Spectrespeaks - 🥀

no I don't have a resting sad face I'm just constantly fucking sad

i think the worst thing about abled people is that even if you explain your perspective as a disabled person, dismantle common ableist narratives, correct misinformation and do all that work. they're still liable to backslide at any point. "but it's inevitable that most people are going to think or say [ableist thing]." their constant exposure to ableism isn't mitigated by having a disabled person to give a fuck about because they're ultimately not affected themselves. and it's hard being the only one in the room aware of the constant, relentless barrage of ableism that exists as a backdrop for our society. so they want to justify it to you. "yes i know this hurts you but you have to admit most people aren't going to accommodate this". they want you, the disabled person, to absolve them of whatever common ableist thing they want to do. maybe it's saying the r slur or being dismissive about someone masking when sick. maybe it's about benefits and what they really think about it. whatever it is, they're always so unreliable. all the effort you put in to change their mind can be undone that quickly it's like why did you even bother to pretend to care in the first place

*slaps my body* this bad boy can- ugh auugh that hurt

"read 2 hours ago" okay what if i just block you and you never hear from me again instead

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! WHAT GHE FUCK AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!!

I off myself in my head for at least 567 times in a day.

This is so boring I want cigarettes

I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive

chat should i actually block every single one of my friends from my hometown and completely isolate myself in another province