Has Been Here A Day And It's Going Well So Far... Keep It Up Guys

He acts like he wants to be around me and then decides he's going to sit on twitter and between shit when he knows I have notifications on. Do you want to be my friend or not.

are people aware i have serious abandonment issues or

He's not talking to me. If he went to bed, he didn't say goodnight. If he's ignoring me, he's talking to his 'friend' that he's attracted to. He's been avoiding me all day. We haven't spoken much today. 8 messages from him. Usually 50 or more. I'm betting he's talking to 'friend'. I hope their friendship breaks. It can just be me and him again. I want him to be happy, but this guy takes up all of his time. I stay up late worrying about him when he doesn't talk to me and I kinda hope he will come to me at like 3am lol. Then when he does, he tells me off and tells me to go to sleep. Maybe I'd go to sleep earlier if u told me what was going on so I don't wait around for u like some stupid fkn dog.

Crazy to me that I don't allow myself to be happy (without actively trying) because I'm not supposed to feel human feelings. It's become natural to act like a dog. Something euphoric about that.

Slightly glad I don't have any internet connection in the complex whilst on holiday cuz now I don't have to deal with it if he decides not to message me.

No wonder I want 2 cut cuz of u lol. When u go off on ur own and don't think about me or how I feel, it makes me want to open my arms. U should be with me so I don't have to feel like this. Sometimes I think u want me to feel like this. Maybe ur wishing for it. Fucking asshole

Everything is better now

(I am safe and this is consensual)

Curling up beside someone who hits me . Wagging my tail as they grip my hair and tell me I'm a useless mutt and that it's a miracle I'm still safe with them.

I'm having a freak out. Idk if I'm splitting or what but I'm freaking out. And I'm purposefully ignoring him. I need to. I can't fucking deal with him right now. Not because of anything he's done I just. I can't do it. But I need him. I need him to feel stable. Fucking kayemess. I need more people to talk to. I need more people that can be there for me. I hate being in servers where I try so hard to be active and make friends, then vent my feelings and nobody fucking says anything. They just blank me. I'm so fucking close to the edge. I hate this.

I'm not even gonna lie. I think kidnapping would fix us. Having someone else control everything again, being hurt, things done against my will, being treated as a lesser.

Tbh it doesn't even need to be kidnapping, just any kind of abuse/control hits (heh.) the spot, kidnapping is just the best possible outcome.

I can't even sleep right anymore because i need someone telling me what to do. If I knew how to seek it out, I would. We used to be able to find anyone like this but now we have no idea. Someone put me out of my misery.