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Preview:

The first place Once-ler tried his luck was the city of North Nitch where the biggest businesses were. It was a city of rainbow, sleek buildings twisted into swirly shapes and blinking lights, filled with the latest technology, including traffic lights with seven colors instead of three. He lost track of how many times he almost got run over in traffic trying to understand what they were supposed to mean.

O'Hare's Business and Innovation Center was the biggest, sleekest, twistiest building where he made an appointment to pitch his product. He rode an elevator up to the hundredth floor at the top of the building where helicopters flew so close to the window it looked like he could touch them. The O'Hares were a famous line of CEOs who ran all the major companies in every country.

Once-ler pulled his guitar from his back, mentally going over the pitch he'd carefully prepared for the team of salesmen. He took a deep breath, and began:

"The great is Thneed… I mean, the Thneed is good," he missed a note, completely forgetting how to sing in anapestic tetrameter.

READ THE REST ON AO3!

Join me as I post an actually finished rewrite of this entire movie! Extra plot twists, foreshadowing, and embellishments, since I did multiple drafts! Nobody ever finished a full rewrite before, so I did it myself.

Reminder that Chapter 9 is up

While I like the concept of Once-ler having a mean, selfish family that shows why he turned out the way he did, I'm going to make it clear that listening to them and destroying everything was his own choice.

EXCERPT

It was unsettling how much having his family move in made Once-ler's life feel exactly as it had before.

Somehow they still managed to make him feel like the one imposing, despite them being in his house. It wasn't long till his closets were full of their clothes and shoes, and his ice box with things like "Brett's pickles, don't touch." "Gizette's hot sauce. No Oncies allowed" or "CHET ONLY" signs on the orange juice. Yuck. Once-ler patiently pushed the orange juice aside to fit eggs and milk for his pancake batter.

Since the time he'd seen them, Gizette had taken up soccer and now kept her equipment thrown across his lawn. It appeared she'd gotten her glasses somehow, glittery pink frames that she left laying around and never wore. Brett and Chet brought parts of motorbikes they fiddled around with, that Once-ler never saw in the long grass before they tripped him. His Ma seemed to have gotten even more knickknacks, clothes, and yarn than ever for someone who always complained about having no money.

However, he didn't know if he should complain because of how much she helped with the company. In fact, she helped a little too much, staying up all night on the phone, networking, negotiating, planning ads, and scheduling meetings for him to attend. She seemed to have become an expert manager overnight.

"Didn't you know I got a degree in business when I was in my early twenties?" she told him. "I used to help yer dad back when he was first startin' his wood cuttin’ business." Once-ler had not. She had never mentioned having any helpful skills up till this point.

Some of her ideas were better than others. Once-ler did appreciate the plans to expand the market, like with the promotions she took charge of. He liked the new top hat she picked out for him, to make him look like a proper CEO. And thanks to her fundraising efforts, the blueprints for his factory were becoming a brick and mortar reality atop the nearest hill beyond his window.

However, when it came to her suggestion about chopping down the trees to gather the leaves faster for their expanding customer base, Once-ler was annoyed.

"No. Truffula Trees take a hundred years to grow back, so that's not a good business strategy. Why don't we just use ladders?"

“Well, that’s pretty demanding of you,” said his Ma. “You make us move out here to help you, and won’t even provide the proper accommodations. Brett fell off one of those dangerous old ladders the other day, and got a big purple bruise on his nose. It’s not funny, don’t laugh. You gotta learn about bein’ a decent boss.”

Once-ler’s Ma’s opinion of a good boss seemed to be one that gave her whatever she wanted. Well, why did he have to give his family whatever they wanted all the time? His stubbornness was, indeed, the last thing still keeping him from getting out his ax and being done with it. The ladders and picker really were a pain. It would be easier to just yell “Timber!” and harvest a whole head of leaves from a fallen trunk, but he didn't want to give his family the satisfaction.

Oh, and there was his promise to the Lorax too.

Chapter 4 of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite is up on AO3

Read here: Link

Blurb: Magnifico kept his shoulders back and head held high as he stepped through his castle’s arched entranceway, into the grand, circular courtyard’s expanse, onto the stage where he’d face his hardest task as king: choosing one person’s deepest desire out of the thousands of tear-wet, expectant faces peering back up at him.

He announced himself to the sea of breathless souls by casting spells with sweeping gestures. With each wave of a hand, radiant, variegated star showers unfurled through the air that transformed into delicate butterflies, and gasps of awe rippled through the courtyard as they left trails of sparkling hope behind them that rained down gently, in the king’s attempt to raise spirits before he would, inevitably, leave some of them broken-hearted, their sobs destined to disturb his dreams for years to come.

Magnifico’s voice, amplified by a spell, echoed across the courtyard. “My dear subjects.” He raised his arms as if to embrace. “On this enchanting night, as the stars illuminate our beloved kingdom, it is not only good to see you, but also an honour to be seen by you. I am deeply moved by the sight of all of you gathered here. Your presence brings warmth to my heart, and a profound sense of gratitude. In your faces, I find the strength and resilience that define our people, and it is your unwavering spirit that guides me in all I do."

Cheers rose to a crescendo, and tears glistened in the eyes of each person as they applauded the king who had brought them peace for nearly two decades.

Magnifico’s gaze shifted to his wife, who had just taken her place on the mainstage, and brought Asha with her as instructed. He gratefully nodded toward her, then turned back to the crowd. 

“Now, we shall begin with a matter that concerns the heart and soul of our kingdom. We have two new citizens ready to give their wishes. Helena, Esteban, you are going to be very happy here, I promise you.” He extended a hand to welcome his new subjects who’d sailed from across the sea onto the stage. 

The couple, still so young as to be untarnished by the joys and trials of parenthood, climbed the stairs to the stage. Magnifico looked into the eyes of the future of Rosas, and took the young woman’s hand into his own first.

“Now make a wish, and hold it in your heart.”

The woman closed her eyes, then opened her hand in the sorcerer’s, so they both began to glow. Her breathing relaxed as a terrible weight evaporated from her consciousness, and her wish materialised in her palm in the form of a glowing orb.

Her husband did the same in Magnifico’s other hand.

The king swept both wishes toward his chest. “It unburdens the soul, does it not?” Then he raised his arms so the wishes ascended into the sky, where they floated to join the others at the top of his tower. He smiled upon the husband and wife. “Perhaps I will stand here and make them realities one day.”

The man and woman smiled, and left the stage with a new spring in their steps, as if lighter than before.

Once again, Magnifico turned toward the place Amaya sat, and searched for signs on the face of the young woman next to her of understanding or empathy. Surely she’d grasped the weight of his ceremonial words, and the sacrifices they represented. But the young woman’s eyes were clouded, and her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her garment. She looked unmoved and unchanged.

Magnifico exhaled sharply, then turned back to his audience. "Thank you for your applause. Tonight, it brings me great joy to welcome these two new souls into our realm. They have passed through my Eclipse Enclosure, a barrier few are granted to cross. This shield is also a testament to the trust I place in those who enter. Not everyone finds their way through my curtain of star silt, yet here they stand, embraced by the safety I've woven. May their presence enrich our land as we share in the journey ahead."

The king waited as a roar of applause rose and fell, and he knew this was the real moment everyone had been waiting for. He released a final cascade of light from his fingertips that arced across the heavens in a concluding streak. “Now then, who is ready to have their wish granted?”

The crowd’s thunderous reaction was like a storm breaking out, as each person brought to mind their unique wish for a brighter dawn, and Magnifico knew that if witnessing this collective flame, igniting every heart, not solely your own, was not enough to stir someone, they must be beyond redemption in their selfishness.

For the last month, the king had sweated blood and tears discerning which wish he should choose, and deciding was no easier a task than it was any other ceremony. The wish had to be something genuinely harmless, yet selfless enough to make Rosas a better place. Wishes like this were surprisingly few and far between, as most people were not selfless, or wanted to twist fate too drastically. When he came across one that was selfless, but too drastic, his eyes often overflowed with sorrow at a young girl watching her mother die from illness, or a farmer whose crop had failed, who had lost everything he loved. 

“It has been a challenge for me to make a final decision today,” he said without betraying emotion, “And it is with clarity and an open heart full of love that I grant today’s wish to someone who has very patiently waited long enough.”

Eyes were wide, breaths were bated, and the courtyard was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“Sania Osman,” said Magnifico. “Step forward now.”

There were gasps and murmurs, and the crowd slowly parted to reveal a young lass with burning joy on her face. 

“Is it really me?” She came forward, swaying as if she would faint. “What have I done to deserve it? Can this actually be?” She was helped onto the stage by those around her when she threatened to fall off her feet.

Magnifico outstretched an arm to help her up. “I mean it when I say, it truly is my great pleasure to grant your heart’s desire, to sew the most beautiful dresses in all the land. It is a rare and noble heart that seeks to bring beauty and joy to others with such selfless devotion."

In the background, Asha was clenching her fists as if ready to throw a fit.

“Never, ever get your hopes up.” A sarcastic whisper came from a clique of teenagers lounging at the courtyard’s side. Their whispers and stifled laughs sliced through the solemn silence, drawing disapproving glances. To crown it all, one of them wiped his nose disrespectfully on his sleeve in front of everyone.

Finish reading here: Link

which movie you think was wasted the most

The Lorax(2012) or Wish(2023)

also explain why

Great question! We've actually been really into rewriting both of these at the same time and see a lot of parallels. These two movies both have extremely sympathetic villains and good guys who seem too mean/bratty. Both movies tend to split up the narratives with too many unnecessary characters at the expense of the interesting ones, and both have a lot of plot holes. Right now I'm having fun releasing the Lorax Rewrite, but I'm also very into working on the first draft of the Wish Rewrite. There's so much lore, character development, and moral themes to fill in with both of them. Each rewrite is a unique, interesting experience, and I get really into whatever I'm working on in the moment!

Chapter 12

Once-ler turns evil. Gets dark at the end. Read the whole thing on Ao3. Excerpt:

It was nice when he could get a second guitar without even thinking about it. Perhaps even nicer than it would have been to someone who didn't have heartbreaking memories of always being told his parents couldn't afford a good one for him. After all, hadn't it been just the other day he'd asked for one on his eighth birthday in front of the music store window and gotten tears in his eyes when his dad told him no?

He didn't have any memories of clothes-shopping as a child either. All he'd gotten was hand-me-downs for short people from his church's charity drives. Surely other people had always gotten measured at tailors to get jackets and trousers of the highest quality to fit them perfectly. This, of course, justified the exorbitant bill when he bought a new designer wardrobe complete with extra tall top hats in his favorite black and bright green colors.

It turned out, the world was full of things he'd never been able to appreciate before he'd had money:

Clothes, drinks, cars, trips, events. There were so many more opportunities when you weren't just a poor helpless urchin…

He would never go back to being poor. Never. He was even worse than his Ma, after a short time.

"Oncie, don't ya think maybe we could take a day off to have a family picnic and celebrate the end of summer like in the old days?" she said to him one day.

Once-ler looked up from the photos he was studying for a new billboard advertisement. He'd almost settled on what he thought was a charismatic picture of himself with his arms spread wide and an eye-popping grin on his face, though Brett had remarked it made him look rather possessed.

"Ha!" He slammed down the photos. "You mean the old days when we were poor and miserable? Why don't we take the whole week off and have a real party? Or better yet, a month-long tropical vacation?"

His Ma blinked. "Sounds real nice, honey, but who's gonna run the company? Didn't you just get back from a cruise? Ain't ya gettin' just a little too extravagant these days?"

"Who cares? I'm rich! We got a million employees now. Besides I deserve it cuz of all the sufferin' I went through before."

This excuse got less impressive by the day as Once-ler's new luxuries quickly outweighed any misery he'd previously endured. His identity as a lower class citizen faded even more quickly from his own memory and personality than it did into the past.

"I'm so glad that in the last year I was finally able to discover the real me," was something he'd told everyone in his family more than once since they'd returned. It never occurred to him that what he meant was: "I'm so glad I finally have money to do whatever I want without any consequences."

***

2nd excerpt:

"I just wanted to tell you, the Barbaloots are dying."

Something got through the iron-clad self absorption that had enclosed Once-ler for the last few months. He was surrounded by terrible people all the time now, but when harm fell upon innocent creatures, it was different. He remembered the little Barbaloot that had given him a hug after the fiasco in the river.

"What do you mean dying? How can they be… Surely they're not actually dying ?"

"There was something in the water that made 'em sick. Something from your factory that set in quick. It's making 'em not move and lay around. And some of 'em…" There were tears in the Lorax's eyes. "Some of 'em ain't gettin' up from the ground."

READ THE FULL THING ON AO3!!!

Last chapter of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite up today!!!!!!

Guys!!!!!! The last chapter of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite is up today!!! Read here: Link

This rewrite was so much fun! It was especially pressing for me since we can all agree Magnifico deserved better! Haha. It's a good thing we can always rewrite these things if we need to, and have a lot of fun doing it, too! Thanks to everyone who read this novelization/rewrite to the end! Link

Excerpt: Chapter Ten: Rosas Restored

Magnifico awoke on top of his tower.

The hopeful hum of the wishes had returned.

He sat up on the stone cold floor, and stared at them floating in the dawn with utter reverence for so long he almost forgot his kingdom was still in ruins.

He reached out to let one land on a finger. “How glorious.” 

The skies above told him two days had passed since he'd entered the black hole. 

He had so much time before him now.

Magnifico got to his feet, and walked out onto the edge of a platform. He looked down upon his kingdom of sticky rubble and wreck. “I have a great deal of amends to make,” he sighed as he bowed his head. "And I do not blame my people if they do not forgive me after this." 

The first thing he did was to snap his dark staff in two, and toss it over the tower's side into the sea. He picked up his old, less potent sceptre and used it to close up his tower again, its spiked platforms folding in from their star shape back into a dome that protected the wishes once more. Then he went down from his tower, out into the streets where he used it to stop the rhinoceros still barreling around. He shrunk the animal down to the size of a mouse, and gave it to a little girl skipping past to keep as a pet, and she was too overjoyed to be scared of him when he handed it to her.

“Why bless my soul! It’s Magnifico,” said a peasant woman when she saw him strolling around the town, putting things back in order. 

“It is I!” he said as he shot down the dragon with a fiery arrow from his scepter, that crashed down into the forest, and he looked so disarmingly cheerful that a grin nearly escaped her as she took in his metamorphosis, and everyone wondered what had come over him a second time.

Magnifico was in such high spirits that if he were wearing a crown and it was knocked off his head by the wind, he'd have been too cheerful to notice and gone right on without it.

Next he sealed up the tears in the earth, then herded the stampede of unicorns into a gated pasture to give to Farmer Finnegan as an apology for destroying his other livelihood, after which he turned to the dark castle he’d grown out of the ground and shrunk it into a merry go round for children to ride in the middle of his courtyard. He found that everything could be reshaped into something joyful.

“Good morning sir!” he said to the baker as he put his bakery back in order with a few zaps. “Such a fine craft you’ve perfected. I have always held it in high regard."

Once all his paradoxes and anomalies had been sorted out with some serious conundrum-solving that left his head in a guddle, and he was sure each of his subjects were as safe as could be, he went down to the edge of the forest where he found Asha and Star Boy bouncing up and down on a discarded trampoline in the shade of the trees, and walked up to them. 

The pale white wand in Asha's hand had been mended, and she held it carelessly above her head as she bounced, a few sparks leaking out its end that she didn't even notice. 

"A fine day to you!" Magnifico called to them, and their mouths fell open at the sight of him. They ceased bouncing. "What have we here, my dears? Let's have a look." He approached them with a smile on his face.

Asha's face scrunched up into the same one she'd made when her Saba's wish had been yanked from her days earlier. “Go away," she told the king. "Everyone was a lot better off without you. Do you think anyone is going to listen to a big stupid-head when they could listen to me? People just have to believe in themselves to make their dreams come true. You just have to follow your heart, and anything is possible. All it takes is a little faith and a wish upon a star.”

“Enough of these idiotic phrases.” Magnifico plucked the mended wand from her hand, and snapped it in two with a satisfying crunch. 

Asha's face went pale, and her jaw nearly hit the ground.

"Asha, it seems you’ve finally earned yourself a proper sentence," he said, and raised his sceptre, but Star Boy was ready, and the fire he shot from his palms collided with Magnifico's spell. 

But this time, the fire was no match for the white light bursting from the king's sceptre, and the star was not prepared to be hurled backward into the trees like a worthless gnat. 

Star Boy emerged from the prickly plants with the look of a crumpled fly, his hair, full of prickers, sticking up as if he'd been electrocuted. He staggered forward, too dizzy to walk straight, and cried, "The earth's a mess, there's no more delight, I'm done with this, time to take flight." He shook his hair back to normal as he leapt into the air, and a suitcase materialised in his hand. "I've had my fill, this game's a bore, I can't take humans anymore. I'm packing my bags, going off with a zoom, no more human games, I'll return to the moon."

"Wait!" called Asha as Star Boy disappeared in a streak of light like a comet, right after which Magnifico sealed up the Eclipse Enclosure behind him with his sceptre, stronger and more secure than ever, ensuring he could never breach the realm again.

Asha's lip trembled as she watched.

Magnifico turned to her. "For your insolence, you will tend the chickens kept by your people day after day, from sunrise to sunset. No magic, no shortcuts. You will protect them and learn to do some good for society." And with a flash, he transported her back to the Hamlet, where she materialised surrounded by chickens inside a run closed off with barbed wire, outside which she could not step foot without getting a zap.

From then on, Asha had no choice but to follow the chickens, feed them, sweep up their dirty hay, and gather their eggs, all to the tune of relentless clucking. With no escape, she slowly, but eventually learned to focus on her tasks until she found a strange rhythm in the routine that wasn't quite pleasure, though she was no longer restless and wishful.

The same night she received her sentence, Magnifico gathered his guards into a search party to find Amaya, who had gone into hiding after his disappearance. 

"I fear she is like a serpent in tall grass, watching and waiting to strike," he told his guards. "She must be found and captured at once."

It was only midnight when his guards returned with his wife, who had been hiding out in a cave in the forest.

"Magnifico, I was possessed," she tried to lie as the guards dragged her off to the dungeons. "I do not know what came over me. It was the dark magic, I swear it was." Her protests faded as she was marched down the dark lower stairwell out of sight. Finish reading: Link

Chapter 12

Once-ler turns evil. Gets dark at the end. Read the whole thing on Ao3. Excerpt:

It was nice when he could get a second guitar without even thinking about it. Perhaps even nicer than it would have been to someone who didn't have heartbreaking memories of always being told his parents couldn't afford a good one for him. After all, hadn't it been just the other day he'd asked for one on his eighth birthday in front of the music store window and gotten tears in his eyes when his dad told him no?

He didn't have any memories of clothes-shopping as a child either. All he'd gotten was hand-me-downs for short people from his church's charity drives. Surely other people had always gotten measured at tailors to get jackets and trousers of the highest quality to fit them perfectly. This, of course, justified the exorbitant bill when he bought a new designer wardrobe complete with extra tall top hats in his favorite black and bright green colors.

It turned out, the world was full of things he'd never been able to appreciate before he'd had money:

Clothes, drinks, cars, trips, events. There were so many more opportunities when you weren't just a poor helpless urchin…

He would never go back to being poor. Never. He was even worse than his Ma, after a short time.

"Oncie, don't ya think maybe we could take a day off to have a family picnic and celebrate the end of summer like in the old days?" she said to him one day.

Once-ler looked up from the photos he was studying for a new billboard advertisement. He'd almost settled on what he thought was a charismatic picture of himself with his arms spread wide and an eye-popping grin on his face, though Brett had remarked it made him look rather possessed.

"Ha!" He slammed down the photos. "You mean the old days when we were poor and miserable? Why don't we take the whole week off and have a real party? Or better yet, a month-long tropical vacation?"

His Ma blinked. "Sounds real nice, honey, but who's gonna run the company? Didn't you just get back from a cruise? Ain't ya gettin' just a little too extravagant these days?"

"Who cares? I'm rich! We got a million employees now. Besides I deserve it cuz of all the sufferin' I went through before."

This excuse got less impressive by the day as Once-ler's new luxuries quickly outweighed any misery he'd previously endured. His identity as a lower class citizen faded even more quickly from his own memory and personality than it did into the past.

"I'm so glad that in the last year I was finally able to discover the real me," was something he'd told everyone in his family more than once since they'd returned. It never occurred to him that what he meant was: "I'm so glad I finally have money to do whatever I want without any consequences."

***

2nd excerpt:

"I just wanted to tell you, the Barbaloots are dying."

Something got through the iron-clad self absorption that had enclosed Once-ler for the last few months. He was surrounded by terrible people all the time now, but when harm fell upon innocent creatures, it was different. He remembered the little Barbaloot that had given him a hug after the fiasco in the river.

"What do you mean dying? How can they be… Surely they're not actually dying ?"

"There was something in the water that made 'em sick. Something from your factory that set in quick. It's making 'em not move and lay around. And some of 'em…" There were tears in the Lorax's eyes. "Some of 'em ain't gettin' up from the ground."

READ THE FULL THING ON AO3!!!

Hooray!

Thanks for 20 kudos on my Lorax Rewrite so far. That's the most I've ever gotten on Ao3, since this is the first fic I've actually tried to promote.

I'm thinking of officially calling our series of movie rewrites "Untwisted Tales" as a play on Disney's "Twisted Tale" novels. It's because we untwist bad storytelling and fix all the plot holes! (And often make the villains the good guys if they should have been, like King Magnifico).

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