There is nothing in the world worse than the feeling of helplessness, that you cannot do anything, and you are standing in hell, and you are unable to do anything but silently observe your pain.
Reblog if your blog is boopable-safe so you can get all the (probably new) achievements. I don’t care about notes I just want boops
“Have you…ever been in love?”
Steve blinked. That…wasn’t what he was expecting. Still, there’s only one definitive answer.
“Yep,” he answers, popping the ‘p’. “Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year.” His mimicked gunshot doesn’t even cover how that felt, but he does it anyway.
“Oh my god,” he hears from the other side, “She’s such a priss.”
Nancy Wheeler is a lot of things; priss, she is not. And maybe she doesn’t need him to defend her, but, still, he hums, “Turns out, not really.”
Robin scoffs as if that’s unbelievable, and maybe it could be. Then, she asks, “Are you still in love with Nancy?”
No, is the first thought in his mind. And, well, it’s strange to think his answer would’ve been different at the beginning of the year, as much as he’d told himself he’d moved on back then. But, the months in between have just made him realize that how he feels for her has changed a lot since October. He loves her, of course he does, and he’ll never really get over her. But, he doesn’t think he’ll ever love her like he did again.
So, after a moment, he says, “No.”
Then, of course, she asks the question he’s been avoiding thinking about: “Why not?”
There’s a lot of answers to that question, but Steve…well, he knows the one that’s most responsible, even if it’s been thrown to the back of his mind. He’s never really brought it to the light of day before—if bathroom lights could be called that. But there’s just something about this moment, sitting with Robin on a probably disgusting bathroom floor with his mind still kinda floating, that makes him feel like it’s safe here. They just went through hell—there wasn’t a better time, right?
“I think,” he starts, “it’s because I found someone who’s a little better for me.” He huffs a laugh, “It’s funny, you know? Ever since Dustin got home, he’s been saying, like, you gotta find your Suzie, you gotta find your Suzie.”
“Wait, who’s Suzie?”
“It’s some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend. To be honest with you, I'm not 100% sure she's even real.” Steve shakes his head and kinda wishes he’d thought up a better analogy. “But that’s not really the point. Uh, the point is…I think I already found my Suzie. You know—this person is someone I didn’t even talk to in school, and I don’t know why. Maybe Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me, or I wouldn’t be…prom king. It’s stupid.” He sighs. “I mean, Dustin’s right, it’s all a bunch of bullshit anyways. I should’ve been hanging out with this person the whole time. I wish I did. I mean, they’re so cool and hilarious—I feel like, the past few months, I’ve laughed harder than I have in a long time. And they’re smart, and a dork, but so passionate—you know, they can talk on and on about so many things, it’s amazing.” Captivating, really, but the second it takes to reminisce about those moments are enough to make him realize he’s been rambling for like, minutes, and he’s gotta stop at some point. So, “They’re honestly unlike anyone I’ve ever even met before.”
Steve smiles to himself for a second, his head still feeling a little flighty—but the silence keeps dragging on beyond that. The smile falls a bit, and Steve really hopes he was careful enough with his words. He really hopes he can trust Robin if he wasn’t.
“Robin?” Steve taps on the stall wall between them, the sound echoing through the bathroom. When the silence just gets heavier, it’s with genuine concern that he asks, “Robin, did just OD in there?”
“No.” He breathes a sigh of relief, then hears it echoed, though weighted, from the other side. “I…am still alive.”
Still, there’s something so heavy in her tone, and a visual confirmation that she is alive becomes essential for him. So, shuffling over to grip the wall between them, Steve slides underneath the stall and lands a little to the left of where she sits, alive and breathing. She smiles a bit.
“The floor’s disgusting.” He huffs and glances down at the sailor uniform that has (probably) seen better. “Yeah, well. I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt, so…”
She breathes a bit of a laugh, and, at the very least, some of the heaviness is gone. Alive and breathing.
“What do you think?” he asks her, almost intentionally vague.
“About?”
“Am I in love with Nancy Wheeler?”
“No,” she grants. Then, very decidedly, “But, I think you’re on drugs and not thinking clearly.”
And the look she gives him feels too significant, too weighted, and he really, really hopes he was careful because the possibility he wasn’t is starting to loom over him. He can’t argue that his mind was in stellar shape a few minutes ago, and everything she’s done since then is just working to form a pit of dread in his stomach. It feels like wishful thinking to consider that nothing she’s said has been outwardly accusing, but it’s still there.
Why did he have to say so much?
No, no, right. The drugs. Robin may be right, he probably wasn’t thinking clearly. And, damn it, this may not be entirely his fault but he does not want the repercussions for it.
“Well, I think I’m thinking pretty clearly now.” Wishful thinking, it is.
“You’re not.” Somehow, her expression feels like an echo of his own worries. “Steve,” she starts, and the dread gets worse, “you’re not thinking clearly about this. Look, you don’t even know this person—” Wait, what? “and if you did know them, like, really know them—I don’t think you’d even want to be their friend.”
Steve blinks. That—That’s what she was talking about? How did she even know who he was talking about? He shakes his head, honestly baffled. “Wait, what? That’s not true.”
She speaks again before he could ask what about everything he said was so revealing, “Listen to me, Steve. It’s shocked me to my core, but I like you—” Harsh. “I really like you. But I’m not like your other friends. And I’m not like Nancy Wheeler.”
Well, Steve thought he was thinking clearly, but he is lost. Somehow, this conversation has escaped him within the span of two seconds, and the moment feels wrong to ask how they got here. But, if he’s going to take any guess at her meaning, he much prefers thinking she’s…supportive, maybe. Indifferent, even. So, he doesn’t think of the ball of dread winding through his chest, and he tries to follow what Robin may be saying. “Robin, that’s exactly why I like you.”
And that is the truth, really. He’s never had a friend like her, if they could be considered friends. This summer has carved a small space for her in Steve’s heart, and the past few days have done numbers on expanding that space. She’s funny and smart and definitely not like Nancy Wheeler, wherever that came from. And he really doesn’t want to lose her, not right now. If they get out of this, he wants to be her friend. He wants to know her better than ice cream shifts can tell him.
Robin scoffs lightly as if that’s not what she needed to believe him. “Do you remember what I said about Click’s class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?”
“Yeah?” He nods slightly.
“It isn’t because I had a crush on you,” she says, slowly, as if a plea to make him understand. He doesn’t. “It’s because…” she continues, hesitant in her words, and he desperately wants to know how to make this better because his heart breaks for the expression she has. Then, quickly, like ripping off a bandaid, “...she wouldn’t stop staring at you.”
He blinks. “Mrs. Click?”
A breath of a laugh at that, but her eyes plant themselves on the wall. She clarifies, almost resigned, “Tammy Thompson. I wanted her to look at me. But…she couldn’t pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair.” She looks back at him, with watery eyes. “And I didn’t understand because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor and you would ask dumb questions and you were a douchebag!” She shakes her head lightly and he really is trying to understand. “And…And you didn’t even like her, and I would go home and just…scream into my pillow.”
Steve stares for a second, trying to will his brain back into place, his thoughts to something clear, because something is being said here, something important and—
The puzzle pieces click together.
Oh.
Oh!
“Holy shit.”
“Holy shit,” she echoes.
Unwillingly, Steve laughs. A bark of laughter just bursting out of him because, jesus-–this entire situation is so botched. But her face falls and he immediately stops in a wave of guilt and throws himself at reassuring her. “No, no, that’s not what I meant! I didn’t mean to do that.”
Robin looks away again, shrugs. “It’s fine.”
No, that won’t do. Steve shakes his head, vehemently, and taps her hand. “No, Robin, seriously—there’s been a huge misunderstanding here. I don’t have a crush on you.”
That makes her look back at him, eyebrows furrowed “What?”
“I think you’re awesome, Robin, and super cool and smart. I really want to be friends with you, seriously. But I wasn’t talking about you.” And Steve could stop there, but she just revealed…herself to him and he owes it to her to do the same. He knows how terrifying that is. “I was— Jesus.” He laughs again, brushes a hand down his face. And, still, knowing about her doesn’t make it any less terrifying to say it out loud. “I was talking about, um,” Like a bandaid, right? “...Eddie Munson.”
Her eyebrows seem to go to her hairline, but he celebrates the light that’s back in her eyes. “What.”
“Yeah, we uh—” There’s warmth in his cheeks. This is the first time he’s saying any of this out loud. “I don’t know how it happened, but we ran into each other one day and just started talking and…like, hit it off, super surprisingly. It’s crazy, he wasn’t even on my radar back then and now he’s—” Steve cuts himself off before he can start rambling again, rubs the back of his neck. “I really like him. I was talking about him.”
Robin grins. “Holy shit.” She shakes her head, repeats, “Holy. Shit,” enunciating, as if for good measure. He matches her grin.
“I had no idea what you were talking about.” He explains, “I mean, maybe I don’t really know Eddie, but how do you know that? And then you started talking about Mrs. Click’s…” he mimics an explosion in his head. “I thought the drugs completely fried my brain.”
She laughs, finally, her head falling back onto the wall, and he can’t help but follow her lead. It’s a good few moments before they stop, Robin suddenly sobering to hold a hand, saying “Wait, wait, Eddie Munson? You’re hanging out with drug dealer, total nerd, band dweeb Eddie Munson?”
“Hey, hey, I didn’t say you could criticize my taste, Miss Tammy Thompson.”
She scoffs, sounding just a bit offended, “What’s wrong with Tammy?”
“I mean, she’s cute and all but she’s a total dud.”
“She is not!”
. . .
shinji and kaworu edit 🥺🤭, i barely ever try to make edits so it’s not the best 😭 (props to all those amazing editors out there, y’all are cool af bc editing hard as shit 👊💪)
Its a bit different from the content I usually post, but I hope you guys like it 🥺🤗
“I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to exist any more” sounds mild if you’ve never experienced it, but it is in fact a horrible, violent way to feel.
Asking for help is not easy, I ask for a small donation of only 20€ from each person, 20€ will save my family from death in Gaza 💔 Donate through the link in bio (gofundme) Together, we can achieve our goal within a day and provide crucial support to me and my family in Gaza. Your contribution means everything to us and in these difficult times your kindness is our greatest hope. We are very grateful for any assistance you can provide and thank you for your kindness and generosity in our time of need .
Thank you for your kindness and support of my story..🇵🇸🍉
The campaign was documented by @90-ghost
https://gofund.me/1bdb615f
Help My Two Daughters Escape From Gaza War
Hello everyone..
I am Hadeel Mikki from Gaza, Palestine and this is my husband Waseem Mikki, my daughters Mira and Nadia, My mother Tahani Mikki, and my two brothers.
Here is our story - Ever since the morning of the 7th of October, none of our lives have been the same. Everything in our lives has been disrupted. The first night since the beginning of the war, our home got partially destroyed because of a very close Israeli strike.
Despite the damage, we stayed home for another two weeks until suddenly and without preparation, we were told to evacuate our homes and we’d be in danger. From this moment our endless journey of suffering and pain began.
Throughout this journey, we later Knew that our home of three floors where my family and my uncle-in-law family live. My uncle family of 5 members did not leave our home and it has got bombed directly and completely destroyed and all of them were martyred.
My father-in-law his heart could not bear all this pain and all this grief; so he got sick. He found himself living the darkest of realities and through the scarcity of medicine and lack of medical resources in the hospitals, he passed away.
My husband, Waseem, was very sad, and my daughters missed their grandfather, who used to play with them and bring them toys.
The situation was very difficult for my children, and my eldest daughter, Mira, kept crying and wanted to go and see her grandfather, and she did not realize that he had gone and would never return.
So we moved in with my husband, children, and I, full of great sadness, with my mother and two brothers, who are the only survivors of my family; They are all that I have left, and I hope that we will all escape with our lives outside of war and destruction, and that my children will survive. We do not want to lose them.
Our future has become unknown, our present is unbearable, unlivable by human standards. We’re stuck in a harsh reality each moment. We live in a constant state of sounds of explosions, bullets raining down on us, artillery shells, and warplanes dropping destructive missiles on us every day.
In addition to our ongoing suffering to this day: lack of resources, humanitarian aid, medicine, and food. We can barely find food for my girls, as they eat one meal during the day and spend the rest of the day crying.
This is my daughters enjoying a life before 7th October.
But now my princess Mira stay alone all the time remember her previous life, her school, her friends, our beautiful life, and all places we were visited with Mira and Nadia as a beautiful family and still cry I need my school, I need my friends, I need my toys.
This is the cry of a mother and father. We hope that our children will be given the opportunity to live in peace and security and have access to food and a safe life like the rest of the children of the world everywhere.
Now I am pregnant in the 4th month , and I don't know how I will get the baby, there is no hospitals , no pregnancy care , no food , no clean water, so I am worried about this pregnant with these circumstances.
Maybe this fundraising effort is like a beacon in the darkness, our sole source of hope that we hold onto tightly. I urge the world to listen to my plea and the sorrowful cries of my Gaza kin. We desperately require the helping hand that can dry our tears and lead us to safety.
Your contribution is more than just money; it's a chance to reconstruct life and illuminate a brighter future. Join us in shaping a tale of hope, as we rely on your support to begin afresh.
The purpose of the fundraising campaign
The objective of this fundraising drive is to secure the passage of my family, comprising my husband, two daughters, mother, two brothers, and myself, through the Rafah Crossing to Egypt. Presently, this journey necessitates £5000 per person. This campaign stands as our sole opportunity for survival, and I earnestly implore your aid during this pivotal juncture. Rest assured, I will furnish you with a detailed breakdown of the expenses, vowing transparency, and lucidity throughout.
Breakdown of Expenses
• Rafah/Egypt crossing: €5000 per person (a total of €25,000 for five adult family members)
€2,500 per child (a total of €5,000 for two children family members)
• Minimum living costs: €5000
Vetted by:
In Gaza, humans aren't the only ones suffering; our beloved pets are also caught in the crossfire of this merciless war. This cat may seem ordinary to most, but it means the world to us and our family.
For over four years, it has been our loyal companion and the heart of our home, it’s shared our sleepless nights, work pressures, and even our bed. A friend to our kids and grandchildren, it loved to be with us all, never preferring solitude.
But amid the escalating crisis, the hardships we face have turned its world upside down. Its once-social nature has withered; fear and trauma have stolen its trust. It now seeks isolation, his appetite diminished, his dry food has become scarce, and prices have soared 💔.
What once cost 10 shekels ($2.70) per kilogram now costs 70 shekels ($26.90)—a price hike that only provides enough food for five days. Tragically, our cat endured nearly two weeks without food due to shortages and the overwhelming terror caused by the constant explosions.
Yes, even animals have been paralyzed by fear and panic 💔. With your generous support, we can ensure it doesn’t go hungry again. Please, don’t hesitate to help.
🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉
🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉
@palestinegenocide @queerstudiesnatural @90-ghost @el-shab-hussein @northgazaupdates
@apollos-olives @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @vakarians-babe @90-ghost @fairuzfan
@sar-soor @fallahifag @humanvoicebox @plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural
@commissions4aid-international @international-network @nabulsi @mushroomjar
@palestine @communistchilchuck @northgazaupdates2 @ghost-and-a-half @kyra45
@the-bastard-king @feluka @sayruq @chososhairbuns @commissions4aid-international
@soon-palestine @palestinegenocide @kyra45-helping-others
i know everyone is sick of me talking about my shop but this one is actually important:
this sticker will hopefully be available on opening day (if not, a few days after) and all profits from this design are going to medical aid for palestinians so if NOTHING else, please be there for this one.
Okay, I need to rant. Fuck AI. And I mean seriously. FUCK. A.I. I know I’m probably preaching to the choir here, but more people need to be talking about this, and there’s no point in me saying that if I’m not willing to talk about it too. AI has done nothing but ruin our communities and defile the art that millions of hands have spent millions of hours creating. Fanfiction is a work of passion. Drawing is a work of passion. Voice acting IS A WORK OF PASSION. AI has no passion. It takes the soul out of the things we love and cherish. It steals what we as a collective community have lovingly crafted, and it shatters it to a thousand pieces, spits on it, curses its family, and throws it in a flaming dumpster to be eaten by rats. It is despicable and disgusting.
I won't lie, or pretend I’m a perfect saint. I myself was a user of Character AI until somewhat recently. And as ashamed as I am to admit that, I feel it’s necessary to own up to my own faults. But after seeing the damage it causes, I can’t in good conscience even consider touching that site. Many of us write because it is our passion. Many of us because it is our job. And many of us because it is our *friend*. AI steals the writing of your favorite creators WITHOUT PERMISSION and mashes it together like Frankenstein’s fucked up monster to create storylines that aren’t even fucking coherent. Not only that, but Character AI uses whatever you respond to it with to teach itself as well, which means that the company has access to whatever you chat about, and free reign to do whatever they want with it. They also make absurd amounts of money from it, which in comparison, fanfiction writers, who spend countless hours writing stories for our favorite characters, more often than not charge nothing. And the ones who do charge, tend to have reasonable, if not highly lenient prices for their labor.
Which leads me into another side rant. SUPPORT WRITERS THAT YOU LIKE. It’s really not that hard, it takes two fucking seconds of your time and it makes someone's day. Reblog. Share with your friends. Like. Comment. Just let the writer know that you saw it, and that you liked it. The amount of fanfic writers I have seen get completely discouraged from writing because of lack of engagement is astounding. I’ve seen several posts on Tumblr or Twitter or Bluesky talking about creators that were incredibly popular but never knew it due to lack of engagement is appalling. If you can rant about your love for their work on Discord, you can rant about your love for their work in the comments. Just fucking copy paste it. Tell them how much you love it. Show them support. Especially the ones that don’t charge. Because for those of us that don’t, our only payment, is your feedback. Even constructive criticism is greatly appreciated by damn near every writer I can think of. Because even that shows that you read it, absorbed it, and thought about it enough to have something to actually say about it.
The same thing goes for artists and voice actors. You see a drawing or animation you enjoy? Comment. Like. Share. You see a character in an anime or a game and you love their voice? Go check out their voice actor, maybe they do some other cool stuff, and you might just discover your new favorite series or streamer. A perfect example is Alejandro Saab. I became a fan of his through his astounding performance in several series dear to me, and lo and behold, he’s also a streamer I enjoy. Same story with Aleks Le, or Ray Chase. Yuri Lowenthal, Lizzie Freeman, Landon Mcdonald, Zeno Robinson, the list goes on. But seriously, it’s not that much effort to just show a little love to the creators you enjoy. The people who breathe life into the series’ that we all hold dear. AI does not breathe that life. Using AI, and supporting those companies, will destroy those pillars of our community. And if that happens, the AI would crumble too, it would have no new information to use. SO really, what’s the benefit? I’ll tell you. There is none.
Stop using AI. All it does is bring harm and slowly kill our community. It’s disgusting, appalling, and downright fucking egregious.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
@ameera-anq : gofundme — €12,755/€20,000
@amnehsharif10 : gofundme — US$8,759/$90,000
@malkzaeem : gofundme — CA$19,540/$50,000
@burningnightgiver : gofundme — CA$5,596/$50,000
@salahaldinhor : gofundme — €784/€40,000
@save-mohamed-family : gofundme — €23,945/€40,000
i urge everyone who sees this to share, at the very least, if you cannot donate. please, please, please do not scroll past without reblogging. this post will be updated as/if anyone else reaches out!