And Since I Just Seem To Be Arbitrarily Posting Music Ya Dont Know ( Because I’m Lazy ) Here’s A

H.R. Giger. No Title, 21B. 1964.

Don’t ever cry for those who want to be cried for, for those who cry for themselves, only cry for those who are unable to do so.  You can apply this to any social situation of your choosing.

Concerning Lucifer part 1

Lucifer, latin for the morning star, venus, or simply light bringer, the enlightened one.  In pre Judaic times, Canaanite mythology, Lucifer, or Attar, as he’s referred as, attempted to claim the throne of Ba'al and, finding he was unable to do so, descended and ruled the underworld.  Our Judaeo-Christian version is about the same, in ours Lucifer thought God was treating humans as children and puppets and thought we could handle more, he also thought he could handle more and was being underutilized in heaven, and god and him had a war and you know the rest.

In the garden, he appears as a serpent, and tells Eve to eat from the “ tree of knowledge of good and evil “ which we all sort of assume is sex, and yeah, it is, but it has more undertones than that, anyways I digress.  He wanted humans, being godlike in the very nature of their creation, like lucifer, in gods image, thought they deserved to know more. 

If you actually read the bible, and take it literally ( it’s been proven atheists actually know the bible a large percentage more than devout christians, like the bible says, know thy enemy... ) then everything that makes humans, humans, is due to lucifers influence.  Our need to question, explore ( especially sexually ) our distaste for authority and our love of knowledge and of conquer.  Our innate need to scape the world in straight lines we can understand rather than letting the path wind as it may. 

All god did was make us, kick us out of his house, drowned us, turned us to salt, then said well you’re on your own now, and abandoned us.  In the book of Job God makes a bet with Satan, God being petty as he is says no no, people all love me, look at job, job praises me daily.  Satan says well thats just because you’re good to him, if you werent hed curse your name.  So god killed all of jobs livestock and crops, killed his wife and children and gave job painful blisters all over his body, and job still praises gods name.  God turns to satan and says ha ha poopyface, see, i win!  Poopyface.  and Satan presumably takes a sip of booze in silent horror and confusion and says yup, you win again, i guess...

Satan appeared to jesus when he was in the desert and said you know, ya dads gonna kill you, your friends betrayed you and i just wanted you to know, im not like, asking for your soul or anything.  And jesus was like fuck you satan my daddys the best, my daddies always right poopyface!  and satan shrugged and said like, the fuck is up with these people...can lead a horse to water I guess, then he presumably got drunk and had some kinky leatherclad fetish sex with someone. 

People are always hating on Satan, because they dont understand him, and nothing scares humans more than what they cant understand.

“ But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest? “ - Mark Twain

I don’t Glorify Drugs

I did/do drugs because I am now, and have always been bored, and lazy, seeking a universe other than my own.  When I was a child I was a very deep thinker, and was bored with the things people did around me with some exceptions of course.  Being a drug addict isnt cool, but its also not some thing to be demonized. 

All humans are drug addicts.  Maybe you cant put down your soda coffee and donuts, you’ll die of diabetes or colon cancer.  Maybe you cant stop excercizing and roid rage ya heart out or get balerina cant have my period skinny.  maybe youll get addicted to your own chemicals and base jump from shorter and shorter things.

When you’re a kid, a teenager its natural for people to want to do what theyre told not to, and even smarter kids, will be drawn to mind altering things as an experimental scientific sort of thing.  I will comment on drugs alot on this blog dont worry.

Drugs are cool when you’re 15, when youre 25, 35, 45, its either because you’re weak or you hate life enough to escape it any and every way you can ( like me, i wont turn down a free drug to this day ) and if its just you fine, do it, giggle, od, no one gives a shit youre not special im not special.  But dont do it if it ruins other lives, give the kids away, then die in a gutter, simple right? 

I’m lying, drugs are SO cool, its great being happy for 4-8 hours, then feel like shit the next day, then after alot of that, its so cool to be hot, and cold, and hot again, its awesome being constipated for 4 days then shitting nonstop for 6, its the COOLEST. 

Vicadin/whiskey dick is super fun, and then when ya coming off em its super fun to cum at basically the slightest touch, its just, the best of both worlds.  All that said I’m pro drug, do hallucinogens, expand your mind, its better for anxiety and depression than xanex, ask a neurologist.  We all die, what we learn, say, do, and think are all that matters, if drugs make you feel not like the asshole you are, do em, works for me.

#14 - Good 2 [1]

(Text Description - The comic is 5 panels. Normal is gazing through his window, holding his “world’s most normal robot” mug. Some pigeons are sat along the balcony rail outside. One particularly friendly birb coos. Normal takes a sip from his mug and replies “yes. Good.”)

(single page)

This was actually played on a kids guitar, with one of those cheap stretchy capos, it turned out well besides the usual shitty audio quality (again I suggest headphones), anyways, here’s me playing John Prine’s “ Hello in There “ Mistakes were made, i can live with them, Bob Dylan only ever did one take, why should I do more?

Your Addiction is Bullshit

I’ve quit more drugs than most of you have done, It’s all in your weak little mind.  Now dont get confused, I’m not belittling addicts, it’s a hard thing to deal with, but you can do it, and you can do it without other sad addicts and meetings and bullshit.  These are crutches that still keep whatever substance near and dear to your heart, sure you dont do it, but you talk about it each and every week, and then when you go back to it you wonder why.

Believe all the fairy tales you want, theres no such thing as a successful 12 step program, stop being a fuckin rube about it, I go days, weeks without this or that drug, sometimes its physical symptoms, thats just like having the flu, man up.  You’re stronger than any drug, or you’re not and it will kill you, you decide which its all within your mind, but stop, STOP being an annoying cunt about it, if everytime you open ya mouth you mention your recovery or whatever, just spike up, atleast youll shut the fuck up about it.

The first time I smoked crack I was like 14,we were doin it ALL weekend, none of us slept, and then I went to school monday.  I felt like shit for days, but I got over it, without any external influence what so ever, i could do it as a child, you can do it as a sentient adult, stop this nonesense. 

I know I sound mean, and i sound like all the ignorant people that havent been there, but I’m not mean, and i HAVE been there, half your addiction problem was people enabling and coddling you, you cant recover with more coddling, youre responsible, YOU, and only YOU can change it, collect all the dumb sobriety coins you want, theyre a nice little token of how youre wasting your life now instead of booze or heroin or, what the fuck ever.

Jesus doesnt love you, love yourself.  Hell if Jesus IS real he’s the one that let you get all fuckin smacked up in the first place, he was a bit of a wine drinker I’m sure he was just passed out.

Chi non beve in compagnia o e un ladro, e una spia, He who doesnt drink in company is either a thief or a spy

The Cemetery

My last post reminds me I never told you people that I worked in a cemetery as a teen, I remember the first body I buried i was maybe 13, 14 ( i worked under the table because i knew people there ) He was a suicide victim, 35 i think.  I stood at a distance during the funeral, picked up the plywood, took off the straps from lowering the coffin, etc. 

With modern machinery most is done with a backhoe, but you need to manually shovel the dirt between the vault and the ground, and etc.  so It’s raining out, and by the time i get there the hole is filled with water, i jump on the coffin and shovel dirt, i feel the coffin move beneath my feet, i float on this dead man and shovel dirt in cracks/ 

I remember after I went to the crematorium, which was a warehouse full of cardboard boxes, and drank coffee and what not, it being cold and rainy.  I remember shedding a single tear for the man I never met and moving on with my life.

After that it was childsplay, nothing in a box or in the ground was even human, but that one moment will stick with me forever, that and the smell of the crematorium, once you smell a burning human body I promise you you wont ever forget it. 

By 13 I had looked death in the face, and maybe it was traumatic by millennial standards but death has always been a part of life, and by 13 I knew someday id have some small funeral of people pretending to care and I’d be put in the boggy mud and forgotten forever more.  It has shaped my life in ways you’ll never understand sans the experience. 

There is no god, there is no redemption, there is here and now, and there is gone, and dont let any Babylonian babble sway you, when you’re standing on that floating coffin you know then and there, god is a lie and there is no redemption.  I think, in private, I cried for that strangers water laden corpse more than I did for any of my loved ones, I regret not remembering his name.