Lmao Im Also Pretty Sure There Are Other Fast Food Options Than Mac Donalds. 'takes A Nation-wide Effort'

one day my father will sneeze so hard that the sun will explode prematurely

please stop saying that daniel craig's james bond has no personality. he does, and it is called heinous bitch

can people just fucking shut their mouths and chew. is it that difficult. one moment i'm enjoying my food and the next moment i notice that the inside of your mouth looks like a cross between roadkill and rotting seminal fluid. stop

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

salty that's why :) hope this helped :)

why would i fixate.on the fucking ocean. girl that's water.

Madds Mikkelsen literally just makes puppy faces throughout the entire show and makes it look like he's gonna kill someone

i would never put myself in your shoes because 1. my feet ouchy and 2. they ugly as hell

i peaked at six years old when i went up to my mom and told her i wanted to get pregnant by a girl and not a boy. she said it's not possible so i sobbed until i passed out

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula: