Vaellis1994 - Untitled

every friend group should include... (insp.)

me

Cursed mostly crack au nonsense.

The real reason Palpatine hates Obi-wan so much is Not because he's the Master of the Chosen One™ and therefore in the way of his plans. Oh no.

Sheev Palpatine hates Obi-wan because Obi-wan turned him down when he asked him on a date. Sheev was like 'cute redhead that can hold an intelligent and scathing conversation. Score'. He thinks they'll go on a few dates and as a bonus he can convince Obi-wan to go Dark.

But Obi-wan always gets 'weird old man' vibes from him and politely declines.

Of course Palpatine is offended that Obi-wan turned him down. Hes a catch. Anyone would be flattered to go on a date with him. How dare he! What do you mean he's fucked the Organas?? What do they have that i dont?!

So starts the long passive aggressive murder attempts.

Except. Every once in a while Palpatine tries to shoot his shot again. Its a matter of pride. He hints that maybe these assassins will go away if Obi-wan agrees to go on a date with him.

Obi-wan is like 'ah. Youre one of Those types' and doubles down on declining Palpatines date invites. Not once does it occur to him to Tell Anybody what Palpatine is doing.

This continues for a Long time. Then, midway through the war Padme pulls Anakin to the side and asks very politely if Anakin would talk to his good friend Palpatine about leaving Obi-wan alone. Anakin, having had no idea anything was going on, asks wtf shes talking about. So padme explains that during one of her and Obi-wans friendly bitching Tea dates that Obi-wan let slip that the Chancellor was trying to pressure him into a relationship by using his position of power over the republic, the Jedi, and Anakin himself. Obi-wan usually wouldnt have said anything but one of the assassins shot at one of his men instead of him and thats 'a step too far' and Obi-wan is a sleep deprived irritated mess.

Anakin of course goes a little unhinged at this information. No one threatens his brother-dad like that. So he goes to confront Palpatine, because maybe it's been a misunderstanding, but maybe it hasn't been.

So he confronts Palpatine, who doesn't deny it and instead makes his biggest mistake. He asks anakin to convince Obi-wan to agree. The 'Or Else' isn't said, it isn't even really implied, but Anakin hears it anyway. And he remembers what that kind of thing means on Tatooine.

Anakin goes even more unhinged. Theres a misunderstanding between Anakin and Palpatine where Palpatine thinks Anakin has figured him out as a sith but Anakin just thinks he's a predator. It turns into a fight.

There are explosions and saber duels and lightening.

When the dust clears Palpatine is dead and Anakin has curled himself around Obi-wan like 'its okay, he's dead now. He can't threaten you ever again'. Obi-wan is like 'thank you. I love you. But wut?'.

Both are sent off on a long vacation. Anakin because he was being groomed by a Sith lord and because the stress from the war has clearly caused something to snap. Obi-wan because he was being romantically pursued by a Sith Lord, the stress from the war, and because Anakin wont let him out of his sight.

Of course Ahsoka and the 212th and 501st go with them. Padme stays behind to help girlboss the Senate into getting their shit together.

Cody is a little salty he didn't get a chance to kick Palpatine in the dick (Its also a codywan au), but he claps Anakin on the shoulder and goes 'Good job son'. Anakin cries.

Ava:

Beatrice:

Camila: hey guys (: maybe you should go into another room together (: alone (: and read this story about a lesbian (:

Enough to go Around

For katieisagoddess who asked for Kalex to AgentSuperCorp. Kara and Alex are together, but no one knows except Eliza and J’onn. They go on a date one night, and Lena sees them (she’s not mad that Kara didn’t tell her about being Supergirl) doesn’t quite catch that they’re leaving a date, asks Kara out on a date. Kara and Alex share a look, tell her that they’re actually dating, then offer to have her join them.

I own nothing. Another prompt fill!

Words: 3626

Alex stared down the women across from her.

Why did the stupid alien have to be so damn attractive?

More importantly, why did their resident billionaire philanthropist also have to be so attractive as well? Lena was looking between them as if she were watching a tennis match.

Between the two of them, Alex was glad she had her training to fall back on. She would lament to Kara over the situation later. The billionaire in question was her best friend after all.

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Just want to remind everyone of this

The struggle is real (x)

Hey hey hey! Once again, it’s me. Was wondering if you’d write the young on Melida/daan + eldritch obi-wan? Please and thank you. This universe gives me life :)

War is not meant for children. 

That doesn’t mean it isn't fought by them. When they are the only ones willing to stand against the senseless slaughter and argue for peace. When the children are the only ones that answer the call to end the war that’s silenced them for centuries.

They can’t call for aid, can’t pay for hired guns or supplies or even shelter. 

But the Jedi come and there is hope, and then the Jedi leave again and they are left with a thin boy without the weapon he has learned to use all his life and nothing but a vibroblade to substitute it.

Neild thinks they’ve lost then. Cerasi argues that so long as they breath they can’t be lost. Obi-wan Kenobi smiles with oddly sharp teeth and tells them that sometimes all there is left is hope. And the determination for change.

Runil, the little medic tells them that they can’t lose him with wide eyed wonder and three living breathing children that should be long dead in the ditch they found them in. She tells them that he is the miracle worker they’ve needed with that desperate hope they’ve barely kept alive. 

(The oldest is 10, probably older than Runil herself, Obi-wan won’t explain what he did to save her though she watched him lay a hand on her chest as she choked on blood and quite sobs. Runil is the daughter of two doctors long lost to the war and even she isn’t certain it’s something she could even understand.)

None of them know what to make of the figure he cut’s on the battlefield. Half as tall as any of their enemies and yet the blaster weighs heavy in thin hands and never misses a shot. Neild sees the way he moves, sees the way the world moves with him. Dust and stones hanging in the air around him as he darts for his target with an efficiency Neild can’t begin to understand.

He see’s the way Obi-wan’s head snaps to the side and his hand rises, pulling thin air and jerking Locc off his feet from half the field away as the ground beneath him explodes. The younger boy should be dead, not shaking and bleeding from a dozen cuts. Obi-wan seems to disagree, a snarl on his face as he pulls the boy to him and raises a hand. A dozen mines explode across the field and Neild thinks maybe he was wrong. 

Maybe the war isn’t lost just yet. 

Obi-Wan sometimes forgets that Anakin and Ahsoka are not younglings anymore.

Like, during the war, when it just started and he and Anakin were only getting used to it, Anakin would often fall asleep while he was writing reports. And Obi-Wan would just pick him up to carry him to his room and Anakin would wrap all his limbs around him and cling to him like a monkey.

When Obi-Wan picks up Ahsoka for the first time, she sprawls all over him and snores into his neck.

And he gets some side-looks at first, the clones are surprised to see such displays between their Jedi. But Obi-Wan just smiles and keeps going, shifting Anakin a little so his neck won't hurt when he wakes up.

And then he starts doing it to the clones as well.

One day he randomly found a clone sleeping in the hall and picked him up, armor and weapons and all, and brought him to the barracks. The men who were there at the time almost fainted when their General strolled in casually and asked there was their brother's bunk.

No one believes them then they later speak about it in the mess hall.

Cody almost has a heart attack the first time he sees it happen. Like, this is his superior officer, his General, the High General of the GAR and the member of the Jedi Council carrying one of his man bridal stile!

It was pretty early into the war and Cody was serving under Obi-Wan's command for only a couple of months, so he was absolutely certain he would hear at least some comment or even an order to punish the man. After all, he must have fallen asleep on duty.

But there's nothing.

Obi-Wan didn't even mention it. He just smiled at the clone the next time he saw him and asked if he was getting enough sleep now.

It just keeps happening. The war is ruthless, after all.

Obi-Wan carries Anakin, Ahsoka and the clones all around the ship to get them to comfortable sleeping places. Everyone get used to it fast. Some clones even make it a competition to fall asleep in the weirdest places to see if Obi-Wan would find them.

He does, every time.

The clones get comfortable around Obi-Wan very fast, seeing that he's not exactly what the Kaminoans promised them the Jedi would be. Sure, he's calm and wise and very nice and absolutely terrifying with his lightsaber but he's also kind and warm and friendly. They joke with him, even tease him. He smiles and returns the favor. And then Wooley accidently calls Obi-Wan 'Dad' after receiving an order.

Anakin thinks it's hilarious and teases them both. Until Obi-Wan reminds him how he called Master Yoda 'Grandpa'.

That shuts him up.

But soon after, Obi-Wan randomly drops adoption papers on the table in the middle of the briefing and says that he signed them already and everyone who wants can do the same, they just need to write their name in and it's done.

That's how he adopts the whole 212th except Cody, who looks him dead in the eye and asks him out.

He says yes.

And since the 212th now are considered Stewjoni, the rest of the clones get the citizenship automatically as they're all family.

Anakin sulks and doesn't talk to Obi-Wan for a week until a very confused Ahsoka asks him why.

"No, I'm very glad that our men have rights now, but he didn't even ask me if I wanted to be adopted too! I didn't even know the Jedi were allowed to do it."

"But he adopted you like, ten years ago?"

"WHAT"

"Oh, he asked me a few weeks after I became your Padawan if I wanted to become your sister too. I said yes, by the way."

Which leads to this-

"Why didn't you tell me you adopted me!"

"But I told you, remember, after our second swimming lesson?"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING"