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From one Asexual to another, this is a warning.

I'm sorry but your boyfriend? He rolled under the fridge and we can't seem to find him. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hey, uh, regret to inform you but your boyfriend is now a pigeon. Yeah he's roaming the city. He's found a new family now.

"It's not Sour Patch Kids it's Tart Valley Children." - My sister

As a past Assistant Stage Manager and now full-on Stage Manager for my high school theatre company, here's some things to know: (some of them aren't really ASM but these will be important once you're a full-on SM!)

The actors may think they are better than you. Do with that what you will.

As early as you can, type up (or find an already-typed document) of the script, so you can add all the cues and notes straight on and not have to messily scribble cues on a piece of paper. I colour-code mine, but you can do whatever you want.

Remember, communication is key! Make sure to stay in touch with other departments.

Once you have your typed document (or 'masterscript' as I call it) share it with EVERYONE. The director, the actors, all the other Stage Crew people, and ESPECIALLY your other SM(s).

Stay in contact with your director, and if they have plans for the actors, make sure to let them know as soon as possible.

You will need to come up with a lot of plans on the fly, so know as much as you can! You don't want to be in the dark about anything.

Prepare to wear a lot of hats and do a lot of jobs. As my theatre department has 24 members (cast+crew) I have to do multiple jobs, such as: Scriptwriter, Head of Set, Head of Props, Head (and only member :/ ) of Costumes, and of course, Stage Manager. On top of all that, I am also the only run crew so yay!

Although, if your theatre department is big enough, you will also be responsible for delegating responsibility. Before every rehearsal, go through a shape of the day with your director, and make sure everyone knows what they're doing and when.

Also, drink a lot of water and make sure to keep your voice healthy! The cast for my show is very rowdy, and I've strained my voice on multiple occasions trying to yell over them to get them to quiet down :,)

Anyways, have fun! The only way you can truly make a show good is if you are passionate about it! Being a Stage Manager, and all the responsibilities that come from it are usually overlooked, but at the end, you're helping run an incredible show! Good luck!

Hi! more of a question i have about theatre stuff!!

I just got picked to be the assistant stage manager for my schools show (the addams family) !! im a sophomore in high school and this will be my 2nd year doing theatre at my school; and i hope to apply/get stage manager next year !!

any advice? thank youu !!

Hi!! That's so exciting! (In fair warning, I've not personally worked in stage management, I've only done a course on it, so I've outsourced a lot of this from @manicpixiemonster)

"Enjoy paperwork."

More seriously, the SM team is the centerpoint of information in a production so Be Organized. (Personally I'm a color-coder, but the Best method is whatever one works best for you.) People will be coming to you for questions so be prepared (even if it's about the thing that you really did send three emails and four text messages about already)

This doesn't mean that you have to know everything automatically. If there's something you're wondering about, ask. Especially since you're still in school and (I am assuming here) fairly new to this, take it as a learning opportunity and get involved and ask questions rather than trying to blend into the background.

Be focused because you're a model of behavior for the cast and crew. You want to be approachable but also an authority figure in the room. (This can be tricky, especially in HS since theater tends to be a very social experience)

Confidence is key! And remember you've got a whole team (and production) working with you to make this show successful.

stay hydrated :) also if you've got one, wear a watch.

@spyld

im gonna die from laughing

genuinely about to cry at the word for france in te reo māori. so like. almost every country name is just the english name but altered to only have letters that exist in te reo (so like canada = kānata, norway = nōwei etc) except france that is literally just fucking. wīwī. as in ouioui. imgoing to fucking die

Weird things heard at work pt. 1

"I am now the laundry detergent king."

"The celery case might have been dropped a few times."

*Upon seeing a large stack of boxes* "This looks slightly unsafe."

"That is the highest pile of celery I have ever seen."

"So this might have been sitting in the back for over a year..." *Pours out steaming, liquid mold from a bucket into organics bin*

"A customer said there's a garbage bag being attacked by crows in the parking lot?"

"Take a broom, it might be dangerous."

"Oh no! The popcorn!"

And finally:

"If it looks like dogshit, just throw it out. No one will miss it."

Vocal Director: I’m so sorry to all the mentally ill people. Elf: The Musical did you wrong.