They Don't Do Romance Like This Anymore.

connor!

the last one is for me specifically

it's time to talk about leno 😈

first of all an abriged timeline of what we know about the alleged beef (creds to @moondoggiestyle for the reference, also some of my own additions): 

may 29, 2024: will signs with the sharks

summer 2024: leno and gabe both remain at BC

oct 31, 2024: will scores his first nhl goal, leno posts about it

jan 20, 2025: sharks play the bruins in boston, all the bc buddies attend including leno

jan 21st, 2025: leno's bday - no post from will, though in previous years he did post, and typically posts for everybody's bdays

jan 24-24th, 2025: BC beats BU in back to back games. leno gets a hatty in one of the games, his first. wait for it...

jan 28, 2025: jersey bet. that's fucking right. those were the games - leno's five point weekend - after which mack shows up to walk ins in will's fucking tarp. credit to @aquilotti and @loganes for this diabolical realization. so who cares about leno's hatty when INSTEAD we can talk about mack in will's jersey! SICK and TWISTED!

jan 29, 2025: mack and leno follow each other on insta, leno has been up in mack's likes, mack not so much. according to rumor, mack follows leno first, leno follows back right after (ty @loganes again!!!)

feb 10, 2025: the beanpot, bc and bu play each other, leno and gabe are on the team, mack and will attend together in fucking matching black outfits, bc loses to bu, will and mack fuck off to arizona to reenacg magic mike or whatever

march 17, 2025: will's bday - no post from leno, posts from all their buddies (voter, gabe)

march 31, 2025: leno and gabe both sign to their respective nhl teams, will reposts both posts, leno is the only buddy to not get commentary on the repost

april 4, 2025: leno scores his first nhl goal (empty net 🙄), no post from will

extremely early may: mack uses leno's number 9 for his initial team canada jersey number, THEN doubles down and adds will's 6 (insane btw)

may 7, 2025: gabe's bday - posts from both will and leno

may 29th, 2025: leno makes his farewell bc insta post and completely leaves will out of it

also let it be noted all year will has been all up in gabe's comments, nada for leno

now, for part 2 - the insta post

5 slides

slide 1: the cover photo and also the most insane photo to have possibly chosen. leno and gabe exactly mirroring the pic of mack and will that will posted on the second slide of his year one sharks dump. i dont wanna cornplate too hard yet before i get the facts down, but it's a clear duo picture. hes saying this is my guy! not a whole pic of the team, not a pic of just leno, no it is a duo pic with gabe that is quite literally an exact copy of will's duo pic with mack

slide 2: leno in the middle of posma and powell. posma is a senior, powell is a grad student, both older, neither of them appear to be in will's in crowd

slide 3: line pic with gabe, stiga, hagens, and gustafsson. interesting to me that he doesnt tag hagens here and instead waits for slide 5, which....see below

slide 4: walk in pic with will vote. from insta we know that will, gabe, leno, and vote were kind of a squad, and will leno and vote also all lived together for the development program. unsuprising inclusion.

slide 5: an absolutely insane pic of leno literally lying on toppp of james hagens and grinning. hagens was a freshman and was essentially will's replacement in the gabe will leno line. warning for early cornplating but in my head this is like The Replacement Pic.

finally part 3, i put on my little tin hat and run around in the wild going insane.

‼️warning‼️ cornplating starts here 📌

okay. leno posting for will's first goal - first of all, leno stand uppppp, second of all, w the way that boy has been acting all up in insta likes, i dont think it's fair to assume that no falling out has happened yet. and if it has happened, it was likely leno at fault because why would he be gassing will up if he was mad?

then to january, leno attends the sharks game, but the NEXT DAY, will doesnt post for the bday. meaning sometime in fall '24, there was an initial conflict. leno still shows up with all the boys, but he isnt in the group pic, and he isnt getting posted. this further solidifies my theory that in at least the initial conflict, wherever it started from, leno was at fault. 

just a week later, mack and leno follow each other. the sharks were in between a home game and a game in seattle, so it's likely mack and will were together in san jose that day. okay, so what happened here? between the weird boston/bday tension, and then will's new number one guy following will's old number one guy on insta?? hmmm

now - the beanpot. will and mack show up together to watch a game extremely important to leno and gabe, a game that very much matters to will's two best friends, and they show up in fucking matching black outfits, zero allegiance showing. mack is reading the lineup, waving a bu flag, will not so much. whats more is as far as im aware we have no evidence of will actually hanging out with his bc boys after the loss or while he was in boston at all. im not saying they didnt, but they didnt post about it! says something idk what but something!

no will bday post - silence is loud. he reposts leno's signing - he's being polite, but the distance is clear. will is notttt the type to be reserved about showing affection for his friends and fam, but not even an emoji....cold war happening 

then jerseygate: mack stealing leno's fucking number, no good explanation at all. THEN adding will's number too! so clearly will isn't even upset about it! mack is clearly involved in the will and leno war, at first one could speculate that he played a part but this is like direct involvement now. mack and will on one side, leno on the other. mack's out here wearing their matching numbers at worlds like he's fuckinh achilles dragging hector's corpse around, leno's gotta feel mocked, erased, and not chosen. he’s being publicly overshadowed, his identity stitched onto someone will now loves more.

the insta post now, no will. he's erasing him. and the hagens pic?? unreal. reads like, “you replaced me? i replaced you" except wayy more pathetic unfortch

so my main questions:

the mack following - who followed who first? leno, in some kind of testing the waters move? or mack, likely at will's prompting, or out of his own insanity? and why now? why not before or after the game, which is when they wouldve met up? they had a back to back and played the preds next day so ig wouldve been like coffee or something quick outside the locker room, but still.

‼️info update that mack followed leno first, leno followed right after. SINISTER given that this is occuring the DAY after jersey bet gate, where mack wears will's tarp to the rink based on a bet on games that leno carried. SINISTER!!!

the beanpot - i feel personally that the vibez took a turn for the worst here, but were already bad before. some kind of blowup? a real actual fight? was mack and leno following eo indicitive of some attempt to smooth things over, but then the scab got picked open at the beanpot? again with the way that leno has been grovelling via instagram, feeling like it's a him problem. but ALSO if leno did do or say something it wouldnt be entirely his fault or entirely too bad, given that it doesnt appear that sides have been taken within the core group. maybe leno said something? possibly about or to mack? possibly just to will? who knows! but after this, leno is no longer inner circle and will makes it clear. leno's sitting in a locker room somewhere refreshing will's story after his first nhl goal, and it's crickets.

post beanpot - has will been freezing leno out entirely now? and what role is mack playing, is he actively leaning into it? all signs point to yes. 

the way i see it, there's obvi endless possibilities, but my general mentally made up delulu timeline is this:

summer '24: will blindsides (to some extent) gabe and leno with leaving bc, leno takes it as a slight or a betrayal. he made sure to talk a LOT abt how happy he was that he stayed another year at bc, in this context it reads as trying to rub it in. tension is created, but nothing friendship ending yet

fall '24: something happens. will's probably drifting, pulling away, busy with the sharks and his new best friend mack. maybe leno's making comments, being passive aggressive, trying to ice will out a little bit out of hurt, jealousy, whatever. maybe he goes a little too far, will doesnt take it well, leno grovels a little. 

winter '24: by jan, it's cooled off a little, things are still tense. leno goes to the game, but the whole group is going, he cant NOT go, but they are almost certainly fighting or almost certainly have a fight here bc no leno bday post the NEXT DAY?? in my head theres a few scenarios, obvi have zero basis in fact, but i love a hypothesis so maybe something like will bringing mack along to a meetup, or texting mack while hanging w bostom boys, leno feels overlooked and replaced all over again right in front of his salad, says something nasty? who knows but it was enough for will to not post his bday! at the beanpot, there had to be something, some kind of fight, because its been a full on ice out ever since.

spring '24: will is done, checked out, he's picked mack over and over. leno is crashing out holed up in PLD's house shaking like a rabid dog. now he just wants to hurt will back, but at the same time he wants will back. he wants will to pick him but he wants will to feel as abandoned as he does. 

anyways. anyways!!

Mitch Marner + The Ballad of Lucy Gray Baird

so i forgot my brother in law is FREIDNS with willy nyland*r and he just told me ab how he used to have dinner all the time whatever and then hes like oh yea and one time aust*n matthews came by with his little highschool friend who was following him around asking for attention and he later realized the little friend was mitch marn*r 😭

Im fucking DRY HEAVING at the energy Nico brought to the paddock this week, he's airing everyones business. First it was "Flavio's ugly ass invited me to his fuckass room for negotiations" and then he LITERALLY JUST SAW JAMES VOWELS AND WENT "I call you Vowels bc u called me Rosberg when were teammates... how shockingly impersonal is that u fucking rat ???? [takes deep breath for terrifyingly detailed analysis] [James tries to defend himself] "yes BUT I was sitting at your table??? I was yOuR fRiEnD aNd tEaMmAte🤨"

ptolemaea — ethel cain i am the face of love's rage

(special thanks to @celbrini for brainstorming with me)

what's poetry like by bianca stone

nick heidfeld didn't post the most nick heidfeld tribute to seb for you lot to be ignoring him