Wolfw33 - Wolfw33

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There's the urban legend that some japanese companies will hire a "loud American." A person who is just there to voice complaints to the boss when others cant.

I had an idea today that alien ships might hire "The Human!" A person who is just there to just stand there and looks like the be the big, tough, indestructible threat of a being that the galaxy knows humans are.

Doesnt matter who the human is. Big or small, male or female, a tough soldier or more gentle than a newborn. They just have to be present and let the reputation of humans speak for itself.

Is the captain trying to enforce an unpopular regulation on the crew? Ask The Human to have a private meeting and voice the complaints.

Trying to sell some goods but the buyer wants to renegotiate the price to be more unfair to you? Ask The Human to be there at the negotiating table.

That jerk at the bar keeps pestering you with their mating display, because they want to be the one to fertilize your eggs wont take no for an answer? Ask The Human to escort you back to your quarters.

Not sure if the neighborhood where you're making the delivery is a safe one? Just ask that lovely human if they wouldnt mind putting down their crochet and coming with you. They might be extra thrilled if you mention they could take their pet with them, for a walk.

He's cute too

Human Observation Log 192

Out of concern for our Human crewmate, I tried to warn them about the Nardian that just joined our crew. As you know, Nardian’s are highly volatile and will not hesitate to challenge even weak species to duel. They bath weekly in the blood of animals and come from a planet that is constantly at war. Their aggression is well known to all but when I informed our Human, Kim, they became agitated. They accused me of being ‘racist’ and expressed their ‘deep disappointment.’ 

I do not understand. I was merely concerned for their physical wellbeing. Kim left, declaring their intention to become friends with the Nardian. Human’s do not understand that it is impossible to befriend a Nardian.

Human Observation Log 192: Follow up

The Human has befriended the Nardian. His name is Greg. I have been invited to join them for red mud baths as a form of ‘self-care.’ I am beginning to believe Human Kim could befriend anyone short of an Android.

Human Observation Log 192: Follow up

Human Kim has befriended the Android and I understand nothing.

Ok so some bit ago I learned that why humans fingers and palms prune up in water is to get a better grip in water

What if aliens don’t have that funky little feature?

So imagine a human and their alien group are trapped in a little area and there’s a bunch of water and it’s rising (absolutely terrifying experience) and the aliens are trying to get a grip on the kinda rough wall and can’t but they look at the human and are shocked because they’re clinging to the wall like a spider

So ima say they get out safely and they update the human guide/manual

“Humans gain sticky hands in water”

Aizawa: Whoever gets the most points in this exercise will get to lead training next week.

Class 1-A:

Aizawa, groaning: Fine. And you get to pick the flavor of the next Gatorade pack I bring.

Class 1-A, rioting:

another humans are space orcs/humans are space oddities who run a care centre for alien younglings

"Excuse me, caretaker Kim?"

"Yes Tarlak?"

"Can Mira spend a night cycle at my home?"

"Uhhh, your gonna have to ask her parents for that. Do you want me to ask them for you?"

"Are you not one of her parents?"

"No..? What gave you that idea?"

"Because she has called you 'mama' 3 times before. As have Fredric, Yasmine, and several other human children...except for Danny...he called you 'papa'."

"Oooh, right, right, uh I'm actually not anyone's parent."

"...then why do they call you that? It does not make sense."

"Well, as you know, humans can form connections with just about anyone and sometimes those connections resemble the ones we have with our family members. So when kids call me mom or sometimes dad even, it's because I remind them of that parent."

"Remind? But you look nothing like Mira's mom."

"Yeah, but I remind her of how she feels with her mom. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, that is understood. Thank you for explaining this to me *whistle chirp*"

"Yeah no problem. Wish I could whistle like that."

A few days later...

"Kim!"

"Oh, hey Max!"

"How did you and every other parent...become a thing?"

"I'm sorry what now???"

"Look, I know you guys have been pretty quiet about it but, come on. Having the kids call you mom or the equivalent of mom in public? Pretty obvious buddy."

"...is that what they've been calling me?"

"You didn't know? How did you not know?? See this is why you should have taken linguistics with me...wait does this mean your not dating every other parent?"

"Max, the fact that you think I have that much game is the most flattering thing anyone has ever thought of me."

they were peak funny when they were with Endeavor, they were so chaotic trio and mentor

Don’t mess with his healer! 

Art for my fic The Roundabout Way of Fate

The second chapter is up! 

AU where Todoroki starts posting his conspiracy theories online and it ends up opening a public debate on whether All Might, Eraserhead or All for One is Izuku Midoriya's, a.k.a Hero Deku, real father. Somehow, after numerous "Dad Wars", the Dadmight, Dadzawa and Dad for One factions manage to get all three men, Izuku, as well as lawyer Inko Midoriya on the show You Are Not the Father. After much tension, emotions, and tears, to the point that the three men themselves have started believing that they might actually be the father, it is revealed that NONE OF THEM IS THE FATHER. That revelation starts a riot in the "Dads for Deku" community with more and more wild theories appearing as to WHO EXACTLY IS HERO DEKU'S REAL FATHER ?

Cue Hisashi Midoriya coming back from America for his long awaited vacation and 100% unaware of the shitshow that is awaiting him.