“I Don’t Want You To Love Me Because I’m Good For You, Because I Say And Do All The Right Things.

Sometimes I write in my journal as if somebody a century from now is going to find it and suddenly become captivated by the old ways of life. After they finish reading it, perhaps they’ll start living life similarly to how I do. In the past. In another life.

i was a daughter at some point in my mortal existence

now i am what’s left of a child

rugged-worn down being

who’s outgrown the wonder that used to course through her veins

how beautiful is it to be lonely

whenever the air you breathe has only been touched by your lungs

the emptiness in the echo behind your screams

thoughts to be sorted in the cavern of your cranium

how beautiful is it to be by yourself

The world I saw through adolescent eyes isn’t as brilliant now that I stand in it

I'm not afraid of death

I am afraid of the minutes before it

When my bed of steel nails

Grow into roses

If petals could talk

They would whisper in pity

By their words, I'll bloody up my hands

With the wounds the size of torn rags

And I'll tear away the civilization I made

Count every grain falling through an hour glass

Till goodbyes erode away

Mountains stand short

Bring forth my old rivers

Drain them of glory

Count every grain falling through an hour glass

Till molten corpses fall from the sky

Bells A-ringing in chaotic serenity

Doves turn to face the weeping nights

To wish my old constellations goodbye

By their words, I'll bloody up my hands

Throw away my world, let it leave my grasp

If the petals could talk

They would whisper in pity

By their words I'll wash up my hands

Lay in my lush foggy blankets

Till my eyes flutter shut

And peppered kisses, end at the hands of my crumbling world

Divide my soul and body with bleach

I'll drink it until my body is pure and free

From sins I committed at their word

following a prophecy and commiting a sin,

is how religion is born, with its birth

Comes timed demise

I'm not afraid of death

I am afraid of the minutes before it

When cold blooded sins turn dove like, gentle

If petals could talk

They would whisper in pity,

"What a fool she was, to follow a prophecy to create belief. What a fool she was, to burn dynasties for their words. What a fool she was, what a fool she was"

(Repent for your sins to make those after you believe in rules, repent for your sins to turn unity into society, Repent for your sins to look at your hands to see the monster you've become, repent for your sins, repent for your sins)

not every dead man was noble and neither are the dying

has every fall from grace been exonerated

now that your date of demise has been established

long have we honored the fallen as kings

with little regard for their true archetype

have the moribund beings been pardoned of their wrongdoings

now that they face deaths eternal grasp

-sundayafternoonsedentary

well, that's one way to test how you feel about someone:

drive them away and see if it hurts.

if it feels like your heart is imploding,

maybe you really did love them.

but then - my heart has a habit of tricking me,

of conspiring with my sense of lust

knowing I won't spot the difference for a while.

but are they so different, really? am I really that blind?

it was easier to sleep amidst clouds of smoke

that carried any potential dreams far away.

if I dream now, what will I see?

I don't think I want to know...

not yet.

I keep my eyes open and listen

to the soft rain tapping on my window

reminding me the world hasn't stopped at all, really.

For someone who couldn't sleep in the confines of four walls, her presence seemed much like home,a warmth he had never known

Having spent his favourite times amidst trees, forests and raving waves, she felt much like a storm that hitting broke the sleep of his lonely shore

Where birds perched on trees came down the Earth to meet him, she sprung her wings away from him,soaring high in the sky

Water bend their ways to come pass him by and yet she carried the vigour of an ocean untamed and wild,windy and rough challenging him with her eyes

He could bare himself to biting coldness of any sort, yet the warmth that flew from the tip of her hands caught him off guard like never before

She is in the raving spirit of the sea, the scorching life of the sun, the serenity that gives life to the moon, in his very existence

She is the dream as well as the reality and every liminal space there is to be, she is the day and night and every shade of the sky in-between.

~nt

_ She was a different kind of a wind_

Image from Pinterest

oh lover,

how I miss us

things were simple

the world wasn’t so big

we didn’t have to be anything to impress

it was just you, me, and a sky full of newly named stars

Everything is fair

Even if the rules

Were never clear

And we didn't mean

This to be played

Like a game

But this is murder

And it will never

Make sense

To anyone

Why you pushed

Me from the rooftop

While I was whispering

I love you

To the stars

Now I'm lying here-

On this cold ground

Feeling everything turns

Upside down

I close my eyes

Breathe my last

As the wind hums

A requiem

For my broken heart

-requiem for my broken heart, katie