I Keep Imagining A Distant Future Where Sqh And Sqq Are Sitting Together With Their New Husbands And

Cumplane AU: SQH being married to SY by accident. No transmigration.

After the end of PIDW, SY decided to track down Airplane through very very definitely very LEGAL ways.

He yelled at him when he trapped sqh in a grocery store where sqh just wanted to buy more noodles. Then, SY offered him a place to live and paid him to fix and rewrite PIDW.

After SY's parents nagged him about getting married and finding a partner. sy find himself thinking that he should just marry SQH for the tax benefits and also to stop his parents from nagging. He didn't have anyone else to marry, so why not. One day SY complained about the inaccurate marriage procedures in PIDW and dragged sqh to the courthouse for a 'fake marriage'.

SQH didn't find out until SY's sister asked how it was like to be married to her hermit of a brother.

"Married??? What are you talking about?" SY's sister quickly sends sqh the very real marriage certificate and license with his name on it.

"WTF, haha, no way. It was fake. He only took me there to improve the wedding scenes in my story. Ahaha... fuck."

you're an absolute genius, im stealing that tag forevermore

okay but I kinda need read a fic where Shen Yuan is wife plotted (AGAIN) by some random papapa plant (dammit Airplane--) and he basically falls into a floating coma or something. on a hunt for some rare herbs with liu qingge, he's lured by the sound of his Binghe's (his lost little lamb) voice and ends up ensnared.

okay, imagine that he's being held high in the air by these vines, just asleep, and nothing can wake him, even after liu qingge cuts the monster plant down to get him. he's just sleeping, rosy-cheeked, unwakeable.

peak lords panic, and start trying to figure it out what this rare plant is. sqh wracks his brain somewhat and somewhat remembers this plot line.

they come to the conclusion that its the everlasting dreams flower or some shit. basically traps the victim in their dreams while it sucks out their qi until the person dies of dehydration/starvation or qi loss, whichever kills them first (sometimes, its not the latter, and if the person is a cultivator, they can last a while before their qi is fully drained enough that they can no longer practice inedia but also haven't died yet). meanwhile, the person won't even care because their dreams are so sweet, that they don't want to leave.

the only way to cure it? true love's song. someone who truly knows and loves the sleeper needs to sing something from the heart, and if it's pure enough or something, it can pierce through the pleasant dreams of the person and wake them up. yqy and lqg instantly become flustered, but both of them can't help but secretly wonder how it would feel to have Xiao jiu/shen-shixiong wake up at their song.

they confer with the rest of the peak lords a little outside of shen yuan's resting rooms on the Qian Cao peak, and yqy decides to sing a little lullaby he used to sing to Xiao jiu when they were still on the streets. he goes in, his voice is a steady but a bit nervous, but he croons that shit out. airplane can't believe his fucking ears. yqy could honestly be an idol its not fair wtf-- only, sqh knows he can't dance to save his fucking life, so.

when yqy finishes, he waits, but his heart sinks when Xiao jiu doesn't so much as stir. he hurries out of the room but sqh notices how the tips of his ears are red in embarrassment. of course, even when he still had his memory, Xiao jiu wanted nothing to do with him, why did he think it would change now, he just--

lqj goes in next. he murmurs a song that he constantly hears sqq sometimes strumming on his guqin, thinking that means sqq must love the song. he's not sure what else he can do, he doesn't know how to sing from the heart, but the feelings he has for his shixiong... he has to at least try to wake him.

he doesn't wake. lqj walks out in defeat.

airplane who has been wracking his brain all this time because he was trying to think of requirements for awakening so he wasn't paying attention suddenly jumps up. he doesn't mind the startled glances that the other peak lords give him.

he just remembered!

the song didn't have to be a romantic song or anything. the love for the sleeper didn't have to be romantic love, at all! he remembered this plot line that he added about binghe trying to wake one of his wives, but it was one of the wives' sisters that woke her, because she truly loved her sister deeply. causing binghe to realize that his love was becoming shallow, in that it wasn't enough anymore or blah blah blah. he scrapped that plot line and that plant after he got a ton of bad reviews for even suggestion that lbh's love (pillar) wasn't big enough and so he had lbh fix it with papapa, but whatever!

he shivered.

anyway, the story has been so warped over time that its only told that it has to be a romantic lover. but it didn't have to be.

he had an idea. he loved Shen Yuan! despite the rocky start, their shared transmigration and experiences led them to form a closer relationship, and Shen Yuan was his best friend. he knew him wholly, both in his bitchiness of Cucumber-bro of their old lives, and in the snarky-masquerading-as-pretentious SQQ he was in their new lives. He knew him as a whole of Shen Yuan, not as Xiao Jiu, or as the original goods.

and also, both he and Shen Yuan had discovered they both liked some similar songs during one of their weekly private meetings a few weeks ago, while Shen Yuan was there under the guise of planning their eventual escapes, but was actually just drinking up all his wine and ransacking his snacks.

he's got this! (he hopes.) (he would quite not like his bro to die from an unwakeable coma.)

confidently, with incredulous stares following him, he walks into the room and sits at shen yuan's bedside. and proceeded to sing, as smoothly as he could, a vocaloid love song. if nothing else, it might shock Shen Yuan awake to hear a random ass vocaloid song in his dreams. the lyrics are actually pretty sweet and soft, but he can't stop imagining the music behind it, making it funnier than it should be to sing it.

[Shen Yuan, whose dreamscape has become completely synchronized to his current living conditions and so he dreams of the serene bamboo hut: *sitting at his table with binghe pouring him more tea* *sudden hatsune fucking miku disturbing the atmosphere*

Shen Yuan: 👁️👄👁️]

while he tries not to giggle as the song comes to an end, the stares of the other peak lords boring into his back from the doorway (he can just hear them thinking, "yqy and lqg couldn't wake him up but you think you can?" but maybe that's just his imagination. or maybe they think the song is shitty, what does he know--), shen yuan's eyes flutter open.

airplane, who didn't think this would actually actually work (though he hoped), gapes at him. Shen Yuan, eyes half lidded from sleep, gazes back.

"uh..."

"The everlasting dreams flower, really? That was a really good plot line, can't believe you, ah," Shen Yuan yawns, "dropped it in favor of more papapa as always, you shitty author." He can't catch a break. Why did he wake this guy up again?

"he's awake!?" multiple voices cry out.

THUMP. yqy has fainted.

they both have forgotten their audience. liu qingge has goes outside to punch a tree. the other peak lords are in various states of disarray, disbelief, and discomfort. liu minyan has appeared out of nowhere to take notes. mu qingfāng rolls his eyes and comes in to check shen-shenanigans's meridians.

"Can't believed that shit worked, honestly," Shen Yuan says, eyeing one of the older disciples try to drag YQY to a cot. he is starting to rouse. "hatsune miku, really?"

"aw! well now you know how deeply and purely I love you, shixiong!"

THUMP. YQY has fainted again.

more sounds of breaking trees from outside. mu qingfāng warily calls out a warning to avoid his good medicinal trees, thanks.

after a while of conversation, with eyes closing a bit once more, from exhaustion, rather than the plant poison, Shen Yuan gives Shang Qinghua a small smile. As his eyes flutter shut again, he says, "I love you too, bro."

I could have fucking done this????

How does my handwriting change so quickly? It went from small, cute, and bubbly to long, thin, and sharp in 10 minutes. 🤔🤔🤔 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnz2XOCnn3p/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1e4pas37dzqmh

A pole dancing bunny for whoever who wants it.

new fic!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64863049

here are the memes~

pre-transmigration cumplane secretly dating since basically the beginning and nobody else knows

shang qinghua always called him pet names in his replies but everyone just assumed it was like...mocking

"babe you keep complaining yet you keep reading" "awww love you too sweetheart" "don't be so cruel hon"

evb thinks he's teasing until shen yuan slips up and everyone is like. holy shit. are these guys *actually* together ????

peerless_cucumber: you fucking hack you literally used this exact same wife plot 12 chapters ago are you KIDDING ME. you're sleeping on the couch tonight i can't with you.

airplane-shooting-towards-the-sky: awww you remember my plots 🥺 love you sm baby 💚

so instead of the scathing replies shen yuan usually gets it's just. hoards of messages questioning if they've been dating this whole time

true ┐(´∇｀)┌

My mum keeps telling me I need to read more books, but she doesn’t know that I read fanfiction for hours every day. Like, I probably read more than everybody else in my year at school combined.

luo binghe is already airplane’s thinly veiled self insert, i wonder how things would go if he had transmigrated into luo binghe while shen yuan still transmigrates into shen qingqiu. the cumplane lover in me says they’d figure out the transmigration thing much faster and end up working together, but i also think it would be funny if sy’s love for “lbh” gets called into question bc he does NOT remember bingge being such an obnoxious little shit, meanwhile airplane!binghe is purposefully being increasingly disobedient bc why tf is the scum vilain being nice to him? like sure he's still snappish and mean, but he hasn't hit him or made him chop wood even once what is going on what is happening to his story his characters???