I’m So Tired- I Feel Like Shit. Rode Hard And Put Up Wet Is A Way To Describe It. I Just Want The Migraine

✦I have more C.o.D Quotes✦

Gaz: How’s your head? Y/N: Well, I haven’t had any complaints yet. Gaz: …excuse me? Y/N: Oh uh, I think I’ll live-

-- (Somewhere in Greece with a fuck ton of cats) Ghost, watching Price sneeze every five seconds: What a catastrophe. Gaz: No. Y/N: PFFT- Soap: Stop, no, don’t encourage him. Y/N: Ahem! Right, right. Not funny. Ghost: I am purrfectly capable of being funny. Y/N: *struggling* Gaz: Sometimes I wish you didn’t have a mouth.

-- Just a scene of Y/N taking out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing they cap, then putting one of those lid caps on. (Like the ones you have on those fancy Gatorades) Taking a huge swig and closing the cap on it as Soap watches in amusement, & Price in fear.

-- Ghost: Quit messing with my hand. Soap: Quit messing with my hair! Y/N: Quit being gay. Gaz: PFFFT Y/N: Both problems solved.

-- Y/N, on the comms: You have thirteen seconds before the building fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe- Ghost: … Y/N: And you green gumball son of a bitch. Gaz: Wha-?! Soap: *WHEEZE* Y/N: You have done nothing but ruin my life; I hope you both die.

-- Soap, Gaz, & Y/N: *cackling* Laswell, losing at poker: I miss my wife, Price. Price: *places down cards* Laswell: I miss my wife.

-- Ghost, overstimulated & a lil drunk: AHHHHHH MY BONES Y/N: *frantically getting headphones* Soap, drunk: *wheeze* Gaz: Ah. I know I should’ve- *dies coughing* Soap: *more wheezing*

-- Graves *kicks in door* WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM?! Y/N: SUCK IT, BITCH BOY!! Alejandro: *aggressively slapping his leg while silently laughing* Rudy: *pointing and laughing* Valeria, in handcuffs: Ha, dumbass.

-- Graves: Bitch, you are gonna get in this car or I’m popping between ya eyes! Valeria: Hey, I know you. I saw your dick on Twitter! Graves: NOOOOOO Y/N: AHAHA!

-- Graves: C’mon Johnn- Y/N: *chucks a rock at Graves’ head* Graves: OW, WHY?! Y/N: NO JOHNNY FOR YOU! He goes by Soap and we respect that! Graves: Ghost calls him that! Y/N: CAUSE GHOST HAS PERMISSION, you EARN the right to Johnny! And I will be damned if anyone else earns the right before me. I been working my ass off to get the Johnny privilege and you will NOT get it for free! Soap, who’s just been standing there the whole time: *leans to Gaz* Have they actually been taking it that seriously? Gaz: Yeah. They’ve also been working real hard to try and get the right to call Captain “John”. Shoulda seen their face when I said they can call me Kyle. Soap: That’s…really sweet, I’ll give’em permission later. Gaz: Why not now? Soap: I wanna see that bastard get chewed out some more.

-- Y/N, perched on Price’s desk: Captain. Price: *sigh* Y/N: Captain I crave violence.

-- Ghost: Your family line deserves to die with you, only shame it didn’t end before you. Graves: ….I just sat down!

-- Y/N: You’re like…the human incarnation of crumbs in the bed. Graves: Oh c’MON THAT’S REAL MEAN Ghost: It’s true though. Y/N: The kinda crumbs that you keep swiping away but somehow they never leave- Graves: Alright! You know what- Soap: Like getting in bed after going to the beach. Gaz: Sand in the bed, yeah. Feels like that when he talks. Graves: I’M JUST GONNA FUCKIN LEAVE! Y/N: *watches him go* Annnd now the sheets have been changed. Ghost: Clean from filth. Alejandro: You all are so cruel and it’s perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

-- Gaz: Things Gucci with you? Y/N: It’s Goodwill at best, my guy. Price: I don’t know what this means but I feel like I should be concerned.

-- (Mild NSFW Jokie Time) Gaz: You alright? You been zoned out. Y/N: Hm? Nah I’m good, just having depraved thoughts. Gaz: Depraved, you say? Soap: Oh do tell. Y/N: You just…you ever see someone and think “they have pretty eyes”. And that’s normal. But then the little devil in the back of ya skull goes “yeah they’d look good rolled back”. Or am I just a whore? Gaz: That is depraved. Soap: Got a good point though.

-- Y/N: Ooo! Look! Old pictures of Captain, this one’s dated. You would’ve been…19 in this one. Lemme s-…… Gaz: Lemme see! ….. Price: What? Y/N: …..you were a whore, weren’t you captain? Gaz: That’s the face of an arrogant bastard who fucks regularly. Price: I…might’ve been a bit of a playboy. Y/N: And I would’ve fallen for it you god damn bastard, no ones fACE SHOULD BE THAT NICE!

-- Valeria, painting her nails: I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriend’s next- Alejandro: ….. Rudy: ….should I be worried? Alejandro: Move away quietly and pray.

-- Ghost: For the record this is self destructive. Soap, chugging his 5th energy drink in the past hour: For the record, I’m aware of that.

-- MILF!Y/N: Boys. Bed, now. I wanna talk to your captain. Price: No, boys stay. Please stay- Y/N: Go. Price: Stay. The boys: *concern, panic, perhaps a bit of fear* Y/N: Go! Price: Stay! Y/N: You go! Soap: *speed walking* Price: Soap, stay! Y/N: NOW! Gaz: *slowly backing away* Price: Gaz, don’t move! Y/N: YOU GO! Price: SIMON- Ghost: *leaving*

-- Ghost: What was Plan A? Soap: …don’t fuck up. Ghost: And what was Plan B? Gaz: Don’t fuck up Plan A. Ghost: And what did you do? Y/N: …fucked up plan a- Ghost: YOU FUCKED UP PLAN A-

-- Ghost: What’s rule number one? Soap, with dynamite: Party! Ghost: NO! No, not party! No!

-- Graves: How about after this, we get a drink? Y/N: …I would rather gouge out my eyes and blindly navigate a way to turn them into earrings than ever be anywhere alone with you. Soap, grinning: Ooooo brutal! Ghost: Karma.

-- Ghost: Wait…Johnny’s into me? Like…he LIKES me?? Gaz: Oh Si…you poor, sad, dense mother fucker.

-- Ghost: At least nothing of importance was lost. Laswell: …Graves was kidnapped. Ghost: I know. I said what I said. Y/N: Nothing of value was lost but we did shed off some trash! Ghost: Precisely.

-- Ghost: These lights make me wanna pull my eyes out and eat them. Medic!Y/N: *turns lights off in favor of a lamp* …alright, so you’re autistic, good to know.

-- Ghost: Should I get my reading glasses? Y/N: Oh no no, this isn’t an eye test. It’s a GAY test. Now tell me, *holds up picture of Farah & Graves; Price being 1* Number one, or number two? Ghost: Number one?… Y/N: Interesting. *holds up Farah & Soap, Soap being 2* Okay now number one, or number two? Ghost: *gasp* Y/N: Number two, right? Ghost: Maybe I am gay?

-- Waitress: So, I’ve gotta ask, I’m really curious. 141: ? Waitress: Have any of you ever used like…the military language in bed? Soap: Naaaah. Y/N: No, I don’t- PFFFT, I- *wheeze* I’m sorry I’m imagining it- Gaz: *biting back laughs* Y/N: “You gonna come?” Affirmative. *laughs* Soap: *WHEEZE* Gaz: *cackling* Price: Oh lord- Gaz, snickering: Picking up speed. Y/N: COPY- *Laughter x100* The entire team: *giggling like hyenas* Ghost: Uh, that’s a no. I don’t think we’ve done that.

-- Price: *smiles at Soap & Gaz being stupid* Y/N: I like when you smile. Price: …huh? Y/N: Your smile, I like it. Makes your eyes crinkle up and your beard makes you look like a cuddly bear. You should smile more. Price, internally on the verge of tears: *fond sigh* Get back to drills, soldier. Y/N: Yes sir!

-- Ghost: *minding his fucking business* Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: *chokes on air* Pardon? Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: No I-…they’re just brown. Y/N: So? Your eyes don’t have to be blue or green to be pretty. They’re pretty because they’re expressive, and when the sun hits them they look like syrup. I like’em best when we’re all at a bar. They get brighter then. Ghost: Ghost: …stop talking, sergeant. Y/N: Copy that, L.T! <3

-- Gaz: *laughing at something on his phone* Y/N: You have a great laugh. Gaz: Hm? Oh…really? Y/N: Mhm. It’s cute, comes from your chest. I’ve never heard you laugh in anyway that’s not genuine. Really fills the room with joy. Gaz: Dude, you’re gonna make me all soft with words like that. Y/N: All according to plan!

-- Soap: *rambling about something* Y/N: *listening intently* Soap: Then-…ah, I been talkin’ at you this whole time, eh? Should probably quiet down. Y/N: No no, I like your voice! Soap: Eh? Y/N: It’s super energetic and loud, and when you tell a joke or talk about something you love, it’s like you can hear your smile. It’s really fun to listen to. I like when you talk! Soap: *inhale* You’re gonna make me cry- Y/N: I have tissues!

-- König: *fidgeting* Y/N: *takes his hands* You have beautiful hands. König: Wh- Huh?? No they are not. Y/N: They are too! König: Nien, they’re rough and calloused, they break a lot of things… Y/N: They also pet stray cats, make the best coffee on base, and create crotchet works of art. They also mend wounds pretty well. Yeah they fire guns but that doesn’t make them less beautiful. König: *he’s actually crying* …Danke. Y/N: Don’t mention it!

-- Rudy: *rolling his shoulder* Y/N: Anyone ever tell you that you have great shoulders? Rudy: Hm? Oh uh…no, I don’t believe so. Y/N: Well you do! Rudy: Ah, gracias. When I was younger I wanted them to be broader, sometimes now I wish they were more narrow. Can never really be happy with’em, you know? Y/N: Well I think you should be. They’re strong! *gently pats his shoulders* They hold a lot of weight, metaphorically and physically. And even when they’re weighed down, you shoulder it and keep moving. You’re real good at that! I like your shoulders. Rudy, prepared to die for them: …gracias. Y/N: No problem! Now c’mon, the guys are waitin’ for us!

-- Y/N: You have good collarbones. Alejandro: What was that? Y/N: Sorry, I know that’s real specific, but I think your collarbones are pretty. It’s like…the rest of you is bulky and strong, rugged. Then you have these delicate bones. I’m probably being too poetic but it’s like a subtle nod to your gentler side, just, built into your body. Alejandro: …you have a lovely way with words, camarada. Y/N: Thank you! I appreciate that!!

Dinner’s In The Oven

Dinner’s In The Oven

Tony Stark X Pregnant!Reader

Prompt(s) from anonymous: Tony x reader where tony is super busy working on new designs in his lab and the reader hints at being pregnant but tony is too busy and oblivious until he puts the pieces together?? Thanks love!

Note(s): This is so freaking cute!! After that clip in the beginning of Infinity War, I know that Tony would be so excited to have a child with the love of his life. I tried to make it fluffy, haha. Enjoy, dearies!

Warning(s): Fluff.

Word Count: 1,105.

(y/n) bit their lip and looked down at the test in their hand for the fifth time. They worried that perhaps they’d read the sign wrong, but nope, there it was, still as clear as day. Positive, it told them.

Without a doubt, as told by the three other discorded tests, (y/n) was pregnant.

J.A.R.V.I.S., ever vigilant, picked up on (y/n)’s anxiety. He knew the way they paced and bit at their lip when something was bothering them. Knowing that Sir would appreciate him stepping in, he said, “(y/n), it would be a good idea to infirm Sir. I believe he would be quite overjoyed at the news.”

A smile managed to grace their lips. Grateful, because J.A.R.V.I.S. knew them so well. “Yeah? I certainly wasn’t going to keep it from him. Any idea how to tell him? He’s down in his lab working right now. Almost nothing can tear him from that.”

“In everything that he does, you are his primary reason. I recommend walking down and sitting him down for a talk. He’d listen.”

(y/n) rolled their eyes but knew that the AI had a point. With a word of thanks, they headed for the elevator. Just the minute ride down to the lab was enough to work up their nerves again. Seeing Tony, however, running from hologram to hologram, soothed every fear that plagued their heart. 

“Hey (y/n)!” Tony called, sparing them a glance before he rushed over to another hologram. There was a fiery spark in his eye. It seemed he was going hard at his current project. 

“Hey honey. What are you working on?”

The grin on Tony’s face widened. “Nanotech! It’s going to be the next step in advancing the Iron Man technology.”

(y/n) hummed as they leaned against the closest worktable. Their stomach brushed against it’s surface, and just the thought of the baby growing inside them brought butterflies swarming again. Good butterflies, though, they knew.

“When can you take a brief break? I’d hate to tear you away from something urgent.”

Tony waved his hand in dismissal. “I can take a break in like, five minutes. I just have to finish polishing the design. Hey, do you know what we’re having for dinner tonight?”

A flicker of an idea formed. Tony liked puzzles, right? And he was obviously still obsessed with working, running around as he talked. If they just dropped a few clues, he’d get it eventually. (y/n) smirked to themselves as they pretended to think over dinner ideas. 

“Uh, I don’t know, but we should make something nice and big. You know, I’ve been so hungry recently. It’s almost like I’m eating for two, haha!”

“You have been eating a lot recently,” Tony mused. “You’ve also been eating some weird combinations, but hey, who am I to argue? Some people are eating pineapples on pizza of all things. Wicked souls!” He tisked, albeit teasingly. 

“I have been eating some weird stuff, huh? Some things just taste good together, you know? Sometimes they make me nauseous though. It’s been happening to me randomly throughout the day.”

That wasn’t a lie. The random bouts of sickness were what had drawn (y/n) to take the pregnancy test anyways. Tony was convinced that it was food poisoning from the combinations. He argued that some foods just weren’t meant to go together. Pregnancy made much more sense, however.

Tony chuckled as he typed away on one of the various computers around the room. “It’s almost like you’re pregnant, (y/n)!” “Seems like it, huh?” They laughed, knowing that he was mere millimeters from the truth. “Could you imagine that, Tony? Waiting to becoming a father, picking out names while we wait, designing a baby room. You’d be so excited when they’d arrive, to have them follow you around the tower.”

Tony hummed, thoughtfully, as he closed down two holograms. He wondered towards the next few to close them too. (y/n) could spot the fond smile that tugged at his cheeks. “Have I told you about those daydreams that often?” 

“Perhaps,” (y/n) said. They furrowed their brows, suddenly doubting something. They glanced over towards their husband as he finished closing down every hologram. “You’d be excited if that were to become a reality… right?”

“Of course!” Tony said, sounding only slightly offended. Finally, he brought (y/n) in for a hug and peppered their face with kisses he meant to give them as soon as they’d come down. (y/n) giggled when he nosed into the juncture of their neck, pressing more kisses where he could. 

(y/n) ran a hand through his hair. Well, it was either now or never. Willing their hands not to shake, they pulled his forehead to theirs and pressed a kiss to his lips. When they both parted they whispered, “So what if I told you I had a bun in the oven for dinner tonight?”

Tony blinked. Then blinked again. A gigantic smile spread over his face as everything just seemed to click.

“Wait… for real? Like, for real for real?”

“Yes!” (y/n) laughed. Tears welled up in their eyes as it finally hit them. They were pregnant. They were going to have a family with Tony. A beautiful child made by the two of them. It was real and happening and no longer a daydream they told each other about. 

(y/n) squealed as Tony picked them up and twirled them around the room. He pressed more and more kisses to (y/n)’s lips, who reciprocated likewise and wrapped their arms around his neck. He was rubbing his hands over (y/n)’s stomach, compulsively, as though he were in a trance. His brown eyes were wide with both disbelief and utter excitement.

“When did you find out?”

“Just a few minutes ago. J.A.R.V.I.S. said I should just come down.”

Tony purred as he placed another kiss on (y/n)’s lips. “I knew I could always count on him. Would you like a celebratory dinner, my darling? Take-out, movies, and cuddling on the couch while we look up names?”

“Tony Stark, that sounds wonderful.”

The inventor picked up his pregnant spouse without hesitation. J.A.R.V.I.S. ordered the take-out as the happy couple settled in for a night of research and cuddles. In eight short but torturously long months, all those daydreams were going to come true. For the both of them, it was most definitely a dream come true. 

Hello, I hope you and your family are well. Can you please help me recycle the post on my account? 🌺 And help rescue my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏 Thank you.

https://gofund.me/1a1829cd

Of course love!

Hello please reblog this if you're okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

Hello there! 🌸💫 I hope this message finds you in good spirits 💕

I’m reaching out with a humble request to help my family in Gaza. Could you please reblog my pinned post or contribute $10 to help us meet our basic needs and provide essentials for the children in my family? 🙏🏼

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🌟 A Cry for Help: My Family’s Struggle to Survive in Gaza 🌟

Hello, my name is Areej Kassab. I’m a 27-year-old English teacher and writer from Gaza, and I’m reaching out to you with a heavy heart and a

every time a fat girl wears a shirt that shows her belly an angel gets their wings reblog if you agree

I really can’t remember a time where a SO has loved me for me or not for their pleasure.

PSA:

Women are hot.

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