First Sitting On This Piece Yesterday 💖

The Dragon Age boys react to pregnancy news

Alistair – “A…a baby? But how. Okay, yes I know the one bit of mine and the other bit of yours that had to be sort of mashed together. Repeatedly. Which is probably going to get my butt lightinged and all… So it’s real? A real, really real baby? Maker’s breath. I’m going to faint.”

Zevran – “You’re with child? Even after employing our impenetrable defenses? No doubt it is my doing, I was the one to suggest we try the coiled serpent after all. Well, what do you wish to do?”

Anders – “Truly? I’d never imagined, but… This is a blessing. A child of ours shall one day shatter the grip of the templars upon our people!”

Fenris – *Storms off to the Wounded Coast for a week* *returns in a huff* “Very well. What now?”

Cullen – “We’re going to have a…a small, fragile infant. We require a cradle immediately! Bassinet, booties, and hats for the babe. I shall have to fortify the stairs in your room lest it fall down them.”

Dorian – “HOW IN THE NAME OF ANDRASTE DID THAT HAPPEN?!”

reading letters from 1818 is wild

“it’s that time of the year when I get colds for no apparent reason again” have some Clairitin hon

And that’s how Zevran seduced the Warden. There’s no other way. If anyone claims there was a different way, they’re lying and they should be murdered by Zevran’s dagger. (Suggestion : watch GIF while listening to bootyzilla by Dan Farber)

I love him so much Dx I intended to romance Iron Bull but while flirting with everyone I possibly could he kinda chose Dorian for himself. I couldn't bring myself to take his choice away. They're really cute together and it makes me happy!

I had no idea about the appalling history of this painful device :(

https://www.thelily.com/women-behind-speculum-redesign-say-we-need-gynecological-tools-designed-by-people-with-vaginas/

Until that awkward moment when you become a statistic of loss of feeling.

piercings aren’t that bad tbh it’s only a little bit of pain for a life time of sexy

Start to Zelda ❤ I just want to colour her 😭❤

Super happy with my pretty male qunari Cetus 😍😍 Ahh I love him!

let’s stop seeing sex as the biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them

#limplettuce

Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

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Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO?? 

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Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

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Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

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Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

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Bro: so…how was narnia?

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Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

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Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

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Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS 

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Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

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Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

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Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

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Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

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Bro: aw fuck

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl! 

Me: no thats okay-

Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???