Can I Join? I've Never Been To France Either. 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😭😁😋🥳😳🥹🥺☺️😌😉😇👉🏻👈🏻

I think, it may be some type of mating call! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😁😳😉😌☺️😏🤣😂💯👀✨👉🏻👈🏻

sherlock....i don't think people mean eat you like that

Then how do they mean it?

Hey! I'm innocelt in this! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍☺️😌😁😉😋😅🥹🥺👀😳🙂😏👉🏻👈🏻

👀

.....Ah, it's a "sip of the ol' 50 year whisky day".

PDA Headcanons for Crowley & Aziraphale (gender-neutral reader)

Crowley:

Super comfortable with public displays of affection. Only if he knows you’re also comfortable with it, of course.

He likes letting other people know you’re his (and, vice versa, that he’s yours).

Touchy. VERY touchy. Like one or more of his hands are probably on you at all times.

He likes having his arm around your shoulders (bonus points if you are quite a bit shorter than him - he likes the feeling that he’s keeping you safe.)

If you’re sitting down in a public place (like a park bench, for example) do not think he won’t pull you into his lap. Because he will. All the time.

He will grab your ass in public. He will probably do it discreetly, but he does it just to make you blush and get all flustered.

Constant use of petnames. Sweetheart is his favourite.

Absolutely not ashamed to kiss you in public. Like he will do it a lot. Not just your lips either. Cheeks? Yep. Neck? Y E P. If you have skin showing, Crowley wants to have his mouth there.

More than once he has kissed you, pinned you against a wall on some discreet London corner and things got a little too heated. Cue the two of you rushing back to the Bentley to get to somewhere a little more private 👀

Aziraphale:

Definitely not as confident about PDA as Crowley, but that doesn’t mean he won’t show you any affection in public. He’s just more subtle about it.

Hand holding. Literally his favourite thing to do ever. Does that thing where he rubs little circles into your hand with his thumb !!!

If you lean your head into his arm/shoulder when you’re walking and holding hands?? This angel will straight up melt.

Also likes using petnames on you, though Aziraphale prefers the more traditional “my dear/darling”.

I mean he’s just a good old fashioned gentleman. Holds doors open for you, never lets you carry anything ever even if you insist you’re fine.

You’re cold? He’ll be wrapping his jacket around your shoulders before you can even start shivering.

Will still give you forehead kisses and probably also kiss the back of your hand because he is SOFT AF.

One day you surprise him with a kiss on the lips whilst you’re out for a stroll and he goes red and probably starts tripping over his own feet but is grinning the whole way home.

I would love to join! The cases and scientific explainations you may share might be interesting! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😚😌☺️😁😉✨💯👉🏻👈🏻

Community

I have been notified of a new feature on this website, so I decided to make a little experiment and create a community of my own. Although I am usually not a very community-oriented person as you all know and rather a recluse, I am still ready to experiment with new features. Maybe it turns out to be useful or fun, who knows.

But anyway, if you want to join and become a part of the only consulting detective's community, you may comment on this post and I will send you an invite. For whatever reason it only works when I send an invite, which is quite tedious.

Thanks, Sherlock! 🕷️❤️😍🥰😘😄😁😆😅😂🤣😉☺️😌🥹🫠👉🏻👈🏻

What's more fitting for Valentine's Day than a heart? Besides a beheading, of course. Although the organ responsible for the feeling of "love", or also known as massive release of Oxytocin and Dopamine, is the brain. But culturally the heart is seen as the residing place of love. Although the heart does express Oxytocin receptors and can respond to it, in experiments even inducing stem cells to regenerate the heart. Maybe love does have its use after all.

Anyway, have a microscopy picture of a heart, showing cardiomyocytes.

I hope @consult-sherlockholmes didn't dislocate his hip! Because I sure know what that feels like! Can't you just force Sherlock to let you examine him, @consult-johnhwatson??? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍✨💯🥹🥺😅😭🥲😳☺️👉🏻👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.

I can't believe I'm actualy going to ask for this but, I wanna know Slender brothers reactions when one of the other creeps (or even the other brothers) tease him for his crush on the reader who happens to walks by at moment and hear everything? If you write for them and want to write this of course

Here you go! I hope you like it! Sooooooorrrry its taken so long ): 

~~~

Splenderman:

·         Splender cares not for ‘teasing’? Pft. What are you talking about! He’s a centuries old eldritch being who basically feeds off of the happiness around and inside him- you don’t think he’d have learnt not to be bothered by most words by now? (I say ‘most’, because words said by his brothers that ring with truth still, of course, hurt and push him to change and improve).

·         But, Slender is still irritating when he’s persistent. And Slender is always persistent. Stubborn bastard. Especially when he has a goal in mind- which is to get you and Splender out of his home because you’ve both been here for 3 months non-stop, beating around the bush with each other and not just coming out with your feelings and Slender is going to get you out of his house even if it means playing cupid *Disgust audible on ‘cupid’*.

·         Splender is aware of this ulterior motive to Slender trying to get him to confess… its just not enough. Splender never confesses feelings first to mortals, although he really wants to. He wants you to come to your own conclusions first because he doesn’t like the power imbalance involved in him taking the reins in a romantic relationship between you, a mortal, and him, an omnipotent immortal being. (Side note: He will absolutely never, ever, in a million years read your mind, either. Absolutely not)

·         They’re in one of the many hallways in the mansion and you’re walking through the kitchen on your way to the living room which will lead to this particular hallways, when everything goes to hell (Or heaven, depending on how you feel XD). “I can’t, Slender.”

·         Quickly, out loud and out right, Slender says. “You’ll never know how bleeding irritating your sense of morality is to me Splender.”

·         “Hm, what?” Splender hadn’t quite heard what he said because he had to quickly catch a book that had slipped off his pile, as he was busy carrying some books down the hallway (Towards the Livingroom doorway) to the archive room down the hall as his little brother badgered him.

·         “I said I hate your moral compass.”

·         “Ah, what’s new?”

·         Slender, for a moment, stops talking. Doesn’t have a quip ready yet then, Splender thinks. Must be thinking of a new angle to persuade me with.

·         Really he’s sensed your approach to the living room door, just as they are, and is waiting for the appropriate moment to be am evil little shit. “Ah, mind blip. What were we talking about again?”

·         Splender reads the cover of the book he saved from the floor absentmindedly. “My ‘Complete idiocy in staying in your home, that I helped to build in the first place, as I wait for lovely Y/N to confess to me so I can confess back and not force her into a relationship with our power imbalance, which is bothering you, King of The World Slenderman, for but a couple months of your immortal life’? I think that’s how you put it- I mean, I could have added some things but- “

·         “Oh, good afternoon Y/N. Finally. You’re here.” Slender greets you, standing now in the living room doorway as they stand, like, 2 feet from it. Definitely not far enough away that you didn’t hear all that. “You heard. That’s wonderful. Bye, then. I expect you both out by the morning- if I do see you then, you’re on your own for breakfast you squatters.”

·         Then Slender disappears and you and Splender are left standing shocked in the hallway.

·         “Umm… “Splender wonders what he could say, being cautious as he slowly lowers the books from his face. “Dear, we should talk.”

·         You grin. “Come on, hand me some of those books and we’ll talk while we put them away.”

Offenderman:

·         Look, Offender can handle teasing. All the Slender’s can (Except for Slender, haha), but Offender especially doesn’t mind it because he has total confidence in how, uh, disturbing he is and his ability to scare people off. Especially, he thought prior to this day, little scrawny oven fried teenagers.

·         But apparently, he had overestimated his capability with this particular pest.

·         Offender had come to Slender mansion today to rest up because no place is quite as uneventful and as such, good for rehabilitation as his brothers home (And also, you’re here so that’s obviously a factor) is, but Jeff had been catching him every time they were anywhere near each other with a quip or a chortle about his obvious feelings for you.

·         I mean, of course they were obvious (To everyone but you, clearly). He flirts with you heavily, and yet has never made a proper, serious -unwarranted, - advance towards your person. He always saves a seat for you if he knows you’ll be around, and he’s been around the mansion far more often then he used to be. So, yeah, it was obvious. Offender wasn’t trying to hide it- in fact he wanted you to know. But somehow you hadn’t picked up on the hints?

·         Jeff had, though. And, also, everyone else who has visited the mansion at any time that you and Offender are there as well. But Jeff is the only one posing a problem at the moment.

·         He just thought it was so funny, that Offender had found a person he actually liked, and who caused him to hesitate about hurting (The first time he met you, and he intended to hurt you he hesitated. And that is how he realised he had a crush), and Jeff would just not let that slide.

·         Offender had brushed him off and snapped back at him in his casual, yet very very threatening style enough today.

·         So now Jeff had to be really dealt with.

·         “Look, ugly child, in my experience a boy only spends this much energy on someone if he likes them. So, unless you want to prove your worthiness to me in a more private setting- I’d give it a rest!”

·         And that moment, in which Offender has cornered a Jeff The Killer who is now reconsidering his actions today in the shadow of the Sexual Offenderman, is the one you walk into.

·         Jeff and Offender spot you at the same time and as Offender’s wondering how he can twist this into him not actually threatening to rape Jeff, Jeff’s panicked pea brain goes a completely different direction to what his cunning (Yes, I promise you, when he isn’t panicked because a Slender Brother is hovering over him, he can in fact be smart) ass would have done in another position, and points to Offender and exclaims- “He’s in love with you!”

·         Offender stops- Well, actually, thank you Jeff, that’s actually helpful. You might actually hear it, now. But he is still frustrated by the boy so he turns away from him and just growls, “You’re excused, thank you for your service Jeff.” *And in Jeff’s head: And wish on your lucky star that I don’t visit you when you’re sleeping tonight. You’ll learn it’s not so funny to badger an eldritch monster. *

·         (Don’t worry, he doesn’t plan to visit Jeff at all. His focus is on you now)

·         Jeff BOOKS IT, anyway. Cuz he doesn’t know that!  

·         Now that it’s just you two, and he has sufficiently scared Jeff shitless, Offender brightens again. “Y/N!~ I think it’s a good idea that we have a sit down together and talk about this, yeah?”

·         *Cue Offender manipulating you through acting like a nice, level headed guy who just wants ya’ll to have tea together, into sitting with him and so he can charm you, now that he knows you actually understand his feelings*

Trenderman:

·         Zalgo is bored. And when Zalgo is bored, the Slender brothers end up getting bothered. It’s usually Splender or Slender (Mostly Slender) and almost never Trender, but Zalgo is happy to work with this.

·         There are two reasons Zalgo never gets to annoy Trender. 1. Trender is usually very levelheaded, and as such, is the least fun to play with. Zalgo can ordinarily, never find a good angle. And reason 2 is a result of the first reason: Being that he never has anything going on that can be picked on.

·         But… now, Zalgo knows about a little crush that Trender has! And as such, he can finally finish his collection of annoying the Slender Brothers. So yay for Zalgo!

·         Not so yay for Trender.

·         “Zalgo, I’m really busy, so let’s get straight to the point. We’ve never had any sort of relationship, so, and take this with the most sensitivity- why are you here??”

·         “Ooh, so authoritive and formal. Just like Slender- tell me, Slender’s older brother, why haven’t we had a relationship?”  

·         “Can I pay you to leave?”

·         “Oh right! You would rather Y/N think you’re hot. I wouldn’t worry, I’m sure they do. Don’t worry, you have Slender’s formality, Offender’s shoulders and Splender’s approachability, “Chef kiss. “Perfection!”

·         Trender’s mouth rips open and he forces a natural growl out. He hates being compared to his brothers. He is not a cocktail of his brothers; he is nothing more and nothing less then himself.  “You deeply offend me. You’re whole being does.”

·         “That’s what I go for!”

·         “Anyway- “

·         “Anyway,” Zalgo mimicks Trender here, getting a deep sigh from Trender in response. Chuckling, Zalgo, straightens himself and speaks again in his normal voice. “So you do like Y/N, right? I’m not way off?”

·         Trender, mid wiping down his face halts, then turns to look at Zalgo. “Wait- That was the point of this conversation!?”

·         “Yeah! Wasn’t that clear?”

·         “No!” Trender exclaims, outraged. He thought Zalgo was just mindlessly antagonising him- that sure is what it felt like!

·         “Well, haha, mate. You were way off, then!”

·         “Agh, YES! I like Y/N! Wouldja go, now?”

·         “Certainly!” And, with one last giggle, he does. Walking down the hall to Slender’s office. He sends finger guns and winks to someone hidden in one of the rooms he passes. “Oh hey Y/N, see ya later! I’m sure you have lots to talk with Trender about!”

·         “Uh… yeah… “ You, left standing in the doorway to your room as you were about to leave it and go get something to eat when Trender yelled at Zalgo that he liked you, turn down the hall to a very still, very surprised Trender. You raise your eyebrows.

·         “Oh… of course.” Trender drops his arms to his sides and zips his mouth shut again.

Slenderman:

·         “Toby… “Slender says the words slowly, nearly whining in frustration as he just wishes his proxy would leave him alone about you. Alas, Slender had made a mistake and given Toby the duties that revolve around being close to their boss all day, like a moron, and now he was stuck with him.

·         And it’s not like Toby is teasing his boss. No! He’s but… questioning him.

·         Interrogating him.

·         But in the friendliest way possible!... Which just so happens to annoy Slender even more.

·         “So, you don’t like them?? Yes? No? Maybe? ‘Its Complicated’? Do they scare you? Do you know anything about them? Have you told your brothers? I mean, I wouldn’t. You might though, they are you brothers and you trust them, right? RiGHt? Uh well… on second thoughts, maybe you don’t. You’re a lil bit of a locked shell you know boss? You should confide in someone more! You’d feel way more chill. I confide in Masky or Clocky! Masky only with gross things like this mole I have on my butt- He hates it. I also talk to Hoodie! But I feel like he tells everything to Masky, he’s a bit untrustworthy. A bit off, I dunno. Scares me- OH maybe that person that you can confide in, sir, can be Y/N!”  

·         “Toby!”

·         “Yes boss?!”

·         “Calm yourself!”

·         “Yes boss!!”

·         “I need to stop hiring rando’s off the street… “Slender mutters to himself, continuing down the hallways even grumpier than usual. “Next time I need to pick up an accountant or a lawyer or something… Absolutely no more waffle crazy arsonists. “

·         “What was that sir?”

·         “I was just pondering where I should bury you after I get your replacement trained.”

·         “Ah, right sir! I always liked that bit of earth down by the lake- not too cold, not too warm, no bears nearby… “

·         Slender groans, turning and entering into the living room and going for the kitchen. He needs a cup of tea desperately.

·         “Toby, new rule. No more talking about my ALLEGED feelings for Y/N, got it? Punishment is death.”

·         “I wont need to sir.”

·         Immediate suspicion fills Slender’s chest. Toby… wont… need to talk about it? Why? “Why is that, Toby?”

·         “She’s sitting on the couch, sir.”

·         Slender has never whipped around so fast. But once he has, he definitely feels the need to do it faster, again, and run off somewhere but he restrains himself.

·         There you are, bundled in a blanket on the couch like a caterpillar sitting up the remote and some of your fingers peaking out from the face hole (The struggle of turning on the TV when you’re bundled up in the blanket, aghh). Your eyes are wide, as anyone’s would be after hearing the Slenderman hint that he has feelings for you.

·         It’s a very awkward moment. You, a caterpillar, Slender, a mute, and Toby looking between the two of you expectantly waiting for something to happen.

·         … Before Slender teleports away without a word.

Could I request for the Yandere slender Bros having eyes for the same person?

haha what eyes

Yan!Slender Brothers

Out of all of them, I think Slender would be the worst.

He has a power complex, and it's not the principle whether he has his darling, it's the principle that you are HIS.

Slender does not take it kindly that there's three other people after you, let alone his brothers of all people.

He morally can't dispose of them (and on top of that his Mother would slaughter him).

But he does try to scare them off with threats and even some bodily harm.

Second handedly, of course.

But Offender isn't afraid to throw hands with anyone.

He will physically fight for his love, whether it kills him in the process or not.

He might get a brain injury or two if he tries to go after Slender, who for sure has the most custody over you at the moment.

Trender is more reasonable and tries to talk things out to create a deal.

He'll borrow you for a day or so to say goodbye, and then give you back to Slender.

Of course, he won't follow through with it, but that's beside the point.

Splendor, however, is a little shit.

He's the youngest sibling, and he knows how to get away with a lot of things under his brother's noses.

If he's strategic enough, he'll be able to whisk you away while Slender is distracted with his other siblings.

Slender, Splendor, Offender will not give you a choice between the four. If you don't love them, you'll just have to learn.

Trender is more lenient and self-aware. He knows you can't change love. But he will try to change himself so your heart will sway in his favor.

This doesn't mean he won't pop up frequently to check on you.

Morning Classes

Severus Snape x Reader

Summary: You spent the night in your boyfriend’s bedroom, at the school he works at. The issue with sleeping in a dungeon, is that you can’t tell when it’s sunrise. You slept in, and decided to make it known to everyone that Severus Snape CAN get some bitches

Warnings: None really, besides implied sexual content. But none actually. Also teenagers being teenagers, and poor Snape ready to have a heart attack

“Sevvy?” You yawned, as you would lift up your head. There you were, in satin sheets. Perfect for the muggy weather that the dungeons collected. Breathe able, light, and soft. Made you want to never leave the ink and emerald covers, but you wanted to get some breakfast with your boyfriend.

Another yawn left you, as you climbed out of the covers. Quick to steal one of his dress shirts, and cover yourself up in. You loved how it was a dress on you. Made you feel so safe, and warm. Emotionally, anyway. Despite the muggy weather of a dungeon, it can change and become so chill. Just a matter of when Peeves wants to snuff out the fire places.

“Sevvy? I want us to get some breakfast.” You called, as you stretched your body. The cold stones sending shivers through your feet, and up your spine. “And cuddles. I want more cuddles.” You cooed, as you would force open the heavy door. The one to lead to his classroom. Took some effort, but you broke through.

“Sevvy, sweetie? Let’s get some br…” Your heart dropped, as you froze. Seems you slept in, because class was in session. The familiar smog of the potions brewing filled the air, but never enough to hide the faces of his students. Along with himself.

The way every student was jaw dropped, at the realization that someone was in Snapes bedroom. Not only in his bedroom, but clearly having spent the night there. They just couldn’t process it, and neither could Snape. That ever cold scowl vanished, to be replaced with the most brilliant of pink cheeks. Seems Hogwarts was just a breeding ground of making sure he got embarrassed.

“Oh….I….Apologies….It can be kinda hard to tell the time, when you are underground.” You gulped, as you rubbed the back of your neck. You tried to step out of the room, but your back came into contact with the door. No way did you want to turn around, and risk exposing your naked butt to a bunch of kids. That’s not only gross, but also very embarrassing.

“Damn, kinda hot-“ A student said, causing Snape’s head to spin so sharply. You are surprised that no bones were broken in the process. As if he had time to figure out who said that. He had a partner to worry about. He cursed himself for letting you sleep in.

“Not. A. WORD.” He warned his students, as he quickly ran to your side. Swiftly he would take off his ever present cloak, and wrapped it around you. Let you be covered, as the students still stared. Never did they think Snape could be human. Find love, have a romance, be intimate with someone. It was just kinda assumed he was an entity all on his own.

“I am so sorry-“ You quickly whispered, with shame in your eyes. Way to go. You had to humiliate him. A man that’s been burdened with such all his life. You just had to give him more trauma. Way to go. That’s reading on your face like a book, and he won’t have any of that. He will break the cycle.

“I should have left a note-“ He tried to whisper back, but failed. The classroom was so silent, from shock, so much as his own heart beat could be heard. Was Snape taking responsibility for his own actions, and not wanting someone to feel bad? Who is this imposter? That was getting the class rowdy now.

“Students-“ He warned, but the teenagers in them were over ruled. They had so many questions. Who is this person? How did you two meet? Did you go to Hogwarts with him? Are you from another school? Pure blood? Muggle born? Did you top?!

“I uh. Just better go get some pants on-“ You swallowed, as he nodded. He was quick to open the door for you, and you ran in. It would then slam behind you, but it couldn’t muffle the gossiping of the class.

“Children-!” He warned, but their curiosity overruled their fear. They had to know. Who the hell were you?! Why would you settle for him?! So many questions, so little class time to figure it all out. They needed to know!

You made sure to hurry up, and slipped on some random bottoms. Along with a cozy top. Just clothes to actually wear, as to go out there and save your boyfriend. It must be an emotional nightmare to deal with. A bunch of students ganging up on him, much like his childhood. You will save the day.

“Hey everyone-! Sorry about that-! So uh. Hi! Yes, I’m his romantic partner. No, we didn’t meet at Hogwarts. I’m a-“ You began to rattle off, as to try and settle everyone down. Along with give Severus a moment to breathe. Breathe, and process what is happening. So much for staying under the radar.

“Why him?” Someone asked. Damn, even you could feel Snape’s death glare towards the student. Stings, but you snuck your hand to tangle with his. Comforting him, with brushing your thumb over his knuckles.

“Oh where do I start? Handsome, smart, charismatic, playful-“ That got a brow raise at the remark. The moment you kissed his cheek? Everyone was gagging, and making mock throwing up noises. You swore you saw a smile tug at his lips, at such foolery. Had you giggle, as you nuzzled your head into his shoulder.

“Thank Merlin, the bell-!” A student shouted, as the clock tower rang. Everyone was quick to bolt, leaving behind cauldrons full of left over potions. That had him rubbing his temples, but you already grabbed your wand. Working on the first one for him.

“The talk of the school….again….” He grumbled, as he would work on another one. He never liked being in the spotlight. If he could hide in the shadows, he would. Impossible now. Given the ‘scary potion master’ now had a romantic partner. Someone could love him? Such horror.

“Oh hush. Bet they are just jealous that I’m the lucky one.” You soothed, as you would give his cheek another kiss. Make that, multiple kisses. Just peppering him, and not willing to lighten up. Not until he smiled.

Took a minute, but he did. Just for you. He smiled, and soon returned a peck to your own. Far softer, and quieter. Just how he was. Like a gust of wind, in the moonlight. One of the endless reasons you adored him.

“So…..no breakfast-?” You puzzled, before he handed you over an apple. He had made sure to grab you something, after he had his own. He kept you in his thoughts. Had you just beaming, as you happily took it. Taking a large bite, as you now sat on his desk. Eye candy, as he worked.

Maybe today won’t be so bad after all. He’s in good company.

Slender Man headcanons?

Slenderman Headcanons

Ooh boy

Probably not the worst boss in the world, not the best one either.

He's so emotionally cold. He tells jokes all the time but no one can tell.

He's about 14 feet tall 😬

He likes to go out and find Proxies and Housemates himself.

He always forgets who he sends on missions and Masky always has to plan it 🤣

He's actually a pretty good father figure. If there were more Slender-type beings I'm sure he would have a couple of kids by now.

Super family oriented, won't admit it.

Sometimes he takes in new Proxies just to baby them. They end up dying quickly though because they think they're safe from him.

He always knows who's in the mansion and who isn't.

He works on the very top floor of the mansion.

Doesn't really need sleep, so he uses his time for virtual meetings with other Urban Legends and High Status Pastas.

Him, Zalgo, and Puppeteer have a FEUD.

No they won't talk good about one another. If you ask what it is, they grumble. 😬

In reality, they're all just power hungry. :/

Doesn't really like the demons in the mansion, but they are good workers, so he keeps them around.

Slender would 100% use his tendrils to do shit. Yes they make the pasta's heads hurt.

Does he give a shit? No.

Since he technically makes the Proxies work, he pays them. Nobody knows where this money is from.

Hint, he robs banks.

Slender used to have an emo-type phase when he was about 6,000 years old. There's drawings of it.

Kills those who find out about the mansion and their loved ones. If you're not dead, chances are you are going to become a Proxy.

He likes to knit items for the housemates. He made Jeff a beanie. Jeff wears it in winter. :>

He is also surprisingly good at cooking, but makes Sadie do it.

I hope these were okay!