Latest Posts by staar-fire - Page 4

OKAY SO I FOUND OUT BRUCE DOES THIS SHIT ⬇️ THANKS TO THIS POST

And you cannot convince me he doesn't use it to protect his birds when they're in danger. Something's been tossed at one of his kids? He tackles them and cocoons them up with him for safety without hesitation. You could almost call it a panic response, if you could get him to admit that he panics.

Their reactions:

Dick: "I've been doing this nearly as long as you have, remember? I could have dodged that, but I appreciate it." Or "If you wanted a hug, dad, you just had to ask."

Cass: if she's in a good mood she's okay with it. A bad mood and he gets glared at and pinched because she can handle this dad, come on.

Jason: always starts cursing and wiggling around trying to get free before begrudgingly settling down and just accepting it. Never minds it as much as he says he does. Bruce would hug you more often if you weren't allergic to admitting you want him to you silly boy (he gets cocooned a lot so Bruce can hug him anyway).

"Are you alright, son?"

"god DAMN it old man!! Let me go!!!"

"I can't yet until I know you won't be in immediate danger."

"ARRRGHHH"

"Jaylad, I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"I don't need you to--!"

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again."

"..........." Sigh. Cue a little more wiggling and an intentional elbow to B's ribs as Jay gets comfortable. His siblings are gonna tease him mercilessly later, he just knows it.

Steph: spends the time roasting him into oblivion and annoying him in the hopes he'll stop doing it; has yet to learn that he does, in fact, value her safety and well-being over his pride. Shocking, I know.

Tim: grew up pretty touch starved so while he finds it annoying, he also doesn't complain beyond a bit of half hearted grumbling because by god he needs the hugs.

"was this really necessary?"

"yes"

"🙄"

"How did you--"

Duke: What is this??? What is happening??? Why's it dark??? Straight up blinds Bruce in surprise every time which just leads to him being cocooned longer because now Bruce has to recover before he can tell if it's safe.

"Son, your powers are incredible and we're very proud of you but please don't use them on me"

"Sorry B, my bad."

"I'll admit that's a useful startle response though."

"Right?? Some asshole at school tried to sneak up behind me as a joke and had to go to the nurse and I didn't even touch him."

"Hn."

"Uh, I mean, I don't use my powers at school at all. Ever."

Damian: gets cocoon tackled the most because baby. That's his baby, people are throwing things AT HIS BABY--! Fucking HATES it. Will straight up start gnawing on Bruce's arm if cocooned too long.

"FATHER RELEASE ME AT ONCE"

"Not until it's safe"

"I WAS TRAINED BY--"

"I don't care."

A sulking puppy for a little while that will never admit to enjoying the affection, but still, only for so long. There is a quota and once it's reached, It's like Bruce has trapped himself with a rabid raccoon.

Why are his children like this.

Ok but pattinson!batman in the justice league would be hilarious. like he would be a stoic, confident, strong minded scary leader who would be quiet and smart and everyone would respect him but than if he had to take of the cowl he would be some young guy with make up, unable to make eye contact, stammering about and nearly bursting into tears immediately because people could see him

the only thing you need to know about the batman movie is that this bruce is dumb enough, emo enough, and guilty enough to adopt an acrobatic orphan and think it’s absolutely the right decision

Just watched the batman and holy shit batman 🤧

Bruce got Zatanna to enchant more than just the cape. She enchanted three pockets of the utility belt too. All three are infinite, one keeps things cold, one just keeps things dry, the other keeps things warm.

He keeps juice boxes, apple slices, string cheese, and sandwiches in the cold pouch, trail mix, granola bars, protein bars, fruit snacks, chips, cookies, and canned goods in the regular pouch, and when he's about to serve one of the cans, he puts it in the warm pouch for a little while first so it's a lot more pleasant to eat. He also keeps blankets and clothes in the warm pouch which is great for missions in cold places.

He tries to keep enough food and water on him at all times for himself, all of his kids, and at least 3 other people for two or three days. It's good for mid patrol snacks, but more importantly, if they get stranded they have a supply of food ready to eat so they can focus on shelter and rescue instead of hunting and gathering. The longer he can avoid having to harm an animal in front of Damian the better. If they need the protein, he will, but... Best to avoid that situation altogether is his point.

He doesn't let anything go to waste either, he regularly hands the food out to the street kids around the city before anything can spoil (along with the warmed blankets and some clean clothes). Occasionally he leaves a few sandwiches, clean water and some cookies for Croc and Grundy and gives a juice box and some fruit snacks to Harley if she's having a bad night, the sugar eases her temper a bit. If Eddie's a little put out by how quickly a riddle was solved, he gets some apple slices, they seem to cheer him up.

Steph: I'm ten times funnier and sexier than you

Tim: 10 times 0 is still 0 though

Steph: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Tim: I want to tell Bruce that I'm queer but I just don't know how he'll handle it. How could he possibly understand?

Dick: *Having war flashbacks of a childhood spent dealing with Bruce sulking because he misses Khoa, grieving over Harvey, and breaking up with Clark every other month*

Dick: I think you're good, kid.

him

what a funky dude

My little emo boys 🙃

#A struggle

diana totally moms out on teen bruce every chance she gets and whenever he does something especially risky during a fight she spends at least three hours fussing over him and lecturing him

bruce wayne is really into greek mythology and he'll infodump about it to anyone that'll listen

Continuation of my sirens post, and a friendly reminder that batman isn’t on the side of the law, he’s on the side of justice

young bruce wayne has the same energy as natasha romanoff but especially when she makes pop culture references in her jokes and then awkwardly explains it bc he does that with gen-z and the justice league

they are the hottest

THEY’RE INSANE FOR THIS

Bruce getting stuck in a situation and having no choice but to call and wait on Clark to help him

Bruce: [trapped in a cave after an avalanche] “well shit… Clark? Clark! Clark!”

Clark: [shows up 30 minutes later. Uses heat vision to melt through the snow] “I’m here. Sorry, I was having dinner with ma and pa”

Bruce: [shivering uncontrollably] “you know what? I’m telling Martha you let me sit here in the cold so you could eat some fucking apple pie”

Police: Mr. Wayne sir, your child has been kidnapped.

Bruce: Which one?

Police: the kidnapper didn’t say. But witnesses claimed to see someone with black hair and lightish eyes. The kidnapper left a note threatening to orphan them for the second time.

Bruce:

Jason rlly has the best origin ever like. Eleven years old. Manages to steal three whole Batmobile wheels. Hes like you know what I’m going back for the fourth. Gets caught by batman and instead of being like AHH BATMAN he’s like fuck you bat-stard (knocks the wind out of Batman with a tire iron) (books it while yelling TRY AND CATCH ME DUMMY 👅) and all that makes batman LAUGH in the anniversary of his parents DEATH in the SAME EXACT PLACE they died. Like. Iconic. Truly not only a funny as fuck origin but also manages to tell you in like one scene everything you need to know about Jason and what his dynamic with Bruce used to/should be

Batman’s greatest nemesis:

Joker

Riddler

Penguin

Margie

BATMAN: WAYNE FAMILY ADVENTURES — EP. 11

I like to think that when a parent has a emergency with their kid while working at Wayne Enterprise they just go straight to Mr. Wayne (if he’s in) No matter what, he has an open door policy. He encourages them to find him if they have any issues trying to get off work

Asshole supervisor: “and you have to leave? This isn’t a real emergency”

Parent: [walks off and gets onto the elevator to go to the board meeting currently in progress]

AS: “hey wait—“

Parent: [walks in quietly]

Bruce: “yes?”

Parent: “I have to pick up my child, I’ll be leaving soon”

Bruce: “is everything ok? Do you need time off?—“

Good parent and good boss Bruce Wayne

My best friend loves rob pattinson and over the years she sent me a lot of articles/quotes of him, so here are some of my favourites

(there is A LOT more, this man is INSANE)

Bonus:

Bruce: I’m proud of you

Steph:

Bruce:

Steph, crying: It’s been so long since any sort of father figure said that to me

Bruce, also crying: You think of me as a father figure?

i am a private person who doesn’t like talking about their life but who also compulsively overshares at any given opportunity. hope that helps

Bruce: *stumbles*

Bruce: it's all Hal's fault

jason wants what hal has (to be the cause behind every major & minor inconvenience in bruce's life)

bruce has two phones, whatever newest wayne tech phone there is and the phone he had when jason died.

all most all pictures of jason are on the original phone, so when jason died he was terrified to get a new phone. because you always lose something when you get a new phone, and the thought of losing anything of jason panicked bruce. it was fine for a little bit but then wayne tech made a new phone and if bruce wasn’t seen with it everyone would lose there minds.

bruce ended up with two phones. he never uses the phone with jason’s picture, it’s in his nightstand. it’s in an otter box with everything backed up. but he refuses to risk it. the only reason he turns on the phone is to make sure the phone still works and everything’s okay, and to look at baby jay.

Tim takes photos of Bernard all the time. Steph was his first serious relationship, but there are rules; no photos in suits.

Now? He can't help himself. Bernard Dowd, a wacky character, a ray of sunshine in Tim's life whos smile ignites every inch of Tim's body. He can't stop himself from capturing gentle moments, Bernard's wide smile when he explains his most peculiar theories or perhaps his burst of laughter when he finally beats Tim in Mario Cart.

Bernard was hardly aware of it at first, but as time went on he found himself becoming flustered, a blushing mess when he saw Tim's bedroom, a heart shaped collage coating one wall, a mural to Tim's lover.

I’ll make fun of Male Power Fantasy Batman for the rest of my life.

But the Batman that, as Bruce Wayne, gave Scarecrow a job at Wayne Industries when he thought he reformed?

The Batman that spend an entire issue hunting Killer Croc when he killed some cops, only to find out that he only did it because he was protecting the homeless people he took care of, was like “Oh dang, if you ate them I guess I don’t have any evidence. Guess I’ll have to leave you alone Waylon”?

The one who sent the Riddler on the path to becoming a private detective because he needed help with a case and just knew Ed couldn’t resist?

The one who’s so proud to see Freeze doing better, the one who helps him every chance he gets?

The one who’ll happily team up with Poison Ivy as long as innocent people don’t get hurt?

The one who, at the end of the day, just wanted Harley to finally realize that the Joker didn’t actually love her?

I adore that Batman.

I like to think Bruce randomly pops up ninja style very frequently in his civilian life because I do that and in collage I scared a lot of people

Just going into an elevator and BOOM Bruce Wayne??? And he’s like, “sup”

Bruce Wayne talking to a group at a gala and suddenly he’s just gone?

Bruce standing right there when you close the refrigerator, “hey Bruce” like yea, he just does that