been kicked in the face. It hurt.

He whines but it didn’t seem any of the adults cared that he was in pain. As they began to talk among themselves.

“Tch, it’s fine. I got to make sure he learns to stay away and see I’m in one pie-” 

Those were the last words the man ever said as a large metal beam slammed into him. A loud disgusting crunch could be heard as he was slammed through the wall. The other men were shouting in terror at seeing their friend but they weren’t able to get away. As a familiar face came onto the scene.

His big brother had found him already hitting them with a strength unbecoming of his size as he steals their power from their unmoving bodies. Those white eyes staring down at the assailants as he steps on them like insects.

He needed to act fast, Yoichi forces himself up despite the pain before finding a random soda can. It wasn’t much but it was something so he grabbed it. With as much strength as he had he chucked it as hard at his brother. The loud clink was heard as it made contact with his older brother and the older boy froze.

“Stop,” Yoichi spoke trying to remember all the words he learned to make his brother understand. His brother looked over at him surprised at having a can thrown at him. Those white eyes staring intently at him and Yoichi can tell he might be mad at that, “Don’t hurt.”

There is a pause, his older brother did seem to stop attacking the men. As if his words had the effect he wanted as the older boy without a name approached. Yoichi looks up at his older brother, trembling just a bit since this is the first time he did something like this. 

Then Yoichi got kicked for his trouble.

“No cans,” his older brother said, making it clear the kick was for throwing a can at him. Being rough with each other wasn’t anything new. Unlike those men the kick wasn’t that hard even if many would disagree as it did throw him back. Falling onto the hard floor Yoichi winces in pain at the rocks digging into him. Guessing it was a small price to pay to get his brother to stop.

His brother leans down next to him looking at his face with a frown before picking him up, clearly unhappy at stopping. Likely more upset that this area was now unsafe for them to live in since people now know they were here. He tucked Yoichi under his arm as goes to find a new hiding space for them.

Yoichi guessed he should have been more careful so no one else gets hurt. Not at all fighting his brother as they needed to find a new home to live in, far away from here. So no one that knows them will come to hunt them down, Yoichi learned his lesson on approaching strangers. Guessing his brother was right that people did want to hurt them, he was more surprised his brother wasn’t more angry.

If you ignore the kick anyway but that seemed more about the can being thrown at him then him approaching strangers.

“Sorry….” Yoichi mutters those words as his brother finally finds a spot and places him down to settle in. His brother doesn’t say anything, at most he moves a hand to pet and ruffle his head as goes to sit next to him. It seems his brother was empty handed so his attempt to find food must have not gone well.

“It’s ok,” his brother said softly as they just sat against the wall. His older brother moves to grab his wrist and leans back against the wall clearly tired. His brother really does a lot for him, he moves closer snuggling up against his older brother as he closes his eyes.

He loves his brother and hopes eventually he will be big enough to help.

Humans understand that for a lot of alien species, baring teeth is a sign of aggression, so we all learn to smile with our mouths closed but then we meet an alien species that think "that thing you guys do with your face muscles" is as adorable as we think a cat doing a blep is and then only finding out (with horror) way later that when we smile at each other we bare our teeth and that's a sign of friendliness and happiness we do to each other among members of our own species.

Imagine being an alien recently assigned to a new ship and there's multiple humans on this crew and you're like "Yes! I hope these humans do the 'smile' thing it's so adorable" and then you watch two humans hanging out and they're baring their teeth at each other and you're like "oh no the predators are gonna fight this is bad" until someone else on the crew notices you turning distressed colors and is like "No that's what their smiles look like when they smile at each other" and the you're suddenly very intimated by the fact that the persistence predators bare their teeth at each other when happy.

I'm a sucker for 'Nedzu adopts Izuku' fics so I wrote one!

Nedzu is so hard to write please tell me how I did (〃´∀｀)

Mic: Aizawa & I shared an apartment in college. Mic: And My dates always seemed to stand me up!! Mic: That is, until I realized Aizawa would answer the door as I was gettin ready.... Mic: Once I made that connection, I cracked my bedroom door open just a smidge & spied on him! Mic: He pretended to be my angry husband!! Mic: And he threatened to launch cats at my date until they left!!! Mic: When that didn't work he'd activate his quirk...ya'know floating hair...red eyes..& claim to be the spawn of satan to spook 'em... Mic: That's when I suspected he MIGHT have a little crush on me...

Humans cracking their knuckles as an intimidation tactic against aliens

Can you imagine being an alien and this thing just broke its bones at you?????

I'd be scared tbh

Why did it make that noise

That's a bone breaking noise

It's like those ppl who bite off their acrylics before a fight

Illustration of @crashfurs ocs :D Thank you again for commissioning me <3