Hey Babes Quick Reminder That EVERY SINGLE Thinspo Or Body Check Image You See On Here Is Either Insanely

why does it feel embarrassing to have any other ed than a restrictive ed?

(I apologize if this is rude to you, I don't mean to be rude or shame or bully anyone who struggles with non-restrictive eds it's just how I feel about myself. I'd rather say I struggle because I don't eat (enough) rather than saying I struggle because I eat too much and binge.)

TW (things my parents have said to me)

my stepfather said that he programmed the scale to show a higher number for my mother in order to motivate her and to show a lower number when I step on it so I don't lose any more weight. then he says "your cheeks are getting fatter. we need to stop eating as much as we do." at dinner I ate less (not because I got my shit together but because I physically couldn't because I binged before) and he said something like "you're done already? weird kid"

"your face has gotten fat. are you allergic to something or do you just not move enough? yours kinda looks like that of your mom now."

after dinner I put all the things back into the refrigerator and we have something like white chocolate spread and my mother said something like "they're always empty super quickly" and my stepfather said "yeah that's because she (he meant me) keeps eating them non stop. that's why her cheeks/face looks bigger/fatter" to which my mother chimed in with "yes, she is getting chubby cheeks" (I couldn't find a good translation for the German word "Pausbäckchen" or "Speckbäckchen" but it basically means either the cheeks of a child because they tend to have more roundish cheeks or the cheeks of a pig I imagine) and then my stepfather said that I needed to ride the bike more often and I'm like bold of you to assume that riding the bike made me stay "thin" haha no while I was in school I was able to restrict but now I'm home 24/7 and it's literally impossible to restrict🤡

"we should give you a scale, your face is getting really fat. you can tell that you don't ride your bike to school anymore."

(because of the amount of noodles) something like "I thought that we haven't cooked enough noodles but we should all eat less. especially her (meaning me)"

my mother always chooses the stuff for food that is the smallest and my stepfather said : "we have to give her (me) also just half the portion, her face has gotten fat. especially because she doesn't ride her bike anymore. she has at least gained 5 or 6 kg but she doesn't notice that because she doesn't weigh herself."

"your legs have gotten fat. you should do something about that"

my stepfather bought crisps and told me that I could take some up to my room because "I could use some meat on my ribs" so that he could tell me again that I need to lose weight.

my mother :"her face has gotten fatter." my stepfather :"Yeah because she just lies in bed all day and doesn't move at all"

my mother pointed out once again that my face has gotten fat and idk who said it but I heard someone say that it suits me.

went on a walk with my parents and they once again said that my face and legs have gotten fat and my stepfather then said that I should do sports and lose weight so that I'll still be able to fit in my chair and at my desk.

come on a walk with us so you will get the shape you had when you were still riding your bike

in conclusion

shit hurts. that was a lot of damage.

I hate that eating disorders are romantized and glamourized

being poor is traumatic. even if you’re not homeless or starving. never being able to get anything nice for yourself, never being able to go out to eat without feeling guilty, never being able to do anything fun that isn’t free, making you housebound in bad weather because you can’t afford to go to a cafe or a movie. it takes a toll. being poor under capitalism makes your life a waking nightmare. this post must be reblogged by everyone.

all i do is over caffeinate myself and function incorrectly

Currently 2 of my former friends (I don't consider us to be close because we don't talk anymore lol) posted these on insta and they're both super skinny like every time I would see them in our former school I would be so jealous and only stare at their legs and the way they moved. They always seemed so light and carefree.

At work there's a woman even skinnier than them and every time she walks by I also get super jealous. Everyone around me just seems to have their shit together and then I'm over here lying in bed doing absolutely nothing except disappointing my parents with every second that passes, stuffing my fat face at home and also at work. Like can you imagine that I just go to the store on the opposite side of my workplace and buy stuff that together has over 1000 calories

I rlly need to start getting more active. not only on tumblr but also on a daily basis. like more steps. more dancing. more basically anything. if I want to lose weight that is like no. 1 requirement yet all I do is lay in bed. I'm so tired and sick of looking the way I am. I hate myself.

wear your favourite outfit with your tallest shoes. order that ridiculous drink and ask the server to add espresso. run that extra mile and see the river. make your favourite breakfast and add more flavour. clean your room with ghibli music in the background. do your homework with your feet on your desk. live life to its fullest extent, but don't push off your responsibilities. find your balance. dont settle for mediocre. take care.

If you can't bear the thought of going through the rest of the week, take it a day at a time. Don't count how many days are left until the weekend. Make sure you make through this day. When you get home, make sure you take care of the body who carried you through the day, feed it, clean it, watch something that makes you feel happy and wholesome, then let your muscles slowly relax into your bed. Don't think about the next day - think that you are done with this one and be proud of yourself for doing so. And let go, slowly. Allow yourself to drift off. You've taken a big step today and now it is finally over. The future will come, yes, but your rest should come first so you can face it.

you don’t need to be skinny to be beautiful!

now, me on the other hand