Somebody Please Talk To Me About Why The Fuck William Finn Decided To Make Whizzer Good At Karate

Bored

So.. story suggestions? I can put them up on my quotev, or just give you the docs link. Idk. I’m half decent at writing. 

I’ll do like, Dear Evan Hansen (basically any ship or idea is fine) Sally Face (same story) Assassination Classroom (yeah)

dk, you can give me random shows and etc and if i know what they are decently well then i’ll write whatever ya want for them :p

so fuckin bored lol

Incorrect Total Drama

Cody: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Gwen: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Noah: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Harold: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Courtney: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

-

Beth: What if the person who made Walkie Talkies named everything?

Lindsay: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Cody: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Harold: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Duncan: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Gwen: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Justin: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Noah, annoyed: You are all disappointments.

-

Chef: Nothing in life is free.

Sierra: Love is free!!

Owen: Adventure is free!

Noah: Knowledge is free.

Duncan: Anything is free if you take it without paying.

-

Courtney: Are we really going to let Sierra keep Cody?

Gwen: We kept Duncan.

-

Sierra: Bye, Courtney! Bye, Gwen! Bye Cody! Bye Duncan! Bye Noah! Bye Cody!

Gwen: You said bye to Cody twice.

Sierra: I like Cody.

-

Gwen: Goodmorning.

Cody: Goodmorning.

Justin: Goodmorning.

Izzy: You all sound like robots! Try spicing it up a little bit!

Noah: Morning motherfuckers.

-

Eva: So my question is, my girlfriend keeps going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of uncooked fettuccine-

DJ: I would hope that their not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Courtney: In the pantry!

Eva: She keeps eating them raw and calling them chips, how do I make her stop.

DJ: Is your girlfriend here?

Eva, motioning to Izzy: Yeah.

Courtney: You're a MONSTER! Words MEAN things! >:(

Cody: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they do have, like, a fettuccine bottle that you can just grab out of- and chew-

Cody: NO, WAIT WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE USED TO GO TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS??

Cody: NO, STOP, EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE IN THE LOBBY AT OLIVE GARDEN-

Noah, walking past this insanity: No.

Cody, turning to DJ and Courtney: YOU FUCKIN' BASTARDS

DJ, trying to ignore that: YAYYYYY

Courtney, about Olive Garden: THE ~PRESTIGE~

-

Gwen: Favourite horror movie?

Duncan: IT.

Izzy: Saw!

Courtney: Annabelle.

Noah: High school Musical. After I watched it, I spent the rest of my middle school years thinking everyone would break out in song, and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics.

-

Courtney: You really came all this way to see me? How did you even get here so fast?

Duncan: Several traffic violations.

Cody: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Noah: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Gwen: Also, that isn't our car.

-

Harold: What's something you guys are better than Cody at?

Noah: Mario Kart.

Cody: Yeah. He beats me at video games a lot.

Owen: Emotional vulnerability.

-

We need more dark Noah moments.

Sierra: What does 'take out' mean?

Owen: Food.

Cody: Dating.

Noah: Murder.

Duncan: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOUR NOT A COWARD.

-

Cody: Why isn't that statue smirking at me?

Noah: It isn't smirking at anyone, their all just imagining it.

Cody: Three of them saw it, Noah, how do you explain that?

Noah: *Points at Gwen* Sleep deprivation. *Points at Trent* Paranoia. *Points at Duncan* Delusional personality disorder.

-

Courtney: Where are Trent and Gwen?

Duncan: Their off playing hide and seek.

Courtney: Where?

Duncan: I don't think you understand how this game works.

-

Chris: I am an idiot.

Lindsay:

Heather:

Courtney:

Duncan:

Cody:

Chef:

Beth:

Noah: If your waiting for us to disagree, it's going to be a long day.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggghgggg

fine

casting a spell of finish your wip rb to pass it on

yeah like why try and tear apart a probably fine friendship with sheer force of will c'mon everybody

the “rannells borle beef” thing really annoys me. like yeah it is kinda fun that christian is replacing rannells but there’s nothing more to this than that

"my gaydar is not stupid. I do not have stupid gaydar 😡" continues to go on a rant about how he hates the mere mention of the word 'gaydar.'

christian borle is an icon 😭

"My gaydar is not stupid" is a sentence I never thought I'd hear come out of christian borle

i've cracked. starting house md

WANT ME TO JUST SEND YA THE DOCK LINK WHEN I’M DONE WITH IT?? :>>

Bored

So.. story suggestions? I can put them up on my quotev, or just give you the docs link. Idk. I’m half decent at writing. 

I’ll do like, Dear Evan Hansen (basically any ship or idea is fine) Sally Face (same story) Assassination Classroom (yeah)

dk, you can give me random shows and etc and if i know what they are decently well then i’ll write whatever ya want for them :p

so fuckin bored lol

Heyyyyyyyyyy

It's ur favorite table member. Just wanted to ask you something

How do I get the butches interested in me? I'm trying to get over on the butch side with no luck :(

What can I do to draw in all of the butch baddies?

-love and ballads, the pelican harmer's gal.

my girly! hello 🫶

be yourself, slay, be gay do crime. listen to indie music. listen to girl in red.

definitely keep up the aesthetically pleasing lifestyle, and never stop the Oscar Wilde craze.

most importantly, have fun, be safe, and probably search the beach areas because that's where all the pretty and tall girls go. I've had many-a-crushes who I met at the beach lol.

also, don't crush on pelican harmers, they are def gonna end up bad for your health.

-your dearly beloved, the butch Oscar Wilde estranged parent

o no

when you need to update a kleinphy fic that’s been sitting in your wattpad undone for a year already but your inspo is fleeting but yOU NEED TO

It's Quote Time Again (P- pt. 10? I think?Dk)

-

Jared: Do you consider me your friend?

Evan: Uh, yeah. What else would you be?

Jared: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against Hedi? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.

-

Zoe: Oh my god, Evan! Those pants look great! And I bet they would look even better on Jared's floor!

Jared: Did

Jared: Did you just hit on Evan... for me???

-

Connor: I'm thinking of a number-

Zoe: 420.

Connor: No, that's so fucking immature of you. Someone else guess.

Jared: 69.

Zoe: He literally just said-

Connor: Yeah, it was 69.

-

Evan: Mom, do you know anything about emails? Specifically how to fake them?

Heidi: Emails? Evan, what is this for?

Evan: . . .

Evan: Fun

-

Alana: Do you want to talk about it?

Jared: No, I just want to cry and watch memes.

-

Zoe: I had a dream that we got in a huge fight.

Connor: Who won?

Zoe: Me.

Connor: Yup. Definitely a dream.

-

Mark: We got a divorce.

Heidi: No, we messed up a perfectly good son. Look at it, it's got anxiety.

-

Alana: What does BDSM mean?

Jared: Being Dead Sounds Magnificent.

-

Alana: Why are people so caught up in top or bottom? Honestly, I would be super happy just to have a bunk bed!

Connor:

Evan:

Zoe:

Jared: I'm gonna tell her.

Zoe: Don't you dare

-

Evan: When was the last time you ate?

Jared: Food is a social construct created and perpetuated by large scale agricultural interests.

Evan: It's... it's really not.

-

Connor: It's hard to be the gay cousin, the emo cousin, and the family failure, but someone's gotta do it.

-

Alana: You should really get over Evan, Jared.

Jared: I'd rather get him under me.

Alana:

Alana: Touché.

-

Zoe: I dare you to kiss the next person that walks in the room.

Connor: Eh, no. That's stupid.

Miguel: *Walks in* Hey, anything cool happening in here?

Connor: Okay, well maybe I'll do it. Rules are rules, y'know...

-

Evan: Have you ever had a partner?

Jared: Nah.

Evan: Wha- how?!

Jared: *Shrugs* I dunno, never asked, never got asked.

Evan: *Under his breathe* But your kinda really hot though..

Jared: What?

Evan: What?

-

Jared: I fucked up. I fucked up,

Evan: Why? What happened?

Jared: I fucking fell for someone.

Evan: Damn. Must be someone really special for The Insanely Heartless and Cold Jared Kleinman to fall for them.

Jared, glaring at Evan: Yeah. Real special.

-

Connor: Miguel is out of town, I'm cutting off all of my shirt sleeves.

Alana: ...Why?

Connor: He's pretty much, like, %90 of my impulse control.

-

*SQUIPed Jared AU bcz I felt like it*

J's SQUIP: Straighten your back.

Jared: My back will be as gay as I want it to, fuck you.

-

Evan: Kiss, marry, kill: Me, Connor, Alana

Jared: Kiss Alana, marry you, kill Zoe.

Zoe: I wasn't even on the list, what the hell?

-

Zoe: Settle a bet, what day is it?

Jared: Friday?

Zoe: Well, well, well, looks like none of us got it right. This idiot thought it was Tuesday. *Looks at Connor*

-

Evan: I look back on being 17 and think:

Evan: "Oh my god, how did I not die?"

-

Evan: Why would you give Connor a knife?

Zoe, the tired younger but more mature sibling: He felt unsafe.

Evan: Well, now we feel unsafe! *Points to himself and Jared*

Zoe: I'm sorry,

Zoe: Do you want a knife?

-

Connor: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Evan: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Jared: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Alana: My life is a little too much imagine and not NEARLY enough dragons.

-

Novel Evan: Okay! Step one of being popular: Be straight.

Novel Jared: *Exists*

Novel Evan, bi panicking: Okay! Failed step one!

-

Alana: When I was small-

Jared: *Snorts*

Jared: "was"

(He likes to feel tall)

-

Novel Evan: I'm pretty good at hiding crushes!

Novel Jared: *Walks in*

Novel Evan: I have to gay- I mean go