@buckrecs omg I feel so special thank you so much for mentioning me :)))))
Hi I was wondering if you had any recommendations for lumberjack!bucky
masterlist | req masterlist
ONESHOT
Hero Next Door by @jobean12-blog
You and your dog Winter have recently moved to the quiet of the country and you love it then you meet your new neighbor...
I’m yours by @peteyprecious616
soft lumberjack Bucky drabble
Safe Heaven by @world-of-aus
I’m Sorry by @wh0reforoldmen
Dark!Bucky You made Bucky mad, and he makes you apologize for your "wrong doing"
ooey gooey by @thornsnvultures
Every morning, Bucky comes to your store for terrible coffee and maybe something a little sweet on the side.
SERIES
Undisclosed by @pellucid-constellations
Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either.
Sturdy Roots, Strong Hearts by @rookthorne
Life in your small town could not have gotten any better, you had sworn. That was until you started to call a handsome, brooding lumberjack your best friend, and you developed butterflies at any mention of his name, or thought of him. Sure, it was going to be fine, you could do this. What could go wrong?
Through Sea Mist and Shadows by @archive-obsess
after years away, (Y/n) returns to the small family farm on a remote Maine island that was once considered her home. things are different now, her family bears her sad smiles, the fisherman's boy is quiet and reserved, and she herself has changed beyond her own recognition.
Lumberjack AUs by @angrythingstarlight
Lumberjack!Bucky Masterlist
Lumby and Bunny by @sweetdreamsbuck
Bucky's never been so scared of a feeling in his life. there are too many what if's– too many fears bubbling deep within the parts of him left broken and hollow, untouched for far too long. but he never envisioned finding you– and he's entirely too impatient; entirely too certain no one's ever been more infatuated with something than how he feels for you.
Bucky Barnes in the new Thunderbolts Special Look.
Do you know someone who may be impacted by Andrew Garfield and his constant assault of incredible acting, boy-next-door-to-DILF-transition facial hair, colorful couture, and well-fitting pants? If so, there may be help.
If you're new to the TASM fanfic fandom and feel overwhelmed, you're not alone! I recommend any new reader START by following these incredible writers who have a large number of TASM!Peter fics, and taking a deep dive into their "masterpieces." These are works that I think truly illustrate their passion and storytelling style (not just their amazing TALENT):
@spidervee - Just read it all. Clearly one of the most prolific TASM!Peter writers on Tumblr, and worthy of being "Queen Vee" since a lot of us got back into writing because of her. Everyone knows her for her blurbs, but start with Band Aids on Broken Hearts, Even on Your Worst Days, and Fractured and Familiar (part 1 and 2), and be amazed as you track the progression into deeper, risker hits like End of the World As We Know It, A Little Wicked and The Wild. Her magnum opus masterpiece is (so far) The Spider and the Sunflower.
@blooming-violets - Such a brilliant and creative mind, it KiLLs mE. First work I came across was Pinky Promise, which is a phenominal story in re: pacing, characters, drama, action, etc. Then I am REVIVED by her naughty "angel" series she DOUBLE JEOPARDY MURDERS ME AGAIN with Something Unforgivable and I'm like "goddamn this is poetic and it hurts." Then she literally murders LOTS OF PEOPLE with Smitten, which I would call a masterpiece. stabby stabb death stab
@withahappyrefrain - Girl is on fire with ideas, patron saint of Daddy Kink and Sundresses. I could not possibly list all of the amazing works on here (especially all the blurbs which are my daily sustenance) but I'd say her crowned jewel is Here Comes the Sun.
@rae-gar-targaryen - Supreme Avocado, Attorney at Law. Has a great mix of content with a chunk of TASM!Peter, such a beautiful way with words, including her visually-sublime sweet masterpiece hang the stars upon tonight
@abibliophobiaa luna lovepine-piney-piningqueen-of-pineville - Perfect Places is a 3rd degree slow burn and is just FANTASTIC. Sleep Peter burns for it. And I burn for them. Speaking of which, I'd say the magnum opus is Another Love, which is an incredible AU feat of genius.
@fallensilencefics writes TASM!Peter almost exclusively and might also get me double-pregnant with her smut works. Also Angel of the Airwaves is like a fucking awesome superhero!reader / poc!reader fic unapologetically and it's also a masterpiece.
@mrshipsmcgee - CAIT! Dis bitch got me pregnant; current awaiting a DNA test. Also: our mother-goddess, because that's her energy, and she helped me with my first stories and inspired me to get back into writing, and I encourage you to check out In Another Universe, Symbiote and my other fav, A Lord & A Lady, her Bridgerton AU that I really loved even though I've never seen Bridgerton.
@p3mybeloved started her tasm writing journey a few months after some of the others on this list but i'm blown away by how OBSESSED i am now. Also I just fucking STARTED We Can Be Heroes because I suck at tasking let alone multitasking and now I feel like I want to read one chapter a month because I don't want it to end.
@luveline Writes 50 blurbs a day with bottomless talent like it's a Happy Hour Special at Applebees and so many of them have made me WEEP like I'm alone at a Happy Hour at Applebees, she is truly a gift.
@lanadelreyscokewhor3 Is the Patron Saint of Innocence Kink and I have to be alone in a forest every time she writes something that's TASM Peter because I should not be near other humans.
@peterthepark I think she's currently retired from TASM!Peter Duty but read her lovely oneshots and her spicy Ridiculous fics are required reading for Blonde Frat Boy Peter (what is blonde fratboy peter? *laughs nervously* it was is a thing)
If you haven't discovered @decadentpaperduck, @foreverrogers, @indouloureux, and @ddejavvu then what is the point of the internet...
and honestly this list can get so long but I really need to eat now. These are blogs that I feel like post majority TASM!Peter and have all been responsible in some way for crafting the way I write.
BUT enough about my opinions. I know I missed some excellent "must read" stories.
omfg
I think that’s all my mind will be capable of thinking for the rest of the day. 🤤🥵
I know we hate AI but damn. Those picture. 🥵
Unfortunately I don’t find those fics I have read with Bucky being a firefighter. But if I find them I will link them. Or maybe some of you can send me links 😉
this is so sweet I love it so much
I really hope you mean here 🤭
Request: "Remus is being rude to the reader due to the upcoming full moon.. make it as angsty as you can"
Thanks for requesting babe <3
cw: migraine, Rem is mean :(
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words
When you come home from work, the apartment is dark and there’s evidence of Remus’ shit day everywhere.
The curtains are drawn closed against the sunlight, and there’s a discarded blanket on the couch and several snack containers half-emptied on the coffee table. One of them has tipped onto the floor, a mess of crisps your boyfriend was likely feeling too unwell to tidy. He’s spilled tea on the table, too. These kinds of things are more common in the days before the full moon, but you think he must really be having a rough one. Even a few unwashed dishes in the sink is usually enough to stress Remus out, so he has to have been in a state to leave things like this.
You brew a fresh cup of tea, grabbing some chocolates from the cabinet in case he didn’t bring any with him, and broach the bedroom. A shape moves under the sheets when the door creaks open.
“Hi,” you say softly. You kneel by the bed, lightly touching the ends of Remus’ hair. “How are you, love?”
“Bad,” he mutters from beneath the covers. You wince. He must be, if he won’t even lower the sheets beneath his eyes.
You do your best to keep the pity from your voice, knowing he’d hate it. “I brought you some tea,” you murmur, “if you want it.”
“Can’t right now.”
“It’s chamomile,” you coax. “It might help—”
“I can’t.” The low rumble of his voice takes on a hard edge, and you fall instantly silent. You nod even though he can’t see it, setting the tea and chocolate on his nightstand as quietly as you can.
You don’t tell him you’re going, sure every footstep is agonizingly loud for him. You force down the lump in your throat. Remus is miserable right now; he’s not thinking about how his tone affects you, and that’s not his fault. He doesn’t mean anything by it. You can deal with it, help anyways.
You sweep instead of vacuuming, gathering the little bits of crisps into a dustpan and dumping them in the trash. The half-eaten snacks get reshelved in your cabinets, the puddle of tea cleaned off the coffee table, and candles lit to banish the stale smell in the living room. The cinnamon ones are usually Remus’ favorite, but you trade them out for lavender on the off chance it helps with his headache. You’re washing dishes one at a time so they don’t clatter when the bedroom door creaks open.
“Hey,” you say, relieved. “Feeling better?”
“No.” Remus’ voice is low, and the scratch of it tears at your heartstrings. He trudges to the end of the hall, where he stops, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. “I need you to be quiet.”
“Oh, sorry.” You soften your voice, freezing with your hands submerged in the warm dishwater. “I’ve been trying, I didn’t realize you could hear. I’m almost done with this, so—”
“Could you stop?” he asks, tone going harsh again. “Just, be quiet or find somewhere else to be, please. I can’t deal with this.”
You swallow against the intrusion in your throat. Will away the heat from your face. “Okay,” you say, the word barely a whisper.
Remus turns, plodding back to the bedroom. You hear the door shut.
You leave the dishwater to get cold rather than pouring it out and making more noise. You sit down on the couch with a book, eyes skimming over the words as you convince yourself over and over that it’d be stupid to cry about this. Your face heats, then cools. Tears blur your vision and you blink them away. This is ridiculous. Remus is just moody, he didn’t mean it. You know better than to take anything he says to heart right now. You can’t expect your efforts to be properly appreciated, but the important part is to keep making them. When he’s feeling better, he’ll thank you in a million sweet ways, because that’s who he is. He loves you. He didn’t mean it.
It’s dark outside when the bedroom door creaks open again. You hadn’t noticed night falling, even when the light became too dim for you to make out the words on your page. You set your book down; you hadn’t been reading anyway.
Remus sits next to you without a word. He leans the side of his head against the cushion with a sigh.
“Dove?” he murmurs.
You don’t dare do more than hum in response.
A scarred hand finds your leg, the thumb sweeping back and forth over your skin. “I’m sorry for snapping at you,” he says quietly. “That was…it was really mean. And undeserved.”
“I’m sorry I was being loud,” you reply, and you can’t help it, your throat clogs all over again. “I was just trying to help.”
Your voice catches on the last word, and Remus makes a pained sound that has you silencing yourself instantly. He makes another at your response.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he rasps. “Do you want a hug?”
You bite down on your lower lip. “Are you okay to hug?”
“Yeah, sweetheart.”
He meets you in the middle, pressing upon your shoulder blades like he can hold you together by sheer physical force. You try for his sake, swallowing the cries that rise in your throat.
“I’m sorry,” he says again, palm marking a slow path up and down your back. “You weren’t too loud, I’m just fussy. You were only being your kind self. I had no reason to be so horrid.”
“You weren’t horrid,” you warble. “I know you’re having a hard time.”
“That’s no excuse.” His palm makes its way back to your shoulders just in time to feel the first little sob escape you. Remus’ grip tightens. “Aw, dovey. I’m so, so sorry. I can’t believe I spoke to you like that.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” he murmurs, kissing the exposed bit of skin where your shirt is slipping down your shoulder. “It’s not, and—” He pauses, looking around the room for the first time. “Did you clean?”
You nod against his front, feeling the pained sigh that leaves him.
“Fuck, I’m awful.”
“You’re not.”
“You were cleaning up my mess, and I yelled at you.” Now Remus’ voice sounds a tad raw too. He gathers you closer, stubble scratching your forehead as he kisses your hairline. “My sweet girl. You should have ripped me a new one.”
“You weren’t yelling,” you point out, teasing a bit now, “and anyway, it seemed like you were already being ripped a new one.”
“Still,” he mumbles into your hair. “You lit the lavender candles and everything. You deserve to put me through hell.”
“You’re already going through hell,” you remind him gently, brushing a kiss against his cheek. “I don’t need to help the process along. Do you want some tea, love?”
Remus hums. “I do, but let me get it. Let me get some for you, too, yeah?” He leans back to look down at you. “You want some nighttime tea, darling?”
You’re alright really, but you tell him you do anyway. He looks nearly happy as he drags himself into the kitchen, and he won’t stop mollycoddling you for the rest of the night.
Eddie Munson x fem!reader [3.5k] more smut with your favourite friend with benefits. slow and soft eddie, a little teasing. PART ONE
You managed maybe twenty seconds of reprieve before your body was screaming at you for more. For Eddie, for the boy, for his touch, for his-
“Kiss,” you murmured, voice still breathy, lifting your face to his, nose nudging his cheek and you felt the way it lifted as he smiled. “Kiss me, please? Really want you to k-”
You didn’t mean to sound so fucking needy, so absolutely wrecked with desperatation. But Eddie must’ve heard it in the way you spoke, felt it in the way your hands clung to the slope of his shoulder, because he was moving down into you without a second thought.
His mouth slanted over your own with the same messy greediness you felt. You were still completely naked, sheets bundled underneath you, Eddie’s jeans pushed to the bare skin of your thighs and it made you ache.
How could you still want him so badly after he’d already made you come? You were still vibrating, body buzzing from the flick of his tongue and the feel of his fingers sliding in and out of you.
But then the boy slid one hand into your hair, held you to him so he could kiss you senseless, tongue licking over your own again and again and again. His other hand traced the lines of you, from the dip in your waist to the curve of your hip, hand skimming down to cup your ass, squeeze the flesh there and pull you into him.
You could feel how hard he was, thick and hot against your thigh, trapped beneath denim and god, the way he was grinding himself into you was maddening.
You couldn’t stop kissing him though, revelling in the way it left you both breathless, more and more desperate for the other, noses pressed to cheeks, your hands tugging at his curls until he groaned into your mouth, let you swallow his sounds and keep them for yourself.
“Eddie,” you whimpered, back arching off of the bed, into his frame, trying your best to wrap yourself around him “Eddie.”
“I know- fuck,” Eddie’s voice was shot, low and rough, dripping in need and he smelled like smoke and sex and something that was entirely him. “S’alright, sweetheart, Christ, I know.”
You were pushing him back then, eyes a little wide, hair a mess and your hands on his bare chest. You tried your best to coax him backwards and the boy let you, went soft for you and let you manhandle him to where you wanted because fucking hell, Eddie Munson would throw himself into traffic for you if you asked.
So you got him on his knees on the bed, followed him to do the same and you let out an almost watery laugh at the way he didn’t let go of you, not once. He kept a wide hand on your waist, fingers splayed comically large over your ribcage, your back and all he could do was stare down at you, taking in every detail, every line, every freckle and scar.
“You’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he whispered, catching your mouth once more, making you both both cling to the other as your swayed on the mattress, kissing like you’d never been allowed to before.
And perhaps you hadn’t, not like this. Alone with the boy in a bed that smelled like him, in the dark of his room with no one else to worry about. Hands dragging over naked skin, new places to touch, to see, to kiss and taste.
“Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” Eddie was still running his mouth as he kissed you, catching every soft sigh and whine you gave him with a push of his lips to yours. “What you doin’ with a guy like me, huh?”
It was a rhetorical question, you knew that. The boy was mumbling, almost to himself, eyes closed, lips smoothing over your jaw, totally lost in you. But you felt the need to answer him, to show him why you were with him.
Your hands found the waistband of his jeans, fingers a little shaky as you tugged at it, popping the button and messing with his zipper, a little noise of indignation stuck in your throat when it didn’t budge as easily as you wanted. And then you were pawing at him, hands roaming over the ink on his chest, lips pushed back to his and you were whining, his name tumbling from your lips over and over again.
“Hey, hey,” Eddie was catching you, hand cupping your chin, pulling back enough to look you in the eye and he felt like he’d been punched in the gut at all the emotions he found there. Need, want, a heavy dose of something fond, something more. “Sweetheart, s’fine, I know. C’mere for me.”
He took your hands in his, let them drag slow down his chest, over the lines of his hips, the soft of his stomach and he unzipped his jeans with your fingers curled between his own. Everything seemed to slow then, right back down like before, like he was reminding you that you had all the time in the world. Eddie pressed sweet little kisses to your face, peppered them over the apples of your cheeks, open mouthed presses to the corner of your mouth, the angle of your jaw.
“S’that what you want?” He kept your hand in his own, hissed when he brought it to rub over the hard outline of his dick, twitching beneath his boxers. Your fingers curled around it, thick and heavy in your hand and Eddie squeezed your palm around it with his own, groaning. “You want this, baby?”
You nodded, eyes clenched shut as he pressed his forehead to your own, crowding into you with your joined hands still tugging at his cock through his underwear. The boy was panting, needy noises coming from his lips and you couldn’t believe the way your cunt was aching again, a dull throb that you were desperate to make go away.
“Eddie,” you whined and your heart stuttered when he whispered your name back, his free hand curling around your waist to hold you closer to him.
“Shit, I need- I need to be inside you, sweetheart,” he gasped out, jaw slack and parted lips ghosting over your cheek in a lazy kiss. “Fuckin’ desperate for you, please.”
You don’t know how it happened, how Eddie ended up beneath you, back against his headboard that rattled a little too loudly. But you were curling your fingers into his jeans, tugging them down his hips, taking his boxers with them until his cock spring free and slapped against his stomach. You were a mess of limbs, huffs of laughter and kiss swollen smiles as Eddie yanked off his socks as you tried to wrestle the denim down his legs at the same time, both of you completely naked before the other for the first time.
You took a second to take him in, all of him. New tattoos that appeared from under clothes, dark swirls of ink that curled over his skin. He was lean, trim waist, subtle lines of muscle that wrapped around his arms, his thighs.
He looked nervous as you sat between his spread legs, hands smoothing across his thighs as you leaned into him. Eddie could help but drop his stare to your tits for a second or two, nipples peaked and grazing across his own chest as you moved against him.
You caught his lips in a sweet kiss, your voice sticky and soft with affection as you told him, “you’re so pretty, Eddie.”
You couldn’t see, not from the way you were sucking a nice bruise into his neck, but Eddie had the sheets fisted in his hands at your words, your voice. He sighed, let his head fall back and his jaw go slack, tilting himself this way and that so you could bite and suck at his throat.
You felt him swallow, a harsh bob of his Adam’s apple as you kissed over it. He sighed, soft, melting under your touch and his hands caught your waist as you moved yourself to perch on his lap. Your thighs spread over his own, your bare cunt sliding slick and warm over the hard length of him.
He twitched, you moaned, he held you a little tighter.
“Yeah?” He asked you, voice higher and breathier than you’d heard it before.
You grinned, nodding, the graze of your lips following the line of his jaw, stubble catching on your tongue as you flicked it out a little dirty at the space under his ear. You mimicked his words from earlier, hurting your own heart with how true they were.
“Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen,” you whispered.
Eddie grinned, Eddie blushed, shaking his head at you as he smiled all soft, sticky fondness catching at his throat as he cupped the back of your neck and tugged you into him.
“C’mere, you.”
Another kiss, sloven and lazy, one that stirred up heat in your stomach, made you grind against him with a whine. He didn’t get a chance to pull away as you wrapped your hand around his dick, pumping him once, twice, before you raised yourself up a little, and sunk back down.
Eddie’s fingers were bruises on your hips, grabbing at you as his tip nudged at your cunt, slick and warm, a slow slide of you as you went down down down.
You took him inch by inch, gasping at each bit of stretch, eyes watery and on his own as he watched you, pupils blown, jaw hanging slack.
“Jesus fuckin’ christ,” he moaned, the sound ripping out of him in a stutter. You were both panting, chests heaving as you took him all, sitting pretty in his lap with his cock seated fully inside of you. “Oh, good girl, good fucking girl.”
You gasped, didn’t dare move, because you were already clenching around him and you could feel the way the boy’s cock was twitching inside of you, his head thrown back at the way you were tightening up at the feel of him.
It was too much, the stretch, the ache, the feeling of being so full.
“Eds, Eddie,” god, you sounded close to tears, too overwhelmed by it all. “I can’t, s’too good, already close, don’t wanna- fuck, not yet-”
The boy was petting at you, hands brushing over your thighs, your shoulders, cradling your cheeks in his palms as he kissed over your lips. He made soft noises, nudged at your jaw with his nose so you’d move your head back for him to kiss a line across your throat.
“You’re alright, sweetheart, yeah?” Eddie cooed, voice full of awe and heat for you. “I’ve got you. S’okay, gonna take it real slow for me, aren’t you?”
You mewled, made a little whining noise for him, because fucking hell, that’s all you could do. His cock was throbbing inside of you, his thighs already a mess with you and you couldn’t help but rock a little, hips moving over Eddie’s and making him grunt.
“Yeah, jus’ like that, hmm?” Eddie nodded, eyelids drooping with pleasure. “Can I watch you? Huh? You gonna let me watch you fuck yourself on a my cock, like a good little girl?”
You were nodding, small hands gripping around the boy’s board shoulders and you realised then and there that you’d do absolutely anything Eddie asked. His voice made your toes curl, singing with praise, thick with adoration.
“Shit, yeah,” you told him, eyes squeezing shut as he chanted his hips up a little, nudged somewhere deep inside of you. “Yeah, please, you can watch me, I can do that.”
You were babbling, a mess, back arching for him to touch more of you and Eddie obliged, one hand smoothing down the curve of your tummy, the other flicking fingers over your nipples, twisting and pulling a little rough when he felt you get wetter for him.
His lips were at your ear when he whispered, mouth warm on the shell of it, “remember, sweetheart, nice n’ slow for me, yeah?”
You nodded, all words gone as you started to move your hips. Eddie kept his hands on you, fingers splayed wide over the tops of your thighs, thumbs pressing into the crease that separated them from your cunt, just gently sliding over the spread of your folds as you rocked back and forth over his cock.
You barely lifted yourself off of him, just rolling yourself over and over, hips grinding down onto him as the boy groaned his praise to you. And every time you got too eager, Eddie tutted, wrapped a large hand around your neck and brought you to his lips, kissing you sweetly and murmuring about how you needed to take your time.
It eventually got too much, just like you knew it would, like Eddie hoped it would. ‘Cause you were whimpering, begging, petting at the boy as your eyes turned wet and you could hardly keep your legs from shaking anymore.
He gave in then, barely able to keep himself together, harder than ever as his cock sat deep inside you, throbbing for release. So he shushed you with a soft coo, gathered you in his arms and let you fall into his chest. He kissed you desperate, kissed you greedy and then his hands were roaming you back, clutching you right and finally, finally, finally he was rutting up into you.
Eddie’s eyes were on yours as he snapped his hips into yours, holding onto the curve of your ass to gain some purchase, he slack and lids hooded. He was babbling nonsense, words sticky sweet and filthy as his cock started a fast, hot slide in and out of you.
“Babybabybaby,” Eddie groaned, his hands everywhere at once, like he couldn’t get enough of you. “Fucking Christ, that’s it, fuckin’ bounce on me sweetheart, you got it, you got it, shit.”
You keened as you grabbed back at his hair, curls fisted in your fingers and Eddie grinned at your touch, like he knew you couldn’t help yourself. You scratched at his scalp, sighed at the way his lashes fluttered with it and you did as he asked, indulged him by lifting yourself off his cock, just enough to feel utterly empty before dropping yourself back down.
It made Eddie swear, head thrown back, bumping against his wall but he didn’t care, just encouraged you to do it again and again and again and again until-
“Sweetheart, m’gonna come, tell me you’re close, tell me what you need please, c’mon baby, tell me.”
Your hand was shaking as you grabbed Eddie’s, dragging it between your legs so he could thumb at your clit; rough, sloppy circles that did exactly what you needed it to do.
You pressed your face to the crook of his neck as you came, your entire body rigid against his as Eddie continued to fuck his hips up into you, the boy gasping at how tight you got around him, his arms wrapping themselves around you to hold you to him.
Another few thrusts, one, two, and Eddie was falling apart underneath you, clutching at your jaw so he could press his mouth to yours, lips parted as he moaned and whispered against you, a barely there kiss.
Minutes passed before either of you spoke, before either of you moved. Happy to stay curled against each other, still in Eddie’s lap, his slowly softening cock still nestled between your legs and you were messy and sticky, but fuck, you didn’t care.
You lay lines of kisses across his shoulder, nose nudging soft at his neck whilst the boy drew shapes over your back, his touch bringing goosebumps across your skin. And when you eventually cooled down, your body growing sore and a different ache set in, Eddie helped you shuffle from his lap, tutting in sympathy when you whined at the way he slipped out of you, every part of your body too sensitive.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered and he left you with a quick kiss to your forehead as he pulled on a pair of sweats he found on the floor, coming back with a warm washcloth and a large glass of water.
You let him clean you up as well as he could, shared his drink with him until your chest stopped heaving and you felt like your throat could form words. Reality seemed to hit, and you were suddenly so aware that you were in the boy’s room, in his bed, naked and flushed and so, so satisfied.
But you didn’t know what this was, if it had changed, if this was still the same. If you and Eddie were still the same. Because sex had always been sex but there was something different in the way he was looking at you, with your clothes on his floor and his hand smoothing back your hair so he could kiss over your eyelids, down your cheek to your jaw.
You didn’t think he wanted you to leave, he wasn’t acting like it, wasn’t rushing you but god, female insecurity seeped in and tugged at your bones, making you feel hollow and unsure.
You moved as if to find your clothes, not getting very far before Eddie pulled a large shirt out of his drawer, handing it to you with a shy smile and hopeful eyes. You weren’t sure who was happier when you accepted it, the boy’s eyes following the movement of it as you dragged it over your head, lips twisted when you realised it smelled like him.
“So, uh,” Eddie cleared his throat, stood near his bedroom door and crossed his arms self consciously. He was still shirtless, muscles flexing, tattoos shifting over skin. “Did you mean it? Earlier? About you, me… all night?”
Your stomach flipped, tumbled, like someone had lit a sparkler inside of you.
“S’okay if you’ve got somewhere to be,” he told you, a hand reaching up to tug at a curl, a telltale sign of his nerves. “I can drive you home or-”
“I don’t have anywhere to be, Eds,” you replied, voice more shy than he’d ever heard it.
“-or we could order a pizza or somethin’.”
You looked up to find him smiling, that smile you loved, slow and soft and wide, the kind that made his eyes seem warmer, like honey.
“Yeah?”
He shrugged, moving back into the room. He toed at your bra, grinning. “Yeah.”
“That sounds like a date, Munson,” you gasped, all faux shock and drama and god, Eddie adored you for it.
He was back on the bed with you, a warm hand curling around your ankle where you’d stretched your sore legs out. His thumb rubbed over you, like he was trying to soothe his own nerves as well as your own.
“It does, doesn’t it?” Eddie scrunched his nose, acted confused and like he wasn’t sure what he was saying. But his heart was hammering and he wondered if you could hear the way it rattled his bones, if you could see the relief on his face when you didn’t immediately get up to find your shoes. “S’weird.”
“What’s the ‘or something’ part?” You asked him, smiling as he moved closer, like he’d finally realised you weren’t going anywhere.
He took your legs in his hands, brought them over to rest across his own and looked at you through messy curls. Another smile, cheekier this time.
“Maybe a movie, on the couch,” his voice was so soft. “Could act a fool and make a move, y’know how it is.”
You laughed, a bright burst of sound that made his heart happy because you were still in his bed without any underwear and he’d came inside of you only minutes before.
“You’re ridiculous,” you told him, and Jesus, you could hear the sticky fondness in your voice, could feel the soft way you were looking at him.
“You’re still here, though,” Eddie answered and he sounded like he was in awe of the fact. He tapped out a guitar riff over your calf, smiled when you hugged out a laugh and blushed for him.
Your hand caught his easily, big and wide in your own but he let you curl your fingers around his, let you pull him a little closer still and you loved the way his eyes fluttered closed when you leaned in to kiss him
“I told you,” you pretended to huff, an affectionate roll of your eyes only softened by another kiss to the boy’s lips. “You’ve got me all night, if you want.”
Eddie smiled, beamed, cheeks rosy, eyes bright and he nodded. His throat bobbed like he was swallowing back emotion he didn’t expect and he cleared his throat and his pretty face in the crook of your neck when he answered:
“Yeah, I want to.”
omg I need more this was perfect
pairing: sam winchester x fem reader 5.2k
summary: stories of that one time sam surprises you, that one time you surprise sam, and that one time you surprise each other
contents: childhood bsfs to ‘i sometimes want to kiss you but like the normal amount’ to strangers trope will always be loved by me
notes: title from baby came home 2 by the nbhd. this is set during season one because ive only watched the first season of spn lol. this fact also makes me not liable for mischaracterization ok enjoy please!
— thank u to the lovely @locknco for editing this love ya
Nightmares follow Sam Winchester like a moth to a flame.
Most of the time, they’re about Jess. Before the nightmare even starts, he knows what he’s about to see because it’s always the same.
The steady drip of blood against his forehead.
The burst of unbearable heat exploding against the ceiling.
The guilt that creeps in every time without fail.
He wakes up from those nightmares with his heart pounding and a blanket of grief smothering his lungs.
But sometimes, Sam Winchester is lucky.
Sometimes, Sam Winchester dreams of you.
—
Sam wipes his eyes as he stands over your bed.
It’s your actual bed, and not one at a crappy motel in the middle of nowhere. It’s unfortunately humid since it’s creeping toward the middle of August, but Sam doesn’t care. It’s a pretty special occasion — you’re taking a break from hunting for a few days.
He’d been beyond surprised when you’d told him. Catching you at your house during the summer was near impossible with the way your parents ran you around the country, so all your free weekends were taken advantage of.
John had dragged him and Dean to a case just a state over from yours, and Sam had realized it was the closest they’d been to your house in a while. The second the bones had gone up in a pile of salty flames, he was halfway to the nearest bus station and on his way to your city.
The bus pulled in late, and the long walk to your neighborhood meant Sam arrived even later. He wondered if your parents were home and decided he hoped they wouldn’t be. The last thing he wanted them to see was the pitiful sight of him walking through their front door at four in the morning.
And despite the way you insisted it wasn’t true, Sam knew your parents didn’t like him. He’d probably be seeing the barrel of your mom’s revolver before he saw her smile at him.
(“It’s not smart to be telling people the code to your house alarm.”
You laugh in that girly way you do sometimes. Sam imagines you twirling the coiled wire of your phone cord and his throat runs dry.
“Come on. It’s just you, Sam. And how else are you going to sneak into my house?”
Your parents change the code to disarm the alarm every two weeks as a precautionary measure, and you never forget to update him everytime it changes. Sam thinks it’s sweet, but the both of you know he’s barely lucky enough to get the time to call you. The stars would have to align for him to come visit.
“I’ll go in through your window,” Sam says.
There’s a small lift in your voice. “I’ll make sure to double check it’s not you when I throw a knife at the freak climbing up the side of my house.”)
Zero-five-zero-two-eight-three, you’d told him last week.
He’d gone silent on the other end when the numbers clicked in his mind — his birthday. The code to your house right now was his birthday.
Your dad had been too busy to set it, so you’d done it yourself, using the first six numbers that came to mind.
His birthday, apparently.
Sam tries not to think about it too hard.
But now he’s here, standing over your bed and trying not to pass out from exhaustion on your carpet.
Your room looks slightly different from the last time he visited. The walls are a new shade of your favorite color, and the old desk that was in the corner has been replaced with a vanity. There’s pictures of your hometown friends pinned all around the glass, but there’s a few photos he does recognize.
One is from your ninth birthday. Dean had smashed your cake in your face, as expected from the then thirteen-year-old, and you’d clocked him with your fist a second after. The photo was taken post-punch, and you’re grinning through the frosting on your eyes while Dean clutches his face.
The other picture is of you and him from when you were both about twelve. He’s sitting between your legs, laying against your stomach with your American Girl doll in his lap. He’s braiding her hair using the instructions in an old book of yours, and you’d shoved the camera in his face before he could stop you. The photo captured him glaring into the lens of the camera, his thick brown hair pulled into two pigtails on top of his head.
It’s nearly cut out of the frame, but you’re smiling so hard behind him it makes your entire face light up. It’s one of Sam’s favorite pictures of you.
Now, you’re a lump on your full sized mattress, a new step up from your trusty twin bed. The blanket thrown over you has little flowers on it that match your bedsheets, which he already knows you’re very proud of. Still asleep, you roll over onto your back, and that exhaustion from earlier comes back with a vengeance.
Sam drops his jacket onto the heap of clothes on your chair and works to unzip his jeans before his legs give out.
If you were awake, you’d slap him on the back for that, a teasing grin on your face. “I would’ve brought some cash if I knew you were going to strip for me!” you would probably say, like a menace.
He can’t wait for you to wake up so you can annoy him even more.
Sam’s left in a pair of boxers and a baseball t-shirt from a supermarket in Pennsylvania, sweating even in your air conditioning. When he lifts the covers off the bed, he freezes.
You’re wearing a shirt he’d given to you as a souvenir a few months ago. A movie theater in Jersey they helped with their ghost problem gave them a free shirt in return. The cartoon penguin smiles at him now, balancing on one foot with his arms out, like he’s surfing. Sam smiles back while he settles in next to you.
Now that your bed is bigger, there’s more than enough room for the both of you, which is good since it’s so hot out. It means there’s no need to sleep piled up like you had to in the past.
…but Sam hasn’t seen you since that time your families had run into each other in New Mexico, and he hasn’t slept with you like this since you’d been home during your finals week a few months ago.
Under the eye of the penguin on your shirt, he slides one arm below your side pinned to the bed and uses it to pull you against him.
You complain up a storm, even asleep, but settle down quickly. He wonders if you’ll kick him in your sleep again, claiming you were dreaming of being a soccer player.
With your face pressed to the spot between Sam’s arm and shoulder, he listens intently to the nonsensical string of words you mumble out against his skin. Your musings only get more muffled as you press even further into him, throwing your arm over his torso and staying there.
Sam’s hand kindly soothes over your hip, where your shorts have little pink clouds printed on them.
“Woah,” you grumble, dragging out the word. Your hand flexes and then clenches into the fabric of his shirt. “Woah.”
His eyes dart to you embarrassingly fast, guilty for disturbing you but more than excited that you’re awake. Your voice always sounds sweeter in person than it does over the phone.
When he finds your face in the darkness, he realizes your eyes are still shut. Sam runs his hand up your side, warm with sleep. “Hey. You okay?”
Your mouth twitches into a frown. “My friend. My friend’ll do it.”
Oh, he realizes. You’re just sleep talking.
“Okay,” he answers quietly. He wants to hear your voice again, but he also wants you to go back to sleep. You only really mumble like this when you’re about to wake up from a dream. “Sorry,” Sam adds, though he’s not sure what for.
Your face screws up, but then you sigh sweetly against his chest. “Dean?”
(Even when Sam dreams of this, he still feels like you’ve beaten him over the head with that single word.)
You’re dreaming, all right. Of his older brother.
“You gotta get rid of it,” you complain, a pout pulling at your lips.
“He will,” Sam agrees, just to appease you. Thankfully, the worry lines on your face flatten out, and you move yourself even closer to him.
You’re quiet for a few seconds, so Sam closes his eyes, squeezing your shoulder in hopes you go back to sleep.
It doesn’t work, though.
You jolt up and practically launch yourself off the bed, nearly slipping on your hardwood floor before you grab onto your bedside table.
Sam calls for you, but you don’t seem to hear him, busy fumbling in the dark for the lightswitch. He leans over and flicks on the lamp, flooding your room with warm, yellow light. “You okay?” he asks.
The way you spin towards him is comically slow, like you’re being spun in a microwave. There’s a crease on your cheek from being pressed to your pillow for so long, and your eyes are barely open. Sam laments the heartbreaking fact that he can’t see you everyday.
Within the next second, he’s being flattened back against your pillows. You’re by his side so quickly, he’s half inclined to ask you if you’ve gained the ability to teleport.
He squeezes your hip. You take the hint and loosen your hug.
“Sam!” you say, at a volume much too loud for four in the morning. You don’t say anything when he tries shushing you, too busy flitting your hands over whatever parts of him they can reach, laughter spilling from your lips. “You’re here!”
“Took you long enough to realize,” he teases. “I could’ve been some kinda killer, and you would’ve gone on sleeping.”
“What kind of killer would have a face as sweet as yours?” You’re kneeling over him now, smiling so wide it makes Sam feel winded. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” he says, matching your smile. “Do you wake up from all your dreams like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you’ve been electrocuted.”
You smile. “I think my brain knew you were here. Made me wake up so I could say hi.”
Sam kisses your forehead. “Hi. Thank you to your brain.”
“Hi. And you’re welcome.”
The two of you sit like that for a little bit, taking in the sight of the other’s face for the first time in months. You seem to enjoy his new haircut, and he studies the new scar going down your bicep while you tell him the story about how you got it.
When the recount of how you were thrown out of a window starts turning into more yawns than words, he pulls you back down to the bed.
“How are you?” he asks, like he hadn’t just asked you that this morning.
Your tongue darts over your chapped lips. “Good. Missed you a lot,” you say, for the second time in the past five minutes.
“Your parents are—they’re good too?” he asks, stuttering over his words.
Whatever he feels for you gets stronger every day, but it’s only when he sees you again that he realizes just how much he likes you. He forces his eyes up from your lips and squeezes your side. Sam really wants to kiss you.
You nod, moving his arms around so you can cram yourself as close to him as the world and physics allows. “Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Your dad and Dean?”
Sam hums. “They’re fine. Didn’t even ask where I was going when I took off.”
“You didn’t tell them?”
“I think they know by now. My dad asked about you on the drive back to the motel.”
You’re curled against his left side, your chin resting against his chest so you can stare up at him. It means that his next few intakes of breath have to be done with a lot of careful thought.
“Can I just come join you guys?” you ask, and Sam’s surprised he can’t hear any hint of a joke in your voice. “I’m sick of missing you all the time.”
He makes a fist, and uses his knuckles to drag circles over your back from the hills of your shoulder blades to the jut of your hip bones.
Sam laughs. “I don’t think you’d want that.” He can tell you’re about to argue until he adds, “Moving in with my dad, that is. You know what he’s like.”
“I’d put up with it for you, though,” you say honestly.
“He treats you like shit,” he stresses. “And he likes you. Maybe it’d be better if I moved in with you instead.”
You push yourself onto your forearm so you can give him a real serious look. There’s a sore spot on his cheek from where he’d gotten shoved into a wall by some spirit, and somehow, you know.
You caress his face, dragging the pads of your fingers over it. Sam makes a weird sound in his throat, something like a hiccup, and you thankfully don’t smile too hard about it.
Sam decides that it’s probably best for his health that you don’t see each other too often. He knows without a doubt that his heart would give out if he felt any stronger about you. He soaks up the warmth of your hand on his face before you let it drop to his collarbones.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
You lean down to press a kiss to his cheek before shifting your face into his shoulder. “Just appreciating your pretty face. If you moved in, I think my parents would have your head on a stake by the end of the week.”
It startles a laugh out of him. He can’t quite look you in the eyes because you’re trying to hide from him, but he tries to anyway. “Are you serious?”
“I’m sorry!” you groan, using one of your free hands to push at his face. “I thought they liked you, I really did. But my mom found out what I changed the alarm code to and made me clean every single gun in that stupid closet.”
Cruel and unusual. “All ‘cause of me?”
You think long and hard about it. “I think it was part of it. She was also mad because I forgot to do the dishes last week, so it could’ve been that, too.”
Your parents have quite the array of weapons. The jacket closet turned armory in your living room has enough rifles to arm half the state of Kansas, and Sam thinks about what a sad sight it would’ve been: you on the floor with a cleaning rod in hand, and about fifty more handguns to wipe down.
“Poor girl,” he says, pulling your palm into his hand. He presses into the calluses you have from where your gun usually sits. “You didn’t suffer too much?”
“Nope,” you say, awfully cheerful. Your next blink is slower than the others, so he resumes his ministrations against your back. You go limp again. “Only cause I… knew you were coming over soon.”
His face warms, but he has to poke fun at you before he lets you fall asleep.
“Sam, my parents love you,” he mocks, letting his voice go quieter. “Come over for dinner, Sam. No, my parents won’t mind, they love having you over.” He smiles at you. “Must be why I gotta show up here before the sun is up, right?”
Your chest stutters before you laugh, which usually means you’re really embarrassed.
The dream ends when he takes pity on you and kisses the spots on your arms you tell him are aching from all your hard work.
—
Dean wakes up that morning to the sight of Sam hunched over the old table in the corner of the room. There’s a pile of newspapers at his feet and one in his hands, which he stares at so intently it looks like he’ll burn a hole through it.
“Y’know, if you keep scowling, your face is gonna get stuck like that.”
Sam doesn’t grace him with a glance. It’s clear he’s been up for a few hours already. “I think I got something.”
—
Rachel Anderson and John Hansen were two college kids from the suburbs of Virginia. Both were from respectable families, both were straight A students, and both were well-loved by the community.
Two nights ago, John left family movie night to shoot himself in his backyard. And last night, Rachel drowned herself in her bathtub during a sleepover with her friends. In the center of their bedroom floors were identical suicide notes. Each in their own handwriting, but not a single difference in wording or sentence structure.
Sam has to park the car down the block when they arrive outside Rachel Anderson’s house. The street leading up to the building is lined with shiny new cars — Mercedes, Lexus, and BMW logos as far as the eye can see — making the Impala stick out like a sore thumb.
Dean cranes his neck to look up at the houses on the same street as the Andersons. Pretty suburban towns like these scare him a little more than he’s willing to admit.
He whistles. “Didn’t know they made BarbieLand a real place.”
Sam cracks a smile at that. “How many of these people do you think have a membership at that country club down the street?”
The two of them snicker all the way up to the front door. Sam knocks, his brother too busy looking around at the rest of the neighborhood.
“If any of your little college friends have houses as nice as these, maybe we should make a quick visit the next time we’re in California,” Dean jokes, eyeing a neighboring pool.
Sam stops rolling his eyes because the door swings open, and he plasters on his most sympathetic smile for whatever grieving family member is on the other side of the door.
It’s a guy about his age, wearing a crisp black sweater. The dark circles under his eyes make it clear he was close with Rachel — a man plagued with grief through and through.
“Hey,” Sam says. “This is Rachel’s house, right?”
The man flicks his eyes from Sam over to Dean, who’s only now looking away from the nice looking houses to join him at the front door.
“Yeah. This is it,” he answers, though he still doesn’t open the door fully. The three of them stare at each other for an awkward second before the guy clears his throat. “If you guys don’t mind me asking, who are you?”
“I’m Sam, and this is my brother Dean,” he explains. “Me and Rachel had psych together. She saved my grade in that class last semester.”
Sam’s not surprised at how easy the lie rolls off his tongue. Lying is almost as important to the job as the guns in their trunk are.
The man, satisfied with the answer, lets the door creak open. “Oh, I see. I’m Will. Thanks for coming, you two. Everyone’s out in the backyard.”
A girl’s voice floats to the front door from somewhere nearby. “Will, is it Deb?”
William Anderson was mentioned in the article about Rachel’s death. He’s the girl’s older brother, who pivots to face the girl speaking from behind him.
“These are friends from Rachel’s psychology class,” he says, stepping out of the doorway.
Olivia Anderson was mentioned in the paper too. The youngest child of the family, just a year younger than her older sister. For a second, Sam thinks he’s hallucinating. She looks just like her and a little like Will too, down to their twin black sweaters.
A different voice responds, and something about it makes the hair on the back of Sam’s neck stand up. “Psych class? Rachel didn’t—”
The closest Sam can get to describing this moment is like the seconds before a spirit manifests. His heart kicks up a little bit quicker. Alarms ring in his head, and the area around the Andersons’ front door turns electrified.
It’s you.
You get pulled into view by Olivia Anderson, a deer caught in headlights wearing your own matching black sweater.
Sam doesn’t want to blink, certain that your face will shift and it’ll be some sick trick of the light. A dream haunting him even while he’s awake.
“Rachel didn’t what?” Will asks, not suspicious, just curious.
Your mouth opens and closes, like you’re fumbling for something to say, and Sam doesn’t blame you.
For one, you’re going to lie for them. Both him and Dean are beginning to realize that Rachel didn’t take a psychology class at all, and you’re trying to figure out how to twist your sentence into an excuse that makes sense.
And two… you’re standing in front of your best friend who you haven’t spoken to in four years. Sam isn’t surprised that you have nothing to say to him.
“Rachel didn’t like anything about that class,” you decide on, your eyes shifting from Sam to Dean then back again.
You swallow hard. It looks like you’ve—
“—seen a ghost?” you ask, grinning.
The duffel bag in Sam’s hands hits the motel floor, but he’s too stunned to even wince at the sound.
“Looking a little scared there, Sammy,” you tease, pushing yourself off of the old bed in the center of the room. “A little old, too, honestly—”
He’s crossed the room before you can finish your sentence.
You squeak at the impact, your arms being crushed to your sides with the way he captures you in a hug. The two of you stumble two big steps back so you don’t tip over.
“You’re here,” Sam says, like he can’t quite believe it. You manage to work your arms away from your body so you can hug him too. “What are… How did you—”
“Dean finally remembered my phone number,” you joke, squeezing him with a big smile on your face. “I know you guys have to drive out early tomorrow — uh, I guess today, actually — but you know I had to come see you on your birthday, Sam. Even if it’s just for a few hours.”
It’s seven minutes past midnight on the second day of May.
Sam Winchester is eighteen.
“You’re here,” he repeats. He doesn’t bother trying to wipe the smile off his face. “I can’t believe it.”
When Dean had clapped him on the back and told him he’d booked him an extra room for his birthday, Sam was shocked. Birthdays weren’t anything special to either of them, so he’d been thankful, but also very confused. Buying another motel room wasn’t cheap, yet he’d done it anyway.
From the adjoining room next door, Sam’s sure his brother has a shit-eating grin on his face. He’s probably going to hold this over his head forever, claiming how much of a great brother he is, and Sam will let him.
He hasn’t seen you in four months. He thinks he might throw up.
“You drove here all by yourself?” Sam asks you, once the two of you have settled on the bed. He takes a seat cross-legged and both of you pretend like you’re not about halfway into his lap.
“Yep,” you say proudly. “Dean had to teach me how to parallel park over the phone so I would have my license in time.”
Sam’s heart swells ten sizes. “Thank you. I can’t believe you came out all this way.”
You hit him on the shoulder. “Of course. You’re my best friend, did you really think I was gonna miss your eighteenth birthday?”
He leans in close enough to the point that it’d be easy to kiss you. So, so, so easy.
He doesn’t, though, and you don’t push it. You reach for one of his hands in his lap and trace over the ridges of his knuckles, a little smile on your face.
His hair has finally recovered from the Nair that Dean had put in his shampoo a while back, so it hangs just over his eyebrows and curls around his ears again. You blow the brown locks out of his eyes and then smile a little wider.
“I have a gift for you.”
You slink out of his lap, and Sam tries not to frown when you get up to grab your backpack. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”
“Stop worrying,” you chastise, dropping your bag onto the bed to look through. “I’m your actual birthday gift. This one’s just extra, so it’s nothing fancy.”
“You being here is worth more than any fancy thing you could've bought me at a store,” he says, and you brush his hair from his face affectionately.
“I’m happy you think so, Sammy.”
Too wrapped up in the sight of your smile, he forgets to say something about the dumb nickname.
“I got this from the grocery store down the street before you got here.” It’s wrapped in the plastic bag you’d bought it in, but Sam takes it from your hands like it’s made of gold. “Consider this one… supplemental.”
You huddle close while he takes the gift out of the bag and reads it.
“Thirteen Ghosts,” he says, flipping the DVD case over in his hands.
“Figured we could watch a movie together.” You poke his side. “See how funny they make their monsters look.”
This isn’t the first time you and Sam have watched a movie together. There was that one time when you’d watched Notting Hill on your couch, but your parents kept giving him warning looks from in the kitchen and he’d made sure to keep the bowl of popcorn and half of the couch between you two.
And Sam will always hold some level of respect for your parents because they’re your parents, but he could not be more glad to be hundreds of miles away from them right now. Because the second that he comes back from popping the DVD into the player, you’re very kindly asking to spoon, and Sam is not well known for being able to say no to you.
You tuck yourself against his front, and he slips his arms around your middle. You trap his hands there by slotting yours together, tracing over the lines on his hands like a palm reader. Sam watches you while you watch the movie, pretending to follow along with the dialogue and your whispered commentary.
The lights of the TV flicker on the side of your face as you poke fun at the actors, and he’s hit with a wave of anticipatory sadness. Sam prays to whoever’s listening that he never falls asleep. Prays this night lasts forever, and that you don’t have to go home and he doesn’t have to leave in the morning. If the rest of his life is bad horror movies and sleeping next to you, he’d die happy.
You laugh at something that jumps on the screen, and Sam can’t help himself anymore.
When he says your name, he practically winces hearing the sound of his own voice. It’s shaky and nervous, and you shift to look at him with concern in your eyes. One of the actresses screams on screen, and you squeeze his hand that you still haven’t let go of.
“You okay? Did you wanna turn the TV off?”
“I love you.”
You turn to face him completely, and Sam Winchester, the luckiest eighteen-year-old in the world, is able to watch the smile light up your eyes.
You let go of him to hold his face, like he’s something to be treasured. “I love you too, S—”
“—am, and I’m Dean,” his brother says, offering his hand for you to shake.
Your grip looks solid when you reach across the threshold of the Anderson house to take his hand in yours, as if you’re meeting him for the first time.
The whole thing feels like a nightmare.
It’s unnatural to watch your tight lipped smile and awkward shuffling while you stare blankly at Dean. You let go of his hand like he hasn’t pulled you off your couch and taught you how to dance in the middle of your living room. Like he hasn’t let you finish the rest of his food at rundown diners just because you ate yours too fast.
You turn to Sam next, and his stomach does a backflip.
Four years was a long time.
Sam knows he’s not the same person who left you on your front porch. He’d held you for longer than usual that day, and left you with a promise to visit that he hadn’t meant.
He doesn’t think you’re the same girl who was left there either. You look different. A little older, a little more mature.
(At eighteen, you would’ve given him a nasty look for that. “Older? You can’t say that to a girl, Sam.”
“I said you looked older, not old!” he would’ve defended frantically. “There’s a difference!”
“Why the hell would I want to be told I look older, you jerk!”)
And he loves you, but it’s true. You look older, but it means you look as lovely as ever. Grown into yourself and radiant in ways you hadn’t been at eighteen. You look like you’re glowing.
Your hair is also done in a way you never liked to do by yourself. He knows it for a fact, because you’d always complain to him over the phone about it, wondering how he was able to do it for you so nicely.
(He’d always said it was because he was patient and you were clearly not, but it was mostly because he’d practiced it on your old dolls a bunch of times before he’d asked to do it on you.)
Your hair now looks nicer than anything Sam could’ve done for you. He wonders if you did it yourself—if you had to learn because he wasn’t around anymore, and was never coming back.
Sam wants to tell you that he’s missed you, and that there hasn’t been a day he hasn’t thought of you.
He wonders what you would say. He wonders if you'd sound the same, and he’d be able to tell, ‘cause of how often he plays your old voicemails over when he misses you. He remembers just how you would sound when you were laughing and remembers precisely how much slower you would speak when you were upset.
You don’t extend your hand for him to shake, and Sam’s left to wonder if your hands would still feel the same in his.
And when he meets your eyes, he reads the hurt written all over your features. Hurt that he put there. Hurt that’s probably healed over in the last four years, leaving a nice long scar he’s sliced open again just now.
You nod at him. “It’s nice to meet you, Sam.”
He digs his fingers into his palms. “It’s nice to meet you too.”
notes: the party ended four years ago and she JUST GOT HERE!!!! LMAO ive been infected with the sam winchester virus but who can blame me look at his face
slightly mean eddie if you feel so inclined 🥹🫶 like stern kinda like how you do “mean sirius”. i just think him slightly bossing r around or being stern with her is 😍🫶
SMUT 18+ ONLY MDNI (cw: p in v, hard/mean dom!eddie, mostly just rough touches and bossing r around, some degradation, stoplight, all consensual) | fem!reader | 1.2k words
Eddie leans back, looking a tenuous mixture of unimpressed and sympathetic. "Baby, stop hiding."
You sit with your legs spread over his legs, face pointed resolutely at the happy trail that climbs clumsily up the centre of his abdomen. "I'm not," you say, though you can't lift your gaze to prove him wrong.
"How are you feeling?" he asks, bringing a hand to your cheek to force your head up. You smile weakly.
"Good."
"Yeah? You know all your alerts still? What colour is this?"
"I don't forget them." You let your legs spread wider, hissing as you sink down further on the splitting girth of his cock. "Green."
As soon as he knows you're okay he gets mean, a subtle cruelty, squeezing your cheek in a too-tight grip. "What did I say before? Stop hiding."
You straighten your back, hips moving in messy, slow circles and hands braced against his trim waist. You lift your head and try your best to stay up, even when the head of his cock taps into your spongy soft spot and sends a round of pleasure-shocked chills through your abdomen.
You quiver happily.
"You liked that?" he pulls his arms down from behind his head to grab your waist, pushing you down hard into his thighs.
His cock kisses your soft spot again and you feel yourself tipping forward. "Sit up, doll. Up. Wanna see you, wanna see that face you make when I stretch you out."
He lifts his hips and you gasp. "That's the one," he says, grinning.
"Too big," you whisper, so full you can't breathe right. You're sensitive to every shift, every drag of his cock, the curve of his shaft as he digs into the pulp of your walls.
"Say again," he says, pulling your hips into him.
"It's too big, Eds. I don't think I can take it."
He stares up at you assessingly. You wilt slightly under his gaze, your eyes half-lidded and lashes heavy with unshed tears.
His pinky finger is cool as he strokes down the hill of your soft cheek. "Baby, I know how much you can take." He drops his hand abruptly. "So take it."
He fucks up into you until you're panting, clinging to his waist and wanting desperately to bury yourself in his chest. Every time you try he pushes you back, his annoyed gaze lighting a fire in the pit of your stomach. You try to fuck him how he likes it with your hips rolling, almost bouncing over his length, but the stimulation is overwhelming.
"Please," you say, hands sliding behind his naked back. "Please, please, Eddie."
He tilts his head to one side. "You're so fucking clingy. Come here," he says, opening his arms with a well-acted reluctance.
You melt into him, always so relieved to garner his affection. His hands are sweet, roving up and down the length of your back in sweeping lines that soothe you like you'd wanted. "Green," you whisper before he can ask.
He stifles a chuckle, nuzzling his face into the side of yours. "You're really fucking tight. Do you need something?" he asks.
You think about it. "Can you touch me?"
"Try and relax for me, okay?" he asks, hand already moving to the place where your bodies meet, thick fingers searching for the little bead of your clit. He pushes the pad of his thumb into it and draws slow circles. "If you want to take a break, we can do that."
"I'm okay. Do you-" You gasp as he hits the right spot. "Do you want a break, baby?"
"No. A break from moulding this sweet cunt? As if." He rolls his eyes, a burning amusement slowly changing to smugness, to mocking. "Why, do you think I need one?"
You swallow dryly at the character he's become and shake your head. "No, I just-"
"Just what? Think you know better than me?"
"I just thought-"
He laughs darkly. "Ah, and that's where you're going wrong, sweet thing. I don't need you to think about anything besides this," he gives you two sharp thrusts. You wrap your arms tight around his neck, crushing dark curls to your nose. He smells like he always does; cedarwood, a heady cologne sticks to his skin.
You clamp down around him without thinking and listen to him hiss. "That's it, that's it. Fuck. Guess there's some sense in here after all," he says, lips to your forehead.
Your thighs tighten around him and he's more than perceptive, focusing his efforts on your clit, chasing your climax with tight circles.
"You gonna ask me?"
You take a big breath. "Can I cum?"
He squeezes you tight to his chest and his skin is everywhere, touching you all over, his hands and his arms and his chest, his thighs and his cock rocking into you, as close as he can be. You gasp for air as your high approaches.
"Be polite."
"Please," you say quickly, quiet but forceful as you remember yourself. "Eddie, please can I? Please, please-" You squeeze your eyes shut and shy away from his touch, worried you'll cum before he says you can.
He takes pity. "Go on, sweetheart."
Everything dissolves. The coil snaps and you really can't breath, biting down on your index finger to stop from squealing in his ear. He pushes you through it, doesn't stop touching until you're over the crest of it and panting again.
"Good job," he says, and you know he's done playing mean before he says, "Blue. Very blue. How are you feeling?" Blue – I want to keep fucking you, but I don't want to play mean anymore.
You pull back and feel weak, slouched in his lap, his cock still hard as stone inside you. You do an experimental little bounce. "Blue."
He beams and you do too, laughing under your breath as you lean down for a kiss. His lips are inviting: so soft, sweet, a short fall from tentative. You brush the hair away from his face as you pull back and take in his cheeks, pink with blush and damp with a sheen of sweat.
"You're blushing!" you say, ecstatic.
He groans, covering his face with both hands as he says, "Fuck off, you tease. This is all your fault. You don't know how fucking cute you look trying to climb all over me. How hard it is to push you away."
You curl your fingers around his wrist and pull them away, pressing a kiss to the back of his hands before letting them drop. "Thanks, Eddie. For playing games with me."
He blinks. "I like them just as much as you do."
"I like you."
"Wait, do you have a crush on me?" he asks suspiciously.
You burst into laughter. Eddie joins in, though it's strangled as he shifts beneath you. You realise then how close he is to his own release, his chest rising fast.
"Got more than a crush on you, Munson. I'll show you, if you like?" you ask, working your hips.
His eyes close as his head drops back into the couch cushion. Neck bared, you watch his throat bob. He moans and it's haunting, you'll be thinking about it all day, a wicked exhale coloured by the deep rasp of his voice.
"Want me to show you, baby?"
"Please," he says.
okay I just finished binge reading this series and I'm seriously in love,,, this somehow managed to bring me all the way back into my harry potter phase holy shit
Summary: PART 10 ! of Draco accidentally falling in love with reader during his sixth year (HBP) and going into the start of the battle of Hogwarts hoping to have reader by his side at the end of it now that it's all over.
Warnings: ANGST, crying, mentions of; blood, torture, abuse, war, death, murder, trauma basically everything violent :(
Words: 10.8K i apologize for any mistakes !
A/N: surprise :)
“It’s in Carrow’s office?” He asked, his nose instinctively scrunching when he said his name as if it disgusted him to even mention the man. You nodded as a wordless response in fear that Draco would be able to hear the slight tremble in your voice after a lump at the back of your throat had begun growing at the thought of going back to that awful place. It clouded your mind with darkness and echoing screams of pain as Bellatrix sat over you with her nails piercing into your skin while she demanded answers from you that you refused to give her.
You were silent as you trailed behind him, eyes trained on the top of his muddy silver hair with him nearly pulling you by your hand from how sluggishly you were dragging your feet up the stairs to the floor where everything truly went up in flames. It was almost as if he could sense your distress when you finally reached the undesired floor because as soon as you stepped foot onto the gravel and dirt-filled stone, his arm was wrapping itself snugly around your waist as he leaned over you to press a soft kiss into your temple.
"I'm sorry," he mutters quietly while his mouth was still beside your ear.
"For what?" You respond just as faintly.
"For what they did to you." He stops you in the middle of the corridor, his eyes darting towards the end of it where the office was just around the corner. "If I knew, Merlin I'd-“
"You didn't know," you frown, interrupting him as soon as you noticed his brow starting to furrow. "And it's done with now. Besides, I finished what he couldn't."
"Yes, you did." He answers with a fleeting small smile, a hidden proudness behind his words even though he half-heartedly tried to hide it. "But that still doesn't make it alright. Are you sure you're okay being here?"
You let out a deep breath before nodding up at him, forcing on a brave face so that this would be over with and you'd be reunited with your wand and on to face the next challenge that was waiting for you on the main floor.
"I'm fine, let's go," you say quickly. You grab onto the sleeve of his dress shirt and continue down the hall with him, entirely oblivious to the large statue standing tall at the far end of the way, right outside the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room. Hanging upside down from the top of the statue by a thick piece of rope was Amycus, bloodied and bruised and very obviously frustrated. You didn't see him, but Draco did, and before you could notice the presence of the man who has shaken your reality with desolation and agony, you were being moved hastily towards the door of the room where your wand was lost in.
"I'll meet you inside, give me a second," he urged as he opened the door for you and continued to gently try to shove you inside. You turned to give him a questioning look, wondering why he unexpectedly was becoming so antsy in getting you inside. He stared back at you with a feeble pout and his eyebrows creased, a clear sign that whatever he was up to; he didn't want you to be around for it.
"Fine," you mumbled, forcing yourself into the poorly lit room to begin your search.
It felt sickening and nauseating being in the room again. Images of the painful night passed by in your head like a nightmare that you were made to relive as soon as you walked in. You wanted to reach out for Draco again, looking back towards the doorway where you thought he would be standing but he wasn't and the room felt emptier than it did before. You walked towards the door, holding on to the stone wall to keep you from collapsing and peeking out from behind it to see if you could spot the waves of silver hair nearby doing whatever it was that he was so adamant about keeping hidden from you.
You watched as he walked down the corridor briskly, wholly focused on something or rather someone as he moved like he was on a mission with his wand gripped tightly in his right hand.
Draco swore he was seeing red blind his vision, rage coursing through his veins as he came closer to the hanged man. He squatted down in front of him when he finally reached him, his forearms resting over his knees and twiddling around his wand in his hands with the utmost feeling of satisfaction from the sight in front of him.
The man who constantly berated and belittled him and his family, the man who made it his goal to make his life a living hell inside and out of Hogwarts, and worst of all, he was the same man who tortured and kidnapped his lover on multiple occasions now. The man who went out of his way to ruin people.
He was nothing but a fragment of what he was only hours ago, defeated and physically almost unrecognizable if it wasn't for his murderous beady eyes and permanently scowling mouth.
"What? Are you going to kill me now, boy?" Amycus questioned sarcastically. "Everyone knows you're too weak. Go ahead, prove them wrong."
:readmore:
He gave in to the itching to press his wand against Carrow’s throat, letting the hawthorn tip dig harshly into his artery. The killing curse was ready to roll off his tongue and put an infinite end to the destruction Amycus brought. He wanted it more than anything, to be the one who took him out, but as the idea became more realistic with each passing millisecond and with his hand starting to tremble, he knew he couldn’t do it. It didn’t matter how much he wanted to, how much he deserved it; he couldn’t.
“I knew you couldn’t,” Amycus croaked once Draco’s wand moved away from his throat.
“I’m not like you,” he mutters bitterly. “I’m not a murderer.”
“You’re right,” Carrow responds coldly. “You’re nothing. You’re a blood traitor, you're weak."
Amycus' words were a broken record to him, the same phrases being repeating over and over again like a never-ending torturous cycle of all his biggest insecurities enlaced within a few remarks. If it was a year ago, maybe even a few months ago, or weeks - he would have believed his insults. Just like he always did when they were fired at him, he doubted himself and his character, his strength and skills. But he was growing tired of giving in to his struggles, of giving in to false beliefs.
"Is blood traitor the only insult anyone's got?" The classic sneer on Draco's face was one he always used to wear, his blood boiling even further as he stared down at Amycus' careless expression. Even if he was hung upside down, body battered and bruised, his evil spirits never left him.
"It's the only one that matters," he replied. "You think you got yourself all sorted out now? You think those people down there would welcome you with open arms knowing where your family's loyalties lie? You're looking for someone to blame for your troubles, blame that foul muggle-loving darling of yours. I was only ever trying to help you."
"Help?" He let out a disbelieving scoff mixed with a short chuckle, "is that what you call threatening the lives of the people I love?"
As you watched from afar, gnawing at your bottom lip anxiously while grasping the doorway in fear that in any second the script could flip and it would be Draco who was in danger. You wanted to intervene, you could see Carrow's eyes darting around the corridor, switching gazes between you and the blond raging over him and you were scared that evil would conquer and he'd somehow find a way to hurt the two of you without either of you expecting it.
"It doesn't matter what I tell you anymore, you're lost."
It was Carrow's sheer tone of confidence that pushed Draco over the edge he was teetering off of. He stood up from his kneeling position without wasting another breath. Amycus Carrow was purely wicked and there was no point in trying to make conversation with him.
The interaction just solidified Draco's wrath, and though he refused to kill him, he wasn't past causing him pain and he wasn't above using the Death Eater's body as a receiving end to his crucio. His time with the enemies did increase his power and his effectiveness. He didn't even have to say the spell or force his will to do it, it just flowed from the tip of his wand and seeped itself deep within Carrow's body. He made sure to wordlessly use the 'oscausi' spell before his torment as well, glad to see Amycus' mouth disappearing and shutting him up before his agonizing screams met your ears, something he didn't want you to hear no matter how much this monster deserved it.
He continued his torture until he was pleased; until he saw tears of blood escaping beady eyes and defeat completely wash over the man. Draco lowered his wand, letting out a breath of relief and eyeing the disaster in front of him again. Amycus thrashed around, his momentary defeat fading away as his swinging body attempted to break free but the younger Death Eater wasn't finished either.
He lifted his knee, the Italian leather shoes he wore were the last thing Amycus saw that day before Draco slammed his foot down onto his face with a powerful kick, knocking him out cold and fast. He checked for a pulse, found a weak one, and nodded to himself with satisfaction.
That was enough for him.
When he turned back on his heels to rush down the hall, he wasn't expecting to see you standing at the end of it where he purposefully hadn't left you. He briefly stopped in his steps, watching you cautiously to see if what you caught had bothered you, but it didn't. You briskly began walking towards him, his body still in a bubbling rise of fear until you were in front of him wrapping your arms tightly around his middle. You felt him relax in your touch, his hands smoothing over your lower back and encircling around your hips.
"I'm sorry you had to witness me like that," he apologizes with pained eyes. "I just had to make him hurt."
"I understand, Draco," you sympathize with his revenge. Although you didn't particularly enjoy seeing your lover so violent, Amycus was someone whose downfall had been long overdue.
Draco walked with you into the dingy office, the stone floor covered in hundreds and thousands of tiny gravel particles that shook from the ceilings with each hit the castle took from the outside. You heard a muttered 'Lumos' coming from the blond, the majority of the room now all of a sudden glowing with a cold white light, flashes of your last moments in there flickering across your mind like a nightmare you couldn't escape now that everything was becoming visible. You took a deep breath, moving forward hesitantly in short scuffles around the area you saw your wand discarded when it was taken from you.
It was hard to look around, the flood of emotions almost running completely through you as tears pooled in your eyes faster than you could try to blink them away. You were positive Draco couldn't see you or hear the small sniffles you were trying to play off by talking about how dusty it was, but he was too observant and never dumb when it came to you.
He sighed to himself, his heart dropping to his stomach slightly when he saw how your gaze shifted around the room and the floor anxiously as though you were reliving whatever you had gone through in those moments when he couldn't save you. He reached out for your hand, his cold fingertips brushing against your palm and snapping you out of the daze you were in with a small almost inaudible gasp. He gently tugged you behind him, lowering his wand towards the ground and kicking around some of the debris until he finally saw the familiar wand he loved to see in your hands.
"There," he announces quietly, bending down to pick it up and dust it off on his dress shirt as if dirt had never bothered him in his life. "Back where it belongs." He places it into your palm carefully, your hand encircling around the wand tightly and holding it against your chest lovingly as if it was alive. He smiled down at you, his hand reaching up to rest on the back of your hair while he gingerly pressed a kiss onto your forehead.
"Thank you."
"Nothing to thank me for, darling," he responds softly.
He took your hand again in the direction of the exit, hurrying you out of the room in quick strides until you were out into the corridor and around the corner leading you to the grand staircases.
He hesitated at the first step that would begin the descent to the first floor where the entirety of Hogwarts was gathered in the Great Hall all injured, dead, or alive. He was getting a sudden rush of fear, the same unease repeating in his head that you had already tried to hush away but it still stayed. He didn't want to be turned away and he didn't want to feel outcasted anywhere anymore.
"They're never going to forgive me. They'll probably cast me outside directly into the line of fire themselves."
"Draco," you say softly, placing a gentle palm on his cheek while your fingers brush away the wavy strands hanging over his red-tinged eyes. "In all honesty, it doesn't matter what they think. They don't know you or understand you, just what you've done and that's all most of them will ever be able to see. But as long as you know and the people you love know who you are, that's all that matters. Besides, you're not alone anymore. You're stuck with me."
An amused airy sort of half-laugh escaped his lips, a small smile on his face as he eyed you, the sight in front of him allowing another exhale of relief from his worries.
"You say that like it's a bad thing." You feel his fingers graze against your open hand, his pinky absentmindedly linking around yours like you were children making a silent promise to be 'best friends forever.' "You're clever, Y/L/N, I'll give you that. Always knowing what to say to make me feel like I'm on top of the world."
"It's because I've bewitched you," you smile stupidly while the blond rolled his eyes.
"So you admit it? Are you slipping me amortentia too?" He searched your playful features, the glint of amusement in your eyes he loved and missed to see that always left him feeling breathless.
"Definitely," you answer sarcastically. "But enough stalling, let's go."
He let you lead him down the stairs, his hand held tightly in yours while his gaze stayed stuck on his feet shuffling slowly down the steps.
Your conversation was rattling around in his head for some reason, his heart a little lighter after the impromptu banter even if it wasn't the most appropriate time to joke around. But your words brought him back to the times when you weren't with him; when you were forced to separate. The days and the nights he'd be worried sick with his thoughts in a twist and his chest pounding with worry over your safety.
Sometimes through those thoughts, he would have a very odd and unworldly recurring one now and then that made him wish that really, you were just a smart witch who managed to slip him amortentia every day and that those concerns over you and your life weren't real. He sometimes felt so deeply that it scared him, feelings so raw that he couldn't possibly understand and that tore him apart if he wasn't distracting himself with something else. He couldn't help but seldom wonder if maybe the non-existent love potion you had on him faded away; so would his fears and feelings. But they never did, they only grew both more pitiful and meaningful in a whirlwind of others.
And though he often hated to admit just how deeply he felt and the vulnerability that came with it, he has no regrets about letting you in. Without you, his world would just be a dark storm of chaos and pain, but with you; there's a light at the end of a tunnel. You're the sun, the moon, and all the stars to him that light up his darkest days and help guide him and teach him in more ways than he could ever fathom.
Before he knew it, he was stepping over and maneuvering around debris from the battle, the hand holding yours feeling more clammy as you both witnessed for the first time the aftermath of what just happened in and outside the castle's walls not too long ago.
The sky was a blackened gray, a thunderous cover still sitting over the night with lingering clouds of smoke that looked like they came from fireworks but had instead been hexes and curses streaming through the air with the build-up of dust from the destruction.
It was painful, seeing people searching around still and calling out for whoever they were looking for. Bodies of Death Eaters and Scattered wands and ends of them that seemed to be snapped in half and dumped randomly. Giant holes blasted in the middle of the walls and so high up towards the tall ceilings that it looked like half the room was gone. It was silent, but mournful cries were ringing throughout the air and groans of pain coming from those who were injured. Everyone you had seen so far looked just like you and Draco did; dirty, disheveled, anxious, and dazed in a numb state.
You felt him get closer to you when you walked towards the wide-open doors of the Great Hall that sounded busier as you approached. You could feel the turmoil inside, the grief and the pain. Emotions were running high and strongly enough so that anyone who entered the room would feel it.
Draco swallowed thickly as he looked around, his stomach churning with shame as if it were his fault why everything and everyone was in anguish.
You looked up at him almost knowingly, your thumb soothingly running back and forth over the back of his hand while you gently squeezed it. You knew him well enough that he would start blaming himself, just like he always did much to your dismay.
You continued to lead him through the masses, both of you ignoring the furious glances in your direction as you trailed through with the very prominent silver-haired Slytherin who everyone now knew was associated with the Dark Lord and his servants. You heard a couple of hateful mutters, but it was relatively quiet as you ignored those too and kept your search for Madam Pomfrey with trembling and careful steps. Draco kept his eyes downcast, some of the spots of blood on the ground made him feel dizzy but it was better than anything else in his surroundings that he refused to acknowledge any more than he already had.
Madam Pomfrey was scurrying around a back corner when you finally found her, sweat dripping down her face and her uniform stained with grime and scarlet marks. The second she saw you, her hands flew up in surprise on either side of her head, the motion being followed by her hands suddenly clamping over her mouth as a shocked and visibly grateful expression crossed her face.
"Y/N!" She wailed quietly, her hands bunching up at her skirt while she moved around the area to meet you halfway. You weren't expecting her to pull you into a hug, her hand smoothing over the back of your hair as she pulled away and seemingly inspecting you for any injuries. "I'm so glad you're okay, dear. I overheard someone saying they saw you and Professor Carrow on one of the top floors and they weren't sure if you made it out alive before they left. I've been worried sick, I don't know how much more loss I can take."
You blinked hard, trying to register her impromptu vent and concern over you as if you were the most important person to her in the room. "You worried about me, Madam Pomfrey?"
"Why, of course!" She exclaimed as if it was the most obvious fact in the world. "I didn't watch you grow up, mend your injuries, and help you learn the beauty of healing without growing a soft spot for you. I sometimes feel like you're the daughter I never had."
You gave her a warm smile, her random confession making your chest feel a little less heavy. You were sure she was riddled with feeling the need to speak her mind and telling people how she truly felt about them after seeing all the deceased, all the people who she didn't get a chance to talk to, or whose loved ones didn't get a chance to either.
"While I have you here, a lot of people need tending and it's only a few others and myself, would you-"
"No need to ask," you quickly agreed, it was a no-brainer. Your hands were itching with the need to help, it was the main reason why you chose to come down. "Where do you need me?"
"Anyone you see who needs it."
She gave a curt nod to Draco who she may or may not have ignored just the slightest and gave you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before she rushed over to someone behind you who had been calling for help.
You turn slowly to scan the room, cot-ridden people some covered in bandages and some holding onto their wounds while they waited for Pomfrey or anyone. You decided to focus on those first, Draco trailing closely behind you as you began making a beeline towards the people who looked to be in the worst shape.
Your wand was now held tightly in your shaking hand, the stress of doing real Healer work being something more common than you could have imagined now being right in front of you. You were still learning, still strengthening your skills but they were still sufficient, a natural gift you carried with you.
The first person you helped was a sixth-year boy, one you remember seeing on the Gryffindor Quidditch team as soon as he was in his second year as one of their more skilled Chasers. You remember seeing him play, so determined and full of rough excitement especially when he would be in a match against Slytherin. But now he was here, bleeding out on a cot with his hands held tightly over a spot on his waist and the light gone from his eyes. He was barely alive, nearly defeated and it made you want to scream out of sadness and frustration.
"Draco, I need your help," you said quickly as you observed the wound, pulling the boy's hands away from his side. "I need you to lift him up while I check him from the back."
"What?" He wished he heard you wrong, but he knew what you were asking him to do.
"I need you to lift him, please, hurry," you say to him again and this time he hastily moved to lower himself to the ground beside you and timidly began trying to prop the boy up. When he finally was able to, he watched you carefully as you worked diligently. He watched your hands feel around for any more bodily harm, your eyebrows knitted together in deep thought and worry, your bottom lip stressfully caught in between your teeth. You were muttering hopeful remarks to the boy that he would be okay, and as you dragged your wand across the deep gashes with your magical contact and intense care; Draco had realized just how talented you were. You were in your prime, your element, in full force.
After you bandaged the boy up with a quick spell, you allowed Draco to set him back down and began moving to the next without missing a beat.
It was like that for a while, moving around like a robot with one job where nothing else mattered except the saving of a life. You helped every single person you were able to, all the while Draco was admiring your skills with deep respect even while you were ordering him around to help you.
Hours passed, it seemed like. The only indication that time had indeed passed was the brightening of the dull gray sky now welcoming dawn. You had been working relentlessly, so much so, that for a while you forgot where you were and what you were doing there. If it wasn't for Draco pointing out the new change of day and what everyone was anxiously waiting for - you would have kept healing until you couldn't.
A flurry of hushed whispers fell amongst the desolated crowd packed inside the Great Hall. People were beginning to stand up and look outwards towards the collapsed gaping hole in the wall that faced the main courtyard where an army of dark-cloaked figures was approaching from the castle's bridge. Voldemort was returning, and you weren't sure if it was going to be a fight or the surrender he had promised. You weren't even sure if Harry went to him, you were clueless about everything and so was Draco.
A mob of students and adults had hesitantly but willfully moved outside through the large hole exposing the outside. They had an air of almost guardianship surrounding them, shoulders squared and hands gripping their wands tightly as they blocked off the opening. Those who wanted to see what was coming had also begun making their way outside, leaving only the injured and the terrified inside.
Draco looked at you expectantly, silently telling you that he needed to be outside too. You knew he'd want to search for his parents and there wasn't any protest from you as you trailed behind him to the main yard. You stopped beside him on the steps where the majority of the people stood, allowing the two of you to blend in somewhat.
It was quiet but the sound of several footsteps, stopping suddenly with their leader where he wanted and then suddenly all that echoed throughout the courtyard was, "Harry Potter... is dead!"
You held your breath and at the same time felt Draco stiffen next to you. You saw his eyes land first on his parents, they were clear as day just as frightened as he was as they filled out into the courtyard. They stood at the front of the crowd with the rest of the inner circle they were no longer a part of, standing off to the side with sullen and exhausted expressions or terrified, you couldn't quite tell.
You couldn't process what vile words were being thrown out into the air by the creature and creator of evil himself, nor could you process the eerie silence that fell upon what seemed like the whole world. There was not a bird in the sky, not a shimmer of sunlight, no butterflies or pixies fluttering around. It was like the Earth was dying alongside everyone. The darkness was devouring the wizarding world, but it was also seeping into the muggle world.
You hadn't even noticed what was going on, Voldemort's unsettling speech fading in your ears until you felt Draco's grip around your hand tighten almost painfully as if he was petrified by something. He felt statuesque beside you, his skin feeling cold and clammy and after a few seconds of a complete dead quietness, you understood why.
"Draco!" Lucius called out loudly in a quavering voice. Your head snapped in his direction, and then towards Draco, his eyes were shifting around him nervously at everyone who had turned to stare at him. He was analyzing them too, wondering if any of them would ask him to stay or to leave. His adam's apple was bobbing up and down as if he wanted to cry, a trembling breath falling from his lips as his father called for him one more time to come to him.
Your heart was beating through your chest now, your body turning slightly towards his as you wrapped your free hand around his wrist softly. He was being tested and in the worst way possible with a whole expecting audience. The fight between wanting to be good or being with his family was visibly eating him alive; even if it meant betraying himself, he loved his parents and being with them even if it was in awful, wicked circumstances.
You started to feel more frantic when Narcissa stepped forward, her facial expression was like stone, but the emotion swimming behind her eyes was vivid. You saw the same appearance on her the last time you were at the Manor, strong on the outside but troubled on the inside - much like her son. A pale manicured hand was placed on her husband's shoulder, her lips set in a thin line as she observed Draco and then you. You held your breath, knowing that if she called him to her, he would go. You felt like preparing yourself for the blow that was about to come, for the goodbye, for the letting go again, but nothing ever came.
She waited until Voldemort had his back to her, her eyes locking with yours suddenly and then over to Draco while she smiled ever so slightly, you almost missing it completely before she nodded just as faintly and mouthed, "it's okay."
The hold on your hand lessened almost immediately only for him to stiffen again when Voldemort looked back between him and then his parents. You sensed Draco about to lurch forward, but someone else did first.
Neville stepped forward, the attention falling on him now as Voldemort focused his unbelieving stare on him now. But what he thought was a new devoter was actually the complete opposite.
The speech he gave inspired the atmosphere again and gave strength to the people still willing to fight. You held onto Draco's hand tightly, his head turning to face you with worry at the death-like grip and the tremors shooting down your arms. He was about to take you away, about to run somewhere far away with you in his arms and ready to fight for his life to escape the next fight about to take place. He didn't want you to bear witness to any more pain and just as he opened his mouth to speak - everyone in the courtyard had audibly and roughly gasped in surprise.
He turned hastily, his gaze following everyone else's to where Harry now stood, wand in his hand and shooting a spell at the Dark Lord's snake companion. He saw Voldemort staring back in horror, throwing spells back at Harry's retreating figure while some of the Death Eaters began to apparate into the air in their signature black mists. That is when Draco found his footing again, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach as he damn near pulled you away with all his might.
You cried out in fear, the blasts being sent through the air and screams of spells like repeats of the night before were enough to have your courage muddled once again. This time, though, Draco was going to make it his mission to keep you out of harm's way.
He ran inside the castle with you, sprinting down the corridors with your hand grasped tightly in his as you passed piles of rubble and the empty portraits that were once alive. He stopped at a random door, forgetting about his wand and rather following his primal instincts to kick at its wooden planks until it swung open to reveal a dark classroom. He kept your hand in his as he maneuvered around the desks with you in the dark, his destination being the small storage room at the very back of the class where it was hidden by some tall display shelves.
The storage closet was cramped and empty, a couple of unlabeled and old dusty bottles of who knows what was left on the shelves above. He moved you inside - but he didn't follow this time.
"Draco," you warn. "Where are you going?"
He opened his mouth to answer but he quickly shut it, his head turning around rapidly at the sound of someone running outside the class. That's when you saw it, a dark mist unexpectedly showed up at the door, a harsh "Malfoy brat!" escaping his mouth as he started running towards Draco with his wand in his hand.
"I love you," Draco hastily said before slamming the door shut in your face. A clicking sound rang in the little room, your hand reaching for the doorknob he just locked on you to try and rattle it open.
Struggling grunts, loud bangs, and finally a shattering window echoed in your ears despite you being locked in the storage room. You were paralyzed with fear, keeping deathly silent to try and hear if they were still in the room or if someone had been killed. You prayed it wasn't the latter, increasingly growing angry with Draco for not allowing you to help him. Though you'd complained to him about him not letting you fight beside him, and saved him from being killed by the Death Eater the night before, you understood why he always flees to hide you.
It wasn't because he thought you were weak, he told you time and time again it wasn't your skills he was worried about - but his.
You fished out your wand with shaky hands and blurred vision, pointing towards the doorknob with a fervent 'alohomora.' It slowly opened, your foot kicking it forward only slightly as you cautiously stepped back out into the open. There was no one and nothing there but stained glass window shards on the ground near the middle of the room where the fight between the two undoubtedly happened. You ran towards the mess, leaping up onto a ledge and looking outside the window where Draco was nowhere to be found.
A dry mouth accompanied your fears, a coldness enveloping you with an unwelcome hug as you stepped back onto the ground and made a beeline towards the door of the classroom. You rushed through the hallway, ducking and hiding from Death Eaters as you ran with all your might towards the Great Hall.
It was still packed with people, more injured people than there was the last time you were in there less than an hour ago. Everything moved so fast, your feet carrying you forward without another thought as you bolted through the Great Hall and towards the courtyard.
You almost made it to the opening, your eyes suddenly spotting three heads of bright platinum hair in the distance hiding behind a large fallen pillar before you were met with the cold stone beneath you.
Someone had grabbed your leg as you were running, your body colliding with the floor as you ripped yourself away almost instantly once you realized you had fallen. You looked back with your wand on defense as you prepared to face your attacker, but there was no one.
A pale and almost green-looking older man stared at you with wide fearful irises, pupils blown out and mouth hanging open and moaning in pain. He gestured weakly to his wounded body and the sight nearly made you want to collapse all over again.
You glanced back towards Draco and then again towards the man, the decision in your head already being made with the innate need to want to heal the man before you as you scurried over quickly to tend to him. You used your wand to try and heal some of his more major wounds but some of them wouldn't close fast enough and you were left with the man falling deeper into pain as he lost more blood.
He started grabbing at your hands, forcefully pushing your wand hand towards his lacerations while you struggled to focus between him and the battlefield where Draco was standing with his parents.
"Please, heal me, please miss," he begged, pulling your arm again. You were forced to turn away, worry eating away at you as you struggled to center your mind for the spell to close up his wounds. He finally stopped clawing at you, sitting back in defeat as you croaked out the bandaging spell with a shaky hand over the area, and finally saw most of his gashes closing up while you did.
Your momentary focus was cut short when a loud boom roared throughout the area, some of the windows breaking from the frequency of it and your eardrums suddenly pulsing with a high-pitched ringing. You fell back on your hands, your blood running cold as you hastily turned around to look outside. You couldn't see anything, just a thick unpenetrable cloud of smoke and more chunks of the castle falling. You could feel the ground shake as they connected with the stone pavement, more dust flying up into the air as they did.
You felt like screaming, maybe you were, you couldn't hear a thing besides the ringing and distant explosions. Hot tears were falling down your face as you pushed yourself up from the ground, stumbling over your feet from how fast you were moving yet feeling so heavy at the same time. You couldn't stop yourself from trying to run blindly into the cloud of smoke, desperately trying to look for Draco all while praying that you didn't and instead he moved out of the way.
Your hearing was slowly returning to you; the sound of nothing yet everything was unnerving. Cries and spell incantations and destruction - but also panicked dead silence. You could feel and faintly hear yourself screaming out for Draco, his name echoing brokenly in the darkened air.
It felt like everything was moving in slow-motion, a feeling you don't think you'd ever get used to no matter how often it happened. It always ensued in the most unanticipated and painful moments, your adrenaline sky-rocketing and your mind moving rapidly, but everything else seemed to move like a stop-motion film.
People had started running out of the smoke and towards the opening in the wall to retreat into the Great Hall. They were coughing violently, some hobbling over and grabbing at themselves from wherever they were in pain. Some brushed past you, some bumped into you as if you weren't there, some gripped onto your arms and pleaded for you to go inside either because they needed help or were just trying to protect you from moving out of a danger zone. You felt dumb still calling out for Draco, no answer, no speck of white dirtied hair, no one hearing or seeing a thing about him.
The sob stuck in your throat finally tore itself through, your heart dropping to your stomach as Madam Pomfrey appeared near the wall to call out for you to come inside to help again. You didn't want to leave your spot in the sheer and blind hope that the love of your life would stumble through the area safe and okay. Even when the smoke cleared up and Harry Potter and Voldemort became clear in the courtyard again with their wands fighting against each other, you still didn't see any sign of Draco.
"Y/N!" Madam Pomfrey called for you again desperately as she ushered people inside. You were sick to your stomach, your vision hazy and your legs weak. You couldn't stop crying or shaking, all of your worst nightmares abruptly feeling too real for you to handle. Your name was called for again, your heart breaking even further as your feet unwillingly dragged you back inside only to be thrown back into healing people which was ironically the last thing you wanted to do at this moment.
Your tears didn't stop when you were kneeled and tending to someone's broken ankle, your whole body trembling still even as you tried to focus and still yourself enough to give them what they needed. All you could think about was Draco and how you might never see him alive again, never feel him, or experience life with him in the way you dreamed of. Every moment you spent with him felt like it was slowly going down the drain; everything you went through - all were just going to be agonizing memories. The recurring nightmarish flush of emotions that felt like they ran through you every other day when you thought Draco was dead was on the forefront now. You swore you were about to empty dry-heave over the person underneath you, forcing down the need to gag even if it was painfully bubbling in your throat.
It was panic all around you, and panic, and more panic - until there wasn't. You hadn't even noticed that all the rushing and commotion in the room stopped until you realized you were able to hear your faint weeping and then scattered shocked gasps and a disappearing howl of the wind.
You hastily stood up from your kneeled position over the person you were finished tending, your sight bouncing from every corner of the courtyard where the only visible person in your vision was Harry, his head following the movement of a long whirl of black ashes that were disappearing into the gray and polluted sky from the aftermath of the battle.
The realization hit you a million times over in the few seconds that you watched the ashes vanish into thin air.
Voldemort was gone.
The only thing on Earth that was standing between you and Draco from giving in to each other freely and thoughtlessly. It felt like all your fears had dissipated into the gray hub with the speckled ashes of the Dark Lord, no more worry for the future that no longer looked so bleak - but unknowing again. You couldn't find Draco anywhere and just as fast as your dread had left you; it came rushing back with a nauseating flood of terror. You were never sure whether to trust your intuition that always sparkled with faith that tried to wash away your worries or your mind that was racing with doubts and pessimistic thoughts telling the rest of your being to relax and lose the blind hope.
You almost tripped over yourself trying to scurry out towards the gathering crowd near the exit, your heartbeat feeling hollow and legs weak and feeling like you were sinking into quicksand. You brought up your elbow to try and maneuver yourself through the growing group of people, but someone with a swift grasp around your arm had stopped you and spun you around directly into their embrace.
Draco was no stranger to you. There was nothing about him that you wouldn't be able to recognize. You knew it was him the moment your nose brushed against the cool skin of his throat where it still smelled faintly of his cologne. You felt his disheveled hair tickle your cheeks and the soft thankful string of whispers that felt like a warm kiss going past your ear lobes. Your arms were tight around his neck, not caring about the possibility that you might be choking him but he was holding onto your waist just as hard and unknowingly spinning you both around in a slow and dazed way that felt like gravity was pulling you both together as he rocked you carefully back and forth in his hold. Your endless hot tears were falling onto his collarbones and soaking the neckline of his shirt, his physical presence almost being too much for you after you had accidentally convinced yourself of his death.
"I thought you died," you mumble out muffledly into his chest. "I saw you and then there was a blast and-"
"You forget I can apparate, Y/L/N?" He whispers the question.
When you finally opened your eyes, you were still tightly held in Draco's arms, propping your chin on his shoulder as you held your breath from the beauty that was unveiling itself right in front of you. You were facing the opening to the courtyard, the dense gray thunderous clouds in the orange and blue sky were quickly disappearing as if they were being magically blown away like they didn't belong there.
The sun was beaming down on you, the rays kissing every inch of your face with a warmth that filled you with peace. You hadn't seen the sun in so long, bright and shimmering in all its glory like it was the first day of summer. Birds and other small flying creatures were soaring through the air again, the chirps and songs of dawn that began the new day were beautifully loud as if they were alarms that were waking everyone up from a nightmare.
It felt like the morning of a day you were yearning so long for, a day that felt like the equivalent of events that you were just so thrilled for and couldn't wait for, where you spent the night before wide-awake with adrenaline and couldn't sleep because of how excited you were for what lied ahead; like the day before you began your first-year at Hogwarts. Otherworldly and full of awe and wondrous hope for a future that was now infinite.
You weren't sure how long it took you to tear your stare away from the scene. You leaned back, his hands still resting on your hips to hold you in place as you gazed into his waiting eyes but it was enough to make you feel speechless again. You wanted to kiss him with every fiber in your being, feel his touch from head to toe.
You took a look around you and saw everyone in a mix of joyous tears, celebratory hugs, and kisses.
"Are you alright?" He asked you quietly, soft concern entangled between his words, eyebrows furrowed and eyes focused on yours attentively. "I'm sorry I left you in the storage closet. I was going to go in with you, I swear, but I heard someone coming and-"
"It's okay, Draco," you cut him off, releasing a huff of air, "I'm alright and I understand. Thank you." You gave him a teary smile. He returned the grin half-heartedly, one of his hands coming up from behind your back and carefully moving a flyaway out of your face.
"Good." He let out breathily. "Now let's get out of here for a minute."
His fingers interlocked with yours, his arm tugging you slightly in the direction he wanted to take you in as he turned on his heel and began towards the Great Hall's main doors. It felt foreign now that it was riddled with every awful thing that just happened, stained and etched into the stone walls for the rest of Hogwarts history.
Everything was different now, it looked and felt like so in the clearest way.
You were walking through the large meadows blossoming throughout the outside of the school now that the sun was out and all its beings that came with its bright renewing light. Tall blades of grass brushed across your ankles, flowers, and weeds latching themselves onto your calves slightly as if they were hugging your lower limbs like they were old friends.
He was taking you towards your tree, its lively branches twirling around in the whistling gales flowing through it. It snowed white and pink wispy petals and bright green leaves, the pieces of nature flying excitedly in the air as they fell all around you or disappeared into the passing breeze.
There was a pause when you both stopped in your steps in front of the sentient's trunk, right underneath all its shaking twigs. Your hands stayed in each other's grasp, but no words were said yet. No reactions or outbursts, just blankness written on his perfect face if you ignored the wrinkle in his brow you were sure was permanent now as it was always there.
"How do you feel?" You ask almost hesitantly, the thickness in the air growing by the second from his silence.
"I don't know." He sounds far away. His head was in a million other places than where he was. "It's odd, I thought I'd-" He stopped himself. You caught the disappointment that flashed across his icy eyes.
"What is it?" You waited. You hoped you didn't sound too eager, however the innate need you felt now to ease away all his worries always had you ready at your feet to bring him some sort of peace.
"I thought it would feel happier," he mumbles, looking up at you with vast watery eyes. "He's gone, but he left me with nothing."
You frown at his reveal. You could sense the uneasiness inside him as the adrenaline from watching the Dark Lord disappear into thin air had rapidly passed for him. He was realizing now that his problem was no longer Voldemort, but his life that got thrown off its track in the process.
"And the worst of it all," he mutters bitterly, his tears now rushing angrily down his face in muddy streaks. You felt him roughly pull his left sleeve up, pitiful sniffles emitting from him as he struggled helplessly to fold the fabric up his arm.
You placed a careful hand over his trembling ones, stopping his wild movements as you tried your best to hush him into comfort. It seemed like the simplest things work for him when they come from you, centering all his anger and sadness so abruptly it almost feels like he gets brought back down to Earth after being launched into space. He was still livid and ashamed, but for your sake only, he kept himself from moving recklessly and calmed his haphazardness.
"It's still there," he let out defeatedly, dragging his fingers across the faded black ink on his skin. You could still make out the skull and the snake, its form still clear as day, just significantly less opaque on his arm.
Draco felt let down almost. He built up the excitement of thinking he would be able to get rid of that horrible mark one day if Voldemort ever got defeated, but the day was finally here and yet it still stained him as a reminder of the worst years of his life that he wanted to do everything in his power to forget.
"I seem to remember telling you the night you first showed it to me," you trailed off as you replaced the hand over his mark with yours. "That, while I know you hate it and I know it hurts to see it. It’s not you. And one day, forth from today, it's going to be so faint that it’ll just be a reminder of how you survived and got through the most difficult point of your life. I know you want to forget, but this won't ever be something you can just ignore. It's going to be with you forever and the only thing you can do is move forward and try towards the future you dreamed of when you thought it was impossible. I believe in your future, Draco. You can still be who you want to be.”
He would never be able to fully explain to you how appreciative he was for you; for your entire existence and your presence in his life. He couldn't fathom how much the flurry of emotions that ran through his body affected him due to your reassuring words dripping from your lips like honey. Simple skin-to-skin contact from you, or even just a look - could send his mind into a hurricane like that. He doesn't think he'll get over it, ever.
The feeling of you.
Draco took a shuddering breath, allowing the unexpected warm air to fill his lungs and hopefully rid his body of its anxious random quivering. He didn't want to cry anymore in front of you, nor did he want to sadden you on what was supposed to be a relieving day.
Unfortunately for him, you were able to read him instantly. You finally cracked the code of Draco Malfoy and what he looked like when he was withholding words or sentiments from you. When he was genuinely troubled with his thoughts. Or any other beautiful or haunting expression that settled itself onto his porcelain features. Your speech to him had touched the deepest depths in his heart and eased his worries tremendously, but he couldn't shake the anxiety gnawing at him.
Right now, he was looking spooked and pained. His expression wasn't as harsh as it had been for the last many months you've known him now, but it was still clear he was disturbed. You knew nothing you said or did for him would be able to completely erase the events that transpired and changed not only his world but the whole wizarding world - and yours. Everyone had overextended their body, minds, powers, and efforts for the sake of a bright future with the endless possibilities that no one would ever take for granted again.
All you were able to do for him right now was gently tug his arm to wordlessly ask him to sit in the grass with you, to which he complied, and you embraced him with every intention of never letting go. Something about the way you wrapped your whole self around him made him feel grateful all over again and most of all, safe. Your hands ran up and down his back soothingly, every once in a while one snaked up his neck and played with the hair on the back of his head, nails grazing soft circles onto his scalp. Your chest was flush against his and he couldn't help moving you onto his lap to wrap his arms around you tighter and bring you impossibly closer.
This was the first time, he realized, that when he closed his eyes and saw the darkness surrounding his vision - it wasn't bleak. It wasn't hopeless as it had been just over an hour ago. It was like a huge iron weight had been lifted off his chest, the figurative anchor tugging him to the bottom of his despair was cut free and he felt himself slowly but surely coming back up to the surface. The drowning feeling in him wasn't overwhelming anymore.
Draco was unsure of whether or not his steady breathing was because he had automatically begun matching his inhales and exhales to the rise and fall of your chest against him, or if it was because of the continuous realization that the Devil looming over his fate was gone, but he was grateful.
Merlin, he was so grateful.
He was fine for a second. But then something much worse came to mind.
The thoughts of what would happen after Voldemort's death quickly changed from him wondering how can he move forward with his life and now tainted past, to realizing what he and his family did was a crime. An extremely unforgiving crime in his world and one punishable by an eternity of imprisonment in the worst place imaginable. A place that if he didn't have the soul sucked out of him physically, he would lose it himself with time as he rotted away.
Draco felt his breathing switch from steady to ragged almost instantaneously again. His hands were suddenly on your hips, carefully sliding you off of him and scooting away from you so that he could gather himself. He couldn't look at you right now, feeling insanely guilty for who he was and how you didn't deserve to deal with his mess. You didn't deserve to keep getting put through hell for him and he hated knowing that everything awful that had happened to you has been directly linked to him, caused by him indirectly.
"Draco," you call out to him gently. You saw the panic in his eyes, his cheeks growing red with dread, and his fingers pulling at his white strands. You feared for him, his heart, and his mind. You wanted to cry with him, understanding that he wasn't going to be okay for a while.
"I'm so pathetic, I'm sorry," he expressed to you meekly.
"What's wrong, love?" You try again. You crawled over to him, stopping in front of him where he was hugging his knees to his chest and sobbing into the fabric of his pants. His cries broke your heart like they did every time, the pain always evident in his wavering voice. "Maybe I can help?"
"No, Y/N," he muttered weakly. "You can't help me on this one."
"How do you know that if you won't tell me what it is." You frown at his stubbornness. You noticed his attempt at trying to take a deep breath to answer you and the way his head slightly shook from side to side.
"Unless you can stop the ministry from banishing me to Azkaban," he finally spits out with a shudder, "then there's nothing you can do."
A silence fell over you two. The government belonging to the Wizarding World was something that hadn't even crossed your mind yet. And he was right. There was a very big chance he could get locked away for his crimes, and there was a one hundred percent chance he would have to go to trial and hearing, perhaps even a sentencing.
You felt dizzy thinking about it, a sinister feeling forming at the pit of your stomach. You couldn't handle another separation from him, especially after everything you had just gone through, especially after letting yourself dream of a future with him again, and especially if he was going to be gone for good.
"I don't want to go to Azkaban," he hoarsely whispered.
Draco wanted to live up to all his hopes, live up to yours and what the two of you wished so deeply for if you made it out of everything alive. He let himself dream of the future just like you had, only his imaginations were cut horribly short.
"I don't want you to either." You couldn't bring yourself to give him false hope. This was something completely out of your control and you knew it would be wrong to try and make him believe it would all be sunshine and rainbows from here. You weren't sure how the Ministry of Magic would handle things now or how serious they were going to punish everyone involved.
The Dark Ages may have ended, but something else entirely had begun and you weren't sure what it was or what it would entail. But you're in love with Draco Malfoy, and you accepted all of him including the unforeseen future that always followed him around but as long as he would have you, you'd be there for him, just as he would for you.
"Draco, you know wherever you go, I'll always be there for you."
"You can't follow me to Azkaban, Y/N," he breathes out.
"I know," you say dejectedly. "But maybe we can figure something out. I'll come up with a spell that allows me to apparate inside your cell as a pest or a bug. Or I'll become head at the Ministry of Magic and give myself the permission to visit you. Or, what if you don't even have to go to Azkaban? Whatever happens, it doesn't matter, this won't be the end for us."
He looked up at you with his reddened and puffy eyes finally, lips quivering as he searched your face for an ounce of doubt or regret like he always feared to catch but it's never there. Only warmth. That's all he ever saw from you.
"Even if they lock me up forever?"
"If that happens then I'll break you out myself and we can run away, start a new life as muggles in the muggle world."
"That sounds revolting." He couldn't help the small momentary grin that formed on his lips. "You'd give up magic for me?" He said, suddenly serious.
Without missing a beat, you answered, "I'd do anything for you, Draco."
His hands were on the grass now, raising himself from his sitting position to now being on his knees and surprising you with a firm kiss as he lurched gently forward. One hand found its place on your jaw, his fingers softly gripping at the skin on your neck and cheek as he kissed you deeper.
He laid you down onto the grass, your hair splaying itself like a halo around you as he moved his hand to bury itself at the back of your head and rested his elbow on the ground to stabilize himself. You melted into the feel of each other’s lips, feeling pixies in your chest and stars in your head as you sunk into one another’s hold. He kissed you passionately and hungrily, while making sure he kept his love for you apparent as he moved away from your lips every few kisses to plaster more all over your face in adoration. He would let his tongue slip past your lips now and then, smiling to himself when you repeated the action. You had your feet planted on the ground and knees pointed towards the sky as he ran a hand up and down your outer thigh.
He pulled away fully, ocean eyes searching your face or rather admiring it as if it was the last time he'd ever see it despite the both of you silently praying with all your soul that it wasn't. You reached a hand up to massage the crinkle forming between his brows, your thumb caressing the soft skin and wiping away the soot that was still glued to his face with tears and sweat.
He kissed your forehead in turn, slightly smiling down at you with contentment as you peered up at him. You wished you could hear his thoughts, understand the words and pictures that swirled in his mind that you may or may not ever hear or see. You never knew what was going through his mind when he looked at you... like that.
"On second thought maybe the muggle life doesn't sound all too rubbish," he admitted with a pink tinge to his cheeks, the tips of his ears following in suit. "As long as it's with you, I'd give up everything if it meant I can be by your side. You saved me, Y/N and I'll forever be grateful to you."
Now it was you who wanted to cry. The selfish boy you always knew to be obsessed with magic and power, his fortune, and his undeniably successful future that was in his stars just admitted he would give up all he knew that once meant everything to him, just to be with you in a place he once swore he'd rather die than become a part of. But that wasn't him anymore, this Draco was completely different. Unrecognizable. And no matter how many times you saw it, his newfound softness always took you by surprise and knocked you off your feet.
"My little healer."
You cried after that, welcoming his full body weight with open arms locking around his shoulders as you pushed him down onto you.
And it felt like just the two of you existed at that moment, basking in each other's love and devotion you discovered and developed at such a young age. You two stayed there, lying in the grass, your tree once again sending its flowers descent onto you like a silent blessing from the universe. You two were tired in every way and will never be the same, but you had a renewed hope for the future that right now seemed so far away but was nonetheless bright because if Draco was going to be by your side, there would always be a light that follows.
Steve Harrington x fem!reader requested by anon 18+
You probably shouldn’t have done it.
Probably.
But you did anyway.
The party was loud enough and busy enough that no one really noticed, no one really cared about the way your elbows dug into their sides, parting the drunken crowd as you made your way back from the bathroom.
The lights were low, the room filled with smoke from cigarettes and joints, swirling around the mirrored disco ball that someone had strung from the ceiling fan with a shoelace. Steve was still on the couch, half holding a conversation with Eddie and Robin, half scanning the room, waiting for you.
You dropped into his lap, grinning when he hummed, your skirt riding up your thighs as you settled into Steve’s chest. He was still talking to Eddie about a new band on the scene when you plucked his beer from his hand, taking a long drag. And when no one was looking, when everyone was too busy talking, laughing, singing, smoking, you pressed a piece of lacy, soft fabric into Steve’s fist, replacing his drink with something else.
You watched his brow furrow when he glanced down, his other hand wrapped around your waist and he hauled you closer, unfurling his fingers slightly before he realised what he was holding. You felt his chest move as he sucked in a gasp, a sharp inhale of surprise and his fingers clenched around the lace, his eyes wide and finding your own.
“Babe, what the fuck?” He whispered it, a hiss between bass and drums, his cheeks wonderfully pink, pretty and kissable. He was gazing up at you, awe in his eyes, his hand pulled close to his chest to hide his present but you could see the way his thumb buried itself into the cotton, pressing into the damp fabric, feeling you. “Is this your underwear?”
It was a rhetorical question, you were sure. Because Steve’s pupils were blown wide and he hadn’t had any of Eddie’s weed yet. His other hand was skimming up your bare thigh, fingertips ghosting under the hem of your skirt and he knew he’d find you bare, he had the evidence of that in his other palm and he was so fucking hard it hurt—
“Harrington, you good?” Eddie was frowning at the both of you, eyes narrowed at Steve’s flushed face, his glassy eyes.
Steve couldn’t talk.
“He’s fine,” you answered for him, using the excuse of yelling over the music to shift on Steve’s lap, biting back a grin at the feel of him hard underneath you. “You’re just a little warm, right, handsome?”
Steve was nodding, head bobbing and he canted his hips ever so, holding you tight against him as he shifted, shoving your underwear into his pocket and then he was patting at your ass. “Yeah, yeah, too hot in here,” he tried to smile at his friends, standing when you did, catching your hand and pulling, “in fact, I think I need some air.”
Steve didn’t even try to pretend, he dragged you out the party ignoring the hoots and whistles of his friends that followed you both out the door. He ushered you to the car, drove it a few minutes down the street until the party was a distant buzz and the streetlights didn’t reach the line of trees you were hidden beside.
“In the back,” Steve told you and he sounded desperate, he sounded wrecked. “Be a good girl ‘n pull that skirt up for me, honey, I wanna see how pretty you look.”
By Any Other Name; Sirius Black ☕️
“D’you have a name, love?” He was spitting mischief into every word. “Or should I just call you angel face?”
By God, he was not pulling any punches. His voice being as silky as your knickers didn’t help, nor did his wicked teeth or his lithe hands. It was a feat of its own to close your mouth, and another altogether to speak.
Your name spilled off his lips with an exhaled drag, hot and smoking and swept away by the wind.
“Pleasure to meet you, angel face,” he said cheekily. “You can call me Sirius.”
summary: by the will of mother nature, you meet your charming downstairs neighbor—who has been dying to meet you just as much.
word count: 3K
warnings: fem!r, sexually implicit comments, lots of mentions of underwear and lingerie
authors note: me 🤝🏼 making sirius act like my other favorite scorpio (ryan gosling)
1978. London, England.
+
More than anything in the world, you wished you had a tumble-dryer. The London winds turned brutal in autumn, and you’d lost nearly ten items of clothing before the season was done.
A pretty sundress, a flannel you’d nicked from your father’s dresser. A skimpy little black nighty, the top only lace and the bottom sheer satin.
That one had been the most recent, only the day before. You blamed yourself, really; You thought you’d be coy and hang it outside for the boy downstairs to see, and the wind tore it off the line and blew it to who knows where. Now some creep probably had it in his sock drawer.
Despite all of this, you still did not have a blessed tumble-dryer. Which meant even at present, in wind that might’ve blown your makeup off, you were outside clipping your soggy knickers to the line. Three clips each, thank you very much.
You can’t say it was all that embarrassing. London wasn’t particularly a town of modesty or shame, especially in more recent times. All the ladies along your alley hung their undies out, and no one seemed to mind. Maybe you just lived on an especially progressive block of the city. Whatever it was, you liked it.
You hummed a soft tune as you hung the last piece of clothing on the line, feeling chilly yet accomplished.
The wind had died down just slightly, leaving the clothes swinging on the line—suspended between your building and the one neighboring it. You peeked across to ensure that everything seemed secure, just in time to watch a pair of silky pink undies slip from their clips and fall a story down into the alley.
You clicked your tongue, promptly making your way down the fire escape to retrieve them.
As you rounded the landing to descend the second half of stairs, you were aghast to see the boy from downstairs—the one you so desperately wanted to see your cheeky nightgown—leant against your flat building. He was smoking a cigarette languidly and intently watching your sad knickers which landed before him.
You stammered at first, unsure what to say. The remaining shreds of daylight were reflecting quite stunningly off of his pitch black hair, in a way that was all too distracting. Eventually, you settled for something apologetic.
“God, I’m sorry.” You inched forward until you could bend down and rescue the pink knickers from the filthy ground. You frowned at the specks of dirt on them. You’d have to wash them all over again. Or maybe you should just toss them.
Or cast them into the sea. Perhaps donate them to a bluebird to use for nesting. God, you were embarrassed.
For a split second you became mortified with a scenario where you kept the dirty undies and this handsome-boy-downstairs wanted to shag you, only to find you’re wearing the disgusting alley knickers. Your cheeks grew hot.
You pushed the underwear behind your back then, hoping he didn’t see them in full. When you looked up, he blew a cloud of smoke from his nose and smiled devilishly.
“Not to worry, darling. I’m quite accustomed to women dropping their knickers in front of me.”
Your mouth popped open in shock. A boyish but refined laugh bubbled out of him as you failed to respond.
“D’you have a name, love?” He was spitting mischief into every word. “Or should I just call you angel face?”
By God, he was not pulling any punches. His voice being as silky as your knickers didn’t help, nor did his wicked teeth or his lithe hands. It was a feat of its own to close your mouth, and another altogether to speak.
Your name spilled off his lips with an exhaled drag, hot and smoking and swept away by the wind.
“Pleasure to meet you, angel face,” he said cheekily. “You can call me Sirius.”
“I can’t call you handsome?” You blurted, and Sirius’ smile got so much worse, which is to say humbler and far more genuine.
“If the shoe fits,” he mumbled.
A gust of wind blew and his hair billowed with it, just as he took a final drag of his cigarette. The embers lit his face warmly.
It fit. It definitely fit.
Sirius stomped his smoke out on the cobblestone and brushed his hands off on his slacks.
“I actually have something I want to give you.” Sirius inched toward his flat window, ignoring your pinched brows. “Wait right there.”
Contorting his long limbs, he slipped inside and disappeared.
Within seconds he returned, holding what you instantly recognized as your black nighty. He walked it to you, growing taller with every step.
“Think this belongs to you,” he prodded. You took the garment from him, smiling coyly.
“Do you happen to have any of the other clothes I’m missing?” You accused, and he ducked his head sheepishly.
“Just this one,” he promised, “it fell last Sunday, just here, like your knickers.”
You flushed. “Sorry.”
Sirius’ expression turned boyish. “You should be. I’d have preferred that you came with it.”
The wind picked up again and wafted his cologne with it, something citrusy and clean. A pit stirred in your stomach.
“Maybe next time,” you murmured, and slipped up the fire escape before he could respond.
+
You sincerely didn’t expect to see Sirius after that. Not because you didn’t want to, but because it felt too simple. Too convenient.
Stunning, charming boy downstairs, holding onto your nightclothes to give back to you…
He had to be a creep. There was no other explanation. Or worse—he was only trying to be nice to save you from embarrassment.
You kept running through your conversation with him, adding new motivations and hidden meanings. Each one was like a warning siren, and it kept you from seeking him out.
Sirius, however, was not dissuaded at all.
A week later and it was the turn of November. The winds were cruel and rain barely ever let up, and any sunny day became laundry day.
One fateful, blessed dry Friday, you popped out to hang your loathsome clothes. If being clean was this much trouble, you weren’t sure it was worth it anymore. You were halfway through the soggy hamper when someone downstairs began to whistle.
“Darling, do you do anything but laundry?” A familiar voice called, posh and smug and handsome.
You peeked over the railing, and Sirius was in the alley with an amused grin on his face.
“Do you do anything but watch me do laundry,” you shot back, which made him laugh.
Sirius was making a paper boy cap look very stylish, holding the lip of it to aid his theatrics. There was something quite old fashioned about him, even in his boyish demeanor.
“I like to hear you sing,” he defended. “You have a pretty voice.”
You weren’t sure how to respond to that. You didn’t entirely realize you sang at all. Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around.
“Does this seem a bit cliché?”
You looked around, too, at your balcony and the shaded alley; At Sirius, who was the shining image of a hopeless romantic, ready to profess his undying love.
“I suppose,” you agree. “Wherefore art thou? No—a minute is not enough.“
Sirius pushed his tongue into his cheek, grinning.
“I was imagining something else,” he said. “Let down your hair…Or—your clothesline?”
You snorted.
“Luckily, this damsel has stairs.”
Smile widening, Sirius raised his eyebrows, wondering if you’d meant to invite him up. You nodded, and he took the steps two at a time.
It was charming. While you were still reserved, you couldn’t help but admire his complexities. He’d seemed so subdued upon first meeting him, but now he was almost howling with excitement.
He was completely out of place on your terrace. A sharp and shining bachelor lording over your half-dead plants and damp t-shirts. He looked like he had a tumble dryer, and an iron, too. Or a maid. Definitely a maid. It was a mystery why someone so put together was living on the floor beneath you.
“What,” Sirius asked, looking dubious.
“What?” Your cheeks warmed. You’d been spacing out.
“You’re looking at me weird,” he accused, but he kept a lightness in his voice. “You don’t still think I stole all your clothes, do you?”
“No,” you denied. Then, feeling cheeky, you added, “just the nighty, right?”
He blinked, looking shy again. “Well. It—it fell.”
“Oh, right, my mistake. It fell,” you nodded, and watched his mouth open and close.
“Y’know, most neighbors bake something if they want to make friends,” you continued, enjoying his squirming, his brown pearly loafers scuffing on the grated platform.
You thought he was handsome when you met, with his cavalier confidence and dangerous smile, but seeing him so embarrassed was just as enthralling; His fair skin flushed pink, his broad shoulders hunched…his voice turned raspy and unsure.
“I was never good in the kitchen.” He said it like it was a fatal flaw, unfixable.
“No, of course not,” you said with unwavering mirth. “You’d hire someone to do that, wouldn’t you?”
Sirius’ head snapped up, shocked, confirming your suspicions.
“What are you robbing my clothesline for, rich boy,” you teased, wrinkling your nose at him.
Scratching his jaw, he blew out a bewildered laugh.
“What gave it away?”
You snickered, making a sweeping gesture over him. “What didn’t?”
Sirius looked down at his pressed white dress shirt and well-fitted vest. He then ripped his hat off, deflating.
“Thought I was doing a good job of fitting in,” he muttered.
“Sorry,” you cooed, though you weren’t sure why. It should’ve been insulting, that this upper-class idiot was so upset at seeming as well-off as he was, but he kept striking you with an odd sincerity. He didn’t seem ignorant, he just seemed lost, and you felt sorry for him.
“If it’s any consolation, you look quite handsome.”
Sirius looked up at you through his lashes and shyly smiled.
“Do I?” He needled. You hummed affirmatively.
“If a bit chilly. Who’s been making your cuppas?”
Grabbing your basket, you backed away towards your window and slipped inside. You waited for Sirius to follow, hoping your invitation wasn’t too indirect. Thankfully, he crawled in after you, loitering by the window awkwardly.
“Well, don’t let all the heat out,” you called over your shoulder, dropping the basket onto your couch and bee-lining for the kitchen. Sirius closed the window and meandered further into your space.
“You’re not going to poison me, are you,” he asked from your kitchen threshold, watching you put the kettle on.
“I’m not sure you should be as paranoid as me,” you said, leaning against the counter. “But I’m fresh out, so not this time.”
Sirius laughed. “Oh, good.”
“So,” you started, crossing your arms to mirror him, “who are these girls dropping their undies for you? I’m painfully curious.”
Sirius sucked his teeth, hiding a grin.
“I’m not sure you have enough tea,” he sighed solemnly. “We’d be here all night.”
Eyes tracing over the long hands splayed over his biceps, you bit your lip.
“I can imagine,” you humored. “A pretty boy like you…you never catch a break, do you?”
Sirius looked constantly unprepared for complements like this, and you couldn’t get enough. He was pink and silent and restless, faltering for something witty to reply with.
In the end, he just shook his head.
When the water was hot, you made up Sirius’ tea, and he thanked you shyly as his hand brushed yours. He put far too much sugar in it, and not a spot of milk, but you found that just as charming as the rest of him. You sat at your kitchen table, smiling over your cups.
“I haven’t had a good cuppa in months,” Sirius sighed, spinning his mug in absentminded circles.
“Thought you had a maid,” you prodded, and Sirius’ responding smile was bittersweet.
“Not anymore,” he said quietly, “not for a while.”
You took a slow sip of your tea, watching him carefully. As you set your cup down, you licked your lips, and Sirius instinctively copied you.
“So…no maid.” You leaned back, lifting a brow. “Who presses your clothes, then?”
Sirius frowned. “I do.”
“Oh.” You frowned, too. “But you can’t make a cuppa?”
“I—“ Sirius chuckled. “I can make a cuppa. It just tastes better when someone else makes it.”
“Ah.” Picking up your cup again, you smiled at him. “Well, I’m happy to help.”
Sirius pulled his lip between his teeth as you drank, rubbing his hands on his slacks.
“Well I—“ he cleared his throat, “—I should go.”
Confused, you watched him as he pushed his chair back and stood, ducking to you gratefully.
“So soon,” you complained. It was odd. You’d been avoiding him all week, but once he was around you didn’t want him to go.
“Yes, well. I wouldn’t want to intrude.” Sirius smiled kindly, if a little distant.
“Well, I invited you, handsome. That’s hardly intruding.” Your words were intentionally soft and sticky, cloying, to change his mind.
Sirius’s eyes swept over your face for a moment, his mouth chewing on words that never came out. Eventually, he left a thankful caress on your hand, where it laid dormant on the table.
“Thank you for the tea,” he expressed, and then he was gone.
You sat at the table long after he left, until your tea was cold and his empty cup was dry.
+
The whole week after that, you turned your conversation with Sirius over in your mind again and again, looking for what you’d done wrong.
He’d never seemed angry, even as he left. He was almost sullen.
In the days following, it was like he’d never existed. The alley had a Sirius-shaped hole in it every time you hung your clothes, and—as if it was missing him, too—the wind had stopped blowing.
Singing softly, you hung your final garments, enjoying the still evening while you could. When you sucked in a new breath, it was thick with the scent of burning tobacco. You looked down through the slats, and as you expected, Sirius was leaning where he was when you’d first met him.
Sucking your bottom lip, you looked at the cloth in your hands, and then back at Sirius. At the sudden absence of your voice, he’d looked up, and your gaze met his. He stilled, the ash growing perilous on his smoke, and watched as you held your dark nightgown over the railing. You let it go, and watched Sirius sigh, tracking its feathery fall to the ground.
When he looked back up, you were already halfway down the rickety stairs.
“Darling, don’t—“
“You know, it’s rotten manners to leave a girl wondering what she’s done wrong,” you scolded, plucking the gown off of the cobblestones. “Especially after being so charming all the time.”
Sirius winced. “I’m sorry.”
He looked frustratingly good, more casual than you’d ever seen him. His hair was messy and his collar unbuttoned, sleeves rolled to the elbow. It only made you bolder.
“Well,” you prodded, “won’t you at least tell me?”
He furrowed his brows, his cigarette long forgotten between his fingers.
“Tell you what?”
“What I did,” you huffed, exasperated.
His face crumpled.
“Darling,” Sirius stressed, “nothing. You’re the loveliest neighbor I’ve ever had.”
The compliment felt like an insult, calculatedly detached, and you wondered if you’d invented the whole thing in your head.
“Why’d you leave, then?”
Sirius shifted, his expensive shoes crunching on the ground.
“I didn’t want to impose.”
Unbelieving, you shook your head in disappointment. It must’ve been something awfully offensive if he still wouldn’t tell you.
“I can’t afford the expensive teas, so if it tasted odd—“
“—Love, it wasn’t the tea, it’s—“ Sirius licked his lips, hesitating. “I shouldn’t have taken it.”
Lost, the corners of your mouth pulled down. Sirius sighed.
“The gown, I—“ He gestured to the satin in your hands. “It was inappropriate. I’m sorry.”
Avoiding your eyes, he finally ashed his cigarette, but left it abandoned in his hand. Stepping closer, you batted your lashes at his shameful face.
“Sirius, if it worried me, I wouldn’t have invited you inside.”
“It should worry you!” His face contorted. “It was manipulative and debauched—“
“Debauched!” You grinned, eyes bright. “What exactly did you do to my nightgown, hm?”
Sirius’ mouth pursed disapprovingly. “Love, please.”
You stepped closer, pouting.
“You didn’t imagine me in it?” Sirius shook his head passionately, but his cheeks warmed. “Shame. I hung it for you, you know.”
Sucking in a breath, his cigarette met the ground as you waded closer. You reached out, tugging on the top button of his vest.
“Will it take a cyclone for you to ask me out?”
Sirius let out a heavy breath and shook his head. When he said no more, you tilted your head and pulled him into you.
“Well then?”
His eyes searched yours.
“Go on,” you said. “I’m not sure someone who likes his tea with seven sugars could be very scary.”
Brightening, Sirius took your hand where it fiddled with his vest. You watched with heat in your chest as he brought it to his face and pressed his mouth to it. He then turned it over and did the same to your open palm.
“Could I please take you out, angel face?” His breath was hot on the inside of your hand, sending chills up your neck. “To repay you for the stunning cuppa?”
Chuckling, you traced a feather-light finger over his jaw.
“Certainly.” You licked over your teeth. “I’ll wear my driest knickers.”
His smile slipped into wicked territory.
“Don’t sweat it, love.” A big hand smoothed over your shoulder, and you melted. “You’ll only be wasting your time.”
+
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