Latest Posts by stygian2night - Page 7

Interviewer to Stiles: So what is it like to marry someone way, way, WAY out of your league?

Derek grabbing the mic: Amazing. I never thought I would be this happy. So glad he gave me a chance.

Stiles: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Stiles: just rip it off. Like a band-aid

Liam: I'm in love with Theo

Stiles: put the band-aid back on

derek: i could kill you if I wanted to.

stiles: yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special derek.

scott: stiles is missing. can you find him?

derek: what?? do you think i have him microchipped or something?

scott: well, do you?

derek: ..yeah, hang on

Stiles: if I die, donate my entire body to science

Stiles: except my middle finger

Stiles: send that to Theo

Theo: HEY

Stiles: Being a human is so confusing because you are basically an animal with a soul, so sometimes you're like, "am I experiencing a profound spiritual desolation or have I not eaten enough for breakfast?" Impossible to tell.

Derek, kissing the top of his head: Pancakes?

Stiles, smiling: Pancakes.

scott: you're smiling, did something good happen?

stiles: can't i smile just because i feel like it?

lydia: peter fell down the stairs

Stiles: *throws lamp at derek*

Derek: what the hell?!

Stiles: lighten the fuck up.

derek: stiles, you don’t have any skeletons in your closet right?

stiles: do you mean literally or figuratively?

derek: honestly, the fact that I have to specify at all is what makes me worried.

Derek: What did you do with the body?

Stiles: What didn’t I do with the body?

Derek:

Stiles: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

scott: we have fun, don't we?

stiles: i have never been more stressed out in my entire life

Derek: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Boyd: Several traffic violations.

Erica: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Stiles: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Isaac: Also, that’s not our car.

stiles: go big or go home

scott, crying: please for once in your life just go home. i'm begging you. go home

stiles: i'm going big

stiles: If you're going to talk about me behind my back, at least invite me

stiles: I hate that son of a bitch, too

Scott: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Stiles, turning to Theo: How tall are you?

boyd: Ok, one more time. You said you asked the pack if they wanted some mac n’ cheese.

stiles: Yup.

boyd: They said no.

stiles: that they did.

boyd: ... So you made mac n’ cheese.

stiles: Mhm.

boyd: And then isaac came down and took a bowl of it, to which you-

stiles: Took my fucking mac n’ cheese back from that bitch and told him to make his own damn cheesy noodles.

boyd: But when derek asked for some...?

stiles: *throws hands in air*

stiles: What did you expect me to do, let him STARVE????

derek: Are you ready to commit?

stiles: A felony or to a relationship?

stiles: Because the answer to both would be yes.

isaac: soo do you ever hear void stiles in your head anymore?

stiles: sometimes

isaac: what does he say

stiles: sometimes he makes plans to murder everyone within a ten foot radius. other times he reminds me to pick up bagels because derek likes bagels.

Derek: We all have our demons.

Scott, holding Void Stiles by the collar: This one's ours!

Derek: u either sit down and do ur work or ull end up at mcdonalds

Stiles: we goin to mcdonalds if I don’t do my work??

Derek: no

Void Stiles: I am my own emotionally unsupportive boyfriend.

Kira: You have no idea what I'm capable of!

Void!Stiles: Don't take it personally, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake.

How often do you sin?

Isaac: I don’t sin.

Scott: I sin a little.

Lydia: I sin sometimes.

Allison: I sin a lot.

Derek *looking at Stiles*: I’m sinning right now.

Stiles: Fuck that, I am going to Hell anyway.

Stiles: *pokes Theo*

Theo: do you want to die

Stiles:

Stiles: kinda idk lol

Theo: stiles, we talked about this-

Void Stiles: We could work in some of the ideas I've been suggesting?

Derek: Those aren't ideas as much as they are random acts of violence.

Stiles: *gets stabbed with a sword*

Stiles: What the fuck?

...

Peter: *gets stabbed with a sword*

Peter: *shrugs* That's fair.

...

Scott: *gets stabbed with a sword*

Scott: Not again.

...

Theo: *gets stabbed with a sword*

Theo: Are you going to want this back or can I keep it?

Theo in BH: I want Void Stiles...

Derek 1000 or more miles away, bolts awake from slumber with cold sweat, sensing a disturbance in the force, booking the first direct flight back to BH, then calling Stiles: Who the fuck are you with right now?

Void Stiles: I think I'm getting better at this. I didn't even stab him.

Kira: And we are so proud of you. No-stabbing Wednesdays, new tradition.

if i had a nickel for every time castiel has stolen a straight couple's kid to raise them with dean as their own, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.