Whines. Feels So Good.

Things r so good so far this week.. waiting for the inevitable fracturing. Though, if that can happen AFTER next week once he's visited me (a SUPER recent development. I'm so excited.), I'd be very grateful. World, hear my plea.

He's hiding from me. Invisible on discord. Only replying to what he wants to. I hope he doesn't feel good. I hope he's having some sort of mental break. I hope he feels what I feel 24/7.

No cuz I'm actually so pissed why didn't he tell me he wasn't gonna sleep call with me . Why didn't he say he was gonna be chilling out with someone else. I just want communication it's not fucking hard. I communicate everything to you and you don't communicate back. It's not fair.

Slightly glad I don't have any internet connection in the complex whilst on holiday cuz now I don't have to deal with it if he decides not to message me.

He left. I now feel so empty and like I need to fill that void again. It's only a month until I see him again but it's gonna be a long month and I'm going to be in a mood about it the whole time. At least I'm covered in marks from him I guess.

Curling up beside someone who hits me . Wagging my tail as they grip my hair and tell me I'm a useless mutt and that it's a miracle I'm still safe with them.

I just realised I gave him the password to my iPad. That has tumblr logged in. On this account. I'll be damned if I let him anywhere NEAR this account. So glad I remembered before he arrived.

His puppy. His puppy. Butterflies in my stomach.

A part of me thinks "let's see how long that lasts" but idc I'm euphoric rn. And sobering up too but euphoric mostly.