Wasted-life-musings - Musings Of A Wasted Life

I don’t Glorify Drugs

I did/do drugs because I am now, and have always been bored, and lazy, seeking a universe other than my own.  When I was a child I was a very deep thinker, and was bored with the things people did around me with some exceptions of course.  Being a drug addict isnt cool, but its also not some thing to be demonized. 

All humans are drug addicts.  Maybe you cant put down your soda coffee and donuts, you’ll die of diabetes or colon cancer.  Maybe you cant stop excercizing and roid rage ya heart out or get balerina cant have my period skinny.  maybe youll get addicted to your own chemicals and base jump from shorter and shorter things.

When you’re a kid, a teenager its natural for people to want to do what theyre told not to, and even smarter kids, will be drawn to mind altering things as an experimental scientific sort of thing.  I will comment on drugs alot on this blog dont worry.

Drugs are cool when you’re 15, when youre 25, 35, 45, its either because you’re weak or you hate life enough to escape it any and every way you can ( like me, i wont turn down a free drug to this day ) and if its just you fine, do it, giggle, od, no one gives a shit youre not special im not special.  But dont do it if it ruins other lives, give the kids away, then die in a gutter, simple right? 

I’m lying, drugs are SO cool, its great being happy for 4-8 hours, then feel like shit the next day, then after alot of that, its so cool to be hot, and cold, and hot again, its awesome being constipated for 4 days then shitting nonstop for 6, its the COOLEST. 

Vicadin/whiskey dick is super fun, and then when ya coming off em its super fun to cum at basically the slightest touch, its just, the best of both worlds.  All that said I’m pro drug, do hallucinogens, expand your mind, its better for anxiety and depression than xanex, ask a neurologist.  We all die, what we learn, say, do, and think are all that matters, if drugs make you feel not like the asshole you are, do em, works for me.

Heroin, Good for Colds!

Some of my Junkie friends have melted their minds so badly I don’t even know what the fuck they’re saying half the time, especially when typed.  I don’t mean spelling mistakes, i mean its like they have their own weird version of brain damaged english, they all seem to understand eachother, the rest of us are pretty much in the dark though. Here’s a real example:

“ docking it all day we gettin it in.... cant let them bring u down or they will alway feel important....im scared to run with this chick the past got me in totally diffrent mindset “ Sure those are all, words, they umm, sort of convey, something or rather.

And in typical histrionic needy junky fashion, they usually post about chicks/dudes not loving em, or how no one wants to hang out with them, woe is them, no one wants to hang out with you because you cant form a coherant sentence, you’re always stealing something or trying to borrow money, you turn every conversation into an excuse to cry about yourself, and you are literally walking hepatitis.  We’re SO gonna miss you guys when you OD, good thing you all manage to have like 3 kids you dont teach shit to before you kick the bucket, pass it forward...

Concerning Politics

One of my favorite books, “ No Longer Human “ by Osamu Dazai was written in 1930s Japan, during which his drinking buddy, Horiki, brought him to a secret communist meeting, thereafter horiki never showed up again, and he did it out of whatever reason, but he made a comment that the communist movement was mostly right, and so obvious it didnt merit discussion, much like debating 2+2 equaling 4, and thats where America is at, Trump supporters, are retards, people against trump, are retards for trying to sway the retards behind him, and i dont really give a shit what you think on the matter, if you can be sold so cheaply you should be counted a moron, regardless which side it is you defend, its simple 2+2 to anyone with a mind.

Nietzsche once said “ Distrust in all those whom the urge to punish is strong “ and youd be hard pressed to find a more true statement, not that im OVERLY intellectual but i have my moments, and the more you know the less you know, and if you think otherwise you dont know.  Not that im defending neo Nazis like trump but, as Nietzsche also says

“ the poison which weakens the weaker nature strengthens the stronger, and he doesn’t call it poison, either.  We’ve, since our inception as “culture(s) have backed one horse or another blindly, any real political mind, I think, will tell you theres no way to totally fix anything, light beats the dark, but dark beats the light as often, we are in a limbo of fates between the smug and the moronic and which prevails isnt a testament of right or wrong, but rather, which particular power can flex the most at any given point, everything you have thought, think, or will think is a lie and until you understand this basic fact, you will never understand anything at all...

I never could think of prostitutes as human beings or even as women. They seemed more like imbeciles or lunatics. But in their arms I felt absolute security. I could sleep soundly. It was pathetic how utterly devoid of greed they really were. And perhaps because they felt for me something like an affinity for their kind, these prostitutes always showed me a natural friendliness which never became oppressive. Friendliness with no ulterior motive, friendliness stripped of high pressure salesmanship, for someone who might never come again. Some nights I saw these imbecile, lunatic prostitutes with the halo of Mary. I went to them to escape from my dread of human beings, to seek a mere night of repose, but in the process of diverting myself with these 'kindred' prostitutes, I seem to have acquired before I was aware of it a certain offensive atmosphere which clung inseparably to me... I had, quite objectively speaking, passed through an apprenticeship in women at the hands of prostitutes, and I had of late become quite adept. The odor of ' lady killer ' had come to permeate me...I remembered now clumsily written letters from bar girls...with all of them I had been extremely negative and it had gone no further. But it was an undeniable fact, and not just some foolish delusion on my part, that there lingered about me an atmosphere which could send women into sentimental reveries. It caused me a bitterness akin to shame to have this pointed out by someone like Horiki; at the same time, I lost all interest in prostitutes

Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

Watching nazi shit lately, Anne frank made it til something like 3 weeks before the war ended, she and her sister died of typhoid, shall we then assume that despite good or bad, we are to make it right up until we may make it, and die short? Do we all simply live JUST to die? what is life, is life truly contingent on those around you that allow it?  Is life forever a witch hunt?

Are you only heard when some crazy force silences you?  if anne frank, despite her words that should have been heard, were ugly, would her diary sell as well?  Many many MANY deep thinking minds were destroyed in ww2,i find it strangely convenient that the stories that sell best are the ones with a good face that are edited well, are all stories contingent on how we sell them to the tribe of man?

What makes a story you want to read,is it the thoughts therein or is it how pretty the thoughts are worded, do the sounds need to come out of a face you somehow remotely relate to?  what IS it you consider depth, and more importantly WHY is it considered depth?  Have you any questions to ask?  Is the editor of the story really the one that makes ya dick hard/ginny tickle, do you even know what it IS that really tickles you? Questions Questions.

Shall it then forever be a battle of who has the prettiest words,or is it, supplementally the one who says the words closest to your own thoughts?  Do you strive to relate to people or do you strive to find those who would mirror yourself in your small view of the world and tiny endeavors therein?  

shall you then punish those who would deny your instant gratification?  should a stifling word become you antithesis?   Have I done too many mushrooms in my life?  Probably...

Do you really know what it is to be alive before you face death?  How many people do you have to bury do you think before youve outlived enough people?  what is it you want from life, what the fuck IS it you want?!

Do you imagine death as some floating experience in the clouds, do you see it as the end?  Are there truly any ends?  What IS it to end?  are not all beginnings some other end?  Can your tiny brain even conceive of not being?  If not, is that some copping mechanism?   Are you just stupid?  what IS stupid?

Are the victims of the world the only voices that matter?  Do we all not suffer our own hell, Is the winner not really a loser? Has not every action we should do have repercussions of which we cant comprehend, can we even comprehend ourselves?  

Will our spouses that cheat on us, or our self involved children save us from such fates?  are we just dooming those around us to suffer in our fate, to drown in the tides of our own raging waters?  Why is it we only destroy that which we hold dear?

Are you breathing right now?  Are you sure?  if you were to wake up tomorrow after that 8 hour death and find out there were infact no life to return to,would YOU be any different?  Do you cry out of pain or do you cry for attention?  What IS it to cry?....

I think tumblr proves you dont need substance, but tits, even tits you’re never gonna touch, sell super, super well...how, cartoony.

The only good cops a dead cop