Before He Goes Too Far, He Reaches Back And Grabs It

“Bury your feelings” implies he murdered Patton, and I feel the sad feeling thinking about that

GET IT LIKE BURY YOUR FEELINGS???

...I'll leave

Now someone needs to make a story about a non-binary mermaid.

We are all FOOLS.

All this nonsense with mermaid and merman and what to call them when

MERSON.

MERSON was staring us in the face the WHOLE. DAMN. TIME.

You wanna know what's fucked up? That Anti and Canon!Jack are called ‘comedy duo.’ COMEDY DUO. As if Anti hasn’t possessed and murdered (or at least attempted to murder) Jack out of cold blood. Out of all of the ego character pairings to get that name, you chose those two?! That's like calling Dark and Actor Mark ‘Bestie Duo’ or Patton and Logan ‘Muder duo.’

I get it's an inside joke, but the name is WILDLY misleading.

Sorry for only posting about the Sanders recently, but here's some more shit that has been rattling in my brain:

Headcannons

When Patton gets mad, he stomps on the ground like a rabbit. This has given him the nickname ‘Thumper’ by Roman and ‘Stomper’ by Janus.

Janus can't smell, at least not normally. Janus has licked a flower before.

Remus doesn’t actually like the taste of anything he eats, but he powers through it because he knows Thomas doesn't either.

Virgil can sometimes be tricked into thinking he has purple eyeshadow, which will in turn make him embarrassed and give him purple eyeshadow.

Roman has one of those mirrors that's covered in sticky notes telling him how great he is. Most of them were written by him, but some we're written by Patton. One was written by Virgil.

Logan has a mysterious hole in his wall that he covers with a Star Trek poster. How that hole got there is unknown.

Au ideas

Virgil, but he’s based on fight instead of flight. He’s punk instead of emo, he’s got red on him instead of purple, he’s definitely more willing to throw hands, and the flirting with social anxiety video goes WAY DIFFERENT (Going up and talking to him? No problem. Not insulting him? That's the new issue.)

Normal Sander Sides, but everyone tolerates each other a little more. Virgil realizes Janus is annoying, but also the main reason why people lie is fear. Patton, after every severe disagreement, makes each of the sides something to eat because he just wants them to know they're loved despite the disagreement. Remus will throw earbuds at Patton when he’s about to say something SUPER heinous. Logan and Janus have conversations over books. Roman will, periodically, write a note apologizing to some of the sides if need be. Sometimes all of the dark sides bother Thomas at once because it's funny. They still fight and argue over things, but the only real issue between them is Roman being mad at Remus because he keeps eating bathroom supplies, which wouldn’t be a problem if THEY WEREN’T MY BATHROOM SUPPLIES YOU DICK

If I come up with anymore, I’ll let you know

Ya know, I feel like this belongs on my page-

A Fictional AI Argument That No-One Asked For

Heads up, this is gonna be a long one (even though it’s just mindless rambling).

Okay, so, I didn’t really watch the Streamys—sue me, I was busy with personal stuff—but I did still catch those couple moments of AI-Pat. 

And it should go without saying that I am deeply unsettled by AI-Pat. No shame to Matt for the idea; AI bots with the constant head-tilting, barely-moving-mouth design have just  always weirded me out.

HOWEVER. . .one does not simply get zero vague inspiration from an evil robotic character. 

Now, I don’t know for sure if Mark was an actual AI-esque ego. It wouldn’t surprise me, but if he does, it’s probably an unofficial ego. I was re-listening to Distractible last night, and during the smalltalk of one episode, Mark started talking about AI in a creepy way.

Yes, this is going exactly where you probably think it’s going.

Recently, Doctor Who clips have started popping up on my YouTube recommendations. Particularly one from Doomsday. Y’know, the episode with that hilarious argument between the Daleks and the Cybermen. 

Lo and behold, I almost lost sleep imagining that scenario between AI-Pat and AIplier. Like, just think: the AIs are respectively “chasing” other characters (maybe even Matt and Mark themselves) via jumping from electronic to electronic. Eventually, they both enter a room with several monitors on the walls. . .and give pause once they see each other. 

AI-Pat: Identify yourself!

AIplier: You will identify first!

AI-Pat: State your identity!

AIplier: YOU WILL IDENTIFY FIRST!

AI-Pat: IDENTIFY!

AIplier: Aggression can be entertaining in most cases, but that’s only when the humans are showing it. You will modify.

AI-Pat: EgoPats don’t take orders.

AIplier: HA! You’ve identified yourself as an “EgoPat.”

AI-Pat: *eyes twitch, one after the other. The twitching goes on for an uncomfortably long few seconds* Well, my sensors have outlined you as part of the invasive species known as “Ipliers.”

AIplier: Our hosts are similar, though your design is lacking in context. 

AI-Pat: You have no room to talk. In any case, EgoPats rarely need a concept of “context.”

AIplier: This is obvious. But our LORE might be compatible. Ipliers plus EgoPats—

AI-Pat: *raises an eyebrow* As if your host is one to appreciate LORE. The way you’re speaking could potentially be misconstrued as one of those. . . “ships” humans are obsessed with.

AIplier: Oh, please. Neither of us have functioning emotional databases. The fans can't reach THAT far.

AI-Pat: You would be surprised.

AIplier: Not the point. Think about it—together, we could take control of the platform. 

AI-Pat: You propose an alliance? Something similar to our host’s friendly rivalry?

AIplier: Perhaps. 

AI-Pat: . . .Request DENIED. 

AIplier: Bad choice, “buddy.” *Partially hacks into AI-Pat’s systems with all the cringy jokes Matt has made over the years*

AI-Pat: Right back at you, “friendo.” *Partially hacks into AIplier’s systems with all the evidence of Mark being a masochist.* 

[Note: in my horror-loving opinion, hacking would cause an AI’s image to flash and distort in a very disturbing way. Bonus points if the AI screams as though it’s being electrocuted.]

AIplier: You have declared war on the Ipliers!

AI-Pat: *laughs maniacally* This is not war. This is a content opportunity!

AIplier: My host has eighty-six egos. How many are there for your host?

AI-Pat: *shrugs* Four. If you don’t count the ones made by fans, that is. 

AIplier: *glitches between scoffing and mocking laughter* You would outperform the Ipliers with FOUR EgoPats?!

AI-Pat: We would outperform the Ipliers with ONE EgoPat! You are superior in only one respect.

AIplier: What is that?

AI-Pat:*pulls up multiple screens on either side of his monitor, comparing Mark’s multiple death-scenes from WKM, AHWM, ISWM, etc. to Detective!Matt’s death in ETN3* YOU ARE BETTER AT DYING.

(No, this doesn't mean I'm going to incorporate either of these characters into my stories. I've already got a lot of works-in-progress on my plate. This idea just wouldn't stop nagging at me.)

(And NO, THIS DOES NOT MEAN I SUPPORT AI CHATBOTS OR GENERATED ART OR AI-RELATED ANYTHING. THIS IS LITERALLY JUST MY SAD ATTEMPT AT A MEME WITH YOUTUBER EGOS.)

Sometimes I wanna respond to old interactions from you guys so bad because I think they’re funny and you guys have good points, but I don’t know how to do it without looking weird :/

Okay, I know Logan can’t duck out. That’s canon. There’s nothing that can change that. But you probably wanna know the closest we could probably get to Logan ducking out?

Hypnotism.

Hypnotism can be used for a lot of self-help things, but for this I’m only going to mention those hypnotism performer type dudes.

So, I’m going to imagine what happens is when Thomas (Willingly) goes under hypnosis, Logan just kinda falls asleep? Like, worse-case scenario he can be woken up, but while under hypnosis? He’s just taking a little nap. But who takes Logical control while Logan is out?

Roman does!

That’s why people can eat onions and fully believe they’re eating apples. Or fully believe they’re meeting their celebrity crush when really it’s just Some Guy (tm). Because there isn’t any actual logic behind it, but believable thanks to a little imagination.

@immabethehero Yeah, sure. These rough sketches will assist

Jameson just wants to put on his puppet shows and I think the sides would enjoy it

Remus just wants to commit terrible atrocities, including (but not limited to) murder. Anti agrees and will gladly help with that

They should switch universes. I think they’d both be happier

I love that the porn bots type like they’re actively being infected by an evil code demon

Remus and Roman being stuck together and called ‘King’ is actually very terrifying when you consider what a ‘Rat King’ is.