@whateverthefuckyouwantiguess

Ayo are you stuck in shadow banned land or something? Every time you tag me I never get the notification even though I’ve got it set so they should come up 😭

BRO IVE BEEN SHADOW BANNED FOR LIKE 8 MONTHS HELP

The world is gonna be a tough place for you if you let your sexuality control your personality.

Sigh… I know 😔

Chapter 2: Situations

Chris Redfield x Male reader

Summary: Travelings a bitch, that’s it.

ou’ve always hated the amount of people going to travel. So much people in clusters was so overwhelming.

 You sighed angrily as you went up to one of the employees. “Uh” you pulled out your old badge “Y/n L/n, Jill Valentine said I was bought a ticket.” The lady looks on her computer nodding. “Here you are, your free to go.” You give her a smile as you place your luggage down.

The sun was setting giving the sky a pretty orange hue. You yawn as you begin to sleep in your chair Getting your well deserved nap. You awake to someone shaking your shoulder. One of the workers. “You’re gonna miss your flight sir.” They smile as you yawn walking to the plane. 

Everyone boards the plane huddled together, yelling and chatter was all around. Overstimulation to say the least. You let out a relaxed sigh. Putting your headphones on listening to music. 

You begin to doze off again as sleep takes you with a soft yet firm grasp. A few hours later you slowly open your eyes to a dark sky. You looked at your phone as you changed your time zone. “12 am…” you mutter sleepily. You should be there in a little. You looked down at all the lights. America. You scoff. 

The attendant walks down the aisle and hands you a bowl. Tomato soup, simple yet delicious. You calmly sipped it as the flight began to end. You feel the plane come to a halt as you stand up. You grab your luggage getting in line. 

You take a look around everything it was pitch black. You hear your burner ringing as you put it up to your ear. “Hey sir where are you?” You hear Jill ask. “Landing now.” You say with a loud yawn. “Keys are under the welcome mat, sending you the whereabouts.” You give a hum of approval as you hang up. You walk to the street as a car pulls up. 

“Y/n L/n right?” The man asks in the car you nod. “I’m here to take you to your house S.T.A.R.S sent me.” He shows a badge as you get in. You both drive in silence as you enjoy the quietness of the mid-west. 

You pull up to a nice house. Medium sized, very pretty and nicely decorated. He smiles at you as you wave goodbye. You grab your key going inside. Everything had already been set up. You threw your luggage on the couch immediately heading to your bedroom with your burner. 

You send Jill a text letting her know your there safe. She begins to call you as you answer. “Hey Jill.” You groan. “Hey sir, nice to see you. Just wanted to make sure your actually there and didn’t get kidnapped.” You quirk an eyebrow giving an annoyed look “mhm, hows everything going so far.” “Situations after situation.”  She rubs her head.

 “You look really tired I’ll call you tomorrow at about…. How about 3:00 pm? If you wake up earlier and are well rested just come down to the station.” You nod as you begin to doze off on call. She smiles as she waves goodbye hanging up. You plug the phone in, immediately falling asleep.

This was gonna be ‘fun’.

@whateverthefuckyouwantiguess (simple chapter please reblog and like❤️

IM GLAD YOUR WRITING AGAIN YOU SEXY BEAST ❤️❤️❤️

Anyways König🙌

THE COD MALEWIFE

♡ random headcanons ♡

☆ starring ☆

♡ könig aka the most babygirl of them all ♡

Tw: mentions of anxiety, weight and mature language. Other than that pure fluff

A/N: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU DON'T GET IT HOW MUCH THIS MAN IS STARTING TO GROW ON ME. THIS FUCKING TALL ASS BITCH AND THE OTHER GIANT JACK SKELLIGNTON FUCKER ARE THE BAIN OF MY EXISTENCE. I needed to do write for him, you can blame it on tiktok and it's sinful content and @bloodlst for fueling my obsession

He knows a lot of cool fidgeting tricks with pencils or knives because he needs to keep his hands busy when he's nervous.

It's almost like a security blanket for him when he's around too many people, he carries something he can fidget with and uses it

I can't stress this enough but tall people have back pains and oh boy if könig is tall

He is always cranky in the morning because of it and because he loves to just sleep in the weirdest fucking positions ever

Which is funny cause otherwise his postures is always very straight and stiff, it just that when he sleeps he gets all weird

About that, he hates, absolutely despises, the beds they have during missions

THEY'RE TOO SMALL OKAY? AND TOO THIN AND HE CAN'T FUCKING REST WELL AT ALL

which makes me absolutely sure he downs coffee likes it's fucking water

His breakfast is basically a big ass mug of coffee first and then some herbal or fruity tea or maybe some juice

He loves sweets but has a weirdly good self control

He just likes the idea of savouring things rather than eating all at once bc they're so good

Besides I just know he has also a tendency to gain weight more easily than the others

He just tries to be as healthy and balanced with things as much possible bro

The only times he doesn't pays much attention to what he eats is around the holidays or when he gets to see his family

Which always ends up in him putting some weight but he doesn't cares that much, he always gets in shape before getting back to work

He loves to read, he carries a book everywhere he goes and ITS THAT TYPE OF PERSON WHO CAN'T FUCKING HIDE THEIR REACTION TO WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE STORY

You can actively see this unit of a man closing the book and like getting up and walking away two steps just to turn around and keep reading

HE CAN'T HANDLE THE DRAMA OKAY? LEAVE HIM ALONE

He does not look his age at all. Either bc of how youthful he acts or bc he looks really young no one has ever guessed his age and it's something he find quite funny so he just let people try to figure it out on their own

People are often really mean with him and sometimes really harsh. He knows they're just playing around and they mess up with everyone like that but he gets genuinely hurt sometimes

No one notices cause he always takes it like a champ tho

I feel like ghost kind of gets annoyed at him. Not for the reason you may think

He's just looks always so serene and at peace, but most importantly happy and it's something ghost can't comprehend given what they do for a living

Key word is looks

König is not a sad person by default and he recovers pretty quickly for certain things but he always carries around a weight of guilt and self doubt that is unbearable sometimes

Much like ghost, this man is kind of scare of himself really

He always worries about ending up being some sort of psycho who has no regards towards human lives

He gets so carried away when he's on the mission and often does not realise how efficient and kind of brutal he can get

He is absolutely scared of ghost. Everytime he is in the same room with him he just gets so nervous he ends up embarrassing himself more than once

Look, I may be projecting onto him but I KNOW THIS MAN AND HE HAS HIS JAW FUCKED UP FROM CLENCHING IT TOO MUCH

like I have anxiety and my jaw is dislocated cause ever since I was a kid I was always clenching my jaw while sleeping or unconsciously while going about my day so I just know that someone like him has the same problem

He has definitely popped his jaw and hurted his ear more than once and has ADORABLE CROOKED TEETH CAUSE I DO AND I WANT HIM TOO OKAY?

he is really good at signing but everyone thinks he's not because the few times he has tried to sing in front of someone he fucked up from being too nervous

He knows how to play piano. As matter of fact he has one at home

Prefers wine over beer or cocktails but has a weird ass liking for strong liquors

And BTW he is annoyingly hard to get drunk, this man could get down shot after shot and still be as lucid as ever

Which soap found out by embarrassing himself. König ended up trying to take care for him the whole night cause he felt guilty

When he gets angry is not a pretty scene. He's always so jolly and easy going even if you're rude to him so is hard for him to get angry, but when he snaps this man is not playing around

Smells of fresh laundry and lemon perfume

He is still pretty mad about not being able to be a sniper. Specially because he's good at his job, he knows he is but no one believed in him and his abilities bc of his height and his anxiety

When he was younger everyone always used to talk over him because he had difficulty with speech due to his anxiety

He used to get so frustrated to the point of crying and since no one ever had the patience to listen to him he just used to write on notebooks all the things no one ever wanted to hear

He still does it and has like a lot of diaries filled with rants, thoughts, jokes ecc

When he was younger he used to listen to the FILTHIEST SONGS not knowing what they were about because he didn't understand English well

When he's nervous his accent slips a little bit

He writes letters to his loved ones and specially his s/o when his away from home and has the prettiest handwriting ever

little do they know i didnt watch morbius i only watched the moist meter👺

alright i’ll bite. what is morbious

Chapter 6: Good To See You

Chris Redfield x Male reader

summary: You guys figure out that Jill’s alive! Not in the way you guys expected though. Oh and Excella’s there 😃.

It was late, very late. The shiny light of the moon being your only guide. Sheva was ahead of you and Chris as you guys walked together. “How’s Claire?” You asked engaging in a bit of small talk. 

“Oh, she’s alright. I think, you know how she is.” You nod. Claire usually always kept to herself. Any pain she dealt with she dealt with herself. “You know Chris, Wesker used to be a good guy.” He nodded as he locked eyes with you. “Umbrella fucked him up, he never had control all his life now he finally has it and is utilizing it not the way we want. The world wants.” 

He gives nod of approval “Me and Wesker I thought, had a great relationship. I looked up to him as I looked up to you. Of course that was short lived.” He stops in his tracks as you look behind you. “I miss the old times.” You nod as you give him a sad look. 

“Is it my fault?” He asks with a genuine look. You envelope him in a soft hug. “Not at all Chris not at all.” Sheva calls out as you guys run to her. You all reach two grand doors. All of a sudden you guys get rushed seeing a black blur go by you. Your eyes go wide as you see something tackling Chris. “Well isn’t this just one big family reunion.” He smiles. Excella stands there with admiration on her face as she gawks at Wesker.

“Wesker, I would say it’s good to see you but you know I’ve never been a liar.” You say with a grin as you lazily flail your gun around. “Mutual.” He says as you give him a certain look. Chris stands back up as wesker calls the mysterious cloaked individual back. 

Chris began to get mad as he started to yell at Wesker. “You killed Jill!!” Than it clicked “You worked on his fighting skills but you certainly didn’t work on his mental state now did you?” You growled at Wesker “Dont talk to him like that you fucking dick.” You clench your fists as he pulls down the hood revealing Jill.

Sheva ready’s up her fists as Chris try’s to talk to her. “It’s futile Chris. She’s under my control now.” She rushes at Chris as he begins to fight her off. You yank Jill’s suit as you grasp onto her yanking her arms back. 

“Come on Jill it’s us!” Chris shouts desperately. She begins to stop shaking “C-Chris.” You look over to see Wesker pick up a device. He presses it as it sends a shock through Jill motivating her to finish the job. 

She breaks out your grasp now attacking you. You begin dodging her attacks not wanting to hurt her. “Jill, Jill Valentine I know your still in there you’ve gotta fight it.” She pauses for a moment as her eyes give her usual look to you. 

It took awhile surely. Fighting and dodging over and over you knew she was still In there. She begins to beat up Chris. You rush in punching her dead in her face sending her into the floor. 

You grab her face squeezing it to make her look at you as she looks you dead in your frustrated eyes.

Wesker groans in annoyance as she begins to revert back to her old self. Can’t have that happening.

He sets the control to max as she begins to writhe in pain on the floor. “Fuck.” You state bluntly as you get on your knees holding her as she thrashes.

“Now if you excuse us we have a virus to attend to.” They lock the doors as you guys try to figure out what to do. “Maybe it’s the red thing on her chest.” Chris states, he looks at you for the answer. “Chris, your the captain come on do what you thinks right!” You shout holding Jill trying to calm her. 

Jill continues to scream in pain as Chris and Sheva look at each other. They both begin to pull on the jewel as it starts to come out. Jill cries in pain as you look at her with pure and utter pity. “Almost done Jill hold on for us.” You say into her ear as they finally rip the jewel out. Her screams come to a halt as she hesitantly opens her eyes.

“Sheva call this in, Chris start to look for maybe a soft spot on the door or a breach in the system.” They both nod as you hold Jill in your arms calming her. You wipe her tears as you give her a soft smile. “D-don’t you look dashing.” She laughs hoarsely looking up and down as she was trying to pull herself up. “I know right.” She takes a deep breath as she pulls herself up. 

You rub her back as she begins to catch her breath. “Just informed them sir!” Sheva shouts you nod as Chris still works on finding a spot. Finally he figured something out apparently as the door unlocks. 

“Come on sir!” Chris shouts as they both start running. You smile at Jill. “You know how to reach me stay safe.” You hand (stable) Jill a few guns and ammo to protect herself. You wave as she salutes you. 

Wesker watches from the cameras in pure interest. He pulls away as he rolls his sleeves up. “Seems like they’re not giving up. Couldn’t say I didn’t guess, they didn’t seem like the type to give up. Pitiful truly, pitiful I have to put an end to they’re pathetic lives. Is what i would say if I cared.” Wesker laughed to himself as Excella prepared another shot.

I suck at writing and suck at life, can’t pick a struggle 😔🙌 @whateverthefuckyouwantiguess @allen-444

IMMA FIGHT TUMBLR TO GET YOU OUT OF THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM

Thank you 🛐🛐🛐

I wanna make an oc story so bad should I? And who else should I ask other than my dear Mish😍

@whateverthefuckyouwantiguess

anytime baby

Reblog if I can go on your page and write stupid things in your ask box whenever I'd like to.

RE Boys Coming Home to a Sleeping S/O

This has been a dead ass account, with the last post being literal months old now and about a whole different fandom. I recently got into Resident Evil (Thanks DBD for adding my new husband Wesker) and while my ass is struggling to understand the lore outside the basics, I’m trying and I’m also gonna write these characters anyways. Are they going to be OOC? Probably. But take some of the RE boys coming home to a sleeping S/O.

if there's a guy you want not in here, it's likely because I know so little of him. I'm still getting into the series (I'm only up to RE5 as of now).

GN!Reader, Fluff, Not at all edited, Likely OOC portrayals

Characters: Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield, Leon S. Kennedy, Carlos Oliveira

ALBERT WESKER

It’s a common sight for Wesker to come home to you sleeping, considering he works late almost if not all nights. Hell, he’s surprised whenever you’re not sleeping by the time he returns home. 

If you’ve fallen asleep on the couch - either from watching TV or maybe even waiting for him to come home -, in the beginning of the relationship, he may just leave a blanket on you so you’re not cold, but further into the relationship, he’ll carry you back to the bedroom.

He’s not one for cuddling either, but he will occasionally spoon you. It won’t start out like that, however, it’s more of a subconscious thing he does while asleep next to you. He may fall asleep next to you, arms at his side (he goes to bed face up, the arms at the side makes him look like a robot), but you’ll wake up with one arm loosely hanging around your waist and his warmth comforting you from behind - if you wake up before him.

CHRIS REDFIELD

Another man who usually works late. Little too attached to his job, it may as well be his second partner - right after you, of course. 

He usually comes home to you getting ready for bed but sometimes, he’ll come home when you’re already in bed. Though he’d probably never admit it aloud, he does feel a little saddened he can’t chat with you when he comes home, but he’s also a patient and reasonable man, he knows it’d be ridiculous to request you stay up even later just so he can have a brief conversation with you.

He does his best in keeping quiet while getting ready for bed but by the time he adds his weight to the mattress, you’re already turning your head to greet him drowsily. He usually apologises with a quick peck on the lips. Immediately urges you to go back to bed as he shifts into his spot beside you.

He enjoys hugging you tightly more than spooning you, to be honest. He likes embracing you and keeping you close to his chest. But if you manage to sleep through the ruckus of him getting ready for bed, he’ll settle for spooning you.

LEON S. KENNEDY

Really only ever comes home late when out with friends or coming back from a mission. He has a small habit of uttering a tired, “I’m home” to a darkened house whenever you’ve already gone to bed. 

He’s usually exhausted by the time he comes home late and will immediately book it for the bedroom. He’ll crawl into bed and if you’re a light sleeper, you’ll wake up to Leon clinging to you from behind. He’ll apologise for waking you if you greet him. 

He’s got a deathgrip around your stomach as he nuzzles into your back. If he doesn’t, please spoon him. He adores it.

If he’s not tired, he still lays in bed with you, silently admiring you. Occasionally, he’ll brush a few strands of hair out of your face just to keep cherishing your features with a smile. After a few minutes, it gets him completely knocked out for the rest of the night.

CARLOS OLIVEIRA

(this mans last name is so impossible for me to type correctly half the time. curse you second "i")

The type to despise coming home late. He’s exhausted, with his work, his limbs are sore, and he doesn’t get to see you. So when he comes home to a dark house, he’s a little defeated. But hey, he gets to see you - you’d be sleeping, but it’s still you. 

He’s surprisingly stealthy in slipping into bed, so much so you get jumpscared awake by his touch. 

And he’s a cuddly bastard, immediately swinging his arms around you and pulling you back into him as he peppers the back of your ear and neck with soft kisses. He usually keeps you up with a small and whispered conversation, just to check in with you before letting you drift back off into a deep slumber. 

He’ll just nuzzle his face into the back of your neck and when his tight grip loosens just a smidge, you’ll know he’s passed out sleeping - if his snores didn’t alert you to that.

reblogs are greatly appreciated <3