I Just Realised I Gave Him The Password To My IPad. That Has Tumblr Logged In. On This Account. I'll

He really just makes my good days worse. I don't know if it's on purpose or if he's just oblivious. I burned myself for him and he doesn't even care. No praise, no degrading, no disappointment. Nothing. It feels like everything I do is all for nowt. I just want him to fucking look at me. He's lucky he doesn't live near me.

everything i touch, i burn. i’m so tired of feeling this way. i hurt people then i hurt myself. i don’t want this pain. i want it to all stop.

I should speak to puppy's American friend. Maybe it would make me feel less anxious and like this. Maybe even make me feel more calm.

And right when you're in the middle of talking to me, you interrupt me to tell me you're getting a call from your "friend". I'm ignoring you for the rest of the night JUST for that.

So scared of myself that I've chained myself to the bedpost out of reach of anything that could harm me.

He's spending time with that guy again. It's not fair. No wonder he's not talking to me. Too busy making sure I'm alone and that I know that he's replacing me.

I need a haircut. Like desperately need a haircut. But my hair is what makes me feel like me. It reminds me of who I am. It's my closest connection to source. I hope somebody else in this head takes it into their hands cuz as long as I'm here, it's just gonna get more and more out of control.

Work is reallyyyy testing me rn tbh. Supposed to be moving to a different part of the store and I had a major breakdown at the store manager about the state of staffing for my current department today and she tells me "I don't think it's fair that you say we're understaffed when I've fixed all the issues." No, because I wouldn't be upset if the issues had all been fixed. Why doesn't your management call no-shows when they don't show? Why are our schedules only done 3 days in advance when it used to be 3 weeks? Why do we not have managers (or, y'know, ANY senior management) on backshifts?

She also was insinuating she wouldn't move me to the new department because of this one breakdown. Over team issues. When I'm moving into an individual, NON-TEAM based department. No girl, you WILL, and I will be HAPPIER. I get she wasn't feeling great today but girl, pull ur finger out.

Has been here a day and it's going well so far... keep it up guys