This Hit.

i am maybe she.

and i wish to save her, badly.

for maybe she wouldnt stand.

another hit. another blow.

she might scatter in millions.

and dissolve.

in what they call, life.

-mauli

She was magnificent like that

She took the hits

She gathered the pain

And she weaved it into

Something beautiful

Something just like her

Why do i write ?

Why am i even here?

Maybe in hope.

Maybe in desperation.

Maybe is anticipation.

Maybe because I'm a little tired every now-and-then.

Maybe because i dream of being heard, just a little, for once.

Maybe i wish, that at least someone would hear a tiny piece of my soul here, and in all anonymity, not judge me for once.

Maybe someone would read me, and not get sad, and not feel guilty, and not feel sorry, and not worry ,just be there.

Maybe that's why this scribbling is sacred. Maybe that's why i keep coming back. Maybe the insecurities i never used to have, maybe my suddenly empty social life, maybe the creepy monotony hands me my pen.

To blurt out a little and to breathe a little. Maybe that's why i write.

Maybe to live a little.

Maybe.

-mauli

My 1st confession-blr, just some stuff I have been going through that might be relatable, to I guess someone.

(No self hate, just some thinking out loud and blabber,ig)

Stuff's pretty miserable. I don't feel good. I don't even know how I feel, I guess its loneliness even though I do have lovely people around...I literally don't know...

Started to feel like there is something wrong w/ me. My circle is not one which resonates with me, I still love them but no one is ever "just there for me". 17 ,and still don't have a "bff" other than my sister and mother. My cousins aren't a fan of me either, have one who is my same age but still matches "vibes" with my younger sister. We were great 2 yrs ago but...

I try so hard to be nice to people, yet I see people effortlessly happy, I wonder why I make any extra effort, no one has to, they get on fine without thinking much. Sometimes I feel sick of feeling so much and not being able to cry.

Things which give me happiness like writing or reading novels or photography or nerding out on cosmology etc., I can't do any of it without being guilt stricken every singe minute. Even as I write this I realize I need to complete my Chemistry notes and physics assignments and practice math, afterall its 12th grade, the LIFE DECIDING YEAR... but I seem to do neither hard work for 12th marks nor extra stuff I like.

Sometimes, when I like ,sit down to think, I feel like I'm a no-one sitting in middle of nowhere , meaning nothing to anyone except my family and teachers. I AM REPLACEABLE. The worst thought... I am not an indispensable part of anyone's life other than my family (which is obvious I guess + cuz they are lovely coping up with me)...

No, I don't hate myself. I love myself. I just am at a phase where nothing is moving...All still...and in that stillness, I feel... not very happy.

I wished so much after I came out of 10th, but my life has been nothing but monotonous...

The people I thought were a gift to me, turns out I don't matter that much to them, and I feel guilty of expecting too much. Still, I wonder, is it too much to expect some kind of care or support from people who claim to be yours? Maybe, it is.

True , so true , and sometimes those teachers mean more to you than they are expected to by the world.... The good ones are so underrated

getting compliments from teachers does blessings to one's self-esteem

Speak less, mean more

I was tagged by @asmeeneh to put my lock screen, last song i listened to and last picture i have in gallery ... Thanks for tagging me in this! It is a really fun thing to do sometimes you know, just cuz. So Here it goes....

My euphoric moon and sky lockscreen as I love sky!

Recent screenshot of an if post that I feel was so on point

Know me too well by New Hopes Club and Danna Paolo, they are too underrated!

Adding my own bit to the game , My Fav Tumblr pic, Idk why but it just has some magic to it !

So I am tagging @moonlilyposts ,@analisam05 and @vantaerayleigh1997 @reaching-verity . Have fun ! 💜✨☮️

I saw you dreaming,

wishing with your

hands held high,

reaching for the stars

as if their light

belonged to you,

and I loved you then.

Each breath, a pain.

Each gulp , a shame.

Yet smile is all they see.

The tears of rage

now turn to ashes,

I still look upto thee

I still look upto thee

Still Look Upto Thee

Artwork: Karl Bryullov, ‘Last Day of Pompeii’

So mortal of me,

So naive of me.

I still look upto thee,

I still look upto thee.

I offer my years,

I offer my tears,

So insignificant,

So incomplete.

I hold my hands out,

Still beg for mercy.

I still look upto Thee

I still look upto Thee.

Reaching Verity

Their eyes stare close,

parallel into each other.

These mirrors of their souls,

create some infinite reflections,

Gazing deep inside, they see

their histories unwind ,

while their hearts intertwine.

They collapse in each other,

as if two black holes collide,

ending light, ceasing dark,

rebuilding space , creating their time.

Buried was a universe inside, now is

a spark that's theirs to be,

forever and ever...

-mauli

Ahhhh perfect and pure fantasy of love ✨💜

jazz music is just so great and romantic like yes just spin me around and dance with me in the kitchen while sinatra croons on the shitty radio we own and just love me love me love me