Wasted-life-musings - Musings Of A Wasted Life

I Really Hate the “ I Can’t Help it Attitude “

I come from a long line of drunks, my Mothers family were Swedish Immigrants and my fathers family was German and Irish.  Not giving validation to stereotypes, but, all these people have drinking problems.  If you read say Angelas Ashes, Frank McCourts dad would work long enough to get paid, drink away all the wadges and lose his job for not showing up, over and over. 

He has a way with the drink they say.  That’s bullshit and I’ll tell you why, i can remember stories of people in my family drinking canned heat ( that alcohol based fire in a can ) and you’d think that would kill you but scientifically if you mix enough regular alcohol with rubbing alcohol it cancels out the formaldehyde digestion process, though I wouldnt try it...

My family on ALL sides, came from dirt, just, the poorest of the poor, and they ALL had drinking problems, but they all went to work, and they all raised their kids and they all did what they fucking had to do, period.  This whole “ Im a junky, I’m an alcoholic, I have no control over my actions because I’m drunk and or on junk “ is horseshit and the worst part is, you know that, even when you’re plowed you know you’re being a selfish asshole.

The root cause of your problem isnt substances, abstaining from said substances is just a crutch, a facilitation of excuse, you need to learn how to drink or smoke or whatever with a little fucking decorum and discipline.  A fat person may lose weight and say well im never eating bacon again, the bacon didnt make you fat, the fact that you had to eat 4 plates of it did, the bacons not the problem, the drugs arent the problem, the economy, the people around you arent the problem, your family isnt the problem, the fucking problem is YOU, and you need to change you and not just eliminate all the things that make you a dickhead about life, because there are alot of things...

" Walter Benjamin, he wrote an essay titled: ' The Destructive Character ' in which he said ' The destructive character is cheerful and friendly, and knows only one motto, make room. ' and there is no moral value whatsoever in that...no good, no evil.  No apocalyptic ulterior motives associated with it, no war and destructive wrath." " There is nothing more than the need thereby recognized, that for all, for every, for anything new to emerge, the preconditions must first be created, the old must be eliminated, room must be made, and that's simply why destruction is needed. " - Blixa Bargeld, Einstürzende Neubauten

Shamisen > Banjo.  Lady Gaga like you’ve never heard

https://www.youtube.com/embed/OnOWE47ew4I

How do I know that I am not?

A man, perhaps even you, sits one day on a rockface high above a roaring sea.  He lights a cigarette, and watches as the water batters the rocks, as he watches, for hours the waters rise and fall, he contemplates that fate itself must work in much the same way, he inserts himself into this concept and continues contemplating his existence.  

A small child happens upon the man, the rock face though precarious being easily reachable by a certain means, and pulls from her pocket a small collection of shells and rocks she has found, and how proud she is of them.  The man speaks with her awhile, about her collection and how its a wonderful collection, the only of its kind in all of existence, and produces his own pretty rock he found on his walk, and places it in her hand.

The mother, finding lost child apprehensively calls to her, seeing she is amongst company of this strange man on the rock face.  As it happens, it then comes to pass a strong breeze hits them and the frail girl is sent hurtling towards the edge of the rocks, and the man grabbing her coat, stops her from tumbling down the cliffside.

The mother frantically runs towards the man and flings herself onto him, latching on in unbenounced appreciation and depth.  The man not anticipating this, loses footing and the man and mother topple down the rocks and the child is left an orphan, just her and her rocks.

No good deed goes unpunished, as they say.

My Terrible Upbringing

Not long ago I posted a video about graverobbing I saw as a kid.  I remember when I saw it and other videos like it, which organs sold for what, how long said organs were good, etc.  I remember being messed up on whatever the fuck one night and I’m talking to my dad, who was drunk of course, and I told him about said videos and i remember it like yesterday, my father looked at me inquisitively and he said to me, “ well how do they make money at this? “

Not the response a parent should give and i gave the answer of you know, found trinkets and or the skull being of an important person, and he said well, if you can get away with it, sounds good to me.

I have no moral qualms about anything, and this is why.  I worked in a graveyard as a teen, to me a body is a body, and apparently thats generational.  Anyways so you know, when i presented my parents with graverobbing they said pretty much sounds great if ya dont get caught.  I aint got much to work with here people...

fun fact, movies asside, no one will ever notice you in the back of a large graveyard, get to it kids...