I'd Date A Woman That Was On OnlyFans But Only If She Was Good At It.

Why can't I have a guard eagle? Just a bird that follows me like a drone and swoops in whenever I tell it to attack. That is my dream pet.

Hold up a cross, nobody bats an eye. Hold up a sign that says "I groom children by threatening them with torture" everybody loses their minds.

The dichotomy between MLK and Malcolm X proves: Whether you ask nicely or aggressively - those that ask for civil rights in an effective manner will be struck down.

How come you almost never hear about serial killers anymore? People collectively got less stabby?

Am I the only one who is PISSED about how many Amazon kindle versions there are? At the risk of sounding like Hank Hill: It's a BOOK! How do you update a book?!

I think all voters must be required to read the bible. That way no religious human will have the capacity to vote.

Why couldn't you fuck the Geth?! I have a MIGHTY NEED for robussy!

It just occurred to me that some day my forms of entertainment will be considered archaic. Kids will be amazed that I watched ASMR without a cyborg implant to experience it in real time. That will be looked at along side classic black and white movies.

Someone write a fantasy where "millennial" is a slur for people over a thousand years old

Shoutout to all my boomers that still use iGod. The OG chatbot.