What If, When Petunia Dursley Found A Little Boy On Her Front Doorstep, She Took Him In? Not Into The

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Craziest hcs for commander cody or hcs no one would expect for him please & much thankyouness🧡

Craziest headcanons for Commander Cody (or hcs no one would ever expect) lmaoooo I don’t know if these are crazy but they’re what I got

Commander Cody is absolutely the funniest Commander there is

Going from that, it’s because he’s unhinged. Everyone would expect it to be Wolffe with his teeth, Bly with his lovesick tendencies or even Fox with his deadpan humor, but Between having to deal with Obi-Wan “I’m going to flirt with every enemy I have and lose my lightsaber” Kenobi and Anakin “violence mwahahahha” Skywalker, Cody had to compensate

Alongside that, he was Obi-Wan’s Commander when Anakin was still a Padawan so at that point, it was either babysit Anakin or be just as unhinged to pull him back

Anakin still can never get anything past Cody

His raised eyebrow has Anakin spilling secrets faster than anything Obi-Wan ever could have done

Cody hates tea. He hates it with a passion and it’s only because he’s friends with Obi-Wan that he doesn’t automatically spit it out

That being said, since Anakin also hates tea, whenever Cody thinks Anakin needs a punishment, he’ll just give him tea and raise an eyebrow

He still does it even when Anakin is a General

Cody started kicking droids when he had to save Obi-Wan from an attack and he had no blasters and a broken hand

It was worth it

Anakin jokes that he was part droid since it never seemed to hurt him and he replied back with “I mean you could with your robotic arm”

Obi-Wan had to discourage Anakin from punching droids

Cody eggs him on when Obi-Wan isn’t looking

Cody knew about Padme and Anakin’s secret marriage within the first week he met Anakin

He let Anakin know with a “I hope you treat her well” when Anakin finished his knighting trials

Cody made sure that Rex was put Captain of the 501st because he knew Anakin would watch his back

Also he wanted to see how long it would take for Rex to break out of the fold of not being good enough because of his blonde hair

Cody once put itching powder in Wolffe’s blacks when he got back from the Malevolence incident to distract him and get him out of his room

It worked

Cody had a black eye for two weeks

Wolffe thanked him later in the war for it because he didn’t know if he would have continued on or tried to March on with his Pack

Ponds tried to explain to Mace Cody’s humor only for the man to say “I see”

Cody made sure to never joke around Mace so that Ponds would seem crazy by his General

He ended up breaking that silent dare when Boba tried to attack Mace

He scooped up the cadet (Boba’s not a cadet but he’s the size of one so Cody doesn’t think it matters all that much) and said “sorry cadet but we have a height restriction. No one shorter than 4 feet is allowed near a Jedi”

Boba hisses like a cat at him and tries to scratch him

“I’m older than you!”

“I’m taller than you.”

He ended up bringing Boba on the ship to avoid the Chancellor from putting him on trial

Boba didn’t appreciate it until Cody gave him a gun and took him on a “specs” mission

It wasn’t a real mission but Cody wasn’t gonna tell Boba that

“Shoot those droids and well leave when you’re not angry anymore”

They didn’t leave till 6 hours later

Boba tried to run away 12 times during his stay with Cody and Cody caught him all 12 times

The 13 time, Cody just gave him a blaster and said the 212th will be there for him if he needs it

Boba didn’t leave despite the opening

He now hangs in the vents and protects the ship when they’re on the ground

Cody owns a handmade slingshot

He uses it to pelt Rex and other clones when he’s bored or annoyed at them

He used it once on Fox and Fox got him back with his own slingshot

He once stole one boot from each of his batchmates at the beginning of the war after they got their paint on it

He wears them when he feels nostalgic

He stole one of Rex’ when he become Captain of 501st

He used to jump out of ships when Anakin was a Padawan to help teach him to catch him before he would splat on the ground

This is why Anakin does it to Rex because he thought since Rex is close to Cody, he wouldn’t mind

Rex does mind

A lot

He never figured out that Cody was the one to ingrain this habit in Anakin

Cody would still jump out of ships if the 212th and the 501st work together

Cody can do a handstand and can even balance on one hand

He believes this to be his greatest achievement

Cody likes to window shop

It’s inconvenient to do when they are at war but if there’s a shop nearby where the 212th is stationed, he’ll get souvenirs for his batchmates

Cody does not get paid yet he still somehow has credits

This is because he made a deal with Hondo to give him credits and he’ll tell him where the best rum is

This is why Hondo kidnaps Obi-Wan a lot

When Cody heard about Obi-Wan “dying”, he didn’t believe it and just told Rex to tell him when Obi-Wan is back - after all, it was his shore leave

The first time Cody met the Bad Batch was on Kamino and it was on complete accident

He ran into them with Nala Se and from their face, he could only assume that she was about to decom them

He stepped in

She let him train them for two weeks to improve their scores and during that time, he got them to work as a team but most importantly, to realize that they are vod as well and vod stick together

He gave them Fox’ and his own personal comm number in case they ever needed anything

He also makes sure to include them in his souvenir gift list

(He’s also the reason Crosshair is a Swiftie skjskjskj - I’m sorry I had to add that in)

He considers Echo and Fives his little cousins due to Rex adopting them and spoils them whenever he sees them

Meaning he tells them all the best prank ideas and covers for them and gives them any item they ask for when they meet

He is the reason they got away with dying Rex’ hair blue

As well as Anakin’s

And Obi-Wan’s

But he’s too smart for them and switched their bottles with his and they ended up accidentally dying their own hair when they targeted him

Cody will barge into Fox’ office randomly when he’s on shore leave and forcibly get Fox to rest

He’ll bribe the other Commanders with alcohol when he comes

Thorn is an expensive Vod though and demands more than alcohol

He is the reason Cody had to start a little black market within the GAR

All that just to spend time with Fox

It’s worth it every time

Cody once tried to matchmake Bly and Aayla at the start of the war because he couldn’t stand their lovesick looks

Turns out they have been dating since Bly got assigned to her and they just are lovesick with each other

Cody almost lost his lunch when he realized

Cody likes to check up on his batchmates when he can

And his batchmates’ Generals

And his batchmates’ General’s Padawan

This is how he was able to talk to Barriss before she did anything risky

He got Gree involved and they got her reassigned after being made a knight to a post where she can help clone medics with civilians and Vod

It wasn’t much but it was enough for her to feel like she is doing something right

He tries to check up on her when he can though Gree is the one she mainly talks to

Cody once convinced his batchmates to eat a bug after Anakin kept doing it as a Padawan

Cody also once drugged Obi-Wan when he stayed up a consistent 78 hours on a campaign

Cody has a count of how many times Obi-Wan has lost his lightsaber and his robes and has flirted with the enemy

Cody once punched Quinlan Vos in the stomach because the Jedi snuck up on him

Obi-Wan laughed

Quinlan got him back when he accidentally dropped one of Cody’s bottles of rum for Hondo

They had a prank war for a solid 7 months before Fox shut it down because he got caught in one of Cody’s brilliant ideas

On the bright side, it revealed Palpatine as a Sith

On the down side, he ended up losing control to the chip and being knocked into a coma for 4 months to finally gain back control

Yea that’s all I have ( @here-comes-the-moose if you don’t mind, i borrowed your HC of Crosshair being a Swiftie and mentioned it here)

Feel free to add your own if you want

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Ppl who only ship in canon

Every time I see Lana I say very quietly to myself “Let’s go lesbians”

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Fanfiction is becoming people’s primary form of entertainment right now because most media right now is so cheap, bland, recycled, and sponsored by people who love money more than the source material. Fanfiction is written for free by people who genuinely love what they’re writing about. That’s why it’s better. That’s why it’s more satisfying. Fanfiction is a home-cooked meal made for yourself and for your friends. Media today is junky fast food spoiled by too much grease and the knowledge that the people producing it are being criminally mistreated and underpaid. 

The story of a generation. Comes to an end.

Daensa Week: Day 7: Free Choice

I’m a total sucker for fics where Harry is dark and gets sorted into Slytherin, but I’m also really disappointed with how Ron and Hermione are treated in them

So: dark au where the trio is sorted into Slytherin

Hermione, who wants to use knowledge to change the world

Ron, who wants to finally be free of his family’s shadow

Harry, who wants to be great, to be admired, to be free

The teachers adore quick, clever Granger, but Severus worries when he sees the way she eyes the restricted section, how her mind is filled with deadly recipes and the ways to use them

The purebloods learn not to badmouth the halfbloods, not to bully the muggleborns, because Hermione knows forbidden magic, Hermione knows the untraceable poisons and the painful curses-and Hermione knows how to avoid being caught

No one outside of Slytherin pays attention to Ronald Weasley, so quiet compared to his brothers, and that’s a mistake

Ron casts his first dark spell and the power takes his breath away, Ron sinks into the comfort of blood rituals and makes outlawed sacrifices to forgotten gods

Ron wonders how his family could abandon this happiness in favor of a flickering light

Harry, the chosen one, the special one, the abandoned one

Harry looks at the light, looks at the people that did nothing for him, and dives into the dark

Lockhart dies drinking poison, Snape finds the trio huddled around Peter’s body, the aurors that find Umbridge’s remains vomit, and the Wizarding World doesn’t notice

Voldemort rises and does not face an old man and a group of do gooders

Voldemort rises and faces a witch with a brilliant mind and no taste for mercy, a wizard that delights in bloodshed and manipulates people like he moves chess pieces, and the broken, bloody boy that’s won their loyalty

Voldemort falls