Sunmoonkunoichi - Bingo Bango Bongo

someone brought a birthday cake to my math class and we didnt have napkins or plates so we used scantrons

Once is luck, twice is a coincidence, a regular occurrence is fucking witchcraft

THIS IS AMAZING

Jester has Two hands and will not be stopped

y’all are missing out on the funniest relationship dynamic of CR2

Forget about the tangled web of love that stretches between the M9 (barring Caduceus our aroace king of staying out of drama), I would love if the love triangle between Fjord, Jester and Caleb just somehow naturally fell into a little triad all on its own.

Like no dramatic love confessions, they do that shit constantly with each other in secret little ways, but just Jester coming home to her mother like

Jester: mama I want to introduce my partners to you

The Ruby: ah yes that handsome orc boy that you kept going on about, he was so–

The Ruby: wait, partners???

Jester: lmao yeah I have Fjord, who rejected an eldritch monster he was accidentally raising to get close with Mother Nature herself, but that hobo wizard who eventually cleaned himself up and became one of the most powerful casters around is also my bf.

The Ruby, the actual sex god on this plane of existence and all others: hell yeah my daughter deserves the best, get ‘em my baby girl.

The dynamics of it are so funny as well. Like, Caleb is a highly respected wizard now under the tutelage of several powerful figures, so any time he goes to some sort of elbow-rubbing-fancy-pancy wizard event he of course brings his beaus.

And people are like??? “Ah yes, members of the iconic and world-saving group you are part of Mr Widogast, they must be of such high pedigree.”

And then someone recognises Fjord as Captain Tusktooth who had some sort of fake accent going on for years at a time (and didn’t he sleep with that Captain lady who was horny for water or something??? And then get her killed by the pirate king? There was something about a forbidden eldritch god?) and is praying that Mr Widogast’s other partner is normal–

but the first thing that Jester tells anyone is: “have y’all heard about my mother, best lay in the land? I am the daughter of the greastest sexer around and my childhood imaginary friend is my personal god, anyway how are you?”

Even better, out of the three, the tiny blue tiefling is the only one who can pick up and hoist their partners around, making the comical sight of long-cat and long-suffering Caleb being slung bonelessly over one shoulder, while a blushing Fjord is held like a football under the other as Jester parades them down the street in her cute frilly dresses.

Fucking FjordxJesterxCaleb is where the good shit is at wake up sheeple

*Hears all about TMA and how Jon and Martin are one of the most tender and heartbreaking romances in podcasting*

*Me, ecstatic for some more sweet gay pining, starts listening from the beginning*

Jon, first ep: so yeah those new researchers in the archives Sasha and Tim are on thin fuxking ice but fuck that Martin guy, he’ll never amount to anything

Me:

will u be the pool to my spidey, the torch to my spidey, the gwen to my spidey, tHE SPIDEY TO MY SPIDEY

double the spidey

double the trouble 

Who would win in a fight?

An eternal being who has spent decades coalescing power, manipulating kings, learning the deepest of darkest of Big Magyck

or

One rowdy orphan who cut his teeth on bigots, terminator’d his way through several grievous wounds to get to his love, and has a gun

when i was in 9th grade i tried to join the military history club but the teacher said i couldn’t join because the stuff “he and the boys” talked about was really advanced so my sister and i ended up starting a model united nations team and then 2 years later he tried to get me to join the military history club again because i kept winning model un competitions and every single boy in his club was literally in love with me and wanted me to join

but i said no bc by that point i was a smart, independent, and spiteful debate champion and too good for them so that same teacher talked the principal into letting him take over our team and kicked my sister and i (the president and vice president) out of it because he didn’t like us so then we became judges at the next competition they were going to and he was so pissed but tried to get us to cheat and let his (our) team win by default so we made sure that the kids he liked in the team that he had chosen to win and was doing all the work for lost and the kids who were still loyal to us got fair points and then i found out the teacher supported neo nazis and thats my story. the end

Krei: You've been avoiding me, Callaghan.

Abigail: How did you do that without turning around?

Krei: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

With all the amazing hype about Lup being trans (bless you Griffin), I've seen a few people question what Lup's birth name was prior to her transition. The only way I want to ever know that information is through a scene where Lup and Taako grab every offending piece of evidence with her old name on it, any other objects that tied her to her unfortunate birth as a male that makes her uncomfortable, as well as a giant sign with her old name on it and just set it all ablaze. Like the only way I wanna know about the name Lup left behind when she truly became who she was is in a giant bonfire as the twins dance around shouting her true name and setting off magic missiles that spell out her name in giant glittering letters in the night sky. That is all I want out of that scenario.