“So Which Ship Dynamic Is Your Fav?”

lifehacks from the greatest

ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:

bought a really nice looking fountain pen

that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard

this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do

it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen

i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know

it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it

i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories

holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure

i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)

i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa

i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity

bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit

extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else

i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus

“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”

bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better

i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation

no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out

when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious

at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best

"meta's face is cute so he hides it" is very valid and cool, imagine the opposite.

whatever orbs are, they are stupidly strong, extremely adaptable fighters and forces of destruction that seem to have one(1) whole solution whenever something doesn't go their way: go on a rampage across the land. that coupled with their endless appetites and diets that includes everything in the galaxy. also they're decently smart

they could very well be one of the scariest beings to come across in the universe, and meta is (or looks just like) one of them

could be that he stared wearing a mask to not make people assume the worse of him. better to be a nondescript knight than a flying orb

however. the whole "orb scary holy hell it could kill all of us" only comes up in places where people even know what an orb are and what they're capable of.

however, in every other part of the universe, gamble galaxy included? "oh how round, aw friend shaped"

Very proud of that piece 💙

whoops forgot the Wendigo claw shadow

SAM is a good role model.

listen… i’m a lesbian and i know full well what oppression based on love is like… but i wish white gay folks wouldn’t act like sexuality is the only reason anyone’s ever felt that

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

You’re welcome, TOA fans

how

NEVER NOT REBLOG

I love how the Impidimp line is basically The Little Guys That Steal the Socks from Your Dryer.

And I’m just picturing Morgrems and Grimmsnarls just using their size and strength to steal bigger things. Like you have to solve some riddle to find out where they hid your BBQ grill. Some douche makes an Impidimp cry and the next morning the Grimmsnarls have stuck his car up a tree, how are you gonna get it down, huh? Ha ha!

Once a tourist brought an RV to Ballonlea and like four Grimmsnarls moved it to the other side of town to confuse the hell out of him.

I was literally the first one to reply and then two people agreed so the poster was like "aight, it's official"

WHY DID PEOPLE AGREE

WakPak, rise up

You may now submit suggestions for bloopers and ask the AU cast questions.

Bellroc would throw a molotov cocktail at a fucking Dunkin Donuts for getting their order wrong

For the ToA kids