Cursed Mostly Crack Au Nonsense.

x.

Kaas City shines in the rain.

The Republic news always shows it as grim and forbidding, endlessly smothered by floods. But anyone who’s lived here knows the city was built to be beautiful in a downpour. Gutters made of strengthened glass, refracting light into shining patterns as the water courses through them; funnels and spouts that catch the rain it trickles down buildings, channelling it into fountains.

Lana shines in the rain, too. But then, Lana always shines.

Neyna doesn’t bother to hide her smile as she leads Lana out onto the balcony of her apartment. This feels like the right place to talk: appropriately dramatic, what with the drumming of the rain on the canopy above their heads, and the city a shimmering artwork all around them. And here, she gets to see Lana in the light of the city. See the highlights and shadows thrown over her face. It’s a breathless experience – even though her robes are soaked and her hair’s sticking to her face – and Neyna very badly wants to kiss her.

She wonders if Lana has noticed her repeated glances towards her lips. Probably. Hopefully.

‘You didn’t have to come here in this downpour,’ Neyna says, leaning against the parapet. ‘Or if you did, you could have taken a taxi with a roof.’

‘I took the first one I saw as soon as I learned you were home.’ Lana smiles, and stars, Neyna will never get over what that does to her insides. ‘I wanted to see you as soon as I could. Besides, you didn’t have to buy me flowers, either.’

She’s still holding them, a explosion of amber-coloured petals – which, Neyna is delighted to see, match her eyes perfectly. ‘I did, really. It seems like the least kind of apology I can make for apparently-dying on you. And for taking so long to let you know I was alive.’

Lana is silent for a moment, her fingers twining around the flower stems. Then she says, ‘I missed you.’

Keep reading

Please?

The world basically being in quarantine is gonna make fanfiction writers real quick with their updates now, huh? I better see writers updating fics that haven’t been updated since fucking 2012, okay? Lets go

I’m always a slut for ‘Anakin decides not to murder children and it saves the galaxy’ AUs, but I’m also always a slut for ‘Anakin decides not to murder children and it doesn’t save the galaxy’ AUs, partially because I’m sure Palps had several contingencies in place for Anakin not falling, and partially because the concept of baby Luke and Leia being raised by their Mom, Dad, Uncle Obi and Aunt Soka while they run the Resistance kills me.

There are so many incredible directions it can go, but my personal favorites are:

Leia gets a lightsaber and becomes a terror of the galaxy, eventually killing Sidious through sheer bloody-minded stubbornness and no little amount of vigorous stabbing.

Luke and Anakin bond over piloting while Obi-Wan is sick in the back of the transport.

Obi-Wan and Padmé getting drunk and taking the piss out of Sidious. (“Have you— *hic* have you seen his hair?” “Atrocious.” “Fuck, and the robes.” “No sense of panache whatsoever. I was never so unstylish when I wore robes.” “Yes, you were very hot.” “What?” What.”)

Ahsoka, Leia, and Luke prank wars. Blue milk in the pillow is how it starts. Three imperial bases burning while R2 cackles in the background and Padmé and Obi-Wan yelling at them is how it ends.

R2 and Luke are Best Friends. R2 and Leia are Mortal Enemies. Anakin takes Luke’s side. Obi-Wan takes Leia’s. Ahsoka and 3PO form their own team. Padmé privately decides that she can’t be bothered and lets her family have their stupid feud while she establishes another rebel base.

Hondo Ohnaka frequently kidnaps Luke and Leia and tries to get them to join his crew. Leia scams him every single time in the hopes that it’ll get him to back off. It just makes him try harder.

Han Solo shows up when the twins are 16 and both of them get horrible crushes on him. Anakin hates him for it. He shows up again when the twins are 22 and gets a horrible crush on both of them. Luke thinks it’s kind of sweet. Leia is not impressed. Anakin still hates him.

Luke goes out on a routine supply trip and comes back two weeks later with a whole covert of Mandalorians, including one named Din to whom he is very attached. Anakin blames Obi-Wan for it (“It’s your genes. Your stupid, defective, mandalorian-attracting genes.” “Luke and I aren’t even related!!” “You did this.”)

Padmé ‘three outfits a day and no less’ Amidala, Leia ‘braids and floor-length bodycon dresses’ Skywalker, and Luke ‘Chanel boots’ Skywalker, are fashion icons. Anakin, who is almost always covered in grease stains, is consistently mistaken for their escort and/or servant.

Fanfiction that I might get around to some day

This is the early stages of the war and Cody has just been assigned to General Obi-Wan and his padawan. Its supposed to be an amazing assignment that all the other clone officers were super jealous of but as soon as Cody touched down on the newly launched Negotiator he is faced with some Issues. Mainly having to deal with his super not at all appropriate crush for his General and said General's super not at all jealous brat.

Cody is a grown adult (technically) and physical he's five or six years older than Anakin at this point. He knows he shouldn't be petty. But this brat keeps pushing his buttons. Whenever they're in the same room, Anakin hisses at him. The other day someone messed with the straps on Cody's armor and all his plating fell off during a meeting with the high council. Someone put salt in his blaster's charging port. Cody wants so badly to act childish back and pull an equally shitty prank but then he looks over at his General (who practically breathes maturity, refinement and kindness) and decides that giving that little shit-bird of a padawan a lesson might not be worth it if he makes Obi-Wan upset-or if he looses his job but he doubts that will happen.

This goes on for a whilst Cody suffers in silence. The other commanders are convinced their vod deserves a metal for how much he has to put up with. It looks like this is going to keep going on until after Anakin is knighted and given his own ship to command. But then Cody discovers a solution. It's been a really long battle, he's tired and probably a little delirious so when there's no reason why that when ship's officers are all convened for a meeting, Cody decides to tell his General that he looks really good fighting alongside the vode. It's a quiet remark, meant only for Obi-Wan to hear. Cody's General smiles gently, shooting back another equally flirty remark. And then some low ranking admiral asks Obi-Wan a question and they turn back to their original conversation.

But Anakin must have overheard, how could he not? He's always standing so close to Obi-Wan. When Cody looks over the padawan's face is as white as a sheet and quickly turning a gross looking red. He's about to ask Anakin if he's alright, maybe apologize. But then he gets an awful, awful idea.

And that's what the Negotiator would look like for the next couple of months. Anakin spends his free time playing borderline cruel pranks on his clone commander which prompts Cody to start publicly flirting with Obi-Wan. As the pranks get more aggressive so does the flirting until Cody out right slaps his generals ass in the middle of a battle. All the other clones are convinced they're about to see Anakin die of shock. When Anakin is finally promoted to the rank of jedi knight and given his own battalion everyone's convinced the rivalry will stop. Until one day right before the events of the clone wars tv takes place and Anakin gets his own padawan, he pays a visit to Obi-Wan after a battle. No one can find the General or his Commander anywhere. But at some point during the battle talks, Anakin walks in looking ill, following right behind him is Obi-Wan and Cody. They're both smirking, completely covered in love bites.

Potter Family Headcanons (Continued)

Ginny is a loud parent. She grew up with 6 brothers in a house that was never quiet. She is loud. Her children are loud. 

There is always some sort of shouting going on in the Potter Family Household. Even if no one’s angry or upset. They’ll have conversations whilst on different floors. Or raise their voices because they’re excited. The only time the house is quiet is when no one is there or absolutely everyone is asleep.

The dogs love this. They too will shout at their favourite humans if they want scratches or to play.

Harry loves this too. He is also the quietest person in the house. 

He never raises his voice. Ever. If Harry is raising his voice everyone shuts up and listens.

This carries over to his work in the Auror Office too.

He’s the quietest-spoken Head Auror in living memory. He is also one of the most effective.

The Potter kids are very well-trained in the practise of not talking back to Mum. 

But it’s when they’re in trouble with their Dad that everyone freaks out.

Harry doesn’t get mad. Harry gets disappointed. Everyone agrees that this is ten times worse than Mum’s shouting.

Harry and Ginny don’t fight with each other often but when they do it’s always over something petty and tends towards the explosive. It usually ends in a cold war that lasts until one of them apologises

They take turns in apologising first

Every single Potter child has at one point tried to refer to Harry and Ginny’s various misadventures, rule-breaking and/or that time they committed treason/a crime to get out of trouble

This strategy has never once worked 

Harry and Ginny have lived together since they both graduated Hogwarts

Andromeda has lived with Harry even longer

She moved in with him with baby Teddy right after the war ended. Her house was empty and full of memories. So was his. She needed help with Teddy and liked having someone else to take care of. He needed someone that would team up with Kreacher and force him to take a break when he got tunnel-vision. 

This arrangement was intended to be temporary. Andy never moved out.

She was very happy to be de-facto grandmother and go-to babysitter to all the Potter children (she may have cried when she realised)

Molly and Arthur Weasley babysit as well of course, but they have 9 other grandchildren besides and everyone understands without talking about it that Andy only really has the Potters.

The Potters actually have two houses. They lived in Number 12 until Lily-Lu was born and they realised that with 3 small young children and 1 larger but still young child (not to mention the three dogs) they needed more outdoor space

They found an old farmhouse cottage with an attached barn that they renovated to be livable (after Grimmauld Place it was easy - especially with Kreacher and Winky’s help)

This house was called “Firedrake Cottage” when they bought it.

It took less than 3 weeks for the kids to start referring to it as “Dragon House” and Number 12 as “Star House”

They use these names so often that Harry and Ginny change the floo connection between the houses to accept these as destinations

It becomes so common that Harry accidentally tries to floo to “Dragon House” from the office and gets thrown out of the floo violently

NO ONE lets him forget it

This actually happens more than once

Ginny only does this once before contacting Percy and insisting that he change the official floo addresses 

She fails to inform Harry of this

He spends 3 months apparating to and from work before being confident enough that he won’t get the floo address wrong

Teddy’s first word was “Nana”. She remains his favourite person to this day.

She’s also the only person he goes to for romantic advice, his parents, aunts, and uncles all being hopeless in that regard

Nana Andy is not much better but absolutely no one ever tells him this

He calls Harry “Dada” for the first time less than 5 minutes after he first says “Nana”

Harry cries

Ginny also quickly ends up being “Mama”

This freaks her out for exactly 30 seconds until Teddy starts crying because she’s not picking him up. She very quickly adjusts because dear Merlin he’s loud when he’s upset and she never can stand hearing him cry

He’s enrolled in every muggle primary school after the first as “Potter” because after the first 6 times Harry has to correct the teachers and the other parents about calling him “Mr Lupin” despite the fact that Teddy looks like his son and calls him “Daddy” he nearly has a breakdown (it’s been nearly 4 ½ years since the war ended but sometimes it hits him so hard that he can’t breathe) 

Teddy is 4 when Harry and Ginny sit him down to explain that they’re not actually his parents. He is inconsolable until they reassure him that they’ve always loved him like a son. Neither will admit how touched they were when he asked if he could still call them “Daddy” and “Mummy”. The answer is “yes” of course

Teddy is 6 when James is born. He spends the last 2 months of Ginny’s pregnancy terrified that his parents won’t need him anymore, despite all of their reassurances. It isn’t until James is born and they introduce him to his “big brother” that it sinks in that he isn’t being replaced.

2 weeks into his first year at Hogwarts Teddy breaks into his Professor Granny Minnie’s office (he shouts different names from the War Memorial until the Gargoyle opens) and begs her to change his name on the registers to “Potter”. She does so without asking why. She’s seen more than one child go through these halls with a name that hurts, she no longer asks for a reason.

He’s nearly 14 when he sits his parents and his Nana down and explains that even though he knows they’re not biologically his, Harry and Ginny are the only parents he’s ever known, and he wants that to be recognised by everyone, not just people who know him. He’s tired of being “Lupin” every time the anniversaries roll around. He loves the man who gave him the name in an abstract way and he knows his Dad misses him but he wants people to stop seeing the dead when they look at him and start seeing him (afterwards Harry takes him aside and tells him about growing up as an orphan and constantly getting told he looks like his father with his mother’s eyes and how there were times when he wondered if that was all anyone ever saw when they looked at him)

He’s 9 when he realises he’s actually a girl sometimes. He still uses he/him pronouns all the time because he’s never felt like they don’t suit him. His parents take it in stride when he tells them and his Nana tells him that his bio-Mum was exactly the same way but with female pronouns

He sometimes refers to himself as a Black when they’re in Star House. He doesn’t really feel like one but it always makes his Nana smile

He’s always known without being told that he’ll inherit the Headship of the Black Family and all that that entails when Harry dies. He doesn’t like to think about it

When he becomes an Auror his mentor is Lavender Brown

He doesn’t understand why everyone is so scared of her because Auntie Lav-Lav has been a staple in his life since he was 6

This lasts until the first time he witnesses her make someone cry and his Dad has to interfere to get her to back off. 

He’s Jamie’s favourite person in the world

This is thrilling for the first 6 months. Then it becomes the most annoying thing in the world

He decides pretty early on that he wants to adopt. Tori agrees to this pretty quickly after he tells her but insists that they have multiple children

They end up being foster parents for magical orphans and children from abusive homes. They don’t get to keep all of them but every child that doesn’t have decent other family becomes theirs. 

They do end up having 2 children that are biologically theirs. Both pregnancies were accidental. 

Teddy and Tori do not differentiate between any of their children. They are all theirs after all

All of their children get to choose what surname they would like to use when they go to Hogwarts. 

Jamie is inseparable from his cousins Fred and Louis practically from birth 

By the time they can walk this is very difficult for Teddy because he cannot go anywhere without tripping over three toddlers

And he doesn’t have the best balance in the first place

Jamie falls for a muggleborn that ends up in Hufflepuff but he’s sure should have been Slytherin

The muggleborn is not shy about the fact that he hates strongly dislikes Jamie

They end up married anyway (somewhere in heaven James Potter and Sirius Black are laughing) (history has a funny way of repeating itself)

No one loves their siblings more than Jamie Potter loves his brothers and sister

He will fight anyone that disagrees

Also anyone that upsets them

Also that one guy that insulted Lily-Lu behind her back and then made a vulgar comment about wanting to fuck her. He learned to respect women quickly (he’s lucky it was Jamie that taught him and not one of his siblings. Teddy is a scary good dueler and Lily-Lu is just frightening. Al is inventive)

Al doesn’t actually know that his new friend Daisy is his second cousin until he gets to Platform 9 ¾ at the start of the Christmas Hols

There is no Potter that can be left unsupervised. Ever. 

Al might not be as quidditch mad as his brother but all of the Weasley cousins can play

He and Rose are a particularly unbeatable pair of Beaters (Scorpius isn’t a half bad Keeper)

Al’s best subject is potions. To literally no one’s surprise he becomes a Potion’s Master (his siblings are surprised that it takes nearly 4 years after his Mastery to blow something up badly enough that it destroys his lab)

He fully lives up to this part of the Potter legacy (somewhere his great-grandfather Monty is ridiculously proud. Severus Snape is turning in his grave)

In much the same way that everything else in his life comes as a surprise to him, Al is the last person to find out he’s dating Frankie Longbottom

True to form he finds out when Rose asks him what their plans are for their second anniversary

He panics and finds out that literally everyone else including Frankie, his siblings and both of their parents thought they were dating (spoiler alert: they are dating, he just somehow never noticed)

Lily-Lu manages to be more dangerous with a wand than her mother, biological grandparents, and her godmother put together

She’s far more interested in politics and law than she is in dueling though (there is a not insignificant number of people who are very very grateful for this fact)

She plays seeker on her house team

There was an Incident in one match where the other seeker saw her flying towards him and promptly flew in the other direction as fast as he could. Neither would share why. (He was harassing Violet Brown. Lily does not put up with such shit. She makes this fact known. He regrets his actions very much)

Her favourite person is her godmother, Auntie Lav-Lav. 

This is unrelated to the fact that Lavender Brown is the definition of the phrase “steel fist in a lacy glove” and may or may not have something to do with the fact that Lavender Brown is the first werewolf Auror, maintains one of the highest solve rates in the DMLE, (second only to her Dad and Aunt Susan) and puts up with no one’s shit

Lily-Lu wants to be Lavender Brown when she grows up

She doesn’t marry but the Prophet reports that she spends a suspicious amount of time with the Zabini Heir – notorious flirt and famous for being born out of wedlock to two parents in a constant on again off again relationship

Harry prays that this is just a rumour

Ginny just hopes she gets more grandbabies out of it

Lily-Lu not getting married is mostly unrelated to the fact that Jamie bet her that she wouldn’t manage to be the last DA kid to get married (Jamie already knew at the time that Benny Jordan was aroace and had already decided to get married never when he could just work with dragons instead)

At this point she’s persisting out of sheer spite

The crispiest F*ck You I’ve heard from Chyler

Liberties

Here is an idea where liberties are taken and frankly not given back. This is a world where Cerasi survived Mawat’s assination attempt. Obi Wan never went back to Jedi. Instead he continued to help rebuild Melidaan and continued to follow the Force.  Every so often the Force would send him out into the galaxy to meet other Force Sensitives, and adopt them. This is a world where Obi Wan learns to own his attachments instead of repressing them. In addition every force sensitive that was active in the outer rim is eventually drawn to at least stop on Melidaan. Light or Dark; Sith, Jedi, and everything in between. Up to and including Darth Plagueis and Darth Sidious in their alter egos. No one thinks to tell the Jedi High Council.

I picture Xanatos showing up, first because of his obsession with revenge against Qui Gonn, then after hearing Obi’s story being like ‘now we are truly brothers’. He is batshit insane and cheerfully vows not to sell Obi or any of Obi’s people into salvery every time he arrives but he is a genius for creating/managing resources and Obi would do anything for his chosen people, even reluctantly spending time with the man that is at the center a good chunk of his trauma. 

Things get even weirder when Feemor is reunited with his lineage brothers. Frankly all of them need so much therapy. 

At some point they (by they I mean the Young government in combination with the various Force users that pop in and out of their lives) create a school for force sensitives on Melidaan, just called The School. It is semi secret in that knowledge of it never quite reaches general knowledge in the core worlds but not through any actions on the part of the people involved. In that time Obi-Wan discovers something interesting. While about 90% of force users can use either side of the Force without issue, the evil comes from the actions not the side of the force, the other 10% is restricted to Dark or Light with the other side being akin to an addiction.  Exclusive dark side users are less common, due to an inherent recklessness that tends to get themselves killed, but they do exist. 

Something nobody knows is that Yoda and the Master that trained him were both within that small percentage restricted to use of the Light side. He has assumed that his reaction to the dark is a commonality of all force users, not a restriction that he has. 

Of the Sith of this time, in the years before Plageus died, Palpatine is the first to find his way to their out of the way little planet. It was mostly an accident, with the force subtly guiding his fingers to put in the wrong coordinates for a hyperspace jump. Though Palpatine does fall into the 90% that can use either side, he has been using the darkside almost exclusively for decades. Users of the darkside, particularly Sith, tend to see the force more of a servant than a teacher. Thus the Force, semi sentient, has to be much more subtle when dealing with Sith. 

Palpatine is somewhat confused as he lands, for once listening to the force as it presses him forward. He had been headed for a vacation on Naboo.  At this time he is still a part of the current senator’s retinue, a few years away from being a senator himself. The people in the space port barely look at him before directing him up to The School.  It is generally assumed that any strange, unknown visitors looking vaguely confused about where they were have something to do with the Force and should be dealt with by Obi Wan. To be fair, this policy has only been wrong twice. 

Palpatine is politely, but firmly, loaded into a transport and dropped off at the school.  None of his questions were answered along the way.  He spent a bit of the ride sort of wondering if he was being abducted, why he wasn’t more concerned or angry about that fact, and rationalizing following this weird feeling in the Force to its conclusion. 

He is brought to Obi Wan’s office, as the head of the school. Obi Wan asks him if he prefers direct questions and answers or complicated politic conversation. At Palpatine’s surprised look,  Obi Wan goes on to say that they want people to be comfortable and he doesn’t have a preference.  Normally Palpatine would enjoy political back and forth but by this time his curiosity is piqued. The first question that Obi Wan asks is if Palpatine is aware of his own force sensitivity.  This serves to shock Palpatine into stillness, the only other person to clock his force sensitivity had been Plageuis many decades before. He had even managed to hide it on Coruscant from the High Council of the Jedi.  

In the silence that followed Obi wan explained about this being a school for force sensitives that felt they had nowhere else to go.  Members of the Jedi Order that had been expelled or relegated to a corp due to lack of being chosen, Knights and Shadows who felt disconnected from the Order. There were also Force sensitive that had been exiled from their own planets due to their force sensitivity, escaped slaves, and more than a few that were there because the force said they should be. Obi Wan has pamphlets, which he hands over to Palpatine. Obi Wan went on to explain that Paplatine was free to explore his sensitivity here as long as the rules were followed:

No action that would deliberately cause permanent or long lasting injury to anyone on the planet, defined as any injury that cannot be healed in 48 standard hours, be it physical, mental, emotional, or psychic. The creation of soul wounds are never permitted on the planet as they are almost always permanent. 

Unless agreed to previously, do not approach students or teachers of this school off this planet. Some may not be comfortable with their connection to The School being public knowledge.

As it is possible for members of this school to end up on different sides of a conflict, if one member recognizes another it is courtesy to ignore the other if possible. If not, then the courtesy of a quick death. 

Any technique that will change the environment or the Force on the planet toward either the Dark or the Light will only be performed only with the permission of the School Board and the Planetary government.  The only exception will be 4 specially dedicated areas:

An area on the West side of campus dedicated to the Dark

An area on the East side of campus dedicated to the Light

An area to the South that is dedicated to combining beginner to mid level Dark and Light techniques that is open to anyone.

An area to the North dedicated to combining advanced Dark and Light techniques that requires special authorization.

The use of these areas is predicated on the results of what is effectively a Force Allergy test to ensure that the being falls into the 90% that can use either side without harming themselves

All experimental techniques used on this planet that have a test subject must have a written waiver from the subject stating that they agree to the test, with full knowledge of the potential risks and no coercion to the part of the testor.  

Experimental techniques that have a greater that 75% chance of one of the following must be pre approved by the School Board and the Planetary Council:

Changes to the environment, the Flora, the Fauna, or the Force lasting more than 1 hour

Death

A soul wound

Permanent or Long Lasting injury, as defined above. 

Acceptance of responsibility of any and all beings created or changed through the Force

Avoid Building 15, for the thing it houses is an abomination even to itself. Unless, of course you discover how to give it the release of death. Then please contact the administrator of facility management. 

All of these rules were written into a contract that was enforced by the Force itself through a humanoid conduit.  Apparently one of the Light and Dark mixed techniques that was discovered was for a Force Sensitive to tie themselves to a planet becoming an avatar of the Force on that planet. This avatar can then enforce a force based contract, and can remotely wipe the memories of breaches of contract depending on the severity. 

By the time Palpatine leaves he is not sure how he was convinced to sign the contract but he is glad he did. He is also mentally revising all of his empire plans to make sure this planet, which he finally determines is Melidaan, is protected at all costs and is now central to the reconditioning of initiates and padawans of the Jedi when the time comes.  He will later bring Plagueis to the school as well, with similar results. Though they do continue their more objectionable experiments, they are kept carefully off Melidaan.

For a decade this continues. Light and Dark agree that Obi Wan, and through him his new people, are precious and should be protected at all costs.  Just before TPM starts Obi is drawn to Tattoine, into the slave quarters. He is not a stranger to this planet or nearly any planet on the outer rim but he has never been to this outpost, these slave quarters before.  The Force ensures that he meets Shmi and Anakin two week before the Naboo delegation lands. The Force, so much clearer after a decade of being listened to, whispers that this boy is to be a younger brother and student to him but not yet. They must wait.  He is just as eloquent in this life and explains the Force and his feelings to Shmi, backed by Anakin. 

When Qui Gon Jinn arrives two weeks later Obi Wan is introduced as Ben, a friend of the family. Jinn does not recognize Ben as the student he once left behind. In fact he does not ever realize that he and Anakin are not the only Force Sensitives in the room. Anakin is a bit worried because the Force is saying that he needs to go with the Jedi, but he also wants to go with Obi Wan. Obi wan tells him quietly that just because the Force says go with the Jedi, it doesn't mean he will have to stay with the Jedi forever. 

There is no attack from Maul, as he is intercepted by Obi Wan. The two have a brief chat about what brought Maul to the planet. No one who knows him questions Obi Wan showing up in strange places. Maul is there to find an unfortunate being that had managed to steal from one of Maul’s Master’s smaller holdings. They hadn’t gotten away with much, but had taken a small statuette that he had been planning to donate to Obi Wan’s school for study. 

After the Naboo delegation, Jinn, and Anakin leave the planet, Obi Wan and Maul trek back to Mos Espa.  They find the Ill fated thief, whom Maul sticks in a prison cell on his ship, retrieves the stolen artifact, as well as enough money to buy Shmi Skywalker’s freedom. They do the latter and Maul drops Shimi and Obi Wan back off on Melidaan, where Obi Wan announces that Shimi is the mother of their newest kin to Nield, Cerasi, and a visiting Xanatos. 

Everyone just kind of rolls their eyes and goes back to what they were doing, baring Xanatos.  This was far from the first time that Obi Wan had adopted someone, or increased their family abruptly. The darksider wanders over and begins to flirt, heavily, with Shmi. 

Side Note: I picture Shmi to be about early 40’s at the time of TPM.  If Xanatos had lived he would have been 37, so it could have worked. 

Obi Wan assures Shmi that Xanatos wouldn’t hurt her and would stop if she wanted him to. Thus assured she starts to flirt back, is slightly awkwardly because social norms for a slave are very different from that of freepeople.  

Obi wan announces he is going to their new brother and leaves, going back to Coruscant for the first time since he arrived at Melida/Daan.  He arrives as Qui Gon Jinn is proclaiming his intention to take Anakin as a Padawan. The entire council is surprised when a redhead in his twenties just wanders into one of the most secure chambers in the temple, and not through the front door. In reality every Jedi learns as an initiate how to sneak around in the temple, even into the council chamber. It was a bit of a rite of passage to prank the council chamber at least once when in the Creche. Obi Wan certainly remembers.

None of the Jedi in the room recognize him.

So Obi Wan appears, looking amused and like he had just happened to wander into these highly protected chambers that even other Jedi don’t always have access to. The High Council of the Jedi are looking at each other like ‘Da fuq?’ Anakin lights up and runs to hug Obi Wan, calling him Ben. Jinn peers at Obi Wan, having only barely realized he was actually a person when they met in Shmi’s home, whom he doesn’t recognize. 

Side Note: I sort of head cannon Jinn, when separated from his mountain of trauma and trauma responses, is almost an oblivious scientist type, think Wayne Szalinski from ‘Honey, I Shrunk the Kids’. In his element he is a prodigy, but he also would wander around only partially dressed because he had an idea, or in Qui Gon’s case he was distracted by something to do with the Living Force. Still an asshole, but mostly out of obliviousness or his pile of trauma rather than maliciousness.  

The council tries to find out who Obi Wan is or how he got there but he is enigmatic. He just says he is here to pick up his kin, Anakin, if it was time. He directs this as a question toward Anakin, ignoring the council. Anakin gets thoughtful and says that the Force says it is not time yet, but that Ben could come with them until it is.  Obi Wan nods but continues to dodge any attempt to get more information out of him about who he is, making pithy comments. 

Just before the tension this is causing could erupt, the large doors of the council chamber slam open, startling everyone. Quinlan Vos, dragging Bant Eerin, bursts into the room at speed. As soon as they cross the threshold he drops Bant’s hand and practically jumps on Obi Wan with a loud cry of “OBI”. Bant looked at them like she couldn’t believe that he was here. Quinn had been to Melidaan, as had most of the Shadows. In fact, of Obi Wan’s temple friends, it is Bant who he has not had a chance to speak to in person in a decade. She is Temple Bound as a healer.  

Obi Wan grumbles fondly about how Quinn gave his identity away. He had at least four more pointed answers, designed to make Qui Gon Jinn burst a blood vessel. Why yes, Obi Wan is slightly bitter about the whole abandoned in a war zone, why do you ask?

It isn’t until Bant sobs Obi Wan’s name that anyone realizes who is standing in the chamber. Qui Gon get even more agitated seeing the padawan he abandoned being clung to by the shiny new prophecy child he found.

My new favorite picture ever ❤️

perfuma: i don’t have a seat

scorpia: you can sit on my lap

perfuma, blushing: thanks

sea hawk: i don’t have a seat either

mermista: stand then