Bahaha! I love reading everyone's comments. They're heartwarming and funny. 😂 Thank you all so much for your support! ❤️❤️
I have ch 4.5 ready too, but I'm waiting for the right time to upload it. :}
Another request finished! I'll be uploading it in a couple of hours, (presumably in 5 hours).
It's for the requester who wanted yandere Diasomnia (Lilia) with a weaker fae reader. ^o^
Just to reassure those requests here, I will get to them some day. I'm doing first come, first serve kind of thing and the request from the Wattpad version was first so.. Thank you for your patience! ^^
Requested from Wattpad.
Gender-neutral.
Angst.
Word count: 800+
---
Liyue- a nation of commerce. There, everyone is always up to something- be it for the good of the land or for their own selfish needs. And that soon attracted other people from other parts of Teyvat, wanting to get something- anything- from their journey to there. Everyone there are always smiles and flattery, but that is only when the dark sky- that is only lit up by the stars and moon- is blanketing their dirty business. No one really cares about what another does in the harbour as long as it doesn't affect them in the long run. Heck, they couldn't care less about who they were talking to unless they were someone of use to earn more fortune for themselves. They won't even bat an eye if someone- who they have never heard of- suddenly comes and beg for help.
-
"Hey, (Y/N), I bought a new book that I think you might like. It's from your favourite author too!" The second son of a wealthy family, Xingqiu, came to greet you at your usual spot-- right at the top of a mountain that faced the sea, the water gold due to the sun setting for the day and to let the night deal with the unwanted business dealings.
He sat on the grass and leaned on a stone, a small smile on his face as he looks up at the sky. It was a beautiful set of orange and yellow-- much like his eyes. With a minute passing by, he takes a breather before looking down at the book in his lap, beginning to open the new book. "I have been waiting for the next volume to be published, always going to the bookstore and stay for hours." He chuckles. "You don't know how many times the lady at the bookstore questioned me if I wanted to check the other books instead."
"It was a tempting thought but if I were to be distracted, who knows? I might miss my chance to buy a copy of it if ever came-- which it did," he says, looking at the first word of the first page. "I suppose you want me to read now. Haha, I remember how you always pester me to hurry up so I could start reading the book."
"Oh look, I'm prolonging the read even more, haha. Then, I shall read the book now," he said. This time, he stops speaking and reads the book all the while smiling, never once had it faltered away in hopes to not make you break.
Once he finished reading, he just stared at the back of the book, his smile not reaching his beautiful, golden eyes as he was drifting off in his own thoughts. In front of everyone, he was all smiles and the perfect son who was well versed in many things from poetry to martial arts. Only his dear friend, Chongyun, know how wicked he could be. But even if he was his friend, he had never seen him break down-- not even during your funeral.
It was a silent plea for help that he wished he picked up sooner. And since then, he hated himself for how useless of a lover he was to you. He always promised that he would protect you and in no way would he let harm come your way but in times of desperation, he wasn't there. So much for that promise, he thought bitterly.
He looks at the stone he was leaning against and read your name that was engraved on it. It was your stone where your spirit lies for eternity. He saw it best to have you buried here as it was one of your most favourite spots to run away from the excitement of the city and to have a little moment of peace, reading a book. He would often accompany you as well and would often lay his head on your lap as you read out loud or to yourself when he wanted to read another book.
He wished he had done something more to keep your warmth forever, but he wasn't a fortune-teller to know when you would die. He wished he was though. Now, he was left in the cold with nothing but your memory to give him more heartache.
A tear finally slips through his smiling face, breaking that smile that everyone knew. One tear. Two tears. Three. More and more kept coming that he couldn't wipe all of them away and he bit down on his bottom lip to try to stop the sobbing sounds that left him. "Why? Why didn't you tell me? I, I could have done something!" he cried, not showing his eyes as he continued to stop the tears with his arms. His smiling facade broke away and you were the first to witness it from your stone. He hiccups, choking on his own tears. Even when minutes passed, his tears did not stop and he soon buried his head in his arms, using his knees as support.
"Please come back.."
---
Fluff.
Word count: 1.1k
---
You were either too dumb to notice or purposely doing it-- either way, Albedo didn't stop in his attempt to court you. However, he was getting pretty impatient and irritated at how you dismiss his approach.
"(Y/N), don't you think this flower is beautiful?" he asks, eyes trained on the flower in his hand. You turned your head towards the blonde and stare at the flower. "Yeah, I guess.. Why are you asking?" As a knight under the command of Mondstadt's Chief Alchemist and Captain of the Investigation Team, you were assigned to follow him outside the city's wall and to the outskirts of the region.
Apparently, an adventurer from the Adventurer's Guild had stumbled upon a ruin that had been sealed away by a pile of huge rocks, and since the Knight of Favonius' takeover of the ruin, it was your duty to look inside the ruin for anything. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it is something. Although, you didn't know why you were the only one that Albedo wanted to come in his search, or did you?
You have seen the way he looks at you; his face was stoic as ever but his eyes held a warmth that was never directed to anybody else-- not even Sucrose who stays by his side more than you. But, you refused to return his feelings. It wasn't as if you didn't have any mutual feelings towards the alchemist, you just thought it would be fun to act dumb. You want to see more from him; you want to see him grow more annoyed at every of his failed attempts to court you.
"I suddenly thought of you. Don't you think it suits you?" He turns to stare at you with his cerulean eyes, showing you that same glimmer filled with hearts. It was one of his many approaches. You laughed, dismissing his way to flirt with you. It's cute, really. "You speak as if I'm dead." Ah, there you go again. His eyes narrow slightly and something that looked like disappointment flash in his eyes before he returned to his stone-faced look.
"No, you aren't.." His eyes returned to the flower and then tossing it off to the side at random. "My apologies if it sounded that way." He walks deeper inside the ruin, leaving you to trail not too far from him. At this point, you weren't sure if you had saddened him but since you didn't know, you huffed a smile and followed quietly. Was he finally at his breaking point, upset that things always failed to go the way he wanted it to go with you?
If you want a straightforward answer, then it's yes.
-
"Are you sure you should be continuing to ignore his interactions?" Amber asks, sitting across you while both of you enjoy lunch at Good Hunter's. The Outrider had caught wind of the changes with the Chief Alchemist not too soon he started to boldly ask you out fo a meal in a more discreet way. "Hm? What do you mean?" you ask, feigning idiocy.
The brunette sighs. "You've seen how Sir Albedo looks at you, don't lie!" Amber says, taking a bite out of her sticky honey roast. You remained silent, watching her eat to a point that made her awkward. Was it time to throw in the towel and go along with his attempts? It has been prolonging for too long, after all. "Uh.. (Y/N)?" You blinked a couple of times before your attention was on the female.
You laughed. "Sorry, I don't understand what you mean." You gave a closed-eyed smile at the female. No, now is not the right time to kick the bucket just yet. If you did, you won't have the chances to look at his frustrated look when every time he fails and gets a laugh out of it. There is no fun in that. And you were one to be remembered by how much you seek fun and laughter out of things.
Amber stares at you defeatedly, brows slightly dipping. "Whatever you say.." You laughed. "Don't think about it too much and ruin your pretty little head. Just eat your food." You rested your face on the palm of your hand. Amber stares at you, raising a brow before returning her energy to munch on the food, quickly forgetting the conversation.
Afterwards, the Outrider had to separate from you, bidding you goodbye for now. You turned on your heels, presumably heading towards the headquarters. You hadn't seen Albedo at all today and wondered if he's out somewhere. You chuckled at the thought if whether or not he'd try his luck again but to only fail.
Unknowingly, the person of question approaches you from behind while your guard was down. You yelp as he grabs your shoulder and turn you around and backing you against a wall. It happened all too fast and it showed on your face, eyes wide as you comprehend what just happened.
You blinked twice and soon, your focus was on the alchemist, Albedo. He had one of his hand on the wall- besides your head- and stare at you with a tight lip. "Huh, Albedo? What do you--" "I like you." The word came out so easily that you weren't sure that you heard that right. Yeah, you know that he likes you but to boldly confess? You didn't expect that from a man like him.
"S, sorry, could you repeat that? I think I've--" "No, you haven't," he said, cutting you off once more. " I like you, (Y/N). And I know you're smart to have caught on so why are you dodging my attempts?" Oh boy, he really has become impatient. It was visible in his eyes that he wasn't going to try anymore.
Blood rushes to your face. "I, uh.." "Don't act dumb. Tell me whether or not you hold any feelings for me. If not, I will back away from you," he said in all seriousness. He couldn't continue playing chase anymore.
When you hadn't said anything in a reasonable amount of time, he sighs and turns on his heels, ready to walk away and forget ever courting you. When you realized this, you took his hand, stopping his and returning his attention to you, looking over his shoulder. "W, wait, I.." You avert your eyes to the side, not wanting him to leave and to never look at you the way you wanted ever again. "I, I like you too.." Finally, the words he wanted to hear from you finally left your tongue and made him smile.
You let go of his hand as he turns his whole body towards you. He then cups your face between his hands and brought your foreheads together, forcing you to look at him. Heat rushes to your face by ten folds at the closeness. "I'm happy to hear that."
---
Fluff.
Word count: 1.1k
---
Amber was, no doubt, the best at gliding and deserved the title of "Mondstat's Gliding Champion". You were exceptionally skilled as well, but you would praise the girl more than boast about yourself.
"I have to have a license?" you ask the brown-haired female in front of you. She nods. "Yes, even though you are very good at gliding, we do have to have a gliding license if we want to freely glide," she says. "Ah, so is there any way to get the license?" you ask.
The brunette nods her head. "Let's meet up in Windrise in about an hour since I still have another task to finish. I'll be your instructor," she says. You nod and so, in about an hour, you met up with the Outrider at the specified location.
"Woo, the wind is great today!" Amber exclaims, a knuckle resting on her hip. "Alright, are you ready?" She turns to you. You nodded confidently. "You'll do just fine, I believe in you," she says. "I'll he waiting at the bottom, okay? Meet you there!" The female waves before gliding down to the meeting point.
You took a deep breath in. Doing the test felt more pressuring and scary than you had thought and would prefer to fight the dragon.
Once calm, you jumped off of the cliff and spread the glider open. The glide was smooth and you mentally grin to yourself at how wel you were doing. However, unbeknownst to you, there was a tear in your glider.
When you got close to Amber, that is when the tear widens and throws you off balance. Amber gasps, seeing the ripped glider and reached her arms to catch you. "Gah, (Y/N)!" You closed your eyes as you fall unsteadily down. Luckily, she did catch you and tumbled down with a thud. "Nngh.. Hey, are you okay?" she asks, underneath you.
Opening your eyes, you were faced with her chest. With a gasp, you hover above her, a light dust of pink masking your cheeks. There was also one on hers. The two of you stare at each other, the gentle wind rustling the grass was the only sound that was making.
The atmosphere became too unbearable for you and noticed that you had been staring too long. "Oh, uhm.. S, sorry." You push away from her, standing up. "It's alright.. " she whispers-- a bit unlike her.
You extended an arm and she shyly took it, standing up herself. There was yet another awkward silence, both of you averting your gaze from the other, yet kept hold of each other.
"Oh, ah, we should call this off for another time.." she says, her face growing a darker shade of red. "Ah, okay.." There was silence for a few more seconds before she removes her hand and bid you bye for the day. "Well, that was awkward," Paimon says beside you, almost cheekily.
It was almost a week since you guys last chatted-- almost a week since that awkward scene that never stopped replaying in your head. You two had crossed on multiple occasions, but Amber was always the first to look away, making you think that she disliked you and wanted to show the space between you two.
The way she avoided you made you upset and so, when she was walking past you one day, you pulled her to the side to talk. "What do you need, (Y/N)?" she asks, although she wasn't looking straight at you. "Why are you avoiding me?" you ask. "I, I am not avoiding you.. Just busy, is all," she says, fiddling with her hands.
"Yes, you are. You aren't even staring at me," you say. Even when saying so, Amber did not look at you. Sighing, you say, "Amber, please, look at me. It hurts me seeing that you are openly avoiding me." You look down.
Hearing this, the girl finally looks to you. "Listen.. I, I like you," you confess. "And you avoiding me is not something I like." The girl's heart fluttered and raced. She became shy. "Well, I, I don't like you!" she stutters, face flushing red. Your heart felt like it was being squeezed as you watch her run away hurriedly. "Fufu, you got rejected!" Paimon comments.
You remained silent, deep in your own thoughts. She truly was trying to make that gap obvious, wasn't she? You kind of regret telling her how you felt, but it really did make you upset that she was avoiding you.
"But it's not over yet," you mumbled. Paimon looks at you quizically. You look towards Paimon and grin before walking off towards the opposite direction where the female left.
You decided to give her some space for a couple of days, having it to be your turn to avoid her by any means. You could tell that she was staring at you every time you past her, but paid no mind to it. That was how it went until one day where you pulled her once more to a place where no eyes could watch. Your floating companion wasn't there with you, giving her food to stay put wherever she may be.
"I-- (Y/N)?" Amber calls, being held between the wall and you. "I will tell you this again- I like you, Amber," you say, confidently this time. You could see it in her eyes that she was taken aback. "I, I.." She looks away before finishing her words. "I don't like you."
"Really? Then, why don't you look me in the eyes and say it?" you say, face showing seriousness. The confident and outgoing Outrider became shy underneath you. When a good amount of seconds of silence went by, you sighed and turned away from her, ready go walk away. Seeing this, she panicked and grabbed hold of your sleeves. "Ah, w, wait!" she stutters. You looked over your shoulder and see she was a reddened mess as she looks at the ground before her. "I, I, uh.."
You were honestly going to wait for her to say it, but the cute look on her face made it seem impossible, so you took this as her swallowing back what she said and kissed her.
Her eyes widened at the sudden kiss, but soon melt into it, allowing herself to be pushed against the wall. The kiss was soon broken and you stared lovingly into her eyes, a smirk on you face. "I knew you'd come around if I leave you."
"Be quiet!" she flares shyly, looking away. You smiled and kiss her cheek. "I like you, Amber," you repeat once again.
"I, I like you too.."
---
Requested from Wattpad.
Gender-neutral reader.
Fluff?? Angst??
Word count: 600+
All rights reserved.
---
It has been many years since your first encounter together. At that time, you two were young and did not know what it meant to love another outside of your family.
When you two first met, he used to go by Ajax. You two bicker like the children you were. But when he suddenly disappeared to only the Divine knows, you feared that you would never see him again. Such was a heartache, but didn't quite love him. Again, you were young.
When he came back, you felt relieved. You prayed every night that he was safe and would return safe. However, he came back as a different person. He was a monster feared by the people he used to call neighbours, but you did not turn away like the others. You stood by his side. He was grateful for that and showed you the treatment you deserved in doing so.
It was then that you realized, that you have fallen for the once young boy. And so, you continued to stay. No matter what may lie ahead the two of you- be it an obstacle- you two would get through it together.
Fast forward to when he was eighteen and made up the last of the eleven Fatui Harbingers, he confessed his feelings. It was a joyful moment and wondered how much wonderful it would be when he asks your hand in marriage.
At that moment, you vowed to yourself that even though he was a monster in the eyes of others, you would love him all the same and welcome him to your home with open arms. If he was to go through something, you would be there by his side. If he was feeling down, you would be there to cheer him up.
Such was a beautiful story to tell.
-
"Ajax?" you called. He hums in response, pressing your back closer to his chest, resting his chin on top of your head. "Do you remember the day you proposed to me?"
He hums again. "I do," he said afterwards. "It was months ago, yet I still remember the feeling of the sun at that day," you continued. "It was warm.. Nothing that I have ever felt before."
Ajax listened to you quietly and let you play with the ring that wrapped nicely around his finger. An engagement ring.
You smiled at the ring, wishing that it was a marriage ring instead. It was silent until you spoke again. Today, the sun shone brightly through the window like that day, warming your home. It was a perfect day. However..
"Ajax?" you call his name once again and this time, you turned your head to look at him. Today, you seemed to talk endlessly but he does not care, wanting nothing more than to hear your voice as he dwells in your comfort.
"I love you." You smiled, closing your eyes. Ajax felt himself on the verge of crying, but he told himself that he should stay strong and give you this eternal moment full of happiness.
You looked like an angel underneath the sunlight. Ethereal.
"I love you too," he says back. He wraps his arms around your torso tightly and buries his head in the crook of your neck. "I love you so much, Ajax." You move your hands over his, repeating the words he would later long to hear.
He dares not speak, afraid that if he does, it would come out croaked and give away the hint of sadness, although his shaking shoulders goes unnoticed by you.
You sighed, the smile not once wavering as you leaned into his warm embrace-- not that you could even feel the warmth.
"Once I wake up.." you spoke, eyes feeling heavy as the light in them starts to dim. "Let's get married."
~♡~
Requested from Wattpad.
Gender-neutral.
Fluff.
Word count: 1.7k
---
You sat on the cool, green grass, watching blankly at the birds that flocks by every now and then before sighing, leaning back against the big ol' tree that was about Mondstadt's symbol at this point. It was an awfully slow day with not much excitement going since the traveller from who knows where fixed the whole Stormterror chaos. But honestly, you were quite enjoying the peace that has been restored in the City of Freedom that allowed you to slack off, closing your eyes and heaving a soft sigh.
Unknowingly, a cheeky bard crept up to your person, silent as a mouse. You wouldn't know how he would do it when the squirrels' feet are pitter-pattering the grass beside you and up to the tree.
With a hand reaching to your shoulders, too cold for a day such as this and too pale for a normal human being, your insides leapt out of you and made you stupefied for a brief moment. "Ehe, I didn't know you get scares so easily, (Y/N)~" You turned your head, eyes wide from the fright and a mix of disbelief at the number one bard of Mondstadt. "I was going to spook you with a 'boo' but it seems that you are quite sensitive." He giggles and you look down to his feet and see that he was using his Anemo to move closer to you undetected.
"Don't do that ever again! I thought you were a hilichurl," you breathed, calming your racing heart. He sits beside you, crossing his legs. "Sorry, sorry, I promise I will not do it.. For a while," he adds and you glared at the male. His hands shot up in defence, giving you a close-eyed, mischievous smile. "Anyway, what are you up to?" he asks, moving onto another topic.
"What does it look like?" you ask with a bored expression. His eyes look to the side at the vast green around. "Uh, playing hide and seek?" he purposely plays the dumb card. You were not the least bit amused. "Do you see anyone else around?" you questioned. "I was just resting. There's really not much to do other than looking at the animals at play." You closed your eyes and leaned unguardedly against the tree. You were sure that no one else will pop on by and if there was, you were sure that Venti would be the first to spot. He had a faster reaction time than yours after all.
Venti starts to hum a tune that was most likely made up on the spot since he didn't bring his lyre. It was good just like the rest of his songs and always had that drowsy effect on you. It helped since you just wanted to sleep if there was nothing else to do.
When Venti notices you were about to drift off, he completely stops and turns to you with a cheeky grin and tapping your shoulders repeatedly. "Hey, hey, (Y/N), you want to play hide and seek tag?" he asks. You were shaken up from what could have been your sleep and stare at him with a raised brow while looking annoyed. "Seriously, Venti? Can't we play once I've slept?" "Nope! You will just sleep until the sun has set, leaving me bored."
"You can always sleep during the night so get up and let's play!" He tugs on your sleeves. You groaned. "Venti, take a look around you-- there is literally no place to hide except those hilichurl camps." "So we'll use them as hiding locations too!" He grins.
You stared at him in disbelief, but upon seeing his bright smile, you could do nothing except sigh and accept. "Alright." "Yay! Okay, okay, I want to hide first!" he exclaims, getting up. "You better not peak~" You roll your eyes but did as told, covering your eyes and hearing him flee. You counted up to thirty-- enough time for an Anemo vision wielder such as himself to find a decent hiding spot.
"Alright, ready or not, here I come," you say loud enough and hope it reaches the male. You started looking around the tree but later started looking elsewhere when he wasn't hiding there. It was a good thing that the hilichurls from the camps were dealt with so you and Venti could play without getting into harm's way.
When you went to one of them, your eyes and ears quickly moved their attention to a green hat that rested behind a rock, making sounds of laughter. Well, it wasn't the hat that was laughing but rather, the person wearing the hat. You tried desperately hard not to break into a peal of laughter as you watch him crouch behind the rock.
Slowly, you crept up to his hiding spot, the soft rustling of grass under your feet barely audible, the sound of animals helping it fade from the male's ears. "Boo!" You put a hand on his shoulders, looking down at the bard. "Gah!" He turns his head to look over his shoulder. He felt his own heart race, not knowing you were approaching. "You scared me!" "You deserve it for scaring me earlier." You crossed your arms, grinning at your victorious approach.
"You're a terrible hider, Venti. You forgot to take your hat off," you said, pointing to your own head to point his own. "Ah, I totally forgot." He laughs, taking his hat off and looking at it with a smile. "It also didn't help that you were giggling." He sticks his tongue out and scratches the back of his head. "Ehe."
"Anyway, I guess it's my turn now?" you say, your words sounding more like a question than a statement. He nods his head. "Mm. You better not give away your location~" he says, turning around and putting his hands on his eyes; counting down. You quickly made a dash away from him, heading towards the big tree. You looked around for a good hiding spot, not wanting it to be obvious such as a hilichurl camp; that would be the first place he would definitely look into.
A sudden idea had struck you and you stared at the tree, eyeing its sturdy branches. "This place would be a good spot." With that, you climb the tree, aiming to go for the highest branch. Upon the highest branch, you could peek through the leaves at the sun and at your surroundings below. Surely, this was the best spot to look out for Venti.
You spot him leave the camp that he hid, now on a mission to find and touch you. You concealed a laugh, putting your hand on your mouth although it shouldn't matter since you doubt he could hear you from where you were.
Full of confidence, you propped yourself to lean against the tree, legs dangling off on each side of the branch. This would take a while, you thought to yourself and close your eyes, full of confidence. Closing your eyes was the biggest mistake because the next time you opened them, the sky was a mix of red and orange. "Hah? Did I fall asleep?" you half-asked yourself, moving your legs so that they were both dangling off on the same side as you rub the heavy feeling from your eyes.
You were still at the same spot but Venti was nowhere to be seen. You looked around at the nearby camps but to only see that there wasn't even the slightest movement to be seen. Were you left alone? Did he get bored and leave you there? No, that does not sound like Venti at all.. Well, maybe-- if he was playing a prank.
Suddenly, sounds of rustling leaves from above you were heard and then, "Yes, you did." Venti pops his head close to yours, upsidedown as he grins at you. "Ah!" Startled at the sudden closeness and scare, you fell backwards-- falling off of the branch.
"(Y/N)!" Venti extends a hand and in doing so, you stopped falling midway to the ground. He used his Anemo and slowly guided you back up to where you originally sat. You stare off with widened eyes, too slow to comprehend what just had happened. "H, hey, are you okay?" Venti asks, putting a hand on your shoulder.
Apparently, that was all it took to shake you to function as before. You lightly hit his chest. "Do you plan on killing me with a heart attack?" you questioned, eyes not reflecting amusement. He awkwardly chuckles. "Sorry, I didn't think I'd scare you."
You sighed. Seeing his face, you couldn't stay mad at him for too long. "I thought you left," you confessed, changing topics. "Eh? And never get the chance to see your adorable face sleeping? No way!" He flies to sit beside you on the branch, completely forgetting what he just did. "You watched me sleep for how long?" you questioned, raising a brow. "The moment I found you! It didn't take long since you fell off the branch when you were sleeping," he says. "It was a good thing that I saw and caught you in time."
"I fell off?" you repeat to which he nods. "That's when I found out that you were sleeping." You sigh. "Thank you," you said, making the male all smiles at the words of gratitude. "Hehe, anything to see you sleep!" He smiles, closing his eyes as he does so.
"Anyway, I'm getting hungry so I'll go home," you said. "What do you want to eat?" "I can join you?" he asks, eyes reflecting the sky when it turns dark-- full of stars. "Well, it's the least I could do for being saved twice from my death," you point out in a light tone. "Yay!" he cheers and guided you and himself down the tree. "I could really go for some dandelion--" "No." That one word made him pout, staring at you with puppy-like eyes. "You will have homecooked food. Not wine," you said. He sighs defeatedly. "Alright.."
---
Dottore with short drabble “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”
Something angsty pls? Thank you!
Synopsis: Can you escape the prison you made?
(A twisted Cinderella story. The girl was covered in cinders because she was fatally addicted to drowning in flames.)
Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, violence, death
(A/n): To be honest anon, I didn’t know what the word ‘drabble’ means until I googled it. I uh...hope you don’t mind the length :>
-----------------------
You fell back against the cold hard floor with your arms bent and head turned sideways. The stinging pain spreads across your cheek. It burns. But your mind was still trying to register what had just came into fruition.
Why?
The thought was so foreign somehow as if you could hardly believe he was doing this. But then the scene plays in your head again. You froze, your gaze enlarged and clueless while staring at the pale ground as it slowly begins to darken in the seeping movement of his menacing, haunting shadow.
"Insolent woman, you wretch!" He spat in a disgusted tone, "How dare you speak to me in such demanding manner? Have I already told you, only talk when you have something important to say?"
You didn't respond, rather you merely let the strands fall in front of your vision as you gingerly pressed your hand against the place where he hit you.
I…don't quite understand…
Dottore glowers down at your hunched form. He was never a man known for the virtue of patience. This man, the one who calls him your husband, you learned a long time ago to not meet his eyes as they would signal a hint of dominance amidst his authority, especially during moments like these. You came to feel his eyes instead, they were usually intense and full of wrath, sometimes crazed and curious while looking at his finest creations. He always loved experimenting in his labratory. After all, it was the only thing that could truly make the madman smile.
What is it that I'm missing? Where did I go wrong?
And you would do anything to obtain at least a fraction of the love he had left in his heart.
He marches onward with heavy footsteps, paying no mind to your well-being, "Tch get out of my sight. I don't have the time to entertain with anymore these theatrics."
At the sound of him leaving you darted your attention towards him, "Wait, come back. Come back, " you plea softly, "Hector…" But he ignores your call. The back of your fiance disappears behind the door and slams it with a resounding thud. He was gone. You couldn't save him.
"No," As a result, you burried your face into your palms and cried.
“I'm sorry.”
…
What is love?
Being raised in one of the most prestigious bloodlines of Fontaine, a life filled with riches since your parents were well known scholars throughout Teyvat, they provided you and your family with everything you needed. From exquisite dishes to priceless jewelry, yet even among those riches you never did find an answer to your question. They were tangibles and short-lasting, eventually leaving you with nothing until the glass of your heart was filled empty. They seemed to have cared more about their fortune along with the brightest child of their family line, your brother, a male heir, someone who fulfilled their expectations where you couldn't do so. And because he was able to give them what they wanted, he was loved.
I see, love is conditional.
Realizing that you possessed no talent to achieve what your brother had accomplished, you came to accept that you were undeserving of their love. Love was for the smart. Love was for the gifted. Love was for everything you are not. There was no place for your kind and thus you locked yourself up in your bedroom chambers along with your fragile heart where no one would try to find you, picking up the books upon the shelves and getting lost in their fantasies.
They told you many beautiful things about the world and many reasons why it was so tragic. Because they weren't real. The story begins with a princess who was a kind-hearted soul, deprived from the care of her evil stepmother and dreams of marrying a prince from a land far far away. They often end on a happily ever after with the princes finding her one true love. You've never seen anything like it. Where two people, despite the struggles they went through, loved each other unconditionally.
Unconditional love only exists in dreams.
Or so you thought to believe.
One day a man marched right at the doorsteps of your mansion. He was a student coming all the way from Sumeru Academia and had high hopes of building a business partnership with your father. The man was declined of course, you watched from the garden bushes as he was sent off back into his carriage. He stops abruptly and turns his head ajar to catch your figure, his inquisitive eyes were both striking and sharp. Like thorns of a rose that was ready to prick anyone who dares to come close. Even so, they made a very lasting impression.
Red eyes.
It was the first time that someone had looked your way.
Couple of months later, the government had arranged a grand ball where all nobles would gather and commit to building their social circle. Useless events. There was no reason for you to engage. While your parents were occupied with the latest gossips and your brother surrounded by fathers who were eager to marry their daughters to him, you snuck outside to the balcony and hid away from the crowd. Quiet at last. And as things should be. The moon was your only friend because she was just like you; half empty. Maybe that was why you still had a glimmer of hope for the other half to be filled.
Part white, you inquired, pristine and untainted. From far away it looked similar to snow.
"My, how pleasantly surprising."
While the other part was stained with black cinders.
You glanced over your shoulder to see a man leaning against the pillar. His mint coloured bangs were slicked back in a trendy fashion, complimenting the white suit he adorned himself with. The golden chains hanging around his ebony boots dangled and clanged with each step he took forward until the light finally reveals his face.
"You seem familiar," you say while squinting your eyes, "Are you the person my father rejected back in February?"
He quirks one brow and you were afraid if you had offended him. But before you could utter an apology, the man splits his lips into a toothy grin and bursts out into a maniac-like laughter. He was completely insane, you thought to yourself. Though he paid no mind to your discomfort and continued to dwell in his amusement, "Hahaha straightforward, I like it! So what if I am? Is it a requirement to be a noble for me to simply have a chat?"
"And if I may ask why?"
"Hmmm, why?" The man reaches for the balcony and presses his back there. He threw his head backward before drilling his ruby gaze into yours, "I too am not fond of annoying crowds. Those snobbish fools thinking they're above everyone else just because they have a couple of mora when that is all they are worth. It's almost too hilarious for my own good."
You could tell there was disdain in his tone. Mainly towards your father who were one of the many unkind nobles of Fontaine and was only liked because of his success. Gripping your hands upon the stone railings, you looked down at the distant trees below while the wind rustled them apart, "I can't deny that," you say dissapointedly, "It's common for nobles not to associate with lower classes as it could potentially ruin their image. Though I may not have been there but I'm sure you had much to offer in terms of your brilliance, erm, Mister…?"
"Hector," Hector placed a palm on his chest with a polite bow following suit, "Hector Dufour-Lapointé. It is a pleasure to make you an acquaintance Lady (Y/n)."
"You know my name?"
"How could I not?" Hector smirks lazily as he danced around you, "I saw you before hiding behind the rose bushes back in your estate. Quite curious why you didn't attempt to say hello."
He even remembers that too. You fiddled with the fabric of your dress, "My apologies. I'm not use to socializing so much."
“Is that so? I think you're not giving yourself enough credit," he complimented while shrugging, "This is much more entertaining than hanging in that insufferably crowded room, it was an unexpected occurence to meet you here of all places. However, I must say time can fly if I'm able to enjoy myself."
You shifted away from his stare, "You flatter me. We've only been talking for a few minutes."
"I have yet to realize it then" Hector's cheerfulness remains at stance despite your gloomy response. He leans forward like a curious child and tosses you a question, "Then allow me to ask, what brings you out here Lady (Y/n)? I don't see any reason when your family are such highly respected people of Fontaine."
"I'm not like them!" You retort instantly, causing the man to glance at you with skepticism, "I mean, I have nothing to do with them and they have nothing to do with me. That's just how it is. They already have Clement after all…"
Why am I telling him this?
"Ah your brother I assume. Yes so I've heard much about his genius mind. There were a few instances where he and I collaborated at Sumeru Academia," Hector speaks as if regarding to his unpleasant memories, "Although he never said anything about having a sister."
"We're not that close. And I'm not very fond of him," you confessed bluntly.
"Neither am I," Hector agreed with a scowl, "He claims his position using the knowledge derived from history books but never tries to think beyond the norm. That ignorant mindset of his will surely be his downfall one day."
"Ignorance can lead to anyone's downfall. If they turn a blind eye to the truth, so much can be taken from them," you paused shortly from rambling too much, "That's what I read in books at least."
"As expected of your lineage," he sighs whimsically, "Such avid readers."
"Well my family prefers documents and research. I've gone through them too but I will always love reading fiction."
"Ha! Seems you really are trying to be different from the rest of your family."
Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours, you had already forgotten about the cold breeze despite your dress being less than ideal for the outdoors. The man, although he can be a little to blathering at times, was more than what seemed to be on the surface. At first you thought of him as someone here to take advantage of your relations to your father but he seemed so sincere when listening to your stories, so eager while expressing his thoughts and even made you laugh a couple of times. You didn't realize that the clock had already struck twelve as the guests were preparing to leave but you just weren't ready to do the same.
"Until next time (Y/n)," he takes your fingers and pressed a kiss on top of them, though you were more struck by how he addressed you without honorifics, "I look forward to speaking with you again."
A warm smile graces your lips as you cursty, "Likewise Hector. Thank you for listening to me. I know I must have taken a long time."
Hector sneered but you already learned that it was simply his way of expressing amusement, "Hardly. I was thoroughly entertained."
When your parents found out about your meeting with him, they made it clear that you would never see him again. Hector Dufour-Lapointé is what he calls himself but the real name behind this man was Hector Valliere who came from a village hidden in the west of Fontaine. Rumours said that he was chased out of his hometown by an angry mob, claiming him to be a madman conducting unethical experiments on humans. Shortly after his arrival in Sumeru, he abandoned his past identity and replaced it with a new one in order to enter the academy under legal supervision. Associating with a man of a suspicious reputation would only cause harm to your family's name. Though you could barely care much about their reputation. There was nothing for you to benefit from it.
Few weeks have passed and you evetually gave up on the thought of hearing from Hector. They were only fleeting moments, nothing more. Your routine would stay the same as you kept on plucking more books off the shelves, killing whatever time you had. However the activities you used to enjoy somehow lost it's flair and there would be a slight pain in your chest whenever you turn to a page with the princess as she is surrounded by her friends. What exactly changed? Your family still treated you the same. Did you suddenly grow bored from doing the same thing everyday? Why is it that you feel much more lonelier despite being alone for so long? It was hard to tell in a singular perspective. If only there was someone here to give you some insights on things you couldn't see…
A silver bird lands by your front window and you nearly fell out of your chair as it flapped their wings violently. A machine?! They dropped what seems to be an envelope within the thick bushes before taking off and buzzing into the evening sky. You switched off the lock and lifted the glass within a single movement, snatching the piece of paper so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. Hastily you opened it. Both curious and cautious of why would anyone send you mail in such a discreet approach.
Chère Mademoiselle (Y/n),
I can only imagine the shock of your expression once reading this letter. I'm only writing to you since I assume that your father had already told you those nasty rumours about my past. No matter. I trust that you have a good head on your shoulders to not prejudge people using such miniscule details. I wish to speak with you again. Unless you have other plans staying in that stuffy room of yours, meet me behind the clock tower at 11:00 p.m. Don't be late.
Bien à vous,
H.
"It really is him!" The happiness spreads all across your features as you clutched the letter to your chest. For some reason, your heart wouldn't stop racing. It was a simple yet thoughful action on his part but despite how short his greeting was, every word held the weight of a thousand sparks, "I…I can't stop smiling."
And without hesitation, you prepared to leave. No one noticed your absence.
-------
It was only halfway where you realized that Hector didn't give many details redgarding why he planned this sudden event. You caught sight of him standing under the roofs with his hands hidden behind his back. He had on his signature lopsided grin, brows uneven as he glanced at you casually.
"How very punctual, were you so eager that you couldn't wait?" He teases.
"I was surprised when your bird knocked upon my window," you inform, "Is it something urgent?"
"Not at all. I merely wanted to catch up with old times," Hector tilts forward to emphasize his suggestion, "Care to indulge me for a bit?"
You crossed your arms, "Then what is it that you're hiding behind your back?"
"Hmm?" He hums, "You mean this?"
"Ah!"
Roses. A bouquet of bright red flowers were presented to you, nicely wrapped in fabric. In the language of Fontaine, recieving them could mean multiple of things and you couldn't help but feel hesitant despite his thoughtful gesture, "Why are you giving me this?"
"Is it so wrong for me to be a gentleman? I thought it would be best to prepare you a gift after you put all that effort to come out in such a late hour," Hector mused to himself, "Especially when you had to make sure no prying eyes would catch us."
You let out a small laugh before accepting the bouquet, "I wouldn't go as far to say that."
"Oh?" Although it was hard to see, Hector managed to catch a glimpse of your flushed cheeks hidden behind the flowers. A darken smirk climbs onto his face at the inviting thought of what it could mean, "Tell me more."
The whole night you both spent walking around the empty plaza with only the stars as your guide. They paved a silver path reflected in the horizon above, free flowing like one of the many watercolour paintings hung in your chambers, uncertain where they may lead but you followed them regardless. If it weren't for Hector's inivtation you might have never known about the parts of your city due to the restricted lifestyle you lived. He listened to every one of them. The stories you had to tell when there was no one for you to talk to and the complaints about your brother whenever he wanted to snitch on your actions just to get the praise out of your father. You expressed your frustrations when speaking about your incompetences, joy after reading a good fairytale book written by your favourite author, there was so much to say that you were worried if Hector soon grew tired from them.
"Go on. I'm listening."
And your heart flutters again. Suddenly everything felt so light with each step you took, it was as if you walked across the stars in the sky rather than the heavy pavement of the ground you called your home. But even if happiness was a bliss, it tormented you. Because companionship made you realize how poor your were all along. That you had everything yet you had nothing, slowly withering away like the roses you held in your hand. Convinced that your existence was worth nothing more than nothing itself. Doomed to be dismissed and forgotten. Rotting away...Hector stays by your side as you cried softly into the night.
From a distance the bell rings and echoes just like the time before during Fontaine's grand ball. Hector shows you a secret route so that no one could find you.
"Will you write to me again?"
The request was so innocent, purely from genuine intentions and devoided of anything he had in mind. Hector would always laugh in these situations when things have gone unexpectedly yet pleasingly his way but held back knowing that it would be foolish to waste such a priceless opportunity. And so he gave you his smile, one full of secrets where you had mistakened it as a promise, "Of course my dear."
Every night you could no longer fall asleep since he had occupied your thoughts completely. Sometimes you'd dream of him and their tales would unfold similarly to the ones you have read. It gone to the point where the maids would have to wake you up during late afternoons due to the dramatic change in your sleep schedule. Though, you didn't care what they did to you. As long as no one found out about your secret rendezvous.
You never thought that there'd be a day where you would voluntarily give up reading your beloved fairytales. They were now replaced by a stash of his letters that have been accumulated over the past few months. You read them each day, pacing back and forth within the walls of your room, whispering his sentences as if he were the one saying them to you. He made you feel special. You were addicted to this feeling. Eventually you managed to memorize his words by heart.
The pages of your diary were filled with notes. Like your very own fairytale carved into reality. From the rose petal, now dried, to the hairpin he snatched from a distracted merchant and a single strand of his hair you found within your cloak after a warm embrace, all of these items, a remnant of the man you loved were taped up in these pages. Sometimes you could even feel his prescence because it was all you needed. It didn't matter if Clement threw insults about how worthless your existence was, your parents could lock you in this prison if they wanted to but they shall never take away Hector from you. Never. You swear it. He was your whole world and the prince who saved you from a life made of aching emptiness. You would do anything to keep him by your side. Anything to gain his affection.
Anything.
"I had a feeling that you were the culprit dear sister."
Your arms stutters as they clutched tightly on the scrolls you took off from the shelves. The light crept into the room like arms reaching out to clutch around your ankles, warning you for trespassing. You turned around dreadfully to see Clement pressing his shoulder against the doorframe with his arms folded and a wicked expression aimed at your pitiful state.
"Why…Why are you still awake?" You say in disbelief, "I thought everyone was asleep."
"Please. Not only are you shameless but hypocritical as well. You truly are a dissapointment to our family."
"Wait," taking a step forward, you stopped him before he makes his exit, "I'll put them back. Just don't tell father about this."
But like your parents, your brother was unkind. Clement doubles over and hugs his torso, cackling through his teeth, "Is that how it is?" He swipes his arm up and you see a parchment paper held between his fingers.
"No!"
"Ma chérie (Y/n). I must say all this tenacious effort of sneaking in my letters to your window is becoming more and more tiresome. But of course, you are an exception. I want the scrolls you've mentioned the other day at my lair tomorrow evening. Make sure no one discovers this. I'm counting on you. Cordialement! Hector."
"No…" you whispered, feeling the weight of the world fall upon your shoulders as it shattered apart. Hector. If possible, you hoped that the pieces could just crush you right then and there. Your knees felt weak and a fright takes over but despite your turmoil, Clement didn't show a shred of sympathy.
"So this is why you've been acting odd lately. Pathetic," he flaps the paper tauntingly in his grasp, "I can't decide if I should be impressed or baffled by your actions. A secret romance with a criminal and the bloodline of Fontaine's most respected government associates? Even though you've hit rock bottom, you still decided to dig deeper."
"Clement you don't understand!" Stumbling upon your footsteps, you desperately tried to convey your predicament even if it meant feeding his ego, "Hector is not the man you think. He was shunned by the people of his hometown, treating him as if he were nothing. They…They ignored him! All this time he needed someone to recognize his brilliance, someone to understand." Shakily, you brought your tensed arms to your chest and screamed a silent whisper, "Someone to listen but no one did. He must have felt so alone…"
Clement flinches when you suddenly clutched onto his biceps. When he looked into your eyes, a shiver ran down his spine.
"Hector is counting on me. I'm the only one who can save him. No one else. He needs me Clement, he needs me!"
"Tch."
An ear-splitting scream of his hand against your face echoes across the room. It knocked you out of your stance and you bumped into the table, grunting while the scrolls to tumbled to the floor.
"Crazy woman, I'm embarassed to be related to you!"
While you were still trying to regain your balance, your brother had already ran off. It wouldn't be long before he alerted your parents, the clock ticking away like sand until the final hour leaves you with nothing but an empty glass.
"No," despair swallows the strength away from your legs and you crawled towards where he used to stand, "Don't take him away from me…I need him…"
I can't live without him.
I can't live without him.
I can't live without him.
Tears begin to form by the corners of your eyes as you clenched your teeth. This was no time to cry. Balling your fists, you sprinted out of the room, pushing whatever stood in your way as if you were running for your life.
And if you considered everything else, it wasn't that far from the truth.
-------
"Hector! Hector are you there?" After arriving upon his house, you began knocking on his door aggressively. The lock clicks and you were greeted by an evidently annoyed man gnawing his teeth together.
"Tsk. There better be a good reason-"
"They're coming for us! We have to go. Now. Before it's too late. My father is probably already waking and making arrangements for you to-"
"Enough, I can't even catch what you're saying," He pinches the bridge of his nose while you were still stuck in a frenzy state. He takes a step back and opens the door wider, gesturing for you to come inside, "Get in already. I have a feeling that this will be a long night."
Hector observes intently at the words you tell him.
Not out of concern but akin to the way he watches the insects react when he exposes them to a different environment.
He was a scientist after all. A madman in which you deliberately fell in love with, so much to the point that he was able to feel pity for once. How you trusted him wholeheartedly with all of your vulnerabilities, emotions and secrets like handing him your parts just so he could put you back together again. Tinkering was always one of his favourite hobbies and he couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of pride at the thought of you being completely wrapped around his finger.
Perhaps that was the reason why he loved you. Because he didn't love you. He loved you in parts.
"It was only a matter of time," Hector sighs. He sneaks his grasp into yours, knowing how much it affects you and puts on an invisible mask of deciet, "I already knew this day would happen long before anyone could have predicted it."
"You did?" With worried eyes you gazed at him, "What shall we do then?"
Knowing he hit the target, his lips begin to curl up towards his ears, showing his sharp white teeth that shone against the dim-litted room. Hector asks, "Do you love me?"
A silly question. You didn't hesitate to answer, "Of course I do. I've said it many times."
"Prove it to me," Forcing his forehead against yours, Hector commands in a dangerously low tone, "Kill your brother and only then you can truly be mine."
Your brain sutters, trying to absorb what he had just said. Kill? As in to take a life? It sounded wrong. But...was it wrong if the life belonged to someone who ruined yours?
Dumbfoundedly, you glanced into the bloody orbs of your lover, his black pupils thinning into knives while burning in the hellfire of his true colours. Hector runs a hand from the scalp of your hair, down to your cheek before gingerly sliding his fingers at your jawline. He pulled you close and whispered into your ear.
"Are you scared?"
Ah, this wasn't about your feelings. This was about him and your future and there could be no future you without him by your side.
You let your eyelids drop and leaned into his touch, "I could never be scared of you Hector. Whether it is within my power or not, I will make sure no one gets in our way. I swear it."
"Good," he continues to have you feed on his affection, "I knew I could count on you."
-----------
The news of your brother's death filled every headline Fontain had to offer. He was driven off a cliff while making a trip towards Sumeru. No one survived. The remains were so crushed to the point that authorities had trouble identifying their bodies. The only explanation they could come up with by observing the leftover tracks was that the horse must have gone out of control and ended up dragging the carriage along with it.
Ha. Serves him right.
Food poisoning. The vial Hector made was very effective. You made sure to bury it away from your mansion.
With no other choice, you became your family's next heir. Hector notifies you that he would be away for several months to solidify a unique connection with a man hailing from Snezhnaya. You didn't think he would arrive at your doorsteps with so much authority. Fatui soldiers followed from behind as the staff paved a way for them to enter. Your father was clearly displeased by his outrageous approach but he knew he was in no place to deny.
"Upon the agreement between Fontaine and Snezhnaya, Lady (Y/n) will become Harbinger Il Dottore's wife," the Duke announces, "This news will be publicly announced at the end of October."
Dottore? Is that what he calls himself?
As if claiming his victory, Dottore shoots your father a devilish smile. You could feel the dining table shake when he kept pressing his fist against the smooth surface, begrudingly congratulating you both for the new engagement. Your mother bursted into tears.
Was it worth it?
You watched both of your parents mourn silently in their own manner. Perfectly knowing that you were the main cause. But you weren't able to feel any sadness because in the end, you now had everything you've ever wanted.
The inheritance.
Their attention.
But most of all, him.
And when you were convinced that this was your happily ever after, that fairytales were not just beautiful lies for the sake of comfort, you didn't realize you were already living a life made of beautiful lies conjured by your own mind for the sake of your own comfort.
"You're nothing without me."
Dried and calloused hands squeezed around your throat as you flailed your legs against the soft fabric of the carpet floor. He encases you in a straddling position, enjoying the sight of your tortured and clenched face. Hector…no, Dottore hated it when you disobeyed him. He despised it when his creations don't work the way he wanted them to and he had no use for things that are broken.
"G-hka--k..-"
"How many times do I have to remind you to not use my birthname. Do those ears of you even function properly? Or must I fix them myself?"
You gasped for air when he relaxed his grip. Vision a blur, you coughed a few times before he pulls your arm so that you lay flushed against his chest.
"Don't forget who saved you dear (Y/n). Because of me you were able to escape that miserable life you've despised for years. I expect the utmost gratitude on your part at all times, it is only fair that I punish you for not meeting my requirements, don't you agree?" Dottore lifts his hand up to pinch your cheeks, pulling your head to stare at your eyes, "After all, there is no one else in this world who can put up with you…but me."
His words were poison in which you drank like a woman starved. It made you feel numb to the pain the more you drowned in their alluring scent, the taste was sweet, a remedy for the bitterness of reality where the man of your dreams was nothing but a cruel monster. You came to believe that the reason why he treated you so harshly was because he was scared of losing you. You were caught in the trap of what seemed to be love and devotion when truly, you were just a toy to be used at a means end. He breaks you and he puts you back together, over and over again, filling in between the cracks formed in your glass heart with the phrases you loved to hear. Just like how he filled the other holes of your life where no one else did. You called it kindness. He saw it as entertainment.
Most people pay attention to the flower's beauty but they never acknowledge the thorns hidden beneath it's blossom. That is why they bleed. They get hurt. Though, you didn't mind shedding blood if it was for his sake.
Because you would do anything for him.
You would do anything to bring back the memories of Hector Dufour-Lapointé and save him from the Harbinger that ruined his life. Your life. It wasn't his fault. You knew you could change him to what he was before because you were in love with him, that he might still in there. Somewhere.
Right?
…
Please come back.
Time continues to flow like the tears of your dying heart despite yearning for it to turn at the past. Dottore already left the room a long time ago but you didn't. Raising your head away from your hands, you peered at the door in front of you, begging desperately through a chanting record of despondence.
Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back.
Images, they slipped through your fingers, slowly becoming more distant until your mind began to see them as illusions. Dreams. Things that were not real. Telling you that your life was a lie.
"Come back to me…Hector."
Because the man you loved was withering in your memories and you couldn't do anything to save him.
A dry croak robbed you of your breath as you turned to look in the mirror.
Worthless. You were always worthless, it was what your parents told you since birth. It was what you became when he wasn't at your side because without him, your existence was worthless. You lied for him, you stole for him you, took a life for him. You destroyed yourself for him to point that it was hard to believe you were even looking at yourself.
Worthless. It's who I am.
And despite it all, you couldn't obtain his love.
(Crack).
Worthless things don’t deserved to be loved.
(Crack. Crack).
But what if it’s because I’m worthless, that he won’t love me back?
(Crack).
Your eyes jolted open, causing you to gasp sharply. When the sweet lies dispersed in your head and cleansed you of deceit, everything started to make sene. You came to realize why your wish was impossible all along.
Dottore...no, Hector, the reason wasn't because he didn't return your feelings. Neither was it due to the fact that he hurt you through his actions. Nor when he made you cry or scream for help before feeding you with more lies, thinking he would never hurt you again. It was none of those things.
It was because the man you loved this whole time was someone who could love no one but himself.
"Ha...haha," sucking in your breath, a sinister laugh escapes your mouth, "Hahahahahahaha.....!"
Everything was worthless.
You grabbed a nearby hairbrush and threw it at the mirror, watching yourself shatter into a million pieces.
There was only one thing left to do.
------
"Ugh, where is it?!"
It was late into the night where every staff had gone to sleep. The Harbinger fumbles with his keys while standing at the door of his basement as he was too busy proceeding with his research rather than considering the thought of rest. Usually he acted upon them on his own will, performing various experiments for enjoyment. However, ever since the Snezhnayan court had requested him to look into the ancient arts of alchemy, Dottore was forced to carry it out before the deadline approached. Otherwise his position as Harbinger would be revoked.
"What a bunch of self-centered blockheads. Can't they understand that it take quality time to get quality results?"
Most of his important documents were stored on the otherside. Half of it came from his father-in-law's library. He had you to thank for that.
"Ah finally," he mutters, though still dissatisfied, "I should have a word with my butler for misplacing them."
Dottore shoves the key into the lock but instead of twisting the knob he noticed something strange. It was old and had yet to be fixed but somehow he didn't have any trouble adjusting his wrist. Then he saw there were a set of freshly made fingerprints upon the smooth metallic surface. However, the only person awake at this time would be him-
An intruder!
Dottore drops everything to the ground and yanks the door open. He skittered down the stone stairs while cursing under his breath. Using the delusion gifted by the Tsaritsa, the Harbinger activated his lazer-like pillars as he took advantage of their glow to light up the unlit room.
"What in the abyss...?!"
Except it wasn't dark.
"All of these scrolls, I recognize them," without sparing a single glance, you spoke nostalgically towards the bookshelves, "It brings me so much memories..."
Dottore clenches his teeth together as his eyes shone an angry red, you were holding a torch dangerously close to his hard-earned collection, "What do you think you're doing?!" He fumed, "Put that out, AT ONCE! Don't make me repeat myself!
"They're precious to you aren't they?" You finally shifted to face him, "More than me."
"What has gotten into you?" He was about to hurl at you until he saw your torch lowering, causing him to retreat. You were strangely noncholant and he couldn't help the feeling of disturbance. Accepting that he didn't have the upperhand, Dottore decided to use a different approach, "(Y/n)."
The sound of your name falls from his lips. You faltered.
"I'm sorry for what I have done. I know I was dishonourable to you, as your husband and lover, and that you didn't deserve to see me so aggressive. You have every right to express your anger, my dear. I was in the wrong."
It was only a mask. You knew it well. But seeing him with softened eyes and a tone so comforting, made you desperately wanting to run into his arms so he could wipe away your sorrows just like once upon a time. To live happily ever after.
Hector.
Dottore runs his fingers through his hairstrands in frustration and sighs, "However the Tsarista needed me to do something very important and I can't seem to fulfill her request no matter how hard I try. It angers me. If I don't finish this, there would be no place for us to stay."
"Hector..." you sniffled quietly. He looks so much like him right now.
"Can't you see I'm doing this for you?" He consoles, yet his weapons still remain, "I only intended to make you happy and there's nothing I won't do to achieve that. How about I show-"
"Enough."
Dottore froze upon your sudden command. He didn't sense a hint of subjugation and it seemed that you had perfect control of your emotions. How very inquisitive. Did you grow immune to the style of his voice? In such a short period of time? The facade he had on was now replaced with a growling animal-like expression. You looked at him dissapointedly. His Harbinger self returned. Hector was no more.
"Ha, you're the same as always. Even before the time you became a Harbinger. The same man that I fell in love with but it is me who will never be the same again," For a moment you averted your gaze as if trying hard to swallow your own words, "Remember when we first met at the balcony? That I told you my favourite books to read are fiction? I knew they weren't real but deep down, I wanted to believe in them anyways. And you know what? They did come true, to some degree..."
As the memories come flashing back, he defenselessly watches your expression contort from sadness to a calm contemplation and finally, enraged disgust, "But you only ever brought me pain and I'm sick of it!"
Swaying the torch to the side, Dottore flinches forward but he didn't dare to come close when your current state was unpredictable to him, "I JUST WANTED YOU TO LOVE ME," you wail, I just wanted to be loved, bringing a clawed hand against your forehead and trembling upon contact, "It's all that I ask for..."
Dottore narrowed his brows. Perhaps he may have gotten too far.
"But I know it's impossible. The world is a cruel place and there's no point in trying anymore. That is why I'm going to set us free."
"...What do you mean?"
You shut your eyes closed and tossed the flaming torch to the ground. A horrified expression takes over his features. It didn't take long for the fire to begin spreading amongst the room.
"NO!" Dottore yelled powerfully, he frantically darts his gaze at all directions as they continued to flicker and blend into his precious documents. You stood still and watched him grab the ones that were intact, savouring the most he could but they slip out of his arms every time he moved. Dottore glances behind him to see a rising cage of hellfire. Then he turns to you.
" 'Til death do us part!" you laughed maniacally.
The madman looked back with angry dismay, "You're out of your mind!"
Abandoning whatever he held in his hand, Dottore spins around towards the staircase. He covers his face with his sleeve and did whatever he could to prevent the fire from touching him. However, he accidentally stumbled on his footsteps and something fell off the heights, knocking him in the face. He grunts painfully.
"That will leave a scar," you smile while he clutches at his injury, "I can break you too.”
Just like how you broke me.
Knowing that you've managed to leave a mark of your existence on him in someway, you peacefully watched your lover wobble between the hell you created. But the hell you knew was not made of scorching heat and thundering flames. Hell was empty. Hell was a void. This feeling was far too gentle to be considered hell. If he can't return your love, then at least let these caging arms bask you in the warmth you’ve always desired.
Lifting your head, you looked towards the ceiling and closed your eyes.
Ah, this cannot be death.
Woooaahhh, i didn't expect to read smut first thing when i opened your blog but I'm not complaining.😌
Haha, sorry! 😅 It takes time to write oneshots so it'll be there for a while for people to see when they click my blog.
Requested from Wattpad.
Gender-neutral.
Word count: 2.6k
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"Hey, Chongyun, do like doing whatever you're doing?" you ask, balancing the flat side of a pencil on your upper lip. He tears his eyes away from a book he was invested in, focusing his attention to you
"Exorcism, I mean."
"Of course," he plainly answers without hesitation, a bit confused as to why you suddenly brought it up. You look at him skeptically from the side of your eyes before placing the pencil down on the table. "Are you sure you aren't saying that because your family is consisted of exorcist?" you say, "I mean, if my line of family were full of exorcist, I might feel a bit burdened and pressured.. Feeling as if I have no other choice but to carry out the family name.."
He takes your thoughts into consideration, agreeing that it does sound reasonable. "I understand what you are saying, but believe me, being an exorcist is what I love doing," he reassures, and you, not wanting to push the topic further, let it go at that, enjoying another comfortable silence under the setting sun the shone through the windows of the living room.
Chongyun has been visiting you frequently for the past week that him being there wasn't a bother to you now. Well, it didn't bother you at all, it was just that your heart couldn't handle itself whenever he was around; you shyly admit that you have a small crush on the exorcist.
"Oh, right, I--" Just as you were speaking, the front door burst open, causing you and Chongyun to be startled and look over the sofa, seeing another bluenette stepping inside. "Xingqiu, you can't just barge into someone's house like that!" you shout, fuming with a slight anger. "And you'll break the door!"
Xingqiu stood there, looking a bit clueless as if he totally forgot why he came to your house. "Hey, Xingqiu, what are you doing here?" Chongyun ask, setting down the book to the space beside him and stood up, facing the other male. "Chongyun, so you're here again, huh?" Xingqiu asks, not even bothering to greet either the two of you. His eyes started to wander around the place, looking quite worried and something else that you couldn't quite place your fingers on.
"Not going to greet us politely, huh?" you commented with a bored expression. Chongyun stares at you then back to Xingqiu. "Hey, wanna take this outside?" he asks, snapping Xingqui out from his daze. "Oh, right, is.." Xingqiu trails, not wanting to say anything further, eyes hiding something deep within their colours that was covered with great anxiousness.
Chongyun nods silently. "Yeah, it's okay," he says and then turns to you. "Ill be right back, (Y/N)." You nodded quietly, a bit concerned for the bookworm as he looks your way, yet not say anything. He looked out of it and you planned to ask Chongyun once he comes back.
The two males went outside, closing the door behind as they leave. You strain your ears to eavesdrop on their conversation, but the door muffled out clear words, so you gave up, slouching into the seat.
It took no more than 10 minutes for them to chat outside before Xingqiu leaves the premises and Chongyun returning back inside. However, Xingqiu looked somewhat panicked with eyes filled of worry and the other element that you couldn't quite pinpoint. "What were you guys talking about? Xingqiu looked a bit off," you say, eyes following the bluenette back to his spot beside you.
"It's nothing.. Xingqiu has just been having nightmares, is all," he hesitantly says, eyes not looking your way as he utters so. You were quite surprised. Xingqiu? Having nightmares? That was truly new and quite something to tease him about-- but that was something you won't do, since it was something concerning if he looked the way he did.
"Oh, it's getting late," Chongyun comments, looking out the window behind you. "Should I cook you something to eat before I leave?" You shook your head, "The snacks from earlier kind of spoiled my appetite for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow."
He nods and bid you a good night before exiting your house.
You stayed in the living room for a while then cleaned up any mess and locked the front door before going to your room and changing into your sleepwear.
Letting out a tired sigh, you sunk under the warmth of your comforters, burying your face into one of the pillows. No matter how tired you may be, your thoughts did it's usual thing- wandering around aimlessly and thinking whatever it wants to, which brought you to Chongyun.
It was something you think about each night and it never fails to make your heart squeal. You had been picking up unusual behaviours from him throughout the week such as accompanying you everywhere-- be it to your kitchen or outside the streets of Liyue. It kind of made you more confident about confessing to him.
Someday, you'll confess, you thought to yourself and drifted off to sleep, dreaming a happy dream of the potential future if he does happen to reciprocate your feelings.
When the sun shone through your curtains, Chongyun was already at your door, waiting for you to open the door. "Good morning, did you already have breakfast?" Chongyun greets. "Not yet," you answered and move out of the way to let him in.
"I'll go make something for you right now," Chongyun says, giving you one look before heading to the kitchen where you watch him make breakfast for the both of you. It was unnatural at first, but with the amount of persistence, you allowed Chongyun to make breakfast for you each day.
"Thank you for the meal," you say and took your chopsticks, taking a bite before complimenting his skills.
It was a quiet morning, both of you enjoying breakfast. Then, "Say, (Y/N), is there something you want to do before you die?" Chongyun suddenly asks. You look away from your bowl and look at him curiously, though his gaze was on his bowl. "That's out of the blue.." you comment, chuckling a bit.
He places his chopsticks down and closed his eyes, sighing. "Well, is there?" He looks up at you, revealing his cat-like eyes. At that, you knew he wasn't going to let you change topics, not that you have anything else to talk about, and that it was something that most people suddenly brings up suddenly. "Hm.. I don't think so. I mean, I'm really happy with my life right now and being by yours and Xingqiu's side," you say, taking the topic with much thought.
"You're lying," he affirms, catching you with surprised eyes. "What do you mean?" you ask, quite confused at how strongly he believes his words. "There is not one person who doesn't have at least one thing that they want to have or want to do before they die," he expresses.
You weren't sure why he was taking the topic so seriously. He asked you this multiple times before and back then, he just hums in response. But since he pushed the topic on, you have no other choice but to think it thoroughly.
You thought about things that you used to want to do, but they were sooner or later fulfilled. Then, your reoccurring fantasy popped into your head as stealthily as it could: Chongyun reciprocating your feelings. You guessed that it was the only thing left to do in this world-- maybe going on adventures with him as a couple.
Knowing this, your face flushes red-- the same colour when Chongyun accidentally ate something spicy to make him hot. "Hm? (Y/N)?" Chongyun stares at you quizically. "Well, did you figure it out?"
"Oh, ah, uhm.. I-- It's nothing!" you stutter, averting your eyes from him and chuckling awkwardly. Did he possibly know and that's why he was asking? You didn't know. "Can you tell--" You caught him off. "Ah, why are you being so pushy today, hm? Do you want me to say something specific?" you ask. Seeing your sudden burst, Chongyun decided to leave it at that, returning the atmosphere to the comfortable silence to help you relax and forget about what he asked.
"Hey, Chongyun, you haven't been doing any exorcism at all these past few days-- what's up with that?" you brought up, now located in the living room where both of you spend most of the day away doing whatever pops inside your head. "Ah, I just have much free time, is all," he answers, sounding as if he predicted you'd question him about it sooner or later.
"Really? Well, I heard that there was a ghost that's been haunting an old lady's place and many other series of hauntings.." Upon hearing your own words, you gasped. "Wait, could Xingqui's nightmare be linked to this?" You turn your upper body to face the male.
"Oh, uh, I guess..?" Chongyun says and shrugs, not knowing what else to say. You crossed your arms, mentally patting yourself. It was silence after that, doing your own thing as Chongyun does his.
"Hey, you wanna go somewhere?" Chongyun asks, getting your attention. "Sure? Where do you want to go?" You look at him, eyes following up as he stands up. "You'll find out," is all he said and you had no other choice but to follow.
Out on the streets, you both bumped into Xingqui, who looked quite sleep deprived, looking down at the grown below him. "Hey, have you been crying?" was the first thing you say, seeing redness around his eyes. You went to put a hand on his arm, but he flinched when you did so.
He looks up. "Oh, hey.." he greets tiredly. "Xingqiu, are you okay?" Chongyun ask, visibly concerned for his best friend.
Xingqiu was quiet for a while, looking hesitant to speak. "Chongyun, when will you finally do it? I can't stand this any longer and knowing that you're always going there is driving me insane!" He harshly grabs Chongyun shoulders.
"Calm down, Xingqiu." You put a hand on his shoulders, feeling him stiffen for a quick second before letting go of Chongyun. Xingqiu did not act the way he used to be and it worried both you and Chongyun.
The hydro male took a breather, both of you allowing him to do so. Then, "When will you let go?" he whispers, his tone breaking.
Your heart tightened. You did not know what was happening with Xingqiu, but it hurt you seeing him looking like a mess. He wasn't his usual self.
You looked over to the icy male, eyes filled with worried. He looks at you, eyes also filled with the same emotion, yet hiding something else within it.
Sighing, Chongyun spoke, "Come with me, Xingqiu, and you too, (Y/N)." You nodded, and followed, looking over to Xingqiu every now and then whose head was down, hiding the emotions swirling in his eyes.
Soon, the three of you returned to your house. You were confused, but didn't say anything and letting Chongyun speak. "(Y/N), you like me, don't you?" Chongyun suddenly ask, back facing you as his front faces your house.
The air in you felt as if it was punched out. "How did you.." You couldn't finish it. How did he figure it out? Did Xingqiu tell him? You did tell Xingqiu your feelings for the exorcist, but to think he betrayed you? You turn to the traitor. "Xingqiu--" You were cut off. "It's useless, (Y/N).." Chongyun gave a heavy sigh.
"He can't hear you."
You were confused. What did he mean? "(Y/N), I am going to guess the one thing you want before you die.." Chongyun says. "You like me and want to confess your feelings, right? It'll feel much heavy if you don't." He didn't directly answer your question, but he was getting there.
"Yesterday, Xingqiu told me about it and I guess that is the one thing you want to do or else you can't rest."
"(Y/N), do you know why I kept visiting you?" Chongyun asks. You, however, couldn't give a reply, too confused to see where he was getting at. "I was trying to exorcise you."
"What do you mean by that, Chongyun? I don't understand," you say. First, Xingqiu can't hear you and second, he is trying to exercise you? It was confusing and it would be understandable.. For other restless spirits.
Chongyun turns his body to face you, however, his head was the same a Xingqiu's; head facing down. "(Y/N), you're dead."
Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach upon hearing it. It sounded absolutely absurd and you didn't believe it.
Quickly, you turn to Xingqiu and grabbed him by his shoulders, tears threatening to fall. However, when you made contact with him, he flinches. "Hey, Xingqiu, don't play with me right now!" you raise your voice that would be loud to annoy him to break this little prank, but he just stares at you-- or rather, looking your way with a sadded expression but not really at you.
".. Hey, Chongyun, they're in front of me, aren't they?" Xingqiu ask, cracking a sad smile as tears start to trickle his face. Chongyun nods silently.
Knowing this, Xingqiu continues. "(Y/N), I can't hear you or see you.. But let me apologise.. I'm sorry.. It's my fault that you.. Died," he says. "If we hadn't gone to that cliff after it rained, I would still be able to talk with you."
It took a while to understand and recall what he was saying, but the locked memory- the last puzzle to understanding everything- returned to you. That day, you had slipped and fallen, and because at how sudden it was, you panicked and was unable to spread your glider, leading to your death.
Xingqiu has been recuperating from the horror and guilt, having nightmares of the scene he had witnessed that day.
Chongyun was the one to find your spirit bounded to your house and the streets of Liyue being an exorcist and all, so he took it upon himself to make sure you rest in peace. However, since you weren't aware you were dead, it made it difficult for him to make that happen. So, he hung around you, sneakily exercising you when you two hung out in your house.
Tears fall down on the side of your face, now having memory of it, and turned to Chongyun who looked at you with sadness.
Sadness. That was the one emotion you couldn't figure out.
"I.. I'm really sorry, (Y/N)," Chongyun spoke softly, looking at you. "I don't want you to go, but as an exorcist.. And to relieve Xingqui's nightmares.. I, I have no other choice."
"But before you go, I want you to know that I've always liked you.. I was.. Hoping to tell you how I felt, but I guess I can't now," voice breaking as he confesses.
"No.. I, I don't want to go!" you shout and clung onto his shoulders. "I'm not going, I'm not going!" More tears fell faster than it did before as you pleaded to stay.
He places his hands on your shoulders, tears of his own trickling down his face. "Please, wait for me in the next life," he says.
The reason why Chongyun excels than that of other exorcist was because of his energy, and that was something you knew. And so, a stubborn and tireless spirit such as yourself was nothing for him once he got you to awaken and face what was to be your eternal rest.
"Sweet dreams."
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Hello, I'm Mo. Do enjoy your stay~ Inbox is open to questions or a quick chat. ✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙
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