Thesadboisclub - ℭ𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔢 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢

MY DEAREST L…

time has stopped in a way that the world is numb to the land that understands the movements of the earth under our feet in the sun-heated grass, the river shines to the blue skies of the sweet smelling due drops of the morning kissed silk.

I'll be starting to post again soon !! Love you all.🖤🖤

Ever just want to change your whole tumblr aesthetic but don't cuz it's so much work 😩😭😂

MY DEAREST L…

Hello, it's been a while and a few things have changed since we last spoke. I've decided to quit smoking for one. I'm not to sure how long it will last this time but I'm going to try my best to stop.

i know that your coming over this week. just hope that you can handle me being cranky hahah. but anyways i've just been chilling out. oh! yeah i've noticed that i can breath better actually now that i stopped smoking. i was short of breath all the time before but now i seem to be getting better.

a craving is hitting right now. i'm trying to just ignore it and wright throw the craving. anyways talk to you tomorrow.

I started watching the dark shadows show from 1991.

so far is good honestly, i don't have and complaints about it.

My Dearest L...

good morning, it's been a while since I last spoke to you. I didn't know what to tell you at the time but it turns out that since I've been gone I've got a new job and I've been mentally doing a lot better I do have my off days but not as much as I did before. I just wanted to let you know that I really missed you while I was gone. well until next time L...

Work is nothing but a never ending chain till death.

My Dearest L...

The flames of a candle can only burn so bright till it dies out, there was once this dream I had where I was in a car and I saw my sister across a street looking at me and I was going to back the car into a driveway so I could pull into my friend's driveway, but as I was backing up behind me turned into a pond and the car slowly started to sink into the water I looked at me sister begging her to help me but she didn't move she just stood there looking at me as I was screaming fr her help sinking into this pond with the car. I managed to open my eyes but I could not see anything but the dream still in my line of vision, I heard everything going on around me but I could not move. when I finally managed to push myself out of this slumber I rolled over to my left and there was this big dark figure that stood from my floor to my ceiling it didn't seem like it wanted to hurt me but once I noticed it I turned I rolled to the right really fast and then rolled to the left to see if it was still there and it was gone...

“The beat of broken jazz”

It’s a lonely world, everybody tries to hide. 

Behind there dark blue eyes, behind those broken lies.

Did it really hurt, when you left me in the dirt.

The sky is crying, as the thoughts of you are sighing.

Boy the last string to tie was to say goodbye.

I tend to stick in your head, like the last homeless cat you fed.

You're like the beat of broken jazz.

You used to hit strings, in my heart like sweet smooth jazz sings.

In those steam filled showers, passing by those arousing seductive hours.

I found myself face down, trying to pick up my crown.

As you undid my lace, I tried to replace.

All the broken dreams i had to face.

They brought me to a place, where time can’t bring a trace. Of peace back to me.

How am i going to find a way to cope, when i can’t even wash the scars with that bloody red bar of soap.

In the dark, of a lonely park.

Passing the time away, but i only find myself fading away.

Through the wind I've sinned and through the sky I'll fly.

Say goodbye as we dance with the devil tonight.

Give up the fight, we gave it a good try.

Broken and beaten. To nothing we shall remain.

And that will be the end of my pain.

-TheSadBoisClub

MY DEAREST L…

I sit here today with a smoke in my hand and some unfortunate news I skipped work the other day not bec I wanted to, well that's I lie, I did want to not go that day but the thing is I hit up crazy girl. you know that series I was going to start but never got around to it, well I hit her up and went out to drink with her that night and I wasn't expecting to buy a bag but I did and things went south for me really fast it wasn't good shit and I wasn't feeling well at all, all night I just didn't want to be bothered and I was at the bar I wanted out of here. I honestly feel so bad with myself for doing that shit again. I just don't. want to go to that stupid job I'm at and drinking and lines are not taking me down the right path there making me feel like there is no meaning to life but when I do them I feel happier than when I'm sober. I've decided to take a break from the drugs and the alcohol for i bit to gather my mind. I've come to the realization that it's not the things I'm doing that's putting me down it's the job I'm at and the people I'm around that's doing it, I need to start actually living I'm 22 now and I still live at home while others are put there living there lives I just want to move on from this time in my life and actually start my own and being stuck in this house and town is starting to eat me alive. I can't take it anymore I can breathe, I have no space but leaving my mom behind is so hard for me I feel like I can't be we're so close together. like what is she going to do once I'm not here with her anymore? what is she supposed to spend her day doing when all she's done since I was born is be with me? I just don't know what to do anymore.

if anymore has any feedback or opinion please shear them I'd love to hear what you'd have to say!