He Started It By BEING Weird!

hear me out: the one piece. once it’s found. no clue what it is but why not?

Well, I do love a bit of mystery. I suppose I'll hear you out.

The moss holds desire. The moss hungers. Feed us, Stanford. We are starving.

I'm going to need you to be a bit more specific. What exactly do you need to eat? Moss is autotrophic, so I assumed it would produce food by itself.

Hey are you aware that Stanley won the 2025 Tumblr Sexyman contest?

(I'm not sorry)

Yes, I am aware. I actually made several posts about it! While I am proud of him, I must say I don't approve of him smoking so much weed that it killed the Pope.

Also, you have now been mossed.

*puts you in a blender*

How did you even manage to put me in a blender? Nevermind. Why am I in a blender?

I am going to try. I will document how successful or unsuccessful it was.

do you wish to respond to the allegations that you are and always have been a tree frog?

I love tree frogs. They always look so stupid and confused, and it's the cutest thing ever. I currently am not one, but I may evolve into one at a future point in time.

Have you seen the tree frogs in Dimension 96? They're huge! And residents have them as what we would consider "guard dogs". Dimension 96 has guard frogs.

Back to the original question, no. I am not a tree frog. But I hope to be one day.

FUCK YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND, "SONIC". IF THAT EVEN IS YOUR REAL NAME.

petty princess. /derogatory

I am both petty and a princess, so this statement cannot possibly be derogatory.

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

You'll never know unless you try, Dipper. If it doesn't work, you could always try hiding your tape recorders so they can't make recordings of you saying horrible things to mail to your family members.

Grunkle Ford, I keep being harassed by different versions of Bill

Let me consult the moss.

"slurp their eyes through silly straws"

Okay, not consulting the moss. Maybe just ignore them. When I ignored the Bill in our universe, the worse that happened to me is I got an embarrassing tattoo and a nail stuck through my hand.

Hi Grunkle Ford! So remember the ask I sent about getting rid of zombie spiders.... and how I said it wasn't relevant to anything...

Okay so, believe it or not, it actually IS relevant, and Mabel and I were wondering if you would like to come over to California to be part of our drum quartet

Normally, I would be ecstatic at an opportunity such as this! However, due to a health issue (which I can most definitely still function with and does not affect my ability to play drums), Stanley said I'm "not allowed to leave the house unless it's on fire". Of course Mr. Stubborn-as-a-mule is the one to tell me to follow my doctor's orders.

Yooo! Paranormal Bottom! What's up?

You all think this is funny, don't you? If one more person calls me that, I am going to explode.