I'm So Terrified Of Lava I Dream Of It Flowing Up Mountains

You say, "A boyfriend sounds nice"

So now I'm sitting Here, Embarrassed For thinking that's What I'd been All these years

All these Years, years, years

All this time Our romance had been ancient History

I thought we were art The kind that could heal Your paintings abstract My writing surreal Pieces that where honest And made us both feel But I wanted concrete And you've been ideal I look at you and see More than sex appeal Maybe you don't want art Or anything real I'm just another secret Someone new to conceal

Did you lay me down Or let me go? From fear or mercy I don't know And you are with me Even so

I feel you in rooms That feel like home See you on streets I drive alone Your serenity Inside my bones

Did you send a song Over a breeze? I can hear your Peaceful melody And I sing with you In harmony

I slip into my skin Like slipping into A favorite sweater I am the nurturer Inside my own body A home and hearth Tranquil and secure My body is a warmth I am warm here I am so very warm

Please, do not be intimidated I am not really that cold

Or rather, I am that cold But we acclimate, Cheeks rosy with life

I grab your lip with my thumb, Nothing between us can numb

I envy the orchid For choosing when to perish To go dormant for An eternity that lasts as long As it chooses

I envy the orchid That it might sleep forever Then rise swiftly Like a flowering phoenix Back to life

It's in the way you tuck your hair Behind your ear In the way you speak your words Soft and clear In how you make yourself feel close Like you are here The way you navigate the world And hold your fears

It's in the way you tilt your head In photographs The way you light up when you're glad Your sneaky laugh It's how you say what's in your heart And don't hold back How you are strong and hold your own But don't attack

It's in the way your forge your path No compromise When you let me walk with you I get butterflies I love to see which way you go Every surprise Love is in the way you dream Watching the skies

Love is how you've looked at me With kindest eyes Love is when you hold my hand And don't patronize How you've been vulnerable with me Not afraid to cry It's how we let each other breathe Without cutting ties

Let me revel in these Small doses of sadness In their warmth, In that quick, biting Shot before blurriness

I find myself a sponge In a hot bath, soaking, Letting sadness fill me Until I become heavy

But in the small doses Measured in spoonfuls, In small bites, I cozy up with sadness Carrying it in my body

It's just hair Sometimes I am Covered in it Sometimes it Isn't there It doesn't matter Much to me Whether I am Blanked or bare I thought That it defined me Or that one way Made you want me I don't know Why I cared But you shaved Above my lip What I thought You wanted there So I still think It's why you left me That it was just Because of hair

You say goodnight to me As though singing a song Against my earlobe Whispering a melodic prayer Beating against my eardrum The rhythm of your words A steady lullaby kiss Melting on my lips as you Fade with me into a dream