How Things Change

You’ve Got Me Running These Loops

You’ve got me running these loops girl

Yeah running these loops

You’ve got me looking for a hole or an oops

Like magician’s rings

You like finding cracks in my writings on the wall

But you don’t lie to me and tell me that everything will be okay

Even if I'm screaming mayday

You are my Peter Gabriel sledgehammer,

As you skillfully knock down walls

With your golden retriever attitude

That possibly brightens my mood

Sometimes I feel your obnoxious positive vibe

But what you don’t know…

Is that I'd kill the king for your laugh

It seems like a fair trade for a mental photograph

That could soon be lost

Your smile lightens up the room

You make me feel like I can do anything with you by my side

You make me feel like I shouldn’t have any reasons to hide,

From you at least

I'm not afraid of all the king’s horses and all the king’s men

You believe that I could take them because I'm strong

And I know that we don’t have long

And I'm used to people coming and going

I've had years and years to get used to that,

The arms that I could die for

Could disappear and make it pour

That’s why you have to enjoy things now

While they last

And maybe that’s all she wrote for us

But we just have to trust

That our paths were only meant to be crossed

And maybe its better that we made an x out of each other

I won’t forget how you made me feel

As you tried to help me to heal

With your Potter spells, you powerful witch!

Opposites

5:55 at still not, alone

The sun is coming up

And I’ll see it down again

As the day gets brighter

The darker my day gets

If I'm walking uphill

That does not mean I am not going downhill

And if I'm in the eye of the hurricane,

That does not mean from the storm I am free

The higher I get, the lower I sink

The more I wait for the perfect moment

The faster it will pass because I am a small, white, rodent

A rodent so quiet it forgot to squeak

A shrugging girl so quiet she forgot to speak

Tempting, as it may be, I'm too tired to argue with your opinion

Scenery flashing by as I try to run on my legs of rubber molasses

Frustration drips down my face and my body

When I run from my problems I am running right into their tangled arms

Living away from them, they get bigger

Living with them, I go crazy claustrophobic

I want stars; I want the moon’s blood

I do not want to be lonely but I want to be alone

Myself

The reason I may look like a party pooper or down

Is because when I used to walk up to people and tell them my name they would give me a frown

They wouldn't say anything so I would walk away

Then I would see them sneaking peaks at me and laughing, but someday...

I would go sit away from them on the concrete wall

Or I would get a basketball

And shoot hoops all by myself

I put my high hopes on a shelf

Sometimes when I would make a hoop someone would run up to me

And kick the ball away, then laugh at my plea

For peace

I was the one who tried hard with elbow grease

But now I just go sit there anyway

To save myself from all the pain

That's why I don't go up to people and tell them my name

I just always ended up ashamed

Ashamed to be me

Whatever I did they laughed at

Someday hopefully they will realize that

They were all the bitches

That should die in ditches

Sorry I just wish I could make them pay

And that still happens to me today

Even in high school

People think making fun of me is “cool”

Why are they so cruel?

I hate going there

Because most people don't care

And they say that there are only raggies in this town

I bet you don’t know that word, go look it up, the word raggie might be a noun

But I actually try and work hard

Even though I get scarred

Every time someone says that

It makes us all sound worse than rats

Whoever says that isn't even trying

They just like to see people crying

I'm shy

Because I don’t want cry

I'm done trying

I’m Diseased

I’m diseased of adults

Assuming the worst from me

When it is just me

Then they give me a hard time

For nothing

I’m diseased of being a millennial

And adults assuming

That I’m lazy

And addicted to my phone

When it’s just me who just so happens to be different

I’m tired of feeling

Like I’m worthless

And no one will ever

Truly

Fall in love with just me and I them

I’m diseased

Of teachers

Thinking they are better

Because of a degree

At the moment I’m just 1,000 degrees of rage

I don’t want to go to school

I don’t want this factory process

Of being separated

Embarrassed

And torn apart

I’m diseased of being a product

And not a person

The only thing I’ve learned from school

Is that if you don’t want to be bent around

Then keep your mouth shut

I’m diseased with adults

Smoldering my fire

My passion

My,

Will to live and carry on…

Hey Girl!

You know you're my friend if you sign your name with a star

And you seal envelopes with nerd saliva

Girl, you're dang beautiful but you don't see it

Hand it to yourself, please I love you

For thinking I'm going to be famous

I miss you

Poor planning but we still should awkwardly get together I owe you a poem

We have lasted about 2 years without seeing each other

We're so weird

See, when your name pops up it makes me happy However you'll always be my buttrift

Who needs any insolent fuckboys?

This one has been stealing my poems

Do you know that you amaze me Angry Satan,

You are not afraid to talk about

A friend who's easy and eager to talk to, even about

Poo, you're used to it That one is my fault

We have lasted so long

Thank you for being here

Glee, I’ll try to write about just for you

Sos Is No Longer

I don’t want to be a rock

And I no longer want to be an island

I don’t want to be superman anymore

I also don’t want to be saved

Because it never works out,

When someone else is wearing the cape

I'm the one who rides this roller coaster

That is truly,

Made for only one

I must learn to accept

What I never have

Because I can’t live my life in a false reality

People say that I'm smart

Yet I fail more than the average person

People say that I'm strong

Yet I hurt more than the average person

And for honesty, I write because I'm so sensitive

And I'm tired of climbing mountains With new people

Sos

Is no longer

A silent thing I scream

I want to sink

Into this cold water

And drown in my life

I keep finding myself

Stuck on the same ship,

The ship of Theseus

Inside

The past is the past

It may not have been the best

Let’s just leave it at that

But soon I'll be free from this wrecked nest

Right now it's not fun

It's those memories

I should hurry up, get over it and be done

Families that feel like enemies

The stares that pierce through you

They judge

But they don't have a clue

Their stubborn heads won't budge

I now look forward, so don't make me look back

I will be better someday

I won the treasure by slapping the jack

I didn't mean it like that way

No one to trust

No one to hold and clutch

Heat full of tumble weeds and dust

Not even a love touch

I was invisible

They didn't care

But anything is live-able

So I built my own lair

They didn't pay attention either

Suck it up and deal

Never got a breather

No one cares how I really feel

Say that you love me then break me like a china plate

Why did you make me sit on a towel?

Well now you're too late

Never had good bowels

Always felt out of place

I'm sorry but some things can't be forgiven

After things happened I don't feel safe

But I'm going to keep on live'n

Always felt different and weird

In a bad way

I tried to make all of it disappear

Nobody I wanted ever stayed

Tears roll'n down my cheek

They hit the floor like glass

The feelings that are deep down are antique

It can happen that fast

I've learned how to turn myself into a rock

Always picking up my own head

It causes me to have writers block

While people eat the meat, I don't whine and take the bread

No one cared if my head drooped down

I was forced to walk alone

They ignored me when one my face there was a frown

That's when my heart turned to stone

Precipitation On The Precipice

Precipitation on the precipice

Perpetually with presumable paranoia

Along with possible poems that have no periods

Because life might very well be never ending

Pause...

Delete the delirium of the demons

Don't deteriorate with your destruction

Do what you want during the debriefing but don't drown in the debris

Try not to go that far

Drat

All they asked for was some alliteration

While they surrounded you with alligators in the ally

But I am writing an album of aluminum with alliances that allay

Not every allegation is right

Allure

Currently concentrating

On the cause of the catastrophe

Two cracks colliding without collecting credit

Learn that, that is simply life

Creating

I'm a nitpicky nitwit

Nincompoop that knits knots

In the neon lights of New York, I nervously take notes on networks of gnats

I will stop with the,

I will not’s because I have too many to keep 

Ends Are Beginnings

Ends are sometimes beginnings I need to get myself out of here Ends are the reflections of beginnings, it’s a simple mirror Is everything the same? Dead in the hall of lame Right now you and I are in between the beginning and the middle My bones are snapping, crackling and are brittle I need to know, what’s on the other side? For now I’ll let it slide Slide down my back, off my feet What is complete? Is it fullness of the heart? Or a lucky throw of the dart This reflection is not me, I’m lost But life is still well worth it’s cost So here I go and venture into the middle Me myself and I; piano, guitar and fiddle My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate, music playing objects, infectious like the flu Just a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate music playing objects infectious like the flu Then on some days I find myself in between the middle and the end At writing I’m not that great, not to offend But life is still well worth it’s cost This reflection is not me, I’m lost I need a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? What is complete? Slide down my back, off my feet For now I’ll let it slide I need to know, what’s on the other side? Then I find myself in the end Things don’t always break sometimes they bend Dead in the hall of lame Is everything the same? Beginnings are the reflections of ends, it’s a simple mirror I need to get myself out of here Beginnings are sometimes ends

Camp Sloane

It felt like I started a new life

A good one

A happy one It was a life full of new people

And new experiences

That were better than ever before A life without popularity

A life built of trust

And support A new home

In tents and out of town

With a better view of the lovely stars Now I'm back in my town

Back to the same life

Back to the same person Back inside

Where the breeze does not blow

And where the sky is not as beautiful Back inside

Where there aren't any waterfalls

And yet I find my feet in the same shoes