Other Tidbit Is That Even Though Dwarves Are Capable Of Forging Steel, They’re Only Capable Of That

First rule of ranged weapon safety is to have fun

Some perfect things about this picture: - All of the glasses are mismatched - He has giant holes missing from his couch that implies he possibly just got angry one day and decided to rip up his furniture - Only one person gets a napkin apparently and that’s the Person of Indeterminate Gender - The fruit looks fake (and probably is) - There are inexplicable jars on the table - The couch also looks kinda like it’s built into the wall

This was hell to finish this chapter. Now that it's done I can begin work on the next chapter (fun)

Dimension 52

(View the other chapters here [Chapter 1][Chapter 2][Chapter 3])

Chapter 4:

Despite Prismo warning he couldn’t bring Ford home, he had done it. Fortunately Ford had done so without the use of the Dimensional Portal. It’d been a year and a half since he’d been stranded, but at last, he was back in Gravity Falls.

It was one of those rainy summer days in a part of the woods he recognized as fairly close to his house. He could get back and resume his life where he’d left off. The first thing he intended to do was to disassemble that damn machine that’d sent him on this trip in the first place! After that, he’d give Stanley a piece of his mind, probably using his fist, since that seemed to get through to Stan.

Keep reading

*re-reads my own story*: Damn this is some good shit

*gets to the part where I stopped writing*: WTF WHERE'S THE REST OF IT HOW DO I GET MORE

Brain: You're the author, if you want more you have to write it

Me: *flips tables*

Get boxed stupid idiots

I’m willing to bet it won’t be long before there’s fanfic recreations of points 12 and 14.

Some trivia, Alex told on BigFest today:

The way the crew usual way of coming up with a story was to think of some normal situation and then add something magical and crazy. “Sock Opera” was used as the example: first they came up with an idea of Mabel trying to impress her puppet-obsessed crush with puppet show, and then they began brainstorming weird things that might happen. Some of the earlier ideas included Mabel getting super-knitting powers and making living sweaters, and puppets coming alive and attacking Mabel (Alex even made a drawing of that).

Soos never tasted alcohol in his life. As for Stan… Well, there’s the reason his nose is this color.

There will be more about Ford’s (mis)adventures beyond the portal in the Journal. Alex couldn’t talk about it much, but he gave a little teaser: Ford was thrown into a dimension, that was controlled by Bill (or his lackeys); there, his top priorities were: 1) learn to survive, 2) make a weapon capable of destroying Bill; on his journeys Ford made many friends and even more enemies and eventually became an interdimensional criminal. There will be a wanted poster for Ford in the upcoming Journal (and even more “Rick and Morty” references)

The journal will also have more info on Ford’s & McGucket’s adventures during their youth.

One of the chapters in the upcoming choose-your-own-adventure book will reveal something important about Bill’s dying message.

Giffany is still alive, she managed to import here code somewhere, before her disc was destroyed. Again, more on that in the Journal.

Originally, Soos was supposed to go by his full name (Jesus), but Disney advised against it, thinking that some people would accuse the show of blasphemy. But the decision to give Soos shortened name backfired, since many people thought his name was “Zeus”.

Originally Bill didn’t have a surname, but Disney again advised against it, since they were afraid that people behind the character “Mr. Bill” might sue them for copyright infringement. So Alex came up with the name “Bill Black”, he thought it sounded cool and mysterious, but it turned out there was a some real guy with that name, and Disney was afraid he might sue them. All the other names Alex came up with were rejected for the same reason. Eventually, one late night, Alex was coming up with ciphers for the upcoming episode and thought “What if I just name him Cipher?”. The rest is history.

There was a scene in “Sock Opera”, that had to be cut for time, where Bill claimed, he was behind many great minds of the history, like, for example, helping Isaac Newton discover gravity and helping Stanley Kubrick fake the moon landing.

Bill can never go back to the place he came from. Alex also hinted that there may be more about his origins in the Journal, although not much, since Bill is the kind of character that benefits from being mysterious.

Dipper’s real name is NOT Michael, Alex, Mabel or Bill.

There was supposed to be a sub-plot in the finale, where clones #3 & 4 would try to kidnap Dipper and go back home with Mabel instead of him, but it was cut due to being too confusing.

Alex is talking with Disney about making some Gravity Falls comics, although nothing is concrete yet.

One of the ideas for the sixth “Mabel’s Guide” short was “Mabel’s Guide to Death”, in which her pet caterpillar gets eaten by a bird, and she talks about coping with death. The idea was rejected for being too morbid. The replacement idea - “Mabel’s Guide to Smiles” - was deemed offensive by Disney, since Mabel was going to visit local prison and try to teach inmates to smile. Although Alex might upload the storyboards for this rejected short online some day.

So glad someone had the same thought on seeing this. Makes me wonder if it works similarly to the current planepacked bug? Were either of these cooked in a guild hall or other location?

the most expensive single[-ish] item in my current fort is a TWELVE-HUNDRED-SERVING persimmon roast that has so many ingredients it takes three full scrolls to look at them all

it's worth five and a half million dwarfbucks

Responding to both the reblog above, and the tags from dwarvendiaries, I would like to note, I tried to *mostly* cover stuff for the first couple years that a less experienced player may be concerned with. I admit forgetting there's three different fabric types (technically 4, but dwarves never want metal cloth thankfully) was something that slipped my mind and is a good catch.

Yarn comes from animals, Cloth from plants & silk from spiders/monsters, and all three can be requested for moods and are NOT interchangeable with each other. As far as I can tell, this and value are the main differences between them use-wise. Production-wise which is easiest depends on what you have available. I personally find Silk usually the easiest to stockpile, but that is because I captured a Giant Cave Spider in one fort, and a Forgotten Beast in another... That is not necessarily an easy or safe idea, but if done offers a massive amount of silk for free. Likewise animals can be sheared for a large amount of wool fairly regularly. My textile industries personally tend to be capped by clothiers/dyers/dye rather than cloth usually.

As for moods, it is true that the type of workshop a dwarf uses can be semi-easily manipulated. My latest fort shows as much, where 4/6 artifacts made in the fort so far (summer of the 5th year) have all been metal. Part of it is luck (I've gotten lucky metalsmiths have gotten the pick so far), part of it is manipulation... (I've trained approximately 1/3rd of the fort by my estimate in some level of a metalsmithing skill. Mostly armorsmithing, metalsmith's were my second guild to form, forming about a month after farmers & a week before craftsdwarves)

Which I suppose brings up another topic, petitions for locations. *Generally they are always worth pursuing*. I can't think of a reason why you'd want to take the unhappiness hit for denying one, considering that a guild hall can: -Be restricted to only guild members (preventing training of undesired skills by new dwarfs) -Teaches dwarves skills without them needing to do labor -Are a nice and convenient source of happy thoughts

Meanwhile temples offer happy thoughts, and a new method of dwarves venting their issues & clearing their needs for prayer.

You should definitely consider setting up guilds for skills you value, especially a doctor's guild, as it offers a way to keep doctor's skills sharp without dwarven pain.

Also from a prior reblog, there was mention of how elves "could" send nobles to negotiate tree cutting limits. They still do do this, and they start once you have a baron/count/duke, i.e. when Humans typically begin sending their own nobles, and dwarves & humans send wagons. Following the limits results in a positive relationship with the elves, breaking them results in a negative relationship. Ultimately break it too many times and they go to war. Also notably important... they don't become more lenient if you chop down less trees. The number picked seems somewhat random in my experience, and is based off the skill of your mayor? (maybe the ruling noble?) as well as the wildness of the area you settled in... which will be a problem for me with my latest fort unfortunately...

Lastly, I do want to add there was a bit more I wanted to talk about (Like werecreatures) but I don't want to clutter this post up too much, but I do know if DF players enjoy one thing it's reading.

Werecreatures, necromancer experiments, necromancers, and vampires do not show up at worldgen. Certain events in worldgen need to occur to incite them into existing. For Werecreatures & Vampires, a civilization, usually dwarves or humans, need to build a monastery, and then a creature (usually an elf or human, but I just found out from a friend that dwarves can do it too, like as I was typing this. I'll write up what I got from that story elsewhere, but the funny news is your fort's dwarves can profane god too!) has to profane the temple, which is typically done by toppling the altar. Likewise, Necromancers require a race that has a set lifespan (humans or dwarves typically), and one of them needs to decide they fear death, and go on a search for a method to avoid it. This can result in them discovering the secrets of life and death (necromancy) and becoming a necromancer. Afterwards, they typically build a tower somewhere, and other necromancers are welcome to join them. They also may begin experimenting on creatures creating hybrid soldiers for their armies. Unlike the other 3 mentioned prior, necromancers tend to show up in around the first generation of humans or so, so a 100 year world will typically have necromancer towers beginning to sprout up.

The reason I wanted to talk about werecreatures, is werecreature infection containment, which is typically best done by securing the hospital in such a way you can lock down either the whole hospital, or an individual patient during a full moon, to see if an injured dwarf got infected. Since they *usually* are capable of breaking down doors, this requires either a drawbridge or a Cask of Amontillado solution.

Playing Dwarf Fortress, and so are a few of my friends now, so I figured I’d document some common pitfalls I know of, and how to avoid them.

Strange Moods:

-Best way to handle these?

First, build one of each of the following workshops: Craftsdwarfshop, Carpenter’s, Stoneworker’s, forge (either kind), jewelers, glass kiln (any kind), kiln (any kind), bowyers, mechanics, leatherworks, & clothiers. This is all the different types of workshops a dwarf may claim. Don’t worry about fueling a workshop, moods don’t need fuel.

Second, ideally try to keep a supply of at least one of the following items: A boulder, a log, a block, a bone, a cloth, metal bar, an uncut gem, a tanned hide, raw glass, and a cut gem. This is roughly all materials a dwarf may demand for their artifact. Tbh, you *can* cut gems (or polish stones) when a mood occurs, but it’s easier to keep a few on hand prior. Generally they need one item based off the workshop type they claim, then the rest seems to be somewhat random/based on their likes. Each time they collect an item for their artifact, it resets the timer for insanity. Generally in my experience dwarves really tend to grab boulders a LOT. But that’s based off my total experience, my recent experience has been a lot of bars, so it depends on what the dwarf’s workshop chosen is. I’ve been having a lot more metal required because most of my artifacts have come from my metalsmiths

If they’ve been standing at the workshop for a while, bring up their menu and see if they’re crafting the object, or shouting. If they’re shouting, it will cycle through hints or outright stating what the dwarf wants for their artifact. Generally artifacts are WORTH getting a hold of because it gives the dwarf a significant skill boost & a high value item. Worst case you put it in a display case somewhere to boost room value

Animals:

-My animal starved to death!

This only happens to grazers. You need to set up a pasture somewhere with some kind of growth on the soil. At the beginning you’re going to be limited to the green surface grass. If you want to keep them underground, you’re going to have to dig into one of the caverns, which will trigger some sort of fungal growth on underground natural tiles within your fort. Surprisingly as it may seem, this is perfectly safe for your farm animals to eat. Generally a rule of thumb is, if it is egg laying, or smaller than a dog, it is not a grazer, and does not need soil/some grass like substance to survive.

-My animal starved to death in a cage. Why won’t my dwarves move it!

So, going with the above, a pasture zone must be marked, and then animals must be assigned to those areas. After setting up a pasture, click the icon with a plus over a horse to assign animals to it. Any semi-domesticated animal can be assigned to a pasture.

-Why won’t my chickens lay eggs

They need a nest box to lay eggs in. Generally place a pasture somewhere (I like to do it underground as I have yet to find a grazing egg-layer) and build nest boxes there. Dwarves will automatically harvest eggs from the boxes, including fertile ones which may make farming for leather/meat harder. You can seal the room and forbid entry until the eggs hatch, and then forbid them, or have no stockpiles accepting eggs. Then eggs will only be taken by cooks, and only when they’re cooking.

Migrants:

If you are struggling attracting migrants, a major factor is your exports. Basically fortress wealth, and wealth exported are two of the factors that determine your migrant waves, the last factor is the health of your civilization, which is basically just the population. Weirdly enough, migrants are built different, as I’ve played in dying civs (one SURFACE fort with 20 dwarves, this was the only NPC settlement for my Civ) and had migrant waves of 30+ dwarves. Basically the more high value goods you make, and the more you trade them, particularly with the home caravan, the more migrants you’ll get.

Children:

Dwarves only produce children if they’re married, and the parents have time to… get intimate. Fortunately the getting intimate is more “having idle time in a bedroom together” at which point, if it’s a married male/female pair, the female will become pregnant. The game does not display information on pregnancy at all, and all pregnant creatures will just carry on their normal business until they give birth, at which point a dwarf will abandon her current task to “seek infant” at which point they will pop out a baby, you will get a notification of this, and they will pick the child up and go back to doing tasks. Dwarves are capable of having multiples, and I have seen twins, triplets, and even a very weird case of quadruplets… which is its own story.

Trading:

Of the four types of civilizations that exist, you can trade with 3 of them. Elves trade in the spring, humans in the summer, and dwarves in the autumn. Each offer different advantages… mostly… to trading with them.

-Elves:

Generally the most annoying and least useful trading partners. Trading them anything made from wood or an animal product upsets them, instantly ending the trades, and sending them home. If this happens enough, they will declare war and begin sieging your fort. Generally elves are great for selling low-quality stone, (green) glass, or metal objects to. Silk and cloth can be safely traded, but yarn cannot. Generally it’s best practice to only trade rock, green glass, and metal objects to avoid offending them. Due to elves not sending merchant nobles to negotiate, they have no export requests for better trading, and you cannot request imports from them. Despite this, they can make an excellent source of exotic animals, cheap barrels, or offer a way to trade rock crafts for food.

-Humans

Humans know a good deal, and actually care about trade. Humans tend to reach out among the first outsider civs to trade with you. They don’t always send a merchant nobles, but once you have a baron or higher, they tend to much more frequently. Humans are amazing trading partners as they offer unique trading resources from dwarves. They have no offendable rules either, but they actually do defend their goods. They can be reliable for exporting in rare crops, seeds, or other materials, and they will happily trade you pretty much anything they have access to. So while you can’t get steel from them, you can get surface crops, more varied animals, and bladeweed dye and other fabrics.

-Dwarves

Without player intervention, you will only usually receive a Dwarven caravan from your home Civ. You can by contacting other Dwarven civs get other civs to send merchants to your fort as well. Dwarven caravans are much like human caravans, but carry steel. They also only carry crops and items unique to their Civ, which is usually pretty much exactly the same as yours. Dwarves do also send merchants to negotiate import/export deals as well, notably the outpost liaison being your factions representative.

-Getting new trading partners

Send a squad out to an uncontacted Civ and set the mission to “demand one-time tribute” civs either pay the tribute, or reject it, and it seems to have little impact on the civ’s opinion of you/your fort. Once this is done, they can start, and often do, sending caravans your way when the correct season starts.

-Getting better trade goods/merchant nobles

Traders bring more goods the more profitable trading was with you historically. So the more you trade, the more they bring. So if a trader brings nothing of interest to you, you buy nothing, and they leave, next year, they are likely to bring even LESS. So to prevent this, it can be a good idea to buy things even if they aren’t that useful. I commonly try to buy all the food I can from the merchants, as I can usually use it, and it encourages the merchants to take more items, which can end up being items like codexes/scrolls that I really want. Likewise the more successful the trades are, the more likely they are to send a noble for trade agreements. They don’t always send them though, so it is possible to miss them for a few years, even when trading seems to be going fine.

Hospitals:

-You will need a hospital before you think you do. But you do not need a Good one really. A basic hospital is something like a few beds & tables in a room together. You should also have a water source, some buckets, a textile industry, and some splints/canes. The only specialty thing you really need is a single traction bench. Just make a table, rope and mechanism, and combine them for a traction bench at a mechanics. Soap isn’t strictly necessary early on, nor is having security in the hospital. Bleeding out on the hospital floor is a major improvement to bleeding out anywhere else.

-Soap

It reduces infections and will lower mortality rates, but generally a hospital itself will do a more significant job at that. Still if you need to make it, you need at least 5 buildings roughly. Soap needs lye, which needs ash and needs to be made in an Ashery and a wood furnace respectively. Soap also needs either an oil, or a tallow. Oil is made at a screw press from certain plants, tallow is made at a kitchen from roasting fat. Fat is gathered at a butcher from butchering (animal) corpses

This is it for part 1. If there’s other questions or tips, I can do a part 2