130. The Name's Zeppoli. Pizza Zeppoli.

robo toilert

off topic and i know you don't care but once upon a time i went with my grand parents to visit a (ridiculously) rich friend. they were having a party, i was i think maybe 5????i don't know. anyway. i drank lots of orange juice. then i needed to go to the bathroom. there was a bit of a line, but a thing i noticed was that everytime the door opened, i heard a whirring sound, like a bee stuck in a peanut jar.

ok. so i enter the bathroom. my grandma is outside. i walk in. its a very big bathroom. there's blue lights every where. i take a few steps forward, the toilet seat is closed. a few more steps forward and the toilet seat goes whirrrrrrr and suddenly??? SPRINGS OPEN LIKE A SACROPHAGUS WITH A CURSED AND POSSIBLY DIARRHEA RIDDEN MUMMY iNSIDE. it starts to beep very cuntily. I've already screamed at this point, and my granny is banging at the door. i also happened to have pissed my pants, because my 5 year old brain has conjured up visions of the toilet ripping itself out of the floor, walking over, and then swallowing me into faecal oblivion.

and guess what's in the toilet? a turd. it forgot to flush.

i peaked at six years old when i went up to my mom and told her i wanted to get pregnant by a girl and not a boy. she said it's not possible so i sobbed until i passed out

what detergent does moon knight use

fake it till you make it i guess. carry your head high, shoulders back and romanticize your day (or try to). and one day you'll just get there.

How the fuck do I achieve confidence and... *mumbling* self love...? Sounds made up.

Anyways yeah how do I get that?

i hope elon musk drops dead cia do your thing

people on tumblr be like 'hear me out 😚' and it is The Goo

Can you tell me how I can improve?

i don't know what my mutuals are going on about but i like it. its like being on a pasture and all of a sudden a toilet roll whizzes past you but its nice because it blows a little breeze into your face

life is just humiliating yourself over and over and learning to live with the inherent shame of being alive !! do what makes you happy !! it is impossible to live life without embarrassment, so why bother trying !!

batman wrote this

batman comic arcs are so mindlessly dark all the time. “the killing joke” “death in the family” “batman’s grave” how about “batman has a nice fucking day for once” huh? “batman chills the fuck out and spends some time with his kids” “batman and the relaxing picnic” “batman has a really good cup of tea and its not poisoned or drugged because he’s been stressed lately” huh???? what about that, assholes.