Trick?

Like this?

tumblr will always be a better website than twitter because you can only retweet a tweet once, whereas on this website if i really like a post i can make my followers scroll past it twelve times in a row

Which wolf clipart?

this fucker:

I call it Lumpy Kiba and I’ve seen it used for car decals, stickers, clipart, traced with varying degrees of obviousness by artists of all skill/experience levels, I’m pretty sure I saw it in some small local company’s logo once.

here’s the original still from Wolf’s Rain (which is not a lot less weird-looking, but it looks fine in a stylized anime where it’s supposed to be), which I saw early in high school and ever since have had to live with apparently being the only one who knows that all these people just fucking traced an anime wolf.

it’s like the goddamn wilhelm scream of lazy art, once you see it you will never unsee it again, and it’s everywhere. and you can always tell because it’s frankly a pretty mediocre trace of an already wonky-looking wolf, so like. you can tell.

here it is on two different bumper stickers (two of MANY, just google ‘howling wolf bumper sticker’ and at least 70% of the fullbody ones will be Lumpy Kiba):

jewelry:

clipart collections that REALLY show off the Lumpiness compared to silhouettes referenced from actual wolf photos:

random art, including my personal favorite, a watercolor where the artist could just as easily have looked up an actual photo of a wolf but chose Lumpy Kiba instead:

a tattoo:

and THIS mcfuckery where he went through the whole process of sketching and refining to make it look like he was drawing a wolf from scratch (the gods know what you’ve done, jon harris):

anyway Lumpy Kiba is the bane of my existence but if I point it out I sound insane so I’m glad I had this opportunity to curse you all with the burden of this knowledge.

#funguary day 1, Mycena subcyanocephala! Or Blue Bonnet mushroom. A newly discovered mushroom from Taiwan - it’s only been seen about 8 times.

But what about clothes?

i’m just over here like love isn’t a pyramid where romance is at the top and friendship is at the bottom…. it’s a soup…. different ingredients but all delicious and necessary for a truly fulfilling meal… 

Some people can’t handle different skin colors. I don’t think furs will help.

I feel like a whole bunch of human aesthetic problems could be solved if we just re-evolved fur

Tuesday:

Why do all these you tubers want be to join a werewolf magazine?

gender fluidity

Before COVID shut the library down, I was helping a little boy and his mom find books.

“What do you like to read about?” I asked. “Dinosaurs!” This is common request, but can mean different things, “Okay. Do you want a story about dinosaurs, or facts about dinosaurs?” “Facts.” I took him to the dinosaur section (567.9) of the juvenile nonfiction. He picked out a couple books, and I asked him if there was anything else he was looking for. “Do you have anything on DNA?” I had to think about that for a second. “I think so…but I’ll have to look it up.” The boy beamed, “I want to find out how DNA works, so I can bring them back!” “We just saw Jurassic Park,” his mom explained with a smile that did not waver when she added, “We didn’t learn anything.”

Have you written a book? I need a book from this.

Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.