This Is How Les Misérables Went Right

This is how Les Misérables went right

Valjean: give me a place to stay please and thank you also I’m stealing your silver

Bishop: bitch you could’ve asked

Valjean: :0

Fantine: please don’t send me away for having a kid

Foreman: how bout I do.. anyways

Javert: hello Monsieur Mayor you look familiar

The mayor, sweating visibly: uh man idk what to tell you

Fantine: k well my life fucking sucks

Valjean: where’s your child

Fantine: *dies*

Valjean: wow rude

Valjean: *accidentally finds Fantine’s child* woah

Thenardier: you can have the child I don’t fucking want it I mean give me money or you can’t have her

Valjean: wow rude

Cosette: k you’re my dad now I guess fair enough

Valjean: I’ll take very good care of y- IT’S THE FUCKING POLICE RUN CHILD RUN

Cosette: *under her breath* he’s better than the Thenardiers

Javert: I’m sad can the stars fucking help me find this bitch and arrest him

Gavroche: life is good woah

Marius: *is sad because he’s alone*

Les Amis d'la ABC: hey marius do you wanna be friends

Marius: no

Cosette: damn I’m pretty now

Marius: damn she is pretty *proceeds to stalk her for over a year*

Éponine: hey marius you’re cool oh you like another girl ok then

Valjean: *is kidnapped by some random dudes that just so happen to be the Thenardiers while marius watches* wow rude

Enjolras: marius we’re gonna build a barricade are you with us

Marius: fuck if I know

Gavroche: hey where’s my parents

Some Guy: in jail

Gavroche: cool

Marius: I’m in love with you

Cosette: I’m in love with you too

Éponine: wow rude

Éponine: *proceeds to dress up as a boy so no one will question her presence at the barricade* extra? me? no

Lamarque: *dies*

Enjolras: wow rude

People of France: *build barricades* yas fam this gonna be lit

Bahorel: *dies*

Mabuef: *dies*

Jehan: *dies*

Éponine: *dies*

People of France: maybe not so lit *abandons Amis*

Amis: wow rude *dies*

Marius: guess I’ll die

Valjean: bitch no

Grantaire: *@ enjolras* so it looks like it’s just you n me ol chum

Enjolras: fuck this shit *dies*

People of France: aw, that’s so sad :((( they’re all dead :((( if only :(( we could’ve :((( helped them :(((((((

Javert: guess I’ll die

Marius: ok all my friends are dead wow rude

Cosette: let’s get married

Marius: k

Valjean: marius I’m an ex convict I stole bread but don’t tell Cosette k bye

Marius: k bye wait what

Marius: cosette your dad’s an ex convict he stole bread

Valjean: marius you had one job *dies*

Cosette: :0

Amis + other dead people: *singing about freedom they’ll never see*

Valjean: wow